Romans 12:9-21 – Live in Harmony with One Another

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
    I will pay them back,”
    says the Lord.

Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
    If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
    burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Don’t let evil conquer you but conquer evil by doing good. (New Living Translation)

God’s Word is applied by God’s Spirit through God’s people.

In other words, we all need community. To live in isolation from others, doing our own thing and only keeping to ourselves, is to be spiritually unhealthy – not to mention contra God’s will. We are meant to be close enough to one another to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

Living in harmony with others means we possess both an attitude and action of unity. Put another way, we are to regard everyone as equals by not playing favorites or looking down on some in a condescending way. We are to avoid sticking up our noses at others.

We need a willingness to interact with and minister to every kind of person. We aren’t just supposed to hob-nob with people who can help us get where we want to go, or who feed our ambitions. Rather, we are expected to treat everyone with respect and attention. 

Unity, harmony, and working together aren’t things that simply materialize out of thin air. There must be a great deal of effort expended to maintain healthy relations. 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3, NIV

True harmony is a humble willingness to associate with everyone, not just family and friends. This takes patience and a willingness to lovingly tolerate people’s quirks and idiosyncrasies. Every one of us is unique and distinctive, and, so, we must not think that everyone has to be like me, or that my way is the only way.

Unity and harmony are not natural to us in our fallen state. Left to our own devices, apart from the grace of God, we keep to ourselves and only interact with those whom we like, or look like us. It takes a great deal of energy to maintain harmony and good relations.

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-4, MSG)

Conducting ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel is to kick up a sweat for harmonious living. To do it, there must be genuine conversation, listening, and dialogue. Only spouting personal opinions at each other won’t cut it.

Holy Scripture calls us to unity and harmony because we have a nasty tendency to think better of ourselves than what is really true, and of others what is not so good. 

We often inflate our positive qualities and abilities, especially in comparison to other people. For instance, when one research study asked a million high school students how well they got along with their peers, none of the students rated themselves below average. As a matter of fact, 60% of students believed they were in the top 10%; and 25% rated themselves in the top one percent.

Well-educated college professors were just as biased about their abilities. In the study, 2% rated themselves below average; 10% were average and 63% were above average; 25% rated themselves as truly exceptional. Of course, this is statistically impossible. Turns out, the average person believes he is a better person than the average person.

Christian psychologist Mark McMinn contends that this study reveals our pride. He says, “One of the clearest conclusions of social science research is that we are proud. We think better of ourselves than we really are, we see our faults in faint black and white rather than in vivid color, and we assume the worst in others while assuming the best in ourselves.”

The acid test of harmonious love is how we treat the lowly and underprivileged people among us.

“If a poor man comes into your church, behave like him and do not put on airs because of your riches. In Christ there is no rich or poor. Do not be ashamed of him because of his outward dress but receive him because of his inward faith. If you see him in sorrow, do not hesitate to comfort him, and if he is prospering, do not feel shy about sharing in his pleasure. If you think you are a great person, then think others are also. If you think they are humble and lowly, then think the same of yourself.”

St. John Chrysostom (347-407, C.E.) Bishop of Constantinople

People cannot function without harmony. Consider a tuning fork. It delivers a true pitch by two tines vibrating together. Muffle either side, even a little, and the note disappears. Neither tine individually produces the pure note. Only when both tines vibrate is the correct pitch heard. 

Harmony is not a matter of give and take and compromise to make each other happy or satisfied. Rather, harmony comes through a joint mission, a common purpose, and shared values. If we wholeheartedly pursue these values together, not in isolation, but with one another, then we will experience harmony. 

A divided community is a group which has lost its sense of mission and is confused about what values they are to embrace. However, a harmonious group of people knows why they exist, who they are, and what they will do together.

But what if someone offends or hurts me? Then, we bless and do not curse those who persecute us.

“Love to God disposes people to see his hand in everything; to own him as the governor of the world, and the director of providence; and to acknowledge his disposal in everything that takes place. And the fact that the hand of God is a great deal more concerned in all that happens to us than the treatment of people is, should lead us, in great measure, not to think of things as from others, but to have respect to them chiefly as from God – as ordered by his love and wisdom, even when their immediate source may be the malice or heedlessness of another person. And if we indeed consider and feel that they are from the hand of God, then we shall be disposed meekly to receive and quietly to submit to them, and to own that the greatest injuries received from other people are justly and even kindly ordered of God, and so be far from any ruffle or tumult of mind on account of them.”

Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758)

Nobody needs to get all up in someone else’s grill about something they did or didn’t do, but to realize that God is working behind the scenes, providentially accomplishing divine purposes. We are to take solace and comfort in that truth, and not create division where there is to be harmony.

We are all in this life together. We are our brother’s and our sister’s keeper. So, let’s work together in a common purpose of loving God, loving one another, and loving our neighbor.

Heavenly Father, you have called us to continue Christ’s work of reconciliation and reveal you to the world. Forgive us the sins which tear us apart. Give us the courage to overcome our fears and to seek that unity which is your gift and your will, through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

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