Tag: hope

Straddling Two Worlds

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

“You are not far from the kingdom of God.” (Mark 12:34)

It really sucks being sick, no matter what the particular illness is.

I realize those may be strange words coming from a tenured and ordained church pastor and hospital chaplain. Nevertheless, it is a truism which far too many people know about intimately.

Yet, there might be something even worse than the devastating effects of one’s own ill health – whether it be cancer or a cold, epilepsy or constipation – and that is the awful grinding reality that someone you love dearly is suffering beyond what you can do for them. If you could take their place, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

And, honestly, many, if not most, people are in one of those situations right this very minute – either needing care or being the caregiver.

As I was walking through my neighborhood last night, as I often do after the day’s sunset, I couldn’t help thinking about all my neighbors inside those lighted rooms. Every single person, I felt and knew in my bones, was going through some sort of illness that’s impeding the quality of their life; or they’re struggling to know how to pray for that friend or loved one who is profoundly ill, wondering what to do, at all.

Debilitating illness is one of those realities of the human condition that appears to be so devilishly odd in a world where billions of people worship God. If there is such a divine Being, where the hell is he!? Why do I feel so helpless?

There is something else for us to contemplate – that we live in a weird space between two worlds. The first world we are quite familiar with – the tangible reality of our five senses. But this other world is a place we are much more unfamiliar with; it has multiple if not millions of senses which we cannot see, hear, feel, taste, or touch with our physical capabilities.

Something inside of us, besides our literal brains, hearts, and guts, existentially knows that deep within us is a soul. I personally don’t care much what you want to call it – spirit, metaphysical awareness, biological wirings, gut feelings, etc. But there is a special place inside of us that is ready-made to connect with that other ethereal world of the spirit and soul.

Let me ask: What makes a young woman with cancer become driven to make a difference in the world, even though she may die tomorrow? Where does the desire bubble-up for a heart patient who could be gone before the day is out to say something of great value that family and friends will forever remember and record?

And what makes you and I get out of bed in the morning, desiring to impact the world in significant ways that makes things better, not worse?

I confess that far too often, in my own ill health, as well as the debilitations of my dear wife, I throw a daily little pity party complete with doll sized cups along with juicy gossip of how others don’t understand.

I rehearse old wounds from the past, wish things were different in the present, and fear for what is to come in the future. O, my friends, you already know this is no way to live a good life.

If we’re going to live with any sort of faith, hope, and love, we will need to recognize our place in-between these two worlds of earth and spirit.

I wish I could tell you that I have it all worked out, that I could give you some short pithy statements of experiential truth which will transform your life experience.

But I don’t.

So, here is what I try my darndest to do ever single day, as a person who seeks to touch both worlds, and who is devoted to the person of Jesus: I surrender to Love. I give myself to what is most important. And when I fail, I let divine forgiveness wash over me.

I luxuriate in the spiritual world’s reality that if somehow I lose myself, I will find Jesus – or rather that Jesus will find me. Love has its own mysterious ways of making the right connections when they need to happen.

I bask in the profound paradox that in renouncing everything I have and everything I am, I gain the greatest possessions in existence – and they are found on that other side, in the spiritual world.

I freely humble myself and resign myself to the words and ways of Jesus – even when they make no sense in the earthly world. “Love your enemy.” Really!? Okay, I’ll give it a go… and it is amazing to always see the results that happen inside of me, and in the other spiritual world, that have little to do with that other person.

The medieval mystics are not popular with a lot of people. I admit Christian mystics are strange people, and have the sort of demands of the Old Testament prophets. But I love them.

One of my favorites, Thomas à Kempis, is insistent that if you lose yourself, you will find Jesus. To resign oneself completely to Jesus, fully and totally without any wavering, is to find the appropriate sweet spot between the two worlds of physical and spiritual. Writing to his young acolytes, Thomas minces no words:

“Let this be the goal of your striving and the object of your prayer, namely, to desire to be stripped of all your belongings, and once naked, that you may be ready to follow the naked Jesus. You must die to yourself to live eternally with me.” (The Imitation of Christ)

Sometimes this happens intentionally, as one longs to connect with the Christ they sense around them. In other ways, much like C.S. Lewis, other people come kicking and screaming to the place between the worlds.

Yet, by whichever means we get there, a place of grace opens to us. From that awkward vantage point – between health and illness – we discover that binary explanations have no place in this realm. Instead, all of us move between the worlds throughout our lives.

And, I would suggest, that the best and most effective way of navigating those worlds is taking the strong advice of both the medieval Thomas and the ancient Jesus. Little do we know how close we are to finding peace and purpose in our upside-down lives:

Now when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, NKJV)

What we truly want and long for is no further than the hospital bed we’re occupying, or any other place we find ourselves in. And, furthermore, the place to find how to help that dear loved one is to journey within ourselves, not without.

If you are like me, you don’t much like limitations. I like the feeling of handling multiple responsibilities and accomplishing them with care and competence. The last thing I want is anything or anyone getting in my way of fulfilling great and meaningful work.

But I have had to learn that my limitations – which grow every day – are actually the key to knowing how to live the Christian life, as well as just plain old life in general.

The more I become aware of my true abilities, accept them, and move with them, the more I see that the world does not spin on the axis of my ability to accomplish anything. And the more dependent I realize I truly am, the more I observe the Christ who has everything under control – even when it seems God is absent.

It is to be expected that God will eventually put us in places of great limitation. Yes,  it will frustrate us in our seeming inability to effect any sort of change to an unjust situation. We just want whatever the offending circumstance is to be exorcised from this world. Yet, it rarely, if ever, happens.

This is not some demented divine game which God is playing on us – to be caught between worlds, and to struggle with all our might to make the best of our situations as people who are both sinner and saint, sick and well, sinister and full of goodness.

No, the nature of our common human condition of hard circumstances as people of faith is meant to strengthen our allegiance and our hope, so that we may be Christians publicly displaying who God is like, and that there is such a thing as truth in the public square.

“…even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now. The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God…” (1 Peter 1:6-7, GW)

It is downright hard trying to straddle between the two worlds of spiritual hope and physical adversity. But it’s necessary, even if we are unable to discern this reality for now. Every small decision of faith made in love with a good heart has immense impact in the universe, although we may never see that great and good consequence this side of heaven.

Living between two worlds will always be difficult. And it requires a level of surrender to God that is scary. Yet we can still be safe, strong, and spiritual; because we are all in this human condition together.

The Severe Mercy of the Easy Yoke (Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
The Burden of Christ, a sculpture of Jesus Christ, in the Oratoire Saint-Joseph, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

“But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another,

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
    we wailed, and you did not mourn.’

“For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds….”

At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition)

Exchanging one yoke for another is really a rather radical act. It is akin to dying to self, so that there can be new life in Christ.

In our anxiety-laden society, filled with multiple fears, worries, and frustrations, we are being invited by Jesus to lay it all down. In other words, every one of us must unequivocably die to self.

Perhaps this might best be illustrated by expressing my own struggle with the pharisaical yoke and the Jesus yoke:

A year-and-a-half ago, I abruptly had to leave my job as a hospital chaplain due to deteriorating health. I am now retired, not because I chose retirement, but because retirement chose me.

So, for the past eighteen months, I have struggled with this reality of no longer being a Chaplain. As hard as I thought and pondered, I’ve gained no understanding as to why I am no longer serving patients, their families, and hospital staff.

What’s more, I have no insight as to why – during my tenure as Chaplain – I experienced an awful time with a gaslighting boss for three of those years. This boss continually made nonsensical decisions, and defied any understanding, even though I sought it out. (I might add that it is super-creepy that the current U.S. President is so eerily like the former boss, as if I’m still under the abuse!).

If I was a good Chaplain doing good work (which I believe I was) then why was I treated so oppressively? Why did my employer turn a blind-eye to it all? Why would God almighty sideline me in such a loathsome health situation. Why must I keep experiencing the awful effects of incompetent political leadership? Why all of the nonsense? It is a terrible yoke for me to carry.

Likely, none of this has to do with me needing to understand any of it. It could be that it is more akin to Abraham being told to sacrifice the son of the promise, Isaac.

It was a completely nonsensical command from God. It defied any sort of understanding on Abraham’s part. And yet he quietly obeyed, with the text of Genesis 22 telling us nothing about any talk-back nor questioning from Abraham. Only obedience. It appears that Abraham was able to exchange yokes, from the oppressive one to the easy one.

In telling Abraham to sacrifice his son, the real death taking place was Abraham’s, not Isaac’s. Abraham was to die to anything that may compete or be likened to some sort of idolatry before God. For even the very good things, like families and jobs, can become idolatrous to us.

I don’t know about your situation, but maybe for me the point is that I must allow the old life to die, and to let a new life grow out of it. Maybe it’s time for a change of yokes. After all, one cannot have a new resurrected life without first experiencing a crucifying death to the old life.

Death is an integral part of life. To exchange yokes is to experience a death. I’ve wanted badly to return to chaplaincy in the hospital. But I am being commanded to sacrifice it on the altar of God. I am being told to die to myself, so that I may live a new life to God.

Any sort of mere earthly hope must die within us, that an unselfish and godly hope may arise anew. And that happens when we deliberately switch-out one yoke for another.

Chaplain Tim, in a way, is dead. I now accept that which is already true of me. It is a death to self. And I am now patiently awaiting my resurrection.

I do not understand this weird liminal space I’m inhabiting; and I need not understand it. I’m deprived of the object of my former job. And so, I let go of it. I will cling no longer to the old life.

What I seem to be currently experiencing is a severe mercy – the mercy from God to not make Christianity wholly understandable, nor boil it down to pharisaical laws of which I can clearly either follow, or not.

Instead, I allow following Christ and taking up his easy yoke to maintain it’s true mystery and grace. If I have died with Christ, I shall also live with him.

Only in hopelessness can we entertain hope. God loves me enough to let me feel the awful severity of Divine nonsense, so that I may experience the real nature of Christ.

I suppose, then, that I am really dead to having to understand everything, and am instead alive to hope. And hope will not disappoint me.

Through dreams and visions, O God, you broaden the horizon and hope of your people, so that they may discover the meaning of your covenant, even in the midst of trial and exile. Increase the number of those who believe in your word so that all people may joyfully respond to your call and share in your promises. Amen.

Already Justified and Accepted (Romans 5:1-8)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Crucifixion, by Natalya Rusetska

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. (New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition)

Perhaps we have so many people filled with shame and regret today over their past poor decisions and the trajectory their lives, because there is such a profound lack of hope in the world.

Becoming confident in both the unseen realities and the stated promises of God can melt away both personal and corporate shame.

Long ago, the Apostle Paul reminded the Roman Church of their true standing before the God of all. Paul knew that if the people were secure in their identity, then resilience would arise; and if resilience rises, then a robust Christian character and identity will take root. Hope then becomes a central part of life.

Notice that the Apostle made it clear what is true of believers: They are justified, possessing the justification of God. In other words, the Christians have no reason to try and justify themselves to others (or to God) because they already have been justified by God.

There is great freedom in feeling no compunction whatsoever to prove oneself. Followers of Jesus Christ need not prove themselves, spending all sorts of social capital attempting to please others, out of some perceived need to demonstrate who they are.

If you want others to know who you are and what kind of God you serve, then know thyself, instead of constantly putting your finger to the wind in order to gauge which way the prevailing winds of society are blowing so that you can follow it.

In truth, all you need is the wind of the Spirit to carry you on into doing God’s will from a merciful, pure, and peaceful heart.

Since we are already justified, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Things are good between us and God. Not only do we have no need to prove ourselves to the world, but we especially have also absolutely no reason to try and prove ourselves to God.

The Lord already knows the score of everyone’s life. It is a silly venture to put on airs before the Sovereign of the universe, as if God must be convinced to love us and have our backs.

The grace of God is abundant and ever-present; grace is continually available. And there are no exceptions to this. One is never too far from God or too estranged from the good in order to receive the mercy of God.

God’s love has been already poured into our hearts. God is with us; divine love is intimately close to us. Rather than wondering or vacillating between whether God loves me or God loves me not, the objective spiritual reality of the moment is that you and I are surrounded by the God who rejoices over us.

The Lord your God is with you.
He is a hero who saves you.
He happily rejoices over you,
renews you with his love,
and celebrates over you with shouts of joy. (Zechariah 3:17, GW)

What’s more, God does not wait for anyone to get their lives straightened out before paying gracious attention to them. No, while we were still stuck in the darkness of our bad and misguided ways, Christ died for us. Jesus Christ died for the ungodly while they were still going on in their own selfish and oppressive way.

That, my friend, is the extent to which God’s love reaches. There is no pit too deep, no meanness too great, nor any unrighteous life too bad that God cannot reach the long divine arm of mercy and love into the muck, and snatch us out of a depressing existence.

And the world is not too filthy rotten that God is unable to cut through the filth. As far as the Lord is concerned, the earth is presently just a compost pile that will eventually become transformed from garbage to fertilizer for new life, in which love can grow, thrive, and flourish across this world.

Unhindered access to God has been granted to us.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16, NIV)

We now have the hope and the freedom to be active spiritual farmers who carefully and pastorally care for all creation by spreading the seeds of God’s love to the world.

Everything we have and all that we are, comes from the grace, mercy, and love of God. Therefore, we have no reason to boast in and of ourselves, but to boast extravagantly in what Christ has done for us. He has bought and brought  deliverance from all which hindered us from living a loving and hopeful life.

So then, the path to true self-acceptance comes from knowing that we are already accepted by God.

The very core of our identity is in the Creator, Savior, and Sustainer. Since we possess God’s love and acceptance, there is never a need for subjective feelings of trying to gin-up a sense of self-acceptance. You and I already have it. You are profoundly loved.

This, then, is the basis for peace and rest. Please understand that it is quite possible that later today or tomorrow or next week you will again feel unworthy of God’s love, unaccepted by God and others, and nervous to the point of peace becoming a bygone wish.

None of this, however, erases what is already real and true of you, or changes your identity in any way. You are still in the hollow of God’s hand; still the apple of God’s eye; and still in a place where there is no need to justify yourself. What there is, however, is abundant grace.

No matter how we are doing, feeling, or believing, there is always open access to God because of Jesus Christ.

The ground of our confidence allows us to view tribulations as opportunities for spiritual growth; and patient waiting as the privilege to hope in what is yet to come. I will yet see the glory of God face to face.

God in Christ has done for us what we could not do for ourselves. The Lord has granted us faith, and gifted us with a fresh new allegiance. Through recognition of our helpless state, and our distance from God (including a nasty tendency to ignore God) we discover that the love of God is with us. So, we may rely completely on the divine initiative of the love which never wavers.

In this state, guilt, shame, and regret is left in the dust – replaced by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Loving God, open our ears to hear your Word, and draw us closer to You, so that the whole world may be one with you as you are one with us in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Called To a Way of Being – Fourth Sunday of Advent (Romans 1:1-7)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy scriptures, the gospel concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh and was declared to be Son of God with power according to the spirit of holiness by resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the gentiles for the sake of his name, including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ,

To all God’s beloved in Rome, who are called to be saints:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (New Revised Standard Version)

To be a Christian is to be a servant of Jesus, called to a specific way of being in the world, and set apart for the gospel of God.

Concerning this gospel, this good news, it is all about God the Son, Jesus Christ, who is also fully human. Jesus is the singular person – both God and human at the same time, all the time. His human credentials are linked to the genealogy of the ancient King David, who was promised by God that one of his descendants would sit on throne forever. And as for Christ’s divinity, it was confirmed and established through his resurrection from death.

It is through Christ that we are called to belong to him; we have received the grace to be called children of God; and we are called to holiness for God. We all, therefore, have a calling. Every one of us is important. All of us receive the grace of God to fulfill that calling in this world.

In our contemporary society, we put a lot of stock into what we do, to the point of identifying ourselves primarily by our job titles and positions. But in God’s society, our primary identification is that we belong to God, and specifically to Jesus Christ.

Belonging to Christ means we are to have a certain way of being – not just doing – on this earth. We are first and foremost human beings, and not human doings. What we do is to flow from our being, and not the other way around. We do not gain identity through actions and accomplishments.

Our way of being has a lot to do with the Advent season. Christ’s coming into this world as a vulnerable baby was a deliberate way of being for Jesus in this world. He would go through all the human travails and trials that we do. He would know both joy and suffering, and would know them as coming together into one:

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2, NIV)

It’s normal for us to wonder about the nature of our own personal sufferings. Its hard for us to make sense out of all the nonsensical things in this world, especially when it pertains to us personally.

Indeed, it is hard for us to accept the reality that humble suffering is not only a part of living in this world, but is also an important part of being a Christian who belongs to Jesus.

Whenever we lose something or someone important to us, we struggle with why. We may wonder where God was. We might think there is something wrong with us, as if God is punishing us for some unknown sin we’ve done in the past.

But we would be barking up the wrong tree. Methinks we wrestle so much with adversity and hardship because of our predilection for doing instead of being.

Perhaps our life situations are more about our way of being in this world, rather than what we do on this earth.

Maybe my life is meant primarily to be about being a person who is always loving, kind, compassionate, just, good, righteous, and holy – a saint, set apart as one who belongs to God.

Maybe it has a lot less to do with our vocations and only seeing things through what I’m able to do, or not do.

It could be that I am meant to see God’s grace operating through me by means of love, not hate; kindness, not meanness; compassion and comfort, not indifference and annoyance; justice, not injustice; goodness, not bad attitudes; and holiness, not unrighteousness.

It is quite possible that today (and every day) my Christian life has been about, is about, and will continue to be about my suffering for the sake of Jesus, who suffered for me.

“Why be disturbed of things that do not succeed according to your plans and desires? Who gets everything according to his likes? Neither I, nor you, nor anyone else on this earth. No one in this world is without some trial or illness or affliction, not even a king or a pope. Who, then, has it the best? The one who is willing to suffer for God’s sake.” Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

The believers in the Roman Church, for whom the Apostle Paul wrote his letter, were focused primarily on what they had and what they did as Jews and as Gentiles. Because of their understanding of identity, they kept wrangling with each other and looking down on one another – namely, because they failed to each other as belonging equally to God as the one people of God. Jews were too hung up on how they kept the Law for centuries without any Gentiles. And Gentiles were too myopic to see that they were not replacing Jews out of some superior activity.

To love one another, and to simply love, is to suffer. Apart from love there is no suffering. Without love, there is no peace, no grace; and there is no belonging to God and having a way of being in the world which pleases God.

Furthermore, one can never have possessions or wealth without a great deal of anxiety and apprehension. Our happiness does not consist in temporal things, but in the permanence of relationships, because relationships are the only things we take with us in the end.

In the spirit and practice of the Lord Jesus whom the Christian serves, we must pass through the fire before we arrive at redemption and be at peace with God and humanity.

To reach the joy of Christmas, we must endure the weeks of Advent, of anticipating the hope to come, of waiting to see the Christ child who humbly comes into the world for us and for our salvation. And that means we may likely have to endure any current adverse and hard circumstances.

We are called – not for selfish gain, and not to look down on others who are different – but for a way of being in this world which emulates the Lord whom we serve, Jesus Christ our Savior.

Shepherd of Israel: May Jesus, Emmanuel and son of Mary, be more than just a dream in our hearts. With the apostles, prophets, and saints, save us, restore us, and lead us in the way of grace and peace, so that we may bear your promise into the world. Amen.