Tag: spiritual journey

Looking for Mercy (Isaiah 63:15-19)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Divine Mercy, by James Janknegt, 2009

Lord, look down from heaven;
    look from your holy, glorious home, and see us.
Where is the passion and the might
    you used to show on our behalf?
    Where are your mercy and compassion now?
Surely you are still our Father!
    Even if Abraham and Jacob would disown us,
Lord, you would still be our Father.
    You are our Redeemer from ages past.
Lord, why have you allowed us to turn from your path?
    Why have you given us stubborn hearts so we no longer fear you?
Return and help us, for we are your servants,
    the tribes that are your special possession.
How briefly your holy people possessed your holy place,
    and now our enemies have destroyed it.
Sometimes it seems as though we never belonged to you,
    as though we had never been known as your people. (New Living Translation)

Desperation takes many forms – financial straits and grinding poverty; chronic physical challenges; the horrors of war; homelessness which never seems to end; and continual harassment. And that is only a short list of the destruction, death, and grief we have experienced and will encounter in our lives.

The penitent person who looks to God for help and strength through such times faces the possibility of divine disappointment. God’s timetable is not the same as ours, not even close. So, it is understandable that we can become upset with God. It can even appear as though God knows nothing about our situations.

Nevertheless, the penitent believer still prays, still hopes, still insists on faith, and even keeps up a steady stream of loving God by loving the people God created. But none of that means we never question God, never pour out our raw emotions and palpable hurt toward the Lord whom we have known.

The spiritual life has never been one of unending upward ascension toward the divine. Rather, the spiritual life is filled with continual ups and downs; three steps forward and two steps backward; and wondering if the spiritual journey of faith and patience is worth it.

I myself am in one of those ponderous times in which both my physical and mental health are in a place where I can see no way out. It’s as if God has taken his summer vacation somewhere on the other side of the universe, and left me to fend for myself.

Yet, I am one of those stubborn penitent believers who knows better. I have walked with God for nearly 50 years, and I’m not about to let go of faith, hope, and love, just because my life has several adversities and challenges. The truth be told, God owes me not a single thing, and yet, grace, mercy, and peace have been liberally and lovingly given time and time again.

But I admit, I long for those kind of glorious times once again. I’ve seen far too many genuine and unexplainable miracles in my past ministries to ever lose hope or ever believe God isn’t really there. I just don’t know why God is presently aloof, or if I’m too hard-headed to observe all the little graces He’s been tossing my way.

Yet, me, along with the ancient Israelites of old for whom Isaiah prophesied, who have experienced goodness from God, have our times of complaint, as well as penitence.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is filled with prayers and petitions, complaints and laments, confessions of sin, and confidence in the great Yahweh we have served for so long.

These heartfelt petitions are meant to move the passion of God to our deliverance and the meeting of our needs. Remembering the past commitments given by God is like the firewood of prayer we are trying to kindle and bring to full strength and heat.

In difficult circumstances, God seems much more transcendent than immanent. That is, God is understood as high as the heavens, and not so much as close as a friend. The Israelites pleaded with God to just give at least a glimpse toward them – to look down for just a moment so that divine mercy can quickly assess what’s going on.

The Lord is a gracious and compassionate God; it’s not in God’s nature to have no zeal for the ones who are devoted to that divine nature. God is reliable, right!? God will do what is right for us, if God sees what the heck is happening, right!?

The Israelites remind God of the past relationship which was an intimate connection of care and well-being. Father Abraham may have been the original Hebrew, but he isn’t around – Abraham is not God. Just as Abraham counted on God during his earthly life, so the Abrahamic community of Jews are depending on Yahweh for help.

The people knew something was awry, and they were not about to accept that. They want to understand what’s going on, and why they are in such a dire predicament. The Israelites even go so far as to blame God for leading them astray in some way. That’s the level of wondering and hurt they were under.

Charging God with neglect is a bad path forward for anyone. Just because things are bad does not necessarily mean that God is aloof, and that one’s enemies will take advantage of the supposed power vacuum.

It just gives us the sense of hopelessness, anxiety about the present, and worry about what will happen tomorrow. What they, and we, know about God is that without divine help, we are nothing, and going nowhere. So, that’s why we pray so fervently.

Yet, methinks we take ourselves far too seriously, as if the world would crumble without our divine connections. In reality, God doesn’t need us, yet chooses us for loving our neighbors in our world. It’s a privilege. Yet, one with a high cost. Love and mercy are a commission which will take everything from us and out of us to do.

As the people we are, there is a tendency to look for continual divine kudos and the accolades of others for our good work. But to be humbled and overlooked is a good thing, not a bad one. For we are being taught to disdain all the broken systems of this world. If we do that, we shall not continually be grieved, because God is our everything.

We are easy victims of vanity, and really have no reason to give God a list of complaints about how things have shaken out of our favor. Peace – real and sustaining peace – comes not from having everyone like us or get along with us. Peace actually comes from having others despise us, slight us, and have some contempt for us. This is when we become spiritually enlightened and learn to enjoy a full and rich connection with the God who once seemed remote.

As for me, I’ll take me and Jesus any day over any other relationship. For no other friend or foe can ever take away something that is living and permanent.

The grace of the Holy Spirit is always seeking the humble heart, and is always on the lookout for those seeking to liberate themselves from systemic and structural evil in order to do the greatest work of love. Wherever there is desperation, there is where God does His best work of mercy.

Grant to me, Lord, I pray, the spirit to think and do always those things that are right, so that I, who cannot exist without you, may by you be enabled to live according to your will; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Straddling Two Worlds

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

“You are not far from the kingdom of God.” (Mark 12:34)

It really sucks being sick, no matter what the particular illness is.

I realize those may be strange words coming from a tenured and ordained church pastor and hospital chaplain. Nevertheless, it is a truism which far too many people know about intimately.

Yet, there might be something even worse than the devastating effects of one’s own ill health – whether it be cancer or a cold, epilepsy or constipation – and that is the awful grinding reality that someone you love dearly is suffering beyond what you can do for them. If you could take their place, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

And, honestly, many, if not most, people are in one of those situations right this very minute – either needing care or being the caregiver.

As I was walking through my neighborhood last night, as I often do after the day’s sunset, I couldn’t help thinking about all my neighbors inside those lighted rooms. Every single person, I felt and knew in my bones, was going through some sort of illness that’s impeding the quality of their life; or they’re struggling to know how to pray for that friend or loved one who is profoundly ill, wondering what to do, at all.

Debilitating illness is one of those realities of the human condition that appears to be so devilishly odd in a world where billions of people worship God. If there is such a divine Being, where the hell is he!? Why do I feel so helpless?

There is something else for us to contemplate – that we live in a weird space between two worlds. The first world we are quite familiar with – the tangible reality of our five senses. But this other world is a place we are much more unfamiliar with; it has multiple if not millions of senses which we cannot see, hear, feel, taste, or touch with our physical capabilities.

Something inside of us, besides our literal brains, hearts, and guts, existentially knows that deep within us is a soul. I personally don’t care much what you want to call it – spirit, metaphysical awareness, biological wirings, gut feelings, etc. But there is a special place inside of us that is ready-made to connect with that other ethereal world of the spirit and soul.

Let me ask: What makes a young woman with cancer become driven to make a difference in the world, even though she may die tomorrow? Where does the desire bubble-up for a heart patient who could be gone before the day is out to say something of great value that family and friends will forever remember and record?

And what makes you and I get out of bed in the morning, desiring to impact the world in significant ways that makes things better, not worse?

I confess that far too often, in my own ill health, as well as the debilitations of my dear wife, I throw a daily little pity party complete with doll sized cups along with juicy gossip of how others don’t understand.

I rehearse old wounds from the past, wish things were different in the present, and fear for what is to come in the future. O, my friends, you already know this is no way to live a good life.

If we’re going to live with any sort of faith, hope, and love, we will need to recognize our place in-between these two worlds of earth and spirit.

I wish I could tell you that I have it all worked out, that I could give you some short pithy statements of experiential truth which will transform your life experience.

But I don’t.

So, here is what I try my darndest to do ever single day, as a person who seeks to touch both worlds, and who is devoted to the person of Jesus: I surrender to Love. I give myself to what is most important. And when I fail, I let divine forgiveness wash over me.

I luxuriate in the spiritual world’s reality that if somehow I lose myself, I will find Jesus – or rather that Jesus will find me. Love has its own mysterious ways of making the right connections when they need to happen.

I bask in the profound paradox that in renouncing everything I have and everything I am, I gain the greatest possessions in existence – and they are found on that other side, in the spiritual world.

I freely humble myself and resign myself to the words and ways of Jesus – even when they make no sense in the earthly world. “Love your enemy.” Really!? Okay, I’ll give it a go… and it is amazing to always see the results that happen inside of me, and in the other spiritual world, that have little to do with that other person.

The medieval mystics are not popular with a lot of people. I admit Christian mystics are strange people, and have the sort of demands of the Old Testament prophets. But I love them.

One of my favorites, Thomas à Kempis, is insistent that if you lose yourself, you will find Jesus. To resign oneself completely to Jesus, fully and totally without any wavering, is to find the appropriate sweet spot between the two worlds of physical and spiritual. Writing to his young acolytes, Thomas minces no words:

“Let this be the goal of your striving and the object of your prayer, namely, to desire to be stripped of all your belongings, and once naked, that you may be ready to follow the naked Jesus. You must die to yourself to live eternally with me.” (The Imitation of Christ)

Sometimes this happens intentionally, as one longs to connect with the Christ they sense around them. In other ways, much like C.S. Lewis, other people come kicking and screaming to the place between the worlds.

Yet, by whichever means we get there, a place of grace opens to us. From that awkward vantage point – between health and illness – we discover that binary explanations have no place in this realm. Instead, all of us move between the worlds throughout our lives.

And, I would suggest, that the best and most effective way of navigating those worlds is taking the strong advice of both the medieval Thomas and the ancient Jesus. Little do we know how close we are to finding peace and purpose in our upside-down lives:

Now when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, NKJV)

What we truly want and long for is no further than the hospital bed we’re occupying, or any other place we find ourselves in. And, furthermore, the place to find how to help that dear loved one is to journey within ourselves, not without.

If you are like me, you don’t much like limitations. I like the feeling of handling multiple responsibilities and accomplishing them with care and competence. The last thing I want is anything or anyone getting in my way of fulfilling great and meaningful work.

But I have had to learn that my limitations – which grow every day – are actually the key to knowing how to live the Christian life, as well as just plain old life in general.

The more I become aware of my true abilities, accept them, and move with them, the more I see that the world does not spin on the axis of my ability to accomplish anything. And the more dependent I realize I truly am, the more I observe the Christ who has everything under control – even when it seems God is absent.

It is to be expected that God will eventually put us in places of great limitation. Yes,  it will frustrate us in our seeming inability to effect any sort of change to an unjust situation. We just want whatever the offending circumstance is to be exorcised from this world. Yet, it rarely, if ever, happens.

This is not some demented divine game which God is playing on us – to be caught between worlds, and to struggle with all our might to make the best of our situations as people who are both sinner and saint, sick and well, sinister and full of goodness.

No, the nature of our common human condition of hard circumstances as people of faith is meant to strengthen our allegiance and our hope, so that we may be Christians publicly displaying who God is like, and that there is such a thing as truth in the public square.

“…even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now. The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God…” (1 Peter 1:6-7, GW)

It is downright hard trying to straddle between the two worlds of spiritual hope and physical adversity. But it’s necessary, even if we are unable to discern this reality for now. Every small decision of faith made in love with a good heart has immense impact in the universe, although we may never see that great and good consequence this side of heaven.

Living between two worlds will always be difficult. And it requires a level of surrender to God that is scary. Yet we can still be safe, strong, and spiritual; because we are all in this human condition together.

The Illness of Our Era: What Is It?

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment
Anxiety, by James Callaghan

Our contemporary society focuses primarily on a functional existence. In our pragmatism, we care a great deal about production, the things we can do and produce; and we are attentive of how we appear to others. Western culture is enamored with all things of the outer person that others can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste with physical senses.

The outer person is important. The way in which we present ourselves to the world does have meaning and significance. Yet, so does the inner person.

The Inner Person

I believe the inner person, the true self, the soul, is just as vital, if not more, than the outward displays we give to others. On the inside is where our motives and intents come from. The core of self is of utmost importance; it is the place where our inherent worth is found.

Being aware of this inner person (which I use interchangeably with “soul” and “true self”) gives us a guide for ordering our outer self – our activities, work, and relationships.

If we are unaware of what’s happening deep within us, or pay little to no attention to the soul, our outer person becomes a false self. A gross disconnect then occurs between how we think and feel within, and what we choose to display for everyone.

In paying attention to the inner person, we will likely find that there is a lot of anxiety within us. Anxiety may even transform itself into a despair of self and/or the world.

The Anxiety Within

This anxiety, however, is not all bad. It certainly can lead us to a struggle with life, an experience of strained relationships, and a crippling fear of what will happen. Yet it can also help us become in touch with the soul, and enable us to gain an awareness of what is happening within and what to do about it.

It is my firm understanding and unshakable conviction that if we are to learn anything at all about healthy functioning in this world, it must begin with learning about one’s self – the true self, the inner person, the soul.

Knowing Ourselves

“Without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God.”

John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, Vol.1

As we commit ourselves to the journey within, we come to discover our place in the cosmos, and the image of God that is inherent in us. We come to know ourselves as integral to creation.

If we never gain this sense of humanity and of the divine, then we lose our special perspective on reality, and of the vital interconnectedness we have with God and others. Separateness then replaces the unity and oneness which exists. As a result, the person lives without a sense of their true place or function in this world.

Feelings of isolation and estrangement take over. This profound experience of disconnection with God, people, and even self creates a powerful sense of anxiety. Fear becomes a dominant theme. Unconscious emotions and desires drive the anxious person. A belief that my conscious self is all there is to me is a path of denial that leads to abject misery.

Knowing ourselves – before we know anything else – must be our pursuit. Failure to do this is perhaps why we live in such an era of worry, pessimism, and fear.

Addressing Our Fears

Have you ever felt that there is no one to whom you could turn to in your time of loneliness and despair?

Is there a time when you felt as if you were in a deep dark hole of quiet anxiety?

Did you ever brood over your situation in life so much that all of your courage melted like ice cream on a 100 degree day?

Was there a season in your life where you felt the world could not understand your grief?

Has God ever felt aloof to you, with your prayers seeming as if they were bouncing off the ceiling?

Depending upon who we are, the self believes that if I am right enough, help enough, achieve enough, unique enough, know enough, plan enough, party enough, lead enough, or withdraw enough, then I will relieve this bothersome anxiety and fear within me and can get on with life.

Others may seek solace in the finite things of this world. But that approach only exacerbates the existing problem. Believing that freedom from an ethereal illness can come by having more of something you can see only increases the despairing feelings.

Any sickness of the soul must be addressed by means of infinite resources.

The Need For Integration

If we lose ourselves, we are fragmented and in need of integration. The work needed is to bring our spiritual internal parts into a unified whole. This then puts us in a position to experience the grace and peace of God. Indeed, the process itself becomes the divine mercy and settled rest.

We tend to hold onto what we are afraid of experiencing. This very problem often becomes the solution. Our anxiety has the potential to lead us toward the grace of God, or away from it by self-conjured solutions and/or coping mechanisms.

Rather than holding our anxieties and fears close so that we can keep an eye on them, we need to let go of them. This is accomplished by actually feeling our feelings. By holding our emotions loosely, they can express themselves and then fly away.

If we never experience anxiety, worry, discouragement, fear, depression, or despair, then we internally see no reason whatsoever to pursue transformation of life – to go after that which is immortal and invisible.

The Apostle Paul’s Struggle

At the end of a frustrating litany of anxiety over his inability to control the trajectory of his inner self, the Apostle Paul concluded:

So I find it to be a law that, when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched person that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:21-25, NRSV)

Sin presupposes itself through anxiety. And anxiety awakens the awareness of needing freedom and deliverance. Worry is not our master. Anxiety has no authority over us. Fear merely exists for us to pay attention to something.

In Christianity, that something is a someone: Jesus. Christ is the Deliverer from sin, death, and hell. The oblivious and lonely darkness we find ourselves trapped within has a way out, or rather, up. A divine hand reaches from above to snatch us from our inky hole.

If humanity never had a need of God, people would not know themselves. They would fail to realize that there is immortality in their very souls.

Taking the Journey Within

It takes bravery to engage in a journey within, down into the core of one’s being. It’s neither a vacation nor a weekend adventure. The path unfolds slowly over time; it is circuitous, and often frustrating. Yet, when we find the incredibly bright blue diamond at the center, we immediately know every part of the journey was worth it.

The illness of our era is that we are soul-sick with anxiety, even despair, and most of us don’t know it. But why?

Like a cancer lurking unaware within the body, the years of ego construction has smothered the image and likeness of God within.

Anxiety becomes the initial symptom that something is askew with us. We’d better get checked out and find what the root problem is.

Are you up for the discovery of yourself, and thus, of God?

Second Sunday of Advent – Prepare the Way (Luke 3:1-6)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment
The Call from John the Baptist to Repent, by Renier de Huy, 12th century

In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, and Herod was ruler of Galilee, and his brother Philip ruler of the region of Ituraea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias ruler of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the wilderness. He went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, as it is written in the book of the words of the prophet Isaiah,

“The voice of one crying out in the wilderness:
‘Prepare the way of the Lord;
    make his paths straight.
Every valley shall be filled,
    and every mountain and hill shall be made low,
and the crooked shall be made straight,
    and the rough ways made smooth,
and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.’ ” (New Revised Standard Bible)

In this Christian season of Advent, we are reminded that God is not only high above us, transcendent, far away; God is also close to us, immanent, and with us.

We remember at this time of year that God does not remain distant, but entered our time and space at a particular moment in history, for a distinct purpose.

The Roman Empire was powerful, large, and very much in control of every place where it existed. The litany of imperial rulers and authorities which the Gospel writer Luke listed is meant to give us a feel of the Roman weight, and how much Roman might was ensconced in Judea.

The world at the turn of the common era was under the dominion of powerful people with lots of influence. But God did not come to any of them. Instead, God came to a loner – a man who spent his time out in the wilderness. His name was John, the son of Zechariah. We know him as John the Baptist.

With God coming to John at a precise point of time in a particular place, that made John a prophet with a singular message. John was born for this. (Luke 1:76)

It is fitting that a man hanging out on the fringes of society all by himself would be the one to prepare the way for Messiah.

After all, Messiah’s message would be one of bringing good news to the poor, proclaiming release to prisoners, and freeing those who are oppressed. (Luke 4:18-19; Isaiah 61:1-2)

God’s prophetic calling for John was one of preparation. John was to prepare the way of the Lord. He was to get the people ready to receive Messiah.

John went about his ministry of preparation by calling folks to repent, to change their minds and amend their ways, so that there might be forgiveness.

In a reference from the prophet Isaiah, Luke alluded to Jewish exiles returning from their Babylonian captivity. The actual physical road from Babylon to Jerusalem was a hard journey due to the distance and topography.

The “road” or the “way” in Holy Scripture is also a metaphor for the spiritual journey we take in this life. And that road has a lot of challenges to it. The very act of walking as a pilgrim over a long arduous journey changes a person.

It is rarely the destination that makes a person; it’s the journey itself which leads one to a changed life of thinking differently, and seeing things from a perspective we’ve never seen before.

The smoothing out of the road is a way of saying God is making it easier for people to return to the Lord, to get them ready for a new life with promises fulfilled and unexpected joy.

In other words, valleys raised and mountains flattened represent God’s efforts at helping us experience a complete transformation of life. The Lord will do everything possible to make renewal and restoration happen for us.

The Lord will set things right. In our contemporary world that is now largely controlled by powerful oligarchs and the super-rich, God will turn it upside-down. All of the world’s current powerful people will find themselves looking up, not down.

It would be nice and reassuring if I could give you certainty about the journey ahead. But I cannot do that. Yet, what I can do is assure us of what is at the end of the road. Look beyond the current days of self-centered leadership and popular ignorance, and understand that all flesh shall see the salvation of God.

Prepare the way of the Lord. We do that by how we go about walking the road. Each step we take every day is important and makes a difference. And when we stumble, there is plenty of grace to help get us back on our feet and moving forward.

We are all collectively journeying together to Bethlehem. And as we daily move and walk, at the end of our journey, Jesus is there.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, in order to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as children. (Galatians 4:4, NRSV)

And nothing can stop us or separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39, NRSV)

The journey may be arduous. You might feel like giving up. But Jesus is our Immanuel, God with us. In him, is our hope and our joy.

O Holy One of Israel, out of the embrace of mercy and righteousness, you have brought forth joy and dignity for your people. Remember now your ancient promise; make straight the paths that lead to you, and smooth the rough ways, so that in our day we might bring forth your compassion for all humanity. Amen.