I cry aloud to God;
    I cry aloud, and he hears me.
In times of trouble I pray to the Lord;
    all night long I lift my hands in prayer,
    but I cannot find comfort.
When I think of God, I sigh;
    when I meditate, I feel discouraged.

He keeps me awake all night;
    I am so worried that I cannot speak.
I think of days gone by
    and remember years of long ago.
I spend the night in deep thought;
    I meditate, and this is what I ask myself:
“Will the Lord always reject us?
    Will he never again be pleased with us?
Has he stopped loving us?
    Does his promise no longer stand?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
    Has anger taken the place of his compassion?”
Then I said, “What hurts me most is this—
    that God is no longer powerful.”

I will remember your great deeds, Lord;
    I will recall the wonders you did in the past.
I will think about all that you have done;
    I will meditate on all your mighty acts.

Everything you do, O God, is holy.
    No god is as great as you.
You are the God who works miracles;
    you showed your might among the nations.
By your power you saved your people,
    the descendants of Jacob and of Joseph.

When the waters saw you, O God, they were afraid,
    and the depths of the sea trembled.
The clouds poured down rain;
    thunder crashed from the sky,
    and lightning flashed in all directions.
The crash of your thunder rolled out,
    and flashes of lightning lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and shook.
You walked through the waves;
    you crossed the deep sea,
    but your footprints could not be seen.
You led your people like a shepherd,
    with Moses and Aaron in charge. (Good News Translation)

I Worry

You and I know what it feels like to be in trouble. We understand the sense, at times, of having our prayers bounce off the ceiling, as if our cries are not heard by heaven. Loneliness and discouragement are palpable. Sleep is elusive. Worries and racing thoughts go round and round in our heads, like some sort of demented NASCAR event.

Swirling around us like a black cloud are all the questions asked without any answers:

• Has God walked off the job? Is the Lord ever coming back? Is God even there? Did the Lord retire from being God?
• Is God angry at me? What have I done to piss him off? Is the Lord fed up with us?
• Is the Lord really a God of love? Did grace run out of steam? Does God hate me?

Then, when the questions go unanswered without any replies, we begin to remember the good old days… when God was a mover and shaker in this messed up world… when the Lord delivered the people from Egyptian bondage… when God pulled people out of the worst kind of troubles….

We continue to reminisce, even recalling that the very elements of the earth were moved by the command of an almighty God: setting aside the Red Sea so that the people were delivered from impending doom… congealing the Jordan River so that the people could cross over into the Promised Land… causing clouds to form and belch out buckets of rain to end droughts in the land… and so much more….

Like a concerned and compassionate shepherd, protecting the sheep and caring for them, God had led the people out of slavery and into freedom, speaking to Moses, delivering people, moving mountains…. Yet, here I lay, hearing and experiencing bupkis from God. *Sigh*

So, what’s a spiritually sensitive person to do?

I and Thou

In 1937, the Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber wrote an insightful book entitled “I and Thou.” Buber postulated how people exist in the world and how they actualize that existence. We engage the world through both monologue and dialogue. For Buber, “all real living is meeting.” In other words, to exist, to live, is to encounter another and relate to a “Thou.” We only have meaning in relationships. We only have our being in God.

The psalmist acknowledges there is a “Thou” besides his distressed “I” – that this Thou will hear, make a difference, and open a way of deliverance… even if it might not happen right away. There are four actions the psalmist decides to do in his distress, actions which put him in a vital dialogue with the divine “Thou”… even if it seems like nothing is happening.

I Pray

Prayer, at its heart, is a dialogue with God. From the place of our spiritual poverty and bankruptcy, we beg; and God gives us the kingdom. To be a spiritual beggar, pleading for our needs to be met, knowing we have no way to repay, is a posture which God delights in.

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (Matthew 5:3, MSG)

I Search

In the I and Thou relationship, the search works both ways.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways….

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:1-2, 23-24, NIV)

I Remember

The psalmist intentionally sought to recall the mighty works of God, especially in delivering the people from slavery and bringing them to the Promised Land. In our forgetfulness, we get lost in our troubles and our perspective becomes skewed. We cannot see beyond the end of our nose. Remembering, however, grants us a fuller picture of what is happening in light of the past. It brings us out of the lonely “I” and into the relationship of “I and Thou.”

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. 

Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10:32-36, NIV)

I Meditate

Pondering and thinking upon God’s deeds enables praise to arise from us. It fosters the I and Thou relationship, bolstering and buoying our faith through life-events which produce our distress.

I lie awake thinking of you,
    meditating on you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
    I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. (Psalm 63:6-7, NLT)

Thou Art Worthy

The psalm ends with no resolution to the personal distress of the psalmist. Whether there is a happy ending, or not, isn’t the point. It’s about the process.

The journey of moving through our troubles causes us to learn as much (or more) from God’s absence than of God’s presence. We learn how to pray, search, remember, and meditate because of and despite our troubles. We learn to relate to God and eventually proclaim that Thou art worthy.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11, KJV)

Amen.