Tag: love one another

Stop Passing Judgment on Each Other (Romans 14:13-5:2)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. (New International Version)

It’s one thing to have opposing views with each other; it’s another thing altogether to pass judgment on the person(s) for whom you have a difference of opinion, practice, or theology.

I once had a man come to me about his daughter. She was getting married, and this father told me he was not going to her wedding. The issue? The father had raised his daughter a Christian, yet she had become a Wiccan and was going to have a pagan ceremony.

What would you do if you were the father? What would you say to him if you were the pastor?

I’m confident what most of my fellow Christian pastors would say – they would affirm the man’s position. Me, however, sensed some judgmentalism emanating from my parishioner. So, I asked him some questions:

What do you know about Wicca?

Why did your daughter convert to being a Wiccan?

Do you have a decent relationship with her?

How much do you love your daughter?

Do you think you could find a way of being with her when she gets married that doesn’t compromise your convictions?

As I asked the questions to the father, it quickly became evident that he was condemning her without a shred of evidence or accurate information to support such a judgment.

He believed that Wiccans were blatant devil worshipers (which they are not). So, I simply invited him to learn some basics of Wicca. I pointed him to some resources that might be helpful for him – ones that I believed he could be okay with reading. (Note: The resources were not written by Christians. If one wants to know what a particular group or individual believes, then you must go to the source)

The man had no idea why his daughter turned Wiccan. It turns out, he had never even asked her, or was at all curious as to why she would make such a different religious decision from her upbringing. I simply suggested that he just ask her, then not talk, and listen to the answer.

This father had an estranged relationship with his daughter because he had pulled away from her. She had actually continued to try and remain connected to her dad. But the man thought he was doing the right thing by ostracizing her and refusing to go to her wedding. He believed he needed a separation, to both teach her a lesson and to keep away from evil.

My parishioner, whom I had never seen cry, did so when I asked if he loved his daughter. The problem was that she didn’t know that.

There was a lot of internal struggle with the man in the next weeks and months. To his credit, he took me up on learning about his daughter and connecting with her, rather than cutting her off. And he ended up attending her wedding, albeit in the very back of the gathering.

The father discovered a lot of things he didn’t know, things which he made assumptions about in the past which were untrue and unfounded. He and his daughter’s relationship didn’t change overnight, but they were in a much better position than when the man first came to see me.

So, here is my question for you, my friend: If a Christian and a Wiccan can find a way to be together and love one another, despite their religious views and practices, then how much more can we, as Christians together, find ways to connect with each other, love one another, and stop passing judgment on the other?

It’s time for us to make up our minds and settle in our hearts whether we are going to create separations with other people, or whether we are going do what we can to foster relational connections with others.

Perhaps if we seek to embody today’s New Testament lesson, the ripple effect might just change the world.

O Holy God, we know we have fallen short.
We turn our backs when we could embrace.
We remain silent when we could speak.
We speak when we could listen.
We judge when we could seek understanding.
We cling when we could give.
Forgive us, O God, for focusing solely on ourselves and help us to continue to grow into the people you created us to be, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Love for Others (Romans 13:8-14)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. (New International Version)

The first eleven chapters of Paul’s letter to the Roman Church focuses on the nature of the gospel, that is, the good news of God’s unconditional love for us in Christ.  In order to love others, we must first grasp the truth that God loves you as if you were the only person on earth. 

The Father’s mercy and kindness reached to such a length as to send the Son to woo people in love back to God. It is through Christ’s life, death, resurrection, ascension and glorification that there is forgiveness of sins and new life for those who, by faith, trust in Jesus for deliverance.

This is what the Bible calls “grace.”  It is a steadfast committed love that seeks out others for no other reason than that they need help.  And this is both the foundation and the motivation for Christian love. It is always open season on love.

Whenever you see the phrase “one another” in the New Testament, it is talking about fellow Christians. And whenever there is the phrase “the other,” “others,” or “fellowman,” the Bible is talking about outsiders, that is, non-believers. 

Therefore, Paul’s vision for the church is that it should love all people, without exception.  So, we need to do away with any kind of notion of the church being like a country club that caters to members who pay their dues. Instead, let’s stick with biblical metaphors for Christians such as being light instead of dark; or wearing clean clothes instead of dirty clothes, meaning to live holy lives in order to exhibit a holy love toward outsiders.

We know we are supposed to love; this is not a new message. None of us will walk away saying, “Well, that was new! I’ll be! The Bible actually says I am supposed to love other people!” Yet, at the same time, we all know there is a lack of love in this old fallen world, and sometimes even in Christ’s church. 

When author John Shore did research for a book titled, I’m OK – You’re Not: The Message We’re Sending Non-Believers Toward Christianity, to his surprise the over-and-above response he got from those outside of the faith was, “Why do Christians hate us so much?”

Over the past several years I have actually “de-friended” several of my brothers and sisters in the faith from Facebook because their postings were so often filled with hate toward “the other.” Feeling justified to hate another person does not come from the New Testament Scriptures. We, as Christians, owe the world our love, not our hate. 

Everyone needs a friend. Everybody needs relationships. All people are created in the image of God and, therefore, deserve the dignity of conversation and relationship rather than being looked at as a “project” or overlooked just because they are different or don’t fit in. 

According to Paul’s message, we cannot really love one another in the church or love the other if we continually indulge our old sinful nature. Like wearing a set of dirty clothes, we are to take off our selfish sinful desires, and put on the new clean clothes of God’s love in Christ. If we are giving love, then there is no room to give dissension or jealousy. If we commit to exercising our spiritual gifts, given by God, there is not enough time in the day to think about how to gratify our sinful impulses.

In loving our neighbor, we won’t break any commandments concerning murder, theft, adultery, coveting, lying, or dishonoring anyone. In other words, we won’t do anything unloving. This is not a matter of gritting our teeth and pushing ourselves to accomplish love by trying harder. Rather, it’s a matter of receiving love so that we can give love. 

We are to be in a continual rhythm of life that receives and gives. Giving without receiving is a one way road to burnout and leads to an inability to love; receiving without giving is to stockpile grace and results in unloving words and actions.

Another potential hindrance to a life of love has to do with the law or keeping the rules. The law is good; yet, law has its limits – it cannot change a life; only love can do that. The law must serve love of God and neighbor, and not the other way around. The law must bow to the demands of love. 

In Charles Dickens’ classic, A Christmas Carol, Ebeneezer Scrooge was a law-abiding citizen, and when faced with the needs of those less fortunate, old Scrooge appealed to the law. He saw no need for loving actions or loving words when there were already poor houses, relief organizations, and prisons in operation. It’s like saying today that I am a tax-paying, law-abiding citizen and have no obligation to the other. 

This brings us back to relationships. It’s easy to say people need to work harder and not be lazy when we are not in a relationship with anyone who is in need. Furthermore, it can be easy to indulge our sinful nature when we believe that we have earned the right through our law-abiding selves to speak ill of “the other,” and even to a brother or sister in Christ.

Paul’s response to this attitude is instilling a sense of urgency to love. The Day of the Lord is much nearer now than it was when Paul penned these words! God will not settle for anything less than the transformation of the world. Instead of giving us a three-ring binder full of organizational charts for how to change the world, Paul saw that nothing will ever change without basic human kindness and a concern of relating in love to others. 

Our task, as followers of Christ, is to engage in the tedious and patient construction of souls through loving words and actions over an extended period of time. We need to take a sort of Christian Hippocratic Oath: To do no harm to our neighbor, but to do everything within our power to love them. Paul’s vision for us is to love one another in the church; and, to love others in the world.

Within the Roman church, there were both Jews and Gentiles. They were to love one another. Paul wanted the Jews to get out of their exclusive Jewish-only group and love Gentiles; he wanted Gentiles to get out of their Gentile-only ghetto and love Jews. They were to have a shared vision together of loving each other so that they could collectively love others in the city of Rome. 

One of the reasons this was so hard for them, is that they had differing understandings of how to live the Christian life and how to worship together. The only way they could overcome their obstacles was by understanding each other by interacting and listening to one another. More than that, Paul wanted them to champion each other, to encourage one another by letting go of their personal preferences. In this way, they had a better chance at loving each other, and thus, loving the surrounding culture.

Genuine love does not meet needs in order to get something back from the other. True Christian love seeks the other’s best interests, just because God has shown unconditional love to us. Whenever we keep thinking about what others can do for us, we are not operating out of the reserves of grace that God first showed us. But if we consistently receive love from God, we can then give love to others.

When growing up, our moms would say to us that if there is a kid on the playground playing by him/herself, go play with that kid; and, if you see a kid getting bullied or picked on, stand up for that kid. Those two pieces of parental wisdom can serve the church well. When we see lonely people, or even groups who are by themselves, go interact with them and love them. When we see individuals or particular groups of people getting bullied, stand up for them.

Our guiding principle is love. The hour has come to wake up and have eyes to see the people all around us in need of grace so that we can be long on the love of God, deep in our love for each other, and wide on love for others in the world.

Lord God, make us instruments of your love. Help us see every circumstance as an opportunity to grow in love. May we then take this love to others through being patient, kind, gentle, blessing instead of cursing, and quick to forgive. May we take no pleasure in criticizing others, but in being gracious, as is our Lord Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen.

Walk in the Way of Love (Ephesians 5:1-6)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. (New International Version)

You are loved. There may not be a lot of things I know, and much of life might be a mystery with few answers, yet the one unshakable truth I have absolutely no doubt about is that you and I are loved by a good and loving God.

Humanity is loved and is therefore meant to love one another as the ultimate rule and guide of life.

Just as God loves, so we are to do the same. We are to mimic divine love in our daily lives. The healthiest of relationships are characterized by a continual dynamic of giving love and receiving love.

Whenever love fails to be the basic rule of life, people are exposed to the gravity of God’s wrath – which exists as the extension of God’s love, in order to put a stop to unloving words and actions in the world.

Unfortunately, as a hospital chaplain and church pastor, I daily see the sad effects of individuals who have experienced a paucity of love and, so, have taken on a false self to try and find love in all the wrong places – with damaging consequences.

Three inappropriate unloving ways of acting are mentioned in today’s New Testament lesson:

  • Sexual immorality is the illegitimate attempt to get the legitimate need for erotic love met without any strings attached. It is a misguided belief that one-night stands and clandestine trysts will protect against being too committed to another and getting hurt.
  • Impurity is any other illicit, illegal, or improper kind of behavior toward others which tries to do the same thing as immorality: Seeking to meet legitimate needs in an illegitimate way – to turn a trick for love, trying to avoid emotional, spiritual, or even physical pain.
  • Greed is an insatiable pursuit of addictive behavior meant to numb or stuff all the unwanted emotions which reside deep in the soul because of engaging in the immoral or impure actions.

Three inappropriate unloving words of speaking are mentioned:

  • Obscenity is filthy speech which is a cover for the agonizing unmet needs of love deep within the human heart. Obscene words are nothing more than verbal sexual immorality. They are a twisted attempt at trying to give and get loving words in an illicit manner.
  • Foolish talk, much like impurity, is any other illicit or improper words crafted to manipulate or cajole another. It is the hustle for love. The original Greek word means literally “to talk like a moron,” that is, a person who lacks sound judgment.
  • Coarse joking is crude and addictive speech, much like greed, envy, and coveting, which verbally trolls for love without unveiling any real feelings.

The antidote to all these baseless actions and distasteful words is to realize the true self, created by God, through receiving the love of God and of others with thanksgiving. Within genuine loving relationships, people can express their legitimate needs to each other and satisfy one another. Yet, with the false self, there is secrecy, hiding, and massive amounts of shame.

Love opens us to all that is good and beautiful. Love also opens us to the possibility of devastating hurt and loss. It is when we try to obtain the good and beautiful, while trying to build walls of protection against potential pain, that we get in trouble. The sinister tools we must use to try and get that impossible job done are manipulation and control with both verbal and physical immorality.

There is no true and authentic love apart from openness and vulnerability. Cheap imitations of love will only lead to hopeless despair.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis

The way of love is the way of Christ. Imitating his example of a holy life, compassionate service, helpful speech, and healing actions – with a humble heart of gratitude – is to be our guide, rule, and direction in life. It is to realize our true selves and nudge the world just a bit closer back to Eden.

O Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ your Son our God, give us the love which never ceases so that our hearts will be enlightened and always burning with holy passion for the common good of all.

O Christ, our loving Savior, set our souls aflame so that they may shine brightly with the warmth and glow of unquenchable divine love, and lessen the darkness of the world. Lord Jesus, we pray, give us the light of your love so that we might always see you, desire you, look on you in love, and long after you.

Blessed Holy Spirit, send the fire of your love and empower us for loving service so that we may emulate and follow the example of our loving Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Imitate the Right Use of Power (1 Corinthians 4:14-20)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.

Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you. But I will come to you very soon, if the Lord is willing, and then I will find out not only how these arrogant people are talking, but what power they have. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. (New International Version)

We need to talk about power.

And we need solid sacred examples of how to wield power rightly and justly.

Power is a lot like sex. Everyone wants it, but not everyone respects it and uses it well.

Humanity was created by God to exercise power. True human power has always been intended by our Creator as a means of giving love to others. Wherever you find love being extended by people in power to the powerless, there you will see that it works.

Yet, here’s the rub for many of us: This godly use of power may not (and likely will not) achieve instant results. That’s probably why we so often associate humanity’s possession of power with threats, bullying, and violence – because they usually work to get the immediate results of obtaining power and keeping others in subservience to that power.

The right use of power rarely gets rolled out smoothy without any wrinkles to it. Instead, wielding power through love makes its way by means of suffering. It comes from the humble servants like Mother Teresa, and from those who could throw their weight around, but instead choose to use their influence for self-giving love.

This sort of just and right authority is realized when we are aware of our own weaknesses and failures. Believing that “might=right” is merely a prescription for working out our own complexes on other people; it will only result in extending hate, not love, when others resist our authority.

The ones who hold true power are those who know they are unworthy of it, and incapable of using it without humility and divine help. Real power is like a shepherd looking after a flock of sheep – and not like pulling out a sword to kill the bad guys when they come to challenge authority.

Believers everywhere need awareness that the Christian message offers a profound reversal of what we think we know about power. All signs of real power lead us to the foot of the cross. National governments seems to think that power must be both achieved and sustained by the threat of violence. But the power of God’s kingdom is exercised through giving, serving, and loving.

And it is that sort of power which transforms the world in ways that probably won’t make headlines on the nightly news. The power of Christ is passed on throughout the generations of believers – learned by imitating people, like the Apostle Paul, who demonstrated humble service, instead of arrogant authority.

Faith is passed from person to person; and not just handed down from individuals reading their bibles in seclusion. Power and authority are given to those who are capable of handling it with justice and righteousness.

“You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.”

The Apostle Paul to his protégé Timothy (2 Timothy 2:2, NLT)

Christians learn from leaders how the faith is lived out, and how power is used, by imitating what they see and hear. Therefore, an important question is this: Who do I imitate?

“Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example.”

The Apostle Paul to the Philippian Church (Philippians 3:17, NLT)

Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance. (Hebrews 6:11-12, NLT)

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. (Hebrews 13:7, NLT)

Those who hold authority and power in the Christian Church must exemplify a proven character of persevering love in the face of pain and suffering. Such persons, having shown humility through it all, are worthy to imitate.

This does not necessarily mean that we emulate those who eruditely speak the Word of God, have superior gifts and abilities, and enjoy success in ministry. It does mean that we ought to imitate, and have as mentors, those persons who imitate Christ and are not self-promoting peacocks who go after being admired and praised.

A cocky Christian leader who has not focused on suffering love, and who has not experienced the purgative fiery trials of this life, may easily become seduced by their own importance. However, leaders who have seen their share of hard circumstances, pain, and suffering, and have come through it loving God and serving others out of grace and humility, are leaders worth imitating. 

Character shapes power, and never the other way around.

God of unchangeable and unending power: Look with mercy on your Church everywhere, and carry out your good and loving purposes through us your people. We trust that your power and love will have it’s way in this old fallen world – and that your plan of salvation shall be carried out, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in the strength of the Holy Spirit. Amen.