Tag: hard circumstances

Looking for Mercy (Isaiah 63:15-19)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Divine Mercy, by James Janknegt, 2009

Lord, look down from heaven;
    look from your holy, glorious home, and see us.
Where is the passion and the might
    you used to show on our behalf?
    Where are your mercy and compassion now?
Surely you are still our Father!
    Even if Abraham and Jacob would disown us,
Lord, you would still be our Father.
    You are our Redeemer from ages past.
Lord, why have you allowed us to turn from your path?
    Why have you given us stubborn hearts so we no longer fear you?
Return and help us, for we are your servants,
    the tribes that are your special possession.
How briefly your holy people possessed your holy place,
    and now our enemies have destroyed it.
Sometimes it seems as though we never belonged to you,
    as though we had never been known as your people. (New Living Translation)

Desperation takes many forms – financial straits and grinding poverty; chronic physical challenges; the horrors of war; homelessness which never seems to end; and continual harassment. And that is only a short list of the destruction, death, and grief we have experienced and will encounter in our lives.

The penitent person who looks to God for help and strength through such times faces the possibility of divine disappointment. God’s timetable is not the same as ours, not even close. So, it is understandable that we can become upset with God. It can even appear as though God knows nothing about our situations.

Nevertheless, the penitent believer still prays, still hopes, still insists on faith, and even keeps up a steady stream of loving God by loving the people God created. But none of that means we never question God, never pour out our raw emotions and palpable hurt toward the Lord whom we have known.

The spiritual life has never been one of unending upward ascension toward the divine. Rather, the spiritual life is filled with continual ups and downs; three steps forward and two steps backward; and wondering if the spiritual journey of faith and patience is worth it.

I myself am in one of those ponderous times in which both my physical and mental health are in a place where I can see no way out. It’s as if God has taken his summer vacation somewhere on the other side of the universe, and left me to fend for myself.

Yet, I am one of those stubborn penitent believers who knows better. I have walked with God for nearly 50 years, and I’m not about to let go of faith, hope, and love, just because my life has several adversities and challenges. The truth be told, God owes me not a single thing, and yet, grace, mercy, and peace have been liberally and lovingly given time and time again.

But I admit, I long for those kind of glorious times once again. I’ve seen far too many genuine and unexplainable miracles in my past ministries to ever lose hope or ever believe God isn’t really there. I just don’t know why God is presently aloof, or if I’m too hard-headed to observe all the little graces He’s been tossing my way.

Yet, me, along with the ancient Israelites of old for whom Isaiah prophesied, who have experienced goodness from God, have our times of complaint, as well as penitence.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is filled with prayers and petitions, complaints and laments, confessions of sin, and confidence in the great Yahweh we have served for so long.

These heartfelt petitions are meant to move the passion of God to our deliverance and the meeting of our needs. Remembering the past commitments given by God is like the firewood of prayer we are trying to kindle and bring to full strength and heat.

In difficult circumstances, God seems much more transcendent than immanent. That is, God is understood as high as the heavens, and not so much as close as a friend. The Israelites pleaded with God to just give at least a glimpse toward them – to look down for just a moment so that divine mercy can quickly assess what’s going on.

The Lord is a gracious and compassionate God; it’s not in God’s nature to have no zeal for the ones who are devoted to that divine nature. God is reliable, right!? God will do what is right for us, if God sees what the heck is happening, right!?

The Israelites remind God of the past relationship which was an intimate connection of care and well-being. Father Abraham may have been the original Hebrew, but he isn’t around – Abraham is not God. Just as Abraham counted on God during his earthly life, so the Abrahamic community of Jews are depending on Yahweh for help.

The people knew something was awry, and they were not about to accept that. They want to understand what’s going on, and why they are in such a dire predicament. The Israelites even go so far as to blame God for leading them astray in some way. That’s the level of wondering and hurt they were under.

Charging God with neglect is a bad path forward for anyone. Just because things are bad does not necessarily mean that God is aloof, and that one’s enemies will take advantage of the supposed power vacuum.

It just gives us the sense of hopelessness, anxiety about the present, and worry about what will happen tomorrow. What they, and we, know about God is that without divine help, we are nothing, and going nowhere. So, that’s why we pray so fervently.

Yet, methinks we take ourselves far too seriously, as if the world would crumble without our divine connections. In reality, God doesn’t need us, yet chooses us for loving our neighbors in our world. It’s a privilege. Yet, one with a high cost. Love and mercy are a commission which will take everything from us and out of us to do.

As the people we are, there is a tendency to look for continual divine kudos and the accolades of others for our good work. But to be humbled and overlooked is a good thing, not a bad one. For we are being taught to disdain all the broken systems of this world. If we do that, we shall not continually be grieved, because God is our everything.

We are easy victims of vanity, and really have no reason to give God a list of complaints about how things have shaken out of our favor. Peace – real and sustaining peace – comes not from having everyone like us or get along with us. Peace actually comes from having others despise us, slight us, and have some contempt for us. This is when we become spiritually enlightened and learn to enjoy a full and rich connection with the God who once seemed remote.

As for me, I’ll take me and Jesus any day over any other relationship. For no other friend or foe can ever take away something that is living and permanent.

The grace of the Holy Spirit is always seeking the humble heart, and is always on the lookout for those seeking to liberate themselves from systemic and structural evil in order to do the greatest work of love. Wherever there is desperation, there is where God does His best work of mercy.

Grant to me, Lord, I pray, the spirit to think and do always those things that are right, so that I, who cannot exist without you, may by you be enabled to live according to your will; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Straddling Two Worlds

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

“You are not far from the kingdom of God.” (Mark 12:34)

It really sucks being sick, no matter what the particular illness is.

I realize those may be strange words coming from a tenured and ordained church pastor and hospital chaplain. Nevertheless, it is a truism which far too many people know about intimately.

Yet, there might be something even worse than the devastating effects of one’s own ill health – whether it be cancer or a cold, epilepsy or constipation – and that is the awful grinding reality that someone you love dearly is suffering beyond what you can do for them. If you could take their place, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

And, honestly, many, if not most, people are in one of those situations right this very minute – either needing care or being the caregiver.

As I was walking through my neighborhood last night, as I often do after the day’s sunset, I couldn’t help thinking about all my neighbors inside those lighted rooms. Every single person, I felt and knew in my bones, was going through some sort of illness that’s impeding the quality of their life; or they’re struggling to know how to pray for that friend or loved one who is profoundly ill, wondering what to do, at all.

Debilitating illness is one of those realities of the human condition that appears to be so devilishly odd in a world where billions of people worship God. If there is such a divine Being, where the hell is he!? Why do I feel so helpless?

There is something else for us to contemplate – that we live in a weird space between two worlds. The first world we are quite familiar with – the tangible reality of our five senses. But this other world is a place we are much more unfamiliar with; it has multiple if not millions of senses which we cannot see, hear, feel, taste, or touch with our physical capabilities.

Something inside of us, besides our literal brains, hearts, and guts, existentially knows that deep within us is a soul. I personally don’t care much what you want to call it – spirit, metaphysical awareness, biological wirings, gut feelings, etc. But there is a special place inside of us that is ready-made to connect with that other ethereal world of the spirit and soul.

Let me ask: What makes a young woman with cancer become driven to make a difference in the world, even though she may die tomorrow? Where does the desire bubble-up for a heart patient who could be gone before the day is out to say something of great value that family and friends will forever remember and record?

And what makes you and I get out of bed in the morning, desiring to impact the world in significant ways that makes things better, not worse?

I confess that far too often, in my own ill health, as well as the debilitations of my dear wife, I throw a daily little pity party complete with doll sized cups along with juicy gossip of how others don’t understand.

I rehearse old wounds from the past, wish things were different in the present, and fear for what is to come in the future. O, my friends, you already know this is no way to live a good life.

If we’re going to live with any sort of faith, hope, and love, we will need to recognize our place in-between these two worlds of earth and spirit.

I wish I could tell you that I have it all worked out, that I could give you some short pithy statements of experiential truth which will transform your life experience.

But I don’t.

So, here is what I try my darndest to do ever single day, as a person who seeks to touch both worlds, and who is devoted to the person of Jesus: I surrender to Love. I give myself to what is most important. And when I fail, I let divine forgiveness wash over me.

I luxuriate in the spiritual world’s reality that if somehow I lose myself, I will find Jesus – or rather that Jesus will find me. Love has its own mysterious ways of making the right connections when they need to happen.

I bask in the profound paradox that in renouncing everything I have and everything I am, I gain the greatest possessions in existence – and they are found on that other side, in the spiritual world.

I freely humble myself and resign myself to the words and ways of Jesus – even when they make no sense in the earthly world. “Love your enemy.” Really!? Okay, I’ll give it a go… and it is amazing to always see the results that happen inside of me, and in the other spiritual world, that have little to do with that other person.

The medieval mystics are not popular with a lot of people. I admit Christian mystics are strange people, and have the sort of demands of the Old Testament prophets. But I love them.

One of my favorites, Thomas à Kempis, is insistent that if you lose yourself, you will find Jesus. To resign oneself completely to Jesus, fully and totally without any wavering, is to find the appropriate sweet spot between the two worlds of physical and spiritual. Writing to his young acolytes, Thomas minces no words:

“Let this be the goal of your striving and the object of your prayer, namely, to desire to be stripped of all your belongings, and once naked, that you may be ready to follow the naked Jesus. You must die to yourself to live eternally with me.” (The Imitation of Christ)

Sometimes this happens intentionally, as one longs to connect with the Christ they sense around them. In other ways, much like C.S. Lewis, other people come kicking and screaming to the place between the worlds.

Yet, by whichever means we get there, a place of grace opens to us. From that awkward vantage point – between health and illness – we discover that binary explanations have no place in this realm. Instead, all of us move between the worlds throughout our lives.

And, I would suggest, that the best and most effective way of navigating those worlds is taking the strong advice of both the medieval Thomas and the ancient Jesus. Little do we know how close we are to finding peace and purpose in our upside-down lives:

Now when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, NKJV)

What we truly want and long for is no further than the hospital bed we’re occupying, or any other place we find ourselves in. And, furthermore, the place to find how to help that dear loved one is to journey within ourselves, not without.

If you are like me, you don’t much like limitations. I like the feeling of handling multiple responsibilities and accomplishing them with care and competence. The last thing I want is anything or anyone getting in my way of fulfilling great and meaningful work.

But I have had to learn that my limitations – which grow every day – are actually the key to knowing how to live the Christian life, as well as just plain old life in general.

The more I become aware of my true abilities, accept them, and move with them, the more I see that the world does not spin on the axis of my ability to accomplish anything. And the more dependent I realize I truly am, the more I observe the Christ who has everything under control – even when it seems God is absent.

It is to be expected that God will eventually put us in places of great limitation. Yes,  it will frustrate us in our seeming inability to effect any sort of change to an unjust situation. We just want whatever the offending circumstance is to be exorcised from this world. Yet, it rarely, if ever, happens.

This is not some demented divine game which God is playing on us – to be caught between worlds, and to struggle with all our might to make the best of our situations as people who are both sinner and saint, sick and well, sinister and full of goodness.

No, the nature of our common human condition of hard circumstances as people of faith is meant to strengthen our allegiance and our hope, so that we may be Christians publicly displaying who God is like, and that there is such a thing as truth in the public square.

“…even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now. The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God…” (1 Peter 1:6-7, GW)

It is downright hard trying to straddle between the two worlds of spiritual hope and physical adversity. But it’s necessary, even if we are unable to discern this reality for now. Every small decision of faith made in love with a good heart has immense impact in the universe, although we may never see that great and good consequence this side of heaven.

Living between two worlds will always be difficult. And it requires a level of surrender to God that is scary. Yet we can still be safe, strong, and spiritual; because we are all in this human condition together.

Protest As Faith

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

But when they opposed Paul and became abusive, he shook out his clothes in protest and said to them, “Your blood be on your own heads!” (Acts 18:6)

“Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” (Genesis 32:28)

Deliver us from the evil one. (Matthew 6:13, NIV)

If it looks like terrorism, talks like terrorism, and acts like terrorism, it’s probably terrorism.

I have become exasperated in numerous ways in the past few days – not only from the federally-sponsored terrorism which is presently oppressing and abusing the Twin Cities of Minnesota, but also from some “Christians” who say ungracious and unfeeling statements concerning what is happening in where I presently live.

The greater Minneapolis/St. Paul area is now my home, so that my dear wife and I can be near our middle daughter and her family who reside in south Minneapolis.

At the least, it isn’t helpful to make comments, such as the following, which I have heard multiple times from some “Christians:” “Well, if the leaders and people of Minnesota would just give a little cooperation, then everything would be okay,” and “Don’t you think Minnesota leadership is creating this protest scene to hide fraud investigations?”

At worst, those comments are a projection that put the deportations and deaths of Americans squarely on the actual victims, instead of the real perpetrators. I, for one, will not stand for that sort of attitude and rhetoric, and as it turns out, neither will my fellow Minnesota residents.

Because even the “unbeliever” knows right from wrong and the face of evil when they see it up close and personal.

When I hear blatant lies from federal officials which contradict my own eyes, ears, and experience; and see it coming from persons with a cross dangling from their neck, I begin to better understand the biblical stories of defiant faith in the midst of this present darkness (e.g. Luke 18:1-8).

Maybe such “Christians” would like to explain to my grandchildren why they shouldn’t be afraid when I.C.E. helicopters hover over their home…

Perhaps such professing “believers” would like to try and reassure my 36-year-old Christian white daughter of three children that she is safe and has nothing to worry about…

Maybe such church folk would like to try and console the hundreds of grieving families who lament the injustice done to their loved ones…

Just once, I wish these “Christians” would take seriously the Gospel admonitions to love neighbor, welcome the stranger, and provide for the needy who are near them, no matter who they are and without prejudice. (Matthew 22:39; 25:31-46)

The experience of faux faith from others is what creates the conditions for protest. And I strongly argue that there is such a thing as biblical protest. It can take many forms.

I find myself giving protest to God. Yes, the Lord God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth. And I do so because I believe this is what I am called to do for this time and for this place.

The biblical characters of Job, Abraham, Jacob, and Moses, along with the psalmists and the prophets, all protested God to make things right in the middle of unjust circumstances and victimization.

They all struggled and wrestled with God concerning their respective situations. Yet, they never let go of the Lord and their own faith, holding fast to God’s justice, God’s goodness, and God’s righteousness – trusting God when they don’t understand why and what the heck is going on.

The Lord responded to those struggling believers’ uppity protests in a favorable way (Genesis 18:26-32; Exodus 32:14; Job 42:7). Pleading to God when unjust evil is running amok is to rectify injustice. Keeping silent is to passively accept evil, making one complicit to the injustice.

Believe it or not, God is perfectly fine, and actually likes it, when humans remind God of who God is in God’s very character. Because God is just, right, good, holy, and loving all the time, God’s people fully expect these inherent character qualities of God to work themselves out in practical ways on this earth.

We express the depth of our faith by tenaciously clinging to what we know about God, instead of running from God, or simply relying upon ourselves, doing whatever the heck we want to do, and putting a spiritual veneer over the lies, as if we are really pleasing God.

Furthermore, Christian history is replete with godly protest. For example, Black spirituals, sung by enslaved African-Americans, such as “Wrestle On, Jacob” and “I Will Not Let You Go, My Lord” were forms of pious irreverence against the entire slave system through complaints to God.

For decades I have found the psalms to be my best expression of defiant faith. Along with the psalmist I pray with fervor and flavor:

Rouse yourself! Why do you sleep, O Lord?
    Awake, do not cast us off forever!
Why do you hide your face?
    Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For we sink down to the dust;
    our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up, come to our help.
    Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love. (Psalm 44:23-26, NRSV)

I looked for pity, but there was none;
    and for comforters, but I found none.
They gave me poison for food,
    and for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

Let their table be a trap for them,
    a snare for their allies.
Let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see,
    and make their loins tremble continually.
Pour out your indignation upon them,
    and let your burning anger overtake them.
May their camp be a desolation;
    let no one live in their tents.
For they persecute those whom you have struck down,
    and those whom you have wounded they attack still more.
Add guilt to their guilt;
    may they have no acquittal from you.
Let them be blotted out of the book of the living;
    let them not be enrolled among the righteous.
But I am lowly and in pain;
    let your salvation, O God, protect me.

I will praise the name of God with a song;
    I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
This will please the Lord more than an ox
    or a bull with horns and hoofs.
Let the oppressed see it and be glad;
    you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
For the Lord hears the needy
    and does not despise his own who are in bonds. (Psalm 69:20-33, NRSV)

May the Lord take notice of defiant faith, and bring justice to the nations. Amen.

Be Patient – Third Sunday of Advent (James 5:7-10)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year A1 Comment
Sunset in Montmartre, by Vincent Van Gogh, 1887

Be patient, therefore, brothers and sisters, until the coming of the Lord.

The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You also must be patient.

Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.

Brothers and sisters, do not grumble against one another, so that you may not be judged. See, the Judge is standing at the doors! 

As an example of suffering and patience, brothers and sisters, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. (New Revised Standard Version)

Patience is a wonderful virtue… unless you’re smack in the middle of circumstances you neither want nor asked for. Then, patience feels a whole lot more like a vice.

It’s easy to be impatient; it takes little to no effort at all. And praying for patience doesn’t help, because you’re prayer actually gets answered; God puts you in one of those unwanted situations.

The Jewish Christians for whom the Epistle of James was addressed were in that weird life-place of enduring hard circumstances. They were struggling with impatience, so much that the believers began cozying up to the rich and powerful to meet their ever-increasing needs. In their misery, they were looking to the very people who were using them and withholding wages from them. (James 2:1-7; 5:1-6)

It seemed as if God was shuffling his divine feet and not getting around to helping the Christians in their difficulty. They gave everything to Jesus and following him, to the point of being willing to suffer for the Name.

Their suffering led to outright persecution. The believers had to flee Judea for Gentile lands to the West (Acts 8:1-3). In their new homes they got double-trouble. Because they were Jews, they were looked at with suspicion. And because they were Christians, the Jewish community didn’t accept them. The believers were truly alone. All they had was Jesus.

It was enough, at least for a while. But it’s one thing to face difficulty, and quite another thing for the trouble to bleed into next week, next month, next year… When is this ever going to end?

Impatience doesn’t help. In fact, it only exacerbates an already agonizing situation. Grumbling and arguing and verbal fights begin to occur. The community starts to fracture. Blaming and shaming slowly replace the love and encouragement they once had together.

Every good thing in life takes time – lots of time! And the best things in life require a lifetime of endurance, perseverance, and patience. In order to keep going and hold onto our spiritual commitment, we need solid examples of patience, and reasonable ways to think about our situations.

I admit that it has been hard for me to be patient, as of late. I’m weary of American politics and the current administration. I’m tired of seeing my family members struggle with health issues day after day – many of them having to endure debilitating and heart-wrenching trials.

And there are some days when I’ve just had it with my own limitations. I can’t do many of the things I used to do, and it’s frustrating to tears to try and do some things that others do effortlessly.

Yet the Scripture reminds me of my days growing up on the farm. Planting and harvesting never happened in a week; it takes months to realize a return on all the hard work done through the Spring and Summer to get to Fall’s mature crop.

Peasants Planting Potatoes, by Vincent Van Gogh, 1884

I’m also reminded of the biblical prophets who suffered much for their message to the people. Lately, I’ve been reading the prophecy of Ezekiel in the Old Testament. If you have never read Ezekiel, or only read bits of it, you may not realize how incredibly difficult Ezekiel’s life was in serving Yahweh.

The prophet kept up a steady stream of very challenging situations to illustrate the message of judgment he was continually giving. Needless to say, Ezekiel was not always a popular guy. Proclaiming gloom, doom, and death all day every day tends to do that. In one encounter, for month after month, the prophet laid on his side and had to use excrement to light a fire and cook his food every day. God told him to, so that the people would see what was about to happen to them. (Ezekiel 4:1-17)

We have no record of Ezekiel grumbling or talking back to God. He faithfully did all that the Lord commanded him to say and do. He endured all the grumblers around him, and all the grieving people who had been displaced from their homes in Jerusalem.

In every generation, there are people in this world that undergo difficulties and troubles which others could never even imagine. And it’s been going on for millennia. Furthermore, terrible adversity will keep happening… until Christ returns.

Yes, there will be an end to all the suffering. But we may have to persevere to the end of our lives, remaining faithful to our spiritual commitment, and keeping up our love for one another. It won’t be easy to do.

I would be nothing but a hack preacher if I told you that everything will be bunnies and butterflies if you only look to Jesus and have faith. Although there can be joy, even in our mourning, there will always be the need for an agonizing form of patience that continually watches for help, healing, and hope in the return of Christ.

This is why it is so important not to let your own family, church, and faith community break down into fissures of impatience and grumbling.

We must keep our hearts strong. Ironically and paradoxically, that happens through our weakness.

In some ways, I’m weaker than I’ve ever been in my life. Yet, in other ways, I’ve never been stronger. The Trump administration can break me down and mess with my healthcare and my finances… my illness can keep me from ministry that I long to do… and the daily crud of life may redirect me in ways I don’t like… but I can truly say that God is good; God is the strength of my life.

I know that Christmas is coming. I’m looking for the birth of the Savior. I expect to see the angels rejoicing in the sky. I fully look forward to stepping in a few cow pies and horse apples in order to get a glimpse at the baby who changes the world.

Every good thing in life comes with a bit of manure on the shoes. And the best things in life are worth all the hardship one goes through in order to see the glory and majesty of the Divine.

I may not know you, my friend, but please know that I am praying for you. No matter what happens, I can always pray, always watch, always hope, always believe, and always love my neighbor, despite all the hate in this old fallen world.

Be safe. Be strong. Be spiritual. We are all in this life together.

God of joy and exultation, you strengthen what is weak; you enrich the poor and give hope to those who live in fear. Look upon our needs this day. Make us grateful for the good news of salvation and keep us faithful in your service until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives forever and ever. Amen.