Tag: spiritual struggle

Life Through Death (John 12:20-33)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew, then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain, but if it dies it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say: ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die. (New Revised Standard Version)

The fifth Sunday in Lent is now here. We are quickly approaching Jerusalem. Holy Week will be here before you know it. 

Why is this all significant? Because Jesus is important. By taking advantage of Lent with its focus on spiritual discipline, prayer, and repentance, we come face-to-face with the shadowy parts of our selves. We discover that within us there is the pull to hold-on to unhealthy rhythms and habits of life, as well as a push to arrange our lives with the fragmentation of disordered love.

Perhaps our reflexive response to things we do not like about ourselves is to either use sheer willpower to change or try to somehow manage our brokenness, as if we could boss our way out of darkness. The problem and the solution are much more radical than we often would like to admit.

We must die. 

Yes, you heard that right. This is the teaching of Jesus – to die to ourselves. Sin cannot be managed or willed away – it must be eradicated and completely cut out, like the cancer it is. Transformation can only occur through death. 

Jesus used the familiar example of a seed to communicate his point. A tiny little seed can grow, break the ground, and develop into something which provides sustenance for others. It does no good to remain a seed in the ground.

Christ was only telling others to do, what he himself was willing to do. Jesus is the ultimate example of the one who died to himself, and literally died for us. Through suffering and death, he secured deliverance for us from guilt and shame. 

By his wounds we are healed. Through his tortuous death a resurrection became possible – and we must always remember that there must be a death if there is to be a resurrection. Death always precedes life. There is suffering before glory.

Through dying to self, and following Jesus, there is the hope of transformative change which the world so desperately needs. If we persist in making puny attempts at trying to straddle the fence in dual/rival kingdoms, we will be spiritually schizophrenic and left with a divided soul. 

Following Jesus – leaving all to walk with him – is true repentance and authentic discipleship. The act of journeying with Christ is the means to a new life. Change is possible by letting Jesus Christ be the center from which all of life springs.

Maybe you think I’m being too forceful, too insistent about this Jesus stuff. 

Yes, you have perceived well. I am being quite single-minded about the need for dying to self and living for Christ. 

Somehow, within many corners of Christianity, this wrongheaded notion that suffering is not God’s will has made it into the life of the church. But I’m here to say, on the authority of God’s Holy Word (not to mention your own internal gut and conscience) that dying to ourselves is necessary. And it hurts. The epistle reading for today bears this out:

In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.  Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered; and having been made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him. (Hebrews 5:7-9, NRSV)

Christians are not above their Master. Even Christ’s life on this earth, before his death and resurrection, was marked with suffering. Even Jesus learned obedience through struggle and adversity. Jesus Christ did what he now asks of us. 

The Son gave up himself to do the Father’s will. So, we must give up ourselves in submission to King Jesus.  Jesus offered loud cries and tears, and submitted to what the Father wanted. His followers must do no less. 

We don’t get to choose which parts of Christ’s life and teaching we will adhere to, and which ones we won’t, as if Jesus were some spiritual buffet line. All who live for Jesus, follow him into the path of suffering, of death to self, and of new life through the power of his resurrection.

Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

How do we follow Jesus through dying to self? What does that mean for you and me on a practical daily basis?

Surrender

Every moment of every day is an opportunity for giving ourselves to Jesus. We have hundreds, maybe thousands, of small daily decisions with the use of our time, money, energy, and relationships. 

If we have tried to fix what is broken inside of us, we will likely just try to hastily fix the problems and the people in our lives – and then move on with getting things done on our to do list. 

Instead, there is a need to surrender ourselves – to create the sacred space for solitude and silence, prayer and repentance. 

Take the time to sit with a person in pain and listen. Reflect on how to use your money in a way which mirrors kingdom values. Begin to see your life as a holy rhythm of hearing God and responding to what he says. It takes intentional surrender to do that.

Sacrifice

Holding-on to our precious stuff and time is the opposite of sacrifice. 

Are we truly willing to give-up everything to follow Jesus? 

It is more than true that we are not Jesus. Our sacrifice and suffering are not efficacious, that is, it doesn’t deliver other people from sin. Only Christ’s death does that. Yet, we are still called to sacrifice. The Apostle Paul understood this, with a statement that I’ll let you wrestle with and mull over without comment on my part:

I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am completing what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church. (Colossians 1:24, NRSV)

Happiness is important; but it isn’t the summum bonum of life. There is more to life than living for self. Jesus calls us to see our communities, neighborhoods, and families as a mission field of grace to a world who needs him. That takes sacrificial love on our part.

Christianity is not really a religion that’s for people who have put neat theological answers and tidy packaged certainties to all of life’s questions. 

Rather, Christianity is a dynamic religion of learning to follow Jesus, discovering how to die to self, and struggling to put Christ’s teaching and example into practice. 

Those who don’t struggle are in big trouble. But those who go through the pain of dying to themselves for the sake of their Lord, find that the fruit they harvest leads to eternal life.

May you struggle well, my friend.

Where Is God in My Suffering? (Psalm 22:23-31)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Crucifixion, by Georges Rouault, 1937

“Praise him, you servants of the Lord!
    Honor him, you descendants of Jacob!
    Worship him, you people of Israel!
He does not neglect the poor or ignore their suffering;
    he does not turn away from them,
    but answers when they call for help.”

In the full assembly I will praise you for what you have done;
    in the presence of those who worship you
    I will offer the sacrifices I promised.
The poor will eat as much as they want;
    those who come to the Lord will praise him.
May they prosper forever!

All nations will remember the Lord.
    From every part of the world they will turn to him;
    all races will worship him.
The Lord is king,
    and he rules the nations.

All proud people will bow down to him;
    all mortals will bow down before him.
Future generations will serve him;
    they will speak of the Lord to the coming generation.
People not yet born will be told:
    “The Lord saved his people.” (Good News Translation)

I find that a great deal of truth and reality in this world is something of a mystery and a paradox. Christianity, especially, is a religion of paradox, in my opinion. For example, God is Three – Father, Son, and Spirit – but God is One. Jesus Christ is fully human and fully divine, at the same time, all the time. And when it comes to the spiritual life, suffering exists, and God is sovereign and in control of all things.

This then, is what prompts many people to question if there is really a God – since so much suffering exists throughout the world. Yet, it’s necessary to maintain the tension that hard circumstances, adversity, and difficulty in the form of awful suffering, and the preeminence of the Lord God almighty, both exist without taking anything away from either of them.

The severity of suffering, nor the supreme majesty of God, need to be watered down in any way in order to try and make sense of our existential situations.

“Suffering” is a word we would like to avoid. Even saying or reading the word might make some folks cringe. Suffering? No thanks. I think I’ll pass on that. Yet, something inside of us instinctively knows we cannot get around it. Everyone suffers in some way. It is endemic to the human condition that at times we will suffer physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

That’s why I believe there is so much talk within some Christian circles about miracles. It’s more than understandable:

  • a chronic pain sufferer wants relief, so she prays for a miracle of health
  • a small business owner is bleeding financially, and looks to God for an immediate miracle of wealthy clients
  • a beloved senior saint knows she is afflicted with Alzheimer’s, so she prays for the miracle of deliverance, even to be taken home to be with the Lord
  • a young adult finds himself in the throes of depression and has tried everything to cope and get out of it, so he petitions God for a miracle out of the deep black hole
  • a believer in Jesus keeps experiencing a besetting sin and cannot get over it, so she looks to God for the miracle of not struggling any more with it

These scenarios and a thousand other maladies afflict people everywhere. There are a multitude of stories out there. Folks who have experienced a miracle tell of their wonderful deliverance. But what about the rest? Those without the miracle? Do they have a lack of faith? Has God forgotten them?

Oh, my, no! God sees, and God knows. God is acquainted with suffering. Jesus knows it first-hand. Remember that it was Jesus who said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1; Mark 15:34; Matthew 27:46)

Even Jesus cried out in his suffering. But there was no deliverance coming for him.  There was, however, deliverance coming for us.

Sometimes the greatest miracle and deliverance of all is to be freed from the need for a miracle. The reason God doesn’t just offer immediate relief from everyone’s suffering and bring a divine miracle is that the Lord is doing something else: Walking with us through our suffering. God oftentimes has plans and purposes for us that are well beyond our understanding. 

We simply are not privy to everything in God’s mind.

We may not get the miracle we desire. Yet, what we will get without fail, is God’s provision and steadfast love all the way through the suffering.

Where is God in your suffering? Right beside you. Jesus is suffering with you. You are not crying alone; Christ weeps with you.

Let, then, those who suffer, eat and be full. Let them be satisfied with the portion God has given them. And, what’s more, let them offer praise to the God who is squarely beside them in every affliction and each trouble.

God Almighty, you are the One who knows suffering and affliction better than anyone. I admit I don’t often understand what in the world you are doing or not doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. Yet, I admit that I have found in you the comfort, encouragement, and strength to live another day in my trouble. For this, I praise you, in the Name of Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The Struggle Within (Romans 7:15-25)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (New International Version)

We can relate to the Apostle Paul. We, along with him, have said to ourselves many times, “I don’t understand why I act the way I do. I don’t do what I know is right. I do the things I hate.” 

Paul’s experience of uneasiness, his existential angst because of the struggle within, is a timeless description of our common human condition. There are times we seem completely unable to follow our conscience and do what’s right. It can be maddening, even to the point of experiencing a continual low-level discouragement or depression which underlies almost everything we do.

The prescription for dealing with this mental, emotional, and spiritual malady does not include the law. That’s right. Putting our willpower and effort into obeying commands gets us nowhere. Even if we obey laws and rules and commands for a time, our efforts eventually break down. We fail to do what we want, and end up doing just the opposite.

In all fairness, the law is good, not bad; it just doesn’t have the capacity to transform us. The law’s purpose is to show us how bad off we really are in this world, to give us an awareness of our true condition, so that we will seek help. 

We humans are a bundle of contradictions, doing good, then bad, and flip-flopping back and forth – all with great frustration. In such a miserable condition, what then shall we do? Who will help us? Is there anyone to save us from our plight?

Sheer willpower and obedience will not help us; it won’t work. It will only give us a false hope. Any success in using willpower only deludes one into believing they have the answer… until they yet fall again into the pit of their own inner darkness. But the good news is that there is a Savior, a Redeemer, a Rescuer who has the will and the power to deliver us from our predicament.

The grace of God in Christ is the operative power that changes lives, not the law. Freedom from the tyranny of our “should’s” and our misplaced desires comes from Christ’s forgiveness through the cross. 

Like a lover enamored with his beloved, our desires become oriented toward Jesus for his indescribable gift to us. That is the strength of grace. Transformation is relational; it is found in a person, not a program. And the only person and relationship which has the ability to change us is, I believe with all my heart and mind, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Why? Because I myself have been transformed and changed by such a relationship with Christ. I, along with the hymn writer John Newton, can say, “I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.”

“Self-help” for all the good it really can do, is in many ways an oxymoron. We need a Savior to help us, and we need a community of people who encourage us. And even if we can do it ourselves today, that may not (and eventually will not) be true of us tomorrow. None of you got this far in life on your own – and you will continue to need God and others going forward.

Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good.Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another. Work hard and do not be lazy. Serve the Lord with a heart full of devotion. Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times. Share your belongings with your needy fellow Christians, and open your homes to strangers. (Romans 12:9-13, GNT)

We have an incredible capacity for good and vast internal resources within us. And yet, we too often lack awareness of this reality, for which we can tap into. When it comes to an outright metamorphosis, we need a new heart – and we can no more simply decide to change our lives any more than we can perform heart transplant surgery on ourselves.

People need the Lord.

Whenever the foundation of a house is about to crumble, it won’t do to rearrange the living room furniture and do a bit of spruce up painting. We deceive ourselves if we believe that all our efforts at landscaping the property and having a great curb appeal will do the trick. If the foundation crumbles, and the house implodes, all efforts at curb appeal won’t matter.

Jesus is our cornerstone. Without him, we are at risk, about to fall and without hope. With him, true restoration and renewal happens. And then, when the house is repaired and in order, we set about the task of being good stewards and maintaining and caring for the wonderful changes which were made.

Freedom from a dilapidated soul and misplaced energies to consistent times of peace and contentment, calmness and confidence, satisfaction and settled peace, comes by growing ever closer to the Savior who exudes all those qualities, and more. For the Lord not only saves and delivers; he also sanctifies and encourages.

In Christ, the uneasiness and unsettling experience – the existential angst – becomes a thing of the past because of the grace of merciful deliverance and continual help.

Saving God, I thank you for delivering me from sin, death, and hell through your Son, the Lord Jesus. May your Holy Spirit apply the work of grace to my life every day so that I can realize practical freedom from all that is damaging and destructive in my soul. Amen.

People Are a Bundle of Contradictions (Romans 7:7-20)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
“Contradictions” by Michael Lang, 2015

But I can hear you say, “If the law code was as bad as all that, it’s no better than sin itself.” That’s certainly not true. The law code had a perfectly legitimate function. Without its clear guidelines for right and wrong, moral behavior would be mostly guesswork. Apart from the succinct, surgical command, “You shall not covet,” I could have dressed covetousness up to look like a virtue and ruined my life with it.

Don’t you remember how it was? I do, perfectly well. The law code started out as an excellent piece of work. What happened, though, was that sin found a way to pervert the command into a temptation, making a piece of “forbidden fruit” out of it. The law code, instead of being used to guide me, was used to seduce me. Without all the paraphernalia of the law code, sin looked pretty dull and lifeless, and I went along without paying much attention to it. But once sin got its hands on the law code and decked itself out in all that finery, I was fooled, and fell for it. The very command that was supposed to guide me into life was cleverly used to trip me up, throwing me headlong. So sin was plenty alive, and I was stone dead. But the law code itself is God’s good and common sense, each command sane and holy counsel.

I can already hear your next question: “Does that mean I can’t even trust what is good [that is, the law]? Is good just as dangerous as evil?” No again! Sin simply did what sin is so famous for doing: using the good as a cover to tempt me to do what would finally destroy me. By hiding within God’s good commandment, sin did far more mischief than it could ever have accomplished on its own.

I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (The Message)

“Contradictions in human character are one of its most consistent notes.”

Muriel Sparks, “Loitering with Intent”

The Apostle Paul’s vulnerable expression of his dilemma resonates deeply with many people. There are times when we say things to ourselves such as:

“I told myself I wasn’t going to be like my mother, and here I am responding just like she would.”

“I know better than to drive by the liquor store on my way home and pick up a pint of vodka, yet, I still did it.”

“I don’t want to die, but my thoughts keep racing about a plan for suicide.”

There are many situations in which we are both frustrated and befuddled by doing the things we do not want to do, and not doing the things we want to do.

Yes, indeed, Paul’s existential angst is a timeless description of our common human condition. We all can relate to the seeming inability to do what is right in so many situations. It can drive us nuts, even to a constant and never-ending low-level discouragement that underlies almost everything we do.

Paul’s prescription for dealing with this does not rely on law. He understood that putting our willpower and effort into obeying commands gets us nowhere, because we will eventually fail. Neither our brains nor our spirits work that way. Our willpower was never designed to be the driver of what we do and do not do. If anything, willpower, and the lack thereof, demonstrates just how much we are climbing the ladder on the wrong wall.

People are a bundle of contradictions, doing good, then bad, and flip-flopping back and forth with great frustration.

God’s law was not crafted to transform us from the inside-out. The law has three solid purposes, none of which are meant to bring deep personal transformation:

  1. Attention to the law works to restrain sin in the world
  2. Use of the law provides us with a helpful guide for grateful living in response to divine grace
  3. Reflection on the laws show us how bad off we really are in this world, and how much we are in need of forgiveness

We need a change of habits, and this is different than adopting a list of laws.

Habits are developed from our desires, our affections. In other words, we do what we love – more specifically, our ultimate love(s) drive us to do what we want. To put it in a more straightforward way:

We sin because we like it. And the path to overcoming any besetting sin is to have an ultimate love surpass the lesser sin which we like.

For example, I have developed daily habits or rituals of faith which enable me to commune with God. I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and this ultimate love enables me to push out all competing gods who want my devotion. I also love my wife with all my heart. We work on developing habits of a marital relationship which reinforce our love for each other. Love is what drives me to do right and good by her.

So, what do we do when we mess up? For the Christian, no matter what the question is, the answer is always grace.

God’s grace in the finished work of Jesus Christ applied to us by the Holy Spirit is the operative power that changes lives. The law has no power to do that kind of work. Freedom from the tyranny of our misplaced desires and disordered loves comes from Christ’s forgiveness through the cross. Like a lover enamored with his beloved, our desires become oriented toward Jesus for his indescribable gift to us. That is the strength of grace.

Saving God, I thank you for delivering me from sin, death, and hell through your Son, the Lord Jesus. May your Holy Spirit apply the work of grace to my life every day so that I can realize spiritual healing and practical freedom from all that is damaging and destructive in my soul. Amen.