Tag: spiritual life

Looking for Mercy (Isaiah 63:15-19)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Divine Mercy, by James Janknegt, 2009

Lord, look down from heaven;
    look from your holy, glorious home, and see us.
Where is the passion and the might
    you used to show on our behalf?
    Where are your mercy and compassion now?
Surely you are still our Father!
    Even if Abraham and Jacob would disown us,
Lord, you would still be our Father.
    You are our Redeemer from ages past.
Lord, why have you allowed us to turn from your path?
    Why have you given us stubborn hearts so we no longer fear you?
Return and help us, for we are your servants,
    the tribes that are your special possession.
How briefly your holy people possessed your holy place,
    and now our enemies have destroyed it.
Sometimes it seems as though we never belonged to you,
    as though we had never been known as your people. (New Living Translation)

Desperation takes many forms – financial straits and grinding poverty; chronic physical challenges; the horrors of war; homelessness which never seems to end; and continual harassment. And that is only a short list of the destruction, death, and grief we have experienced and will encounter in our lives.

The penitent person who looks to God for help and strength through such times faces the possibility of divine disappointment. God’s timetable is not the same as ours, not even close. So, it is understandable that we can become upset with God. It can even appear as though God knows nothing about our situations.

Nevertheless, the penitent believer still prays, still hopes, still insists on faith, and even keeps up a steady stream of loving God by loving the people God created. But none of that means we never question God, never pour out our raw emotions and palpable hurt toward the Lord whom we have known.

The spiritual life has never been one of unending upward ascension toward the divine. Rather, the spiritual life is filled with continual ups and downs; three steps forward and two steps backward; and wondering if the spiritual journey of faith and patience is worth it.

I myself am in one of those ponderous times in which both my physical and mental health are in a place where I can see no way out. It’s as if God has taken his summer vacation somewhere on the other side of the universe, and left me to fend for myself.

Yet, I am one of those stubborn penitent believers who knows better. I have walked with God for nearly 50 years, and I’m not about to let go of faith, hope, and love, just because my life has several adversities and challenges. The truth be told, God owes me not a single thing, and yet, grace, mercy, and peace have been liberally and lovingly given time and time again.

But I admit, I long for those kind of glorious times once again. I’ve seen far too many genuine and unexplainable miracles in my past ministries to ever lose hope or ever believe God isn’t really there. I just don’t know why God is presently aloof, or if I’m too hard-headed to observe all the little graces He’s been tossing my way.

Yet, me, along with the ancient Israelites of old for whom Isaiah prophesied, who have experienced goodness from God, have our times of complaint, as well as penitence.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is filled with prayers and petitions, complaints and laments, confessions of sin, and confidence in the great Yahweh we have served for so long.

These heartfelt petitions are meant to move the passion of God to our deliverance and the meeting of our needs. Remembering the past commitments given by God is like the firewood of prayer we are trying to kindle and bring to full strength and heat.

In difficult circumstances, God seems much more transcendent than immanent. That is, God is understood as high as the heavens, and not so much as close as a friend. The Israelites pleaded with God to just give at least a glimpse toward them – to look down for just a moment so that divine mercy can quickly assess what’s going on.

The Lord is a gracious and compassionate God; it’s not in God’s nature to have no zeal for the ones who are devoted to that divine nature. God is reliable, right!? God will do what is right for us, if God sees what the heck is happening, right!?

The Israelites remind God of the past relationship which was an intimate connection of care and well-being. Father Abraham may have been the original Hebrew, but he isn’t around – Abraham is not God. Just as Abraham counted on God during his earthly life, so the Abrahamic community of Jews are depending on Yahweh for help.

The people knew something was awry, and they were not about to accept that. They want to understand what’s going on, and why they are in such a dire predicament. The Israelites even go so far as to blame God for leading them astray in some way. That’s the level of wondering and hurt they were under.

Charging God with neglect is a bad path forward for anyone. Just because things are bad does not necessarily mean that God is aloof, and that one’s enemies will take advantage of the supposed power vacuum.

It just gives us the sense of hopelessness, anxiety about the present, and worry about what will happen tomorrow. What they, and we, know about God is that without divine help, we are nothing, and going nowhere. So, that’s why we pray so fervently.

Yet, methinks we take ourselves far too seriously, as if the world would crumble without our divine connections. In reality, God doesn’t need us, yet chooses us for loving our neighbors in our world. It’s a privilege. Yet, one with a high cost. Love and mercy are a commission which will take everything from us and out of us to do.

As the people we are, there is a tendency to look for continual divine kudos and the accolades of others for our good work. But to be humbled and overlooked is a good thing, not a bad one. For we are being taught to disdain all the broken systems of this world. If we do that, we shall not continually be grieved, because God is our everything.

We are easy victims of vanity, and really have no reason to give God a list of complaints about how things have shaken out of our favor. Peace – real and sustaining peace – comes not from having everyone like us or get along with us. Peace actually comes from having others despise us, slight us, and have some contempt for us. This is when we become spiritually enlightened and learn to enjoy a full and rich connection with the God who once seemed remote.

As for me, I’ll take me and Jesus any day over any other relationship. For no other friend or foe can ever take away something that is living and permanent.

The grace of the Holy Spirit is always seeking the humble heart, and is always on the lookout for those seeking to liberate themselves from systemic and structural evil in order to do the greatest work of love. Wherever there is desperation, there is where God does His best work of mercy.

Grant to me, Lord, I pray, the spirit to think and do always those things that are right, so that I, who cannot exist without you, may by you be enabled to live according to your will; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Straddling Two Worlds

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

“You are not far from the kingdom of God.” (Mark 12:34)

It really sucks being sick, no matter what the particular illness is.

I realize those may be strange words coming from a tenured and ordained church pastor and hospital chaplain. Nevertheless, it is a truism which far too many people know about intimately.

Yet, there might be something even worse than the devastating effects of one’s own ill health – whether it be cancer or a cold, epilepsy or constipation – and that is the awful grinding reality that someone you love dearly is suffering beyond what you can do for them. If you could take their place, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

And, honestly, many, if not most, people are in one of those situations right this very minute – either needing care or being the caregiver.

As I was walking through my neighborhood last night, as I often do after the day’s sunset, I couldn’t help thinking about all my neighbors inside those lighted rooms. Every single person, I felt and knew in my bones, was going through some sort of illness that’s impeding the quality of their life; or they’re struggling to know how to pray for that friend or loved one who is profoundly ill, wondering what to do, at all.

Debilitating illness is one of those realities of the human condition that appears to be so devilishly odd in a world where billions of people worship God. If there is such a divine Being, where the hell is he!? Why do I feel so helpless?

There is something else for us to contemplate – that we live in a weird space between two worlds. The first world we are quite familiar with – the tangible reality of our five senses. But this other world is a place we are much more unfamiliar with; it has multiple if not millions of senses which we cannot see, hear, feel, taste, or touch with our physical capabilities.

Something inside of us, besides our literal brains, hearts, and guts, existentially knows that deep within us is a soul. I personally don’t care much what you want to call it – spirit, metaphysical awareness, biological wirings, gut feelings, etc. But there is a special place inside of us that is ready-made to connect with that other ethereal world of the spirit and soul.

Let me ask: What makes a young woman with cancer become driven to make a difference in the world, even though she may die tomorrow? Where does the desire bubble-up for a heart patient who could be gone before the day is out to say something of great value that family and friends will forever remember and record?

And what makes you and I get out of bed in the morning, desiring to impact the world in significant ways that makes things better, not worse?

I confess that far too often, in my own ill health, as well as the debilitations of my dear wife, I throw a daily little pity party complete with doll sized cups along with juicy gossip of how others don’t understand.

I rehearse old wounds from the past, wish things were different in the present, and fear for what is to come in the future. O, my friends, you already know this is no way to live a good life.

If we’re going to live with any sort of faith, hope, and love, we will need to recognize our place in-between these two worlds of earth and spirit.

I wish I could tell you that I have it all worked out, that I could give you some short pithy statements of experiential truth which will transform your life experience.

But I don’t.

So, here is what I try my darndest to do ever single day, as a person who seeks to touch both worlds, and who is devoted to the person of Jesus: I surrender to Love. I give myself to what is most important. And when I fail, I let divine forgiveness wash over me.

I luxuriate in the spiritual world’s reality that if somehow I lose myself, I will find Jesus – or rather that Jesus will find me. Love has its own mysterious ways of making the right connections when they need to happen.

I bask in the profound paradox that in renouncing everything I have and everything I am, I gain the greatest possessions in existence – and they are found on that other side, in the spiritual world.

I freely humble myself and resign myself to the words and ways of Jesus – even when they make no sense in the earthly world. “Love your enemy.” Really!? Okay, I’ll give it a go… and it is amazing to always see the results that happen inside of me, and in the other spiritual world, that have little to do with that other person.

The medieval mystics are not popular with a lot of people. I admit Christian mystics are strange people, and have the sort of demands of the Old Testament prophets. But I love them.

One of my favorites, Thomas à Kempis, is insistent that if you lose yourself, you will find Jesus. To resign oneself completely to Jesus, fully and totally without any wavering, is to find the appropriate sweet spot between the two worlds of physical and spiritual. Writing to his young acolytes, Thomas minces no words:

“Let this be the goal of your striving and the object of your prayer, namely, to desire to be stripped of all your belongings, and once naked, that you may be ready to follow the naked Jesus. You must die to yourself to live eternally with me.” (The Imitation of Christ)

Sometimes this happens intentionally, as one longs to connect with the Christ they sense around them. In other ways, much like C.S. Lewis, other people come kicking and screaming to the place between the worlds.

Yet, by whichever means we get there, a place of grace opens to us. From that awkward vantage point – between health and illness – we discover that binary explanations have no place in this realm. Instead, all of us move between the worlds throughout our lives.

And, I would suggest, that the best and most effective way of navigating those worlds is taking the strong advice of both the medieval Thomas and the ancient Jesus. Little do we know how close we are to finding peace and purpose in our upside-down lives:

Now when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, NKJV)

What we truly want and long for is no further than the hospital bed we’re occupying, or any other place we find ourselves in. And, furthermore, the place to find how to help that dear loved one is to journey within ourselves, not without.

If you are like me, you don’t much like limitations. I like the feeling of handling multiple responsibilities and accomplishing them with care and competence. The last thing I want is anything or anyone getting in my way of fulfilling great and meaningful work.

But I have had to learn that my limitations – which grow every day – are actually the key to knowing how to live the Christian life, as well as just plain old life in general.

The more I become aware of my true abilities, accept them, and move with them, the more I see that the world does not spin on the axis of my ability to accomplish anything. And the more dependent I realize I truly am, the more I observe the Christ who has everything under control – even when it seems God is absent.

It is to be expected that God will eventually put us in places of great limitation. Yes,  it will frustrate us in our seeming inability to effect any sort of change to an unjust situation. We just want whatever the offending circumstance is to be exorcised from this world. Yet, it rarely, if ever, happens.

This is not some demented divine game which God is playing on us – to be caught between worlds, and to struggle with all our might to make the best of our situations as people who are both sinner and saint, sick and well, sinister and full of goodness.

No, the nature of our common human condition of hard circumstances as people of faith is meant to strengthen our allegiance and our hope, so that we may be Christians publicly displaying who God is like, and that there is such a thing as truth in the public square.

“…even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now. The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God…” (1 Peter 1:6-7, GW)

It is downright hard trying to straddle between the two worlds of spiritual hope and physical adversity. But it’s necessary, even if we are unable to discern this reality for now. Every small decision of faith made in love with a good heart has immense impact in the universe, although we may never see that great and good consequence this side of heaven.

Living between two worlds will always be difficult. And it requires a level of surrender to God that is scary. Yet we can still be safe, strong, and spiritual; because we are all in this human condition together.

The Severe Mercy of the Easy Yoke (Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
The Burden of Christ, a sculpture of Jesus Christ, in the Oratoire Saint-Joseph, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

“But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another,

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
    we wailed, and you did not mourn.’

“For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds….”

At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition)

Exchanging one yoke for another is really a rather radical act. It is akin to dying to self, so that there can be new life in Christ.

In our anxiety-laden society, filled with multiple fears, worries, and frustrations, we are being invited by Jesus to lay it all down. In other words, every one of us must unequivocably die to self.

Perhaps this might best be illustrated by expressing my own struggle with the pharisaical yoke and the Jesus yoke:

A year-and-a-half ago, I abruptly had to leave my job as a hospital chaplain due to deteriorating health. I am now retired, not because I chose retirement, but because retirement chose me.

So, for the past eighteen months, I have struggled with this reality of no longer being a Chaplain. As hard as I thought and pondered, I’ve gained no understanding as to why I am no longer serving patients, their families, and hospital staff.

What’s more, I have no insight as to why – during my tenure as Chaplain – I experienced an awful time with a gaslighting boss for three of those years. This boss continually made nonsensical decisions, and defied any understanding, even though I sought it out. (I might add that it is super-creepy that the current U.S. President is so eerily like the former boss, as if I’m still under the abuse!).

If I was a good Chaplain doing good work (which I believe I was) then why was I treated so oppressively? Why did my employer turn a blind-eye to it all? Why would God almighty sideline me in such a loathsome health situation. Why must I keep experiencing the awful effects of incompetent political leadership? Why all of the nonsense? It is a terrible yoke for me to carry.

Likely, none of this has to do with me needing to understand any of it. It could be that it is more akin to Abraham being told to sacrifice the son of the promise, Isaac.

It was a completely nonsensical command from God. It defied any sort of understanding on Abraham’s part. And yet he quietly obeyed, with the text of Genesis 22 telling us nothing about any talk-back nor questioning from Abraham. Only obedience. It appears that Abraham was able to exchange yokes, from the oppressive one to the easy one.

In telling Abraham to sacrifice his son, the real death taking place was Abraham’s, not Isaac’s. Abraham was to die to anything that may compete or be likened to some sort of idolatry before God. For even the very good things, like families and jobs, can become idolatrous to us.

I don’t know about your situation, but maybe for me the point is that I must allow the old life to die, and to let a new life grow out of it. Maybe it’s time for a change of yokes. After all, one cannot have a new resurrected life without first experiencing a crucifying death to the old life.

Death is an integral part of life. To exchange yokes is to experience a death. I’ve wanted badly to return to chaplaincy in the hospital. But I am being commanded to sacrifice it on the altar of God. I am being told to die to myself, so that I may live a new life to God.

Any sort of mere earthly hope must die within us, that an unselfish and godly hope may arise anew. And that happens when we deliberately switch-out one yoke for another.

Chaplain Tim, in a way, is dead. I now accept that which is already true of me. It is a death to self. And I am now patiently awaiting my resurrection.

I do not understand this weird liminal space I’m inhabiting; and I need not understand it. I’m deprived of the object of my former job. And so, I let go of it. I will cling no longer to the old life.

What I seem to be currently experiencing is a severe mercy – the mercy from God to not make Christianity wholly understandable, nor boil it down to pharisaical laws of which I can clearly either follow, or not.

Instead, I allow following Christ and taking up his easy yoke to maintain it’s true mystery and grace. If I have died with Christ, I shall also live with him.

Only in hopelessness can we entertain hope. God loves me enough to let me feel the awful severity of Divine nonsense, so that I may experience the real nature of Christ.

I suppose, then, that I am really dead to having to understand everything, and am instead alive to hope. And hope will not disappoint me.

Through dreams and visions, O God, you broaden the horizon and hope of your people, so that they may discover the meaning of your covenant, even in the midst of trial and exile. Increase the number of those who believe in your word so that all people may joyfully respond to your call and share in your promises. Amen.

Life In the Spirit (Romans 8:6-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Art by Randi Ford

The attitude that comes from selfishness leads to death, but the attitude that comes from the Spirit leads to life and peace. So the attitude that comes from selfishness is hostile to God. It doesn’t submit to God’s Law, because it can’t. People who are self-centered aren’t able to please God.

But you aren’t self-centered. Instead you are in the Spirit, if in fact God’s Spirit lives in you. If anyone doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ, they don’t belong to him. If Christ is in you, the Spirit is your life because of God’s righteousness, but the body is dead because of sin. If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your human bodies also, through his Spirit that lives in you. (Common English Bible)

The chapters of Romans 5-8 are a core biblical text for the Christian life. They get down to the fundamental issue of a Christian’s identity and daily practice.

In the mind of the Apostle Paul, all persons are either in the Spirit of God, or not; selfish or unselfish; thinks of the common good of all, or only thinks of oneself and what is best for the individual me.

For Paul, the tell of one being a Christian is to orient one’s life completely around the person and work of Jesus Christ. If not, then one cannot claim to be a Christian, at all.

Regular Bible-readers will notice that I have used the Common English Version’s rendering of the Greek word σάρξ as “selfishness” instead of the literal and often translated English word “flesh.”

My choice highlights the reality that, although “flesh” may make some reference to the physical body, it has much more to do with a person’s holistic expression of sin by means of the mind, emotions, and soul. In other words, “flesh” can be appropriately translated as “selfishness” since it truly takes the whole person to accommodate sin’s desires.

The selfish nature of human individuals (and communities) can take many forms such as the passionate pursuit of material possessions, winning at all costs, unchecked power, and seeking influential positions.

What’s more, this fleshly selfishness is seen in communal ways through extreme promotion of capitalist ideology; hierarchical forms of power which dominate and oppress others; societal norms which keep people locked into class warfare; and exploitation of the earth’s resources for selfish purposes.

Those who are in these sorts of mindsets and social practices cannot please God, because they fundamentally contradict the overarching ethics of Holy Scripture.

We are not to dwell in the realm of selfishness but are to live in and according to the Spirit of Christ. All of this means that every believer has within them a great potential for both good and evil. Even though we have been freed from the realm of sin, the individual (and the community) must actively use this freedom from Christ for good purposes.

Simply avoiding the bad – although quite necessary – will not do. Only focusing on not getting into trouble may easily leave one complicit to evil by not helping when it was in our power to do so. The Lord Jesus avoided a simple skate through his earthly life. He instead sought:

“to preach good news to the poor,
    to proclaim release to the prisoners
    and recovery of sight to the blind,
    to liberate the oppressed,
    and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19, CEB)

These are actions rooted in Old Testament ethical practices. They are socially minded aspirations meant for the common good of all people, and not just some persons.

The Spirit invades our lives in order to unite us to Christ. In him the believer is made righteous, and given new life and hope. Christians now have a real possibility to live according to the words and the ways of Jesus.

We no longer need to “watch out for number one.” The love of God in Christ provides what is necessary to melt the old selfish desires.

We can now remove ourselves from unholy cycles of condemnation toward both others and self.

We can now speak in a manner which encourages and uplifts, rather than use our speech to verbally decapitate another with harsh divisive language.

We can now relate to others with genuine spiritual care, instead of personal disinterest.

And we can take great hope in the fact the work of God in this world is ongoing, because of transformation by divine grace. I need no longer to listen to all the condemning messages emanating from ignorant persons who are quick to make knee jerk judgments on things they know little about.

The Spirit of Christ and the Word of God are more powerful and have greater effectiveness than any other spirit or word that is expressed or spoken. The inner testimony within the individual knows this to be true. The Christian’s identity is firmly in Christ, not in selfishness.

Perhaps it is so hard to live unselfishly because self-surrender to God feels like dying. Often our longings betray the fact that we have forgotten who we are. When that happens, we tend to search for that identity in all the wrong places.

Let’s instead put our effort into the ultimate ethic of love as embodied in the Lord whom we serve – not in idyllic ideas of romance, but in accepting people for who they are, and not what we want them to be.

I’m talking about a love that is present to others and stays with them; sharing my life; putting up with another’s difficulties; seeing things through and plugging away at what I know is right.

Most of the time, living in the Spirit is just a matter of meeting what comes day by day, and persevering with patience through it in the best way I know how.

The love of God in Christ tends not to be the kind that people write stories about, but is simply doing things with a good attitude, a right spirit, and proper motives. If we relate deeply to life and experience both the joy and pain of living on this earth, then I believe we will find that our longings fade into the background.

That’s because I am now living in the realm of the Spirit of love. And when I’m in that zone, there’s no reason to seek anything else, because the Spirit is your life.

God of compassion and consolation, your breath alone brings life to weary souls. Pour out your Spirit upon us, so that we may face despair with the hope of resurrection and faith in Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit are one God, now and forever. Amen.