Our contemporary society focuses primarily on a functional existence. In our pragmatism, we care a great deal about production, the things we can do and produce; and we are attentive of how we appear to others. Western culture is enamored with all things of the outer person that others can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste with physical senses.

The outer person is important. The way in which we present ourselves to the world does have meaning and significance. Yet, so does the inner person.

The Inner Person

I believe the inner person, the true self, the soul, is just as vital, if not more, than the outward displays we give to others. On the inside is where our motives and intents come from. The core of self is of utmost importance; it is the place where our inherent worth is found.

Being aware of this inner person (which I use interchangeably with “soul” and “true self”) gives us a guide for ordering our outer self – our activities, work, and relationships.

If we are unaware of what’s happening deep within us, or pay little to no attention to the soul, our outer person becomes a false self. A gross disconnect then occurs between how we think and feel within, and what we choose to display for everyone.

In paying attention to the inner person, we will likely find that there is a lot of anxiety within us. Anxiety may even transform itself into a despair of self and/or the world.

The Anxiety Within

This anxiety, however, is not all bad. It certainly can lead us to a struggle with life, an experience of strained relationships, and a crippling fear of what will happen. Yet it can also help us become in touch with the soul, and enable us to gain an awareness of what is happening within and what to do about it.

It is my firm understanding and unshakable conviction that if we are to learn anything at all about healthy functioning in this world, it must begin with learning about one’s self – the true self, the inner person, the soul.

Knowing Ourselves

“Without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God.”

John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, Vol.1

As we commit ourselves to the journey within, we come to discover our place in the cosmos, and the image of God that is inherent in us. We come to know ourselves as integral to creation.

If we never gain this sense of humanity and of the divine, then we lose our special perspective on reality, and of the vital interconnectedness we have with God and others. Separateness then replaces the unity and oneness which exists. As a result, the person lives without a sense of their true place or function in this world.

Feelings of isolation and estrangement take over. This profound experience of disconnection with God, people, and even self creates a powerful sense of anxiety. Fear becomes a dominant theme. Unconscious emotions and desires drive the anxious person. A belief that my conscious self is all there is to me is a path of denial that leads to abject misery.

Knowing ourselves – before we know anything else – must be our pursuit. Failure to do this is perhaps why we live in such an era of worry, pessimism, and fear.

Addressing Our Fears

Have you ever felt that there is no one to whom you could turn to in your time of loneliness and despair?

Is there a time when you felt as if you were in a deep dark hole of quiet anxiety?

Did you ever brood over your situation in life so much that all of your courage melted like ice cream on a 100 degree day?

Was there a season in your life where you felt the world could not understand your grief?

Has God ever felt aloof to you, with your prayers seeming as if they were bouncing off the ceiling?

Depending upon who we are, the self believes that if I am right enough, help enough, achieve enough, unique enough, know enough, plan enough, party enough, lead enough, or withdraw enough, then I will relieve this bothersome anxiety and fear within me and can get on with life.

Others may seek solace in the finite things of this world. But that approach only exacerbates the existing problem. Believing that freedom from an ethereal illness can come by having more of something you can see only increases the despairing feelings.

Any sickness of the soul must be addressed by means of infinite resources.

The Need For Integration

If we lose ourselves, we are fragmented and in need of integration. The work needed is to bring our spiritual internal parts into a unified whole. This then puts us in a position to experience the grace and peace of God. Indeed, the process itself becomes the divine mercy and settled rest.

We tend to hold onto what we are afraid of experiencing. This very problem often becomes the solution. Our anxiety has the potential to lead us toward the grace of God, or away from it by self-conjured solutions and/or coping mechanisms.

Rather than holding our anxieties and fears close so that we can keep an eye on them, we need to let go of them. This is accomplished by actually feeling our feelings. By holding our emotions loosely, they can express themselves and then fly away.

If we never experience anxiety, worry, discouragement, fear, depression, or despair, then we internally see no reason whatsoever to pursue transformation of life – to go after that which is immortal and invisible.

The Apostle Paul’s Struggle

At the end of a frustrating litany of anxiety over his inability to control the trajectory of his inner self, the Apostle Paul concluded:

So I find it to be a law that, when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched person that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:21-25, NRSV)

Sin presupposes itself through anxiety. And anxiety awakens the awareness of needing freedom and deliverance. Worry is not our master. Anxiety has no authority over us. Fear merely exists for us to pay attention to something.

In Christianity, that something is a someone: Jesus. Christ is the Deliverer from sin, death, and hell. The oblivious and lonely darkness we find ourselves trapped within has a way out, or rather, up. A divine hand reaches from above to snatch us from our inky hole.

If humanity never had a need of God, people would not know themselves. They would fail to realize that there is immortality in their very souls.

Taking the Journey Within

It takes bravery to engage in a journey within, down into the core of one’s being. It’s neither a vacation nor a weekend adventure. The path unfolds slowly over time; it is circuitous, and often frustrating. Yet, when we find the incredibly bright blue diamond at the center, we immediately know every part of the journey was worth it.

The illness of our era is that we are soul-sick with anxiety, even despair, and most of us don’t know it. But why?

Like a cancer lurking unaware within the body, the years of ego construction has smothered the image and likeness of God within.

Anxiety becomes the initial symptom that something is askew with us. We’d better get checked out and find what the root problem is.

Are you up for the discovery of yourself, and thus, of God?