As a deer gets thirsty for streams of water, I truly am thirsty for you, my God. In my heart, I am thirsty for you, the living God. When will I see your face? Day and night my tears are my only food, as everyone keeps asking, “Where is your God?”
Sorrow floods my heart, when I remember leading the worshipers to your house. I can still hear them shout their joyful praises. Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God.
I am deeply discouraged as I think about you from where the Jordan begins at Mount Hermon and from Mount Mizar. Your vicious waves have swept over me like an angry ocean or a roaring waterfall.
Every day, you are kind, and at night you give me a song as my prayer to you, the living Lord God.
You are my mighty rock. Why have you forgotten me? Why must enemies mistreat me and make me sad? Even my bones are in pain, while all day long my enemies sneer and ask, “Where is your God?”
Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God. (CEV)
Sadness. Every human on planet earth knows the feeling. Since we are emotional creatures, profound sadness even to the point of depression and/or despondency will happen. Yet, despite the universal nature of discouragement and tears, many Christians buck the sadness.
Far too many believers focus so exclusively on victory in Jesus through his resurrection, ascension, and glorification that they use religion as their denial when unwanted emotions like sadness come banging at the doorstep of their soul.
So, I most emphatically say: Depression is not sin. To be discouraged is not the Enemy. Experiencing sadness is neither wrong nor selfish. Quite the opposite, in fact. It is necessary to sit with our emotions and feel the breadth and depth of them. Both our spiritual and emotional health come through an awareness and robust engagement with our feelings. To refuse to feel is to put the stiff arm to God.
The psalmist does anything but deny his feelings. He brings them before the Lord and spreads them out before the Divine. Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? Why the sadness? Could it be that God has forgotten me? Where is the Lord? Is God angry with me? Are my troubles the result of divine wrath?
To blandly say we have never uttered or thought such questions is a telltale sign of denial. The bottom line for many folks is that they do not want to feel because such emotions complicate their lives. Besides, discouragement and sadness hurt. “Why feel,” we reason, “when it only brings pain?”
Ah, yes, the avoidance of pain. And there is no pain quite like emotional and spiritual pain. Much like an open wound which needs a liberal application of painful peroxide, so our spiritual wounds must sting with the salve of emotional feeling. Healing is neither cheap, easy, nor painless. It typically hurts like hell.
The psalmist’s own pain revolved around feelings of alienation from God, being cut off from fellow worshipers, and harassed by others around him. Understandably, he experienced despondency and loneliness. The psalmist wondered if anyone, including God, even cared what he was going through. In other words, he is desperate for God to show up.
I am going to make a simple observation about this psalm: The psalmist did not get any answers to the several questions he posed. He even repeated them, to no avail. The only form of comfort the psalmist received was to remember what God had done in the past. Somehow, someway, this will help with the difficulties of the present.
There are times in life when we must recall what we know about God, ourselves, and others. If the Lord has delivered in the past, God can do it again. If others helped before, perhaps they will be present in the here and now. And just maybe, even likely, you and I will discover a resilient spirit within. We already possess everything we need to not only survive but to grow and thrive in life.
Hope arises from holding the big picture of the past, present, and future together at the same time. When present circumstances are difficult, and it appears we are about to swallowed up into the now, we must hold the past and future along with it, in careful tension. Then, we shall find the ennoblement to keep going.
Trust in the future, a confident expectation of hope, is born from the trustworthiness of the past. A prayerful song in our heart will carry us through till our hope is realized.
Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins. (NIV)
This psalm is the miserable cry of a nobody from nowhere. Yet, because the Lord is attentive to the righteous, the cry penetrates heaven and is received. The psalmist only wants to serve God with a new beginning and fresh obedience – and he will wait and hope for liberation from his misery.
We typically use the term “hope” in a wishful thinking sort of way. That is because we are not quite sure if things will shake-out like we want. But biblical hope is not wishful thinking. Rather, it is a confident expectation of what is to come. Hope is like anticipating the seasons. In the dead of winter when it is bitter cold with little sunshine, we hope, and not wish, for Spring because we know it is coming. It might come in early March, maybe in late April. The trees will bud, the grass will turn green, and the temperature will warm – you can bet your britches on it.
This old world might be messed up and broken right now, but it will not always be this way. Because of the person and work of Jesus Christ, there is hope, the confident expectation that deliverance from sin, death, and hell will be fully realized. We are saved from the bondage of sin through the cross and resurrection of Christ. We are delivered into an inheritance which can never perish, spoil, or fade – kept in heaven for us until the time is right. Meanwhile, we hope with the confident expectation of Christ’s coming again.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. (1 Peter 1:3-6, NIV)
Until our hope is fully realized, we cry out to God and watch for his deliverance. Regarding our salvation, it is accurate to say that we have been saved (from the realm of sin); we are currently being saved (through being made holy in this life); and, we will be saved (when Jesus returns). Liberation from both our personal struggles and the evil machinations of this world is an ongoing process that will only reach its complete fulfillment at the end of the age.
That is why we experience such a weird existence on this earth, a strange amalgam of good and bad. We not only get mixed messages from the world, but also internally, within our souls, we experience the struggle between right and wrong. Outwardly, we suffer in all kinds of earthly grief from others who do not understand us. Inwardly, we have the silent pain and terrible wrestling of wanting to forgive but desiring revenge; of seeking to be gracious but seething with anger; of looking to express kind words but having hate speech blurt out instead.
It will not always be this way. We have a living hope. Jesus has risen from death. He is alive. He is coming back to judge the living and the dead. He will take us to be with him forever. It is the confident expectation of unhindered relationship, with no obstacles of difficult people, and without any systemic evil from organizational structures giving us a hard time.
Hope is real. It is just as real as anything we will ever know this side of heaven. We might not always find what we are looking for in this life, yet, in the next life, we shall find the life that is truly life in Jesus Christ, who is our hope. Until then, we are to wait neither idly nor passively. Instead, it is sage for us to do the following:
Occupy the time. One of the best ways to avoid becoming anxious while waiting is to do what we are on this earth to do: be a blessing to others.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited…. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:14-16, 21, NIV)
Don’t try too hard. Trying to use willpower to squelch anxiety will only prompt even greater anxiety. Accept that we will have to wait and that we are not privy to God’s timetable.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 3:7, NLT)
Wait with other people. Waiting with others through talking about our shared hope helps redeem our time in the here and now.
Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. (Psalm 37:7, NLT)
Think of patience as compassion. Becoming impatient about something in life is entirely normal and happens to all of us. Our impatience is a stress response to a situation. Learning to be more patient is a way of being more compassionate to ourselves and others.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12, NIV)
Lord God Almighty, your hope arises with each dawn, pushing back the rubble of our lives. Each new day reminds us of your grace as you paint hope across the sky. Into the deafening cry of hopelessness, you whisper love that catches and holds us. There is no end, just new beginnings. No finish, just new starts. Into your resurrection we follow you into hope. You are alive in the world and in us. So, we carry your hope within our spirits always. Help us to lift our eyes and experience Christ’s resurrection hope arise in our lives through Jesus our Lord. Amen.
David being pelted with stones, by unknown Slovakian artist, 1937
I cry out to you, Lord.
You are my rock; don’t refuse to hear me.
If you won’t talk to me,
I’ll be just like those going down to the pit.
Listen to my request for mercy when I cry out to you,
when I lift up my hands to your holy inner sanctuary.
Don’t drag me off with the wicked and those who do evil;
the type who talk nice to their friends
while evil thoughts are in their hearts!
Pay them back for what they’ve done!
Pay them back for their evil deeds!
Pay them back for their handiwork!
Give back to them exactly what they deserve!
Because they have no regard for what the Lord has done,
no regard for his handiwork,
God will tear them down and never rebuild!
Bless the Lord
because he has listened to my request for mercy!
The Lord is my strength and my shield.
My heart trusts him.
I was helped, my heart rejoiced,
and I thank him with my song.
The Lord is his people’s strength;
he is a fortress of protection for his anointed one.
Save your people, God!
Bless your possession!
Shepherd them and carry them for all time! (CEB)
The biblical character David, in frustration and agony, cried out for help, for God to hear his prayers. And, when his prayer was heard, David gave exuberant praise to the Lord for listening to him. We are not told specifically of how that prayer was answered and what happened between the request and the response. It seems the juicy details are left out on purpose, so that maybe we would not get lost in the retribution but stick with the fact that there was a desperate need and the Lord stepped in and did something about it.
As I pondered this psalm and its lack of life-detail, I wondered about David’s situation: Could it be that David gave God praise just for being heard by him? Was David cured in some way, or was he healed from the need to be healed? Was there even any actual deliverance that occurred? Did David come to praise God despite a lack of deliverance? Was David’s joy in his relationship with God conditional, or unconditional?
Hamlet, played by actor Matt Amendt in the Pittsburgh Public Theater, 2018
William Shakespeare’s Hamlet (c.1601 C.E.) put the question this way: “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” Hamlet’s soliloquy went on to say:
“Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance, to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin (knitting needle)?”
Hamlet, much like David of old, was miserable and burdened with a profound lack of power to change his circumstances. So, he reflects on life and death in a morbid and melancholy way. It is not that Hamlet was contemplating suicide as much as he meditated on what life truly is and finding some meaning within it. Unlike David, Hamlet cannot find the courage to deal with his frustration and feels stymied with fear of the unknown.
If we are blatantly honest with ourselves, we must admit that far too often we have a particular outcome in mind for God to do. Our hopes and expectations are tethered to God doing something extremely specific so that, if it does not come to pass (or does not come quickly!) we become discouraged and disillusioned. Like Hamlet, we become lost in the shadows of our thinking and ponder some sort of escape.
So, here is another set of questions I am asking myself: If my adverse circumstances do not change, can I praise God anyway? Can I, like David, take joy in simply being heard? Can I find gratitude in all situations? Do I only express thanks and praise to God when things are going my way? Am I open to whatever God wants to do in my life, even if it is not what I would choose? Do I feel that I am above having to put up with the wickedness of this world? Am I expecting heaven on earth, or am I willing to suffer as Jesus did?
I honestly believe the answers to those questions will determine the trajectory of our Christian experience. For the identity and meaning of all persons is found in the divine.
I praise you, O God, in the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, the failures and the victories. You are Lord over all things. You are my strength and shield in every circumstance. When I am weak, I am strong. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Amen.
The Sinking of the Apostle Peter by Julia Stankova, 2006
The New Testament Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John allow us to see Jesus for who he really is: The Son of God, the true King of the universe who seeks to reconcile people to God through his life, miracles, and teaching. The Gospels also allow us to see the disciples of Jesus for who they really are: A rag-tag bunch who express both belief and doubt, and experience both faith and failure.
The reality of the Christian life is that it is often a herky-jerky three-steps-forward and two-steps-backward kind of experience. An expectation that we will “succeed” and have everything go well every time we try something by stepping out in faith is way out of step with how things work in both this world and in the kingdom of God. It would be a bit like a basketball player expecting to make every free throw attempt – and if they cannot do it, they refuse to even try.
Doubt and failure are important experiences for the believer in Jesus Christ. Without failure, there is no Christian life. Never failing means we have not tried – we are still in the boat, having never left the safety of established routines and responded to God’s command to come, leave your comfort zone, and enter the scary world of kingdom living.
Our failures may sometimes, like the disciple Peter, be colossal belly-flops. Yet, the story of Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water and becoming overcome with the waves is just as much or more about Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33). Christ extended grace to Peter and helped him, even in his failure of faith. Therefore, our failures do not need to define us. Jesus is Lord over the water, the storms, and of everything – including our own hardship and trouble.
Yes, there are a lot of scary things in life. Learning to ride a bike is scary. Driving for the first time on an icy road is scary. Getting married and having kids is scary. Admitting an addiction or unethical behavior is scary. Sharing the innermost thoughts with a friend is scary. It is scary just to be in this world. It can even be scary to be at church! It is all scary because we might fail, and the failure, we reason and worry about, might crush us.
However, the fear of failure need not control our lives because grace overcomes everything. We all find ourselves, at times, caught midway between faith and doubt. Yet, to know this situation is to experience grace. If the worst scenario you worry about in your head would actually come to pass, it will still never change the reality that God loves you! And it will not stop Jesus from extending his hand to you in a life-saving grip of grace.
Jesus Saving Peter by Bertram Poole, 2012
Fear only melts away when we keep our eyes on Jesus. Christ is the polestar whom we must center our lives, instead of focusing on the waves around us. The truth sets us free, so, take note of the following truths about Jesus that will help us overcome the fear of failure and embrace a life of faith.
Jesus is a person of prayer (Matthew 14:22-24).
Jesus, the Son of God, was deeply dependent on his heavenly Father. His life exhibited the necessities of simple prayer and obedience. If Jesus found the need for solitude and prayer in his life and ministry, how much more to we need it!?
Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go out on the lake. As Lord of the elements, he knew very well they were about to face a storm. Sure enough, the storm clouds gathered, and the boat got thrown around by the waves. Even though the disciples were doing God’s will by going out on the lake, they were not spared from the adversity. In fact, Jesus wanted them to experience the storm because it is through the storm that we really learn faith.
Faith is a muscle which requires continual use. Through stressful and vigorous exercise, there is a breaking down of muscle tissue and tearing of muscle fibers which leaves the body in need of rest and recuperation. It is through this process of healing that the muscles grow and are strengthened. Muscles which do not experience this type of stress become useless and eventually atrophy. Show me a person of great faith, and I’ll show you a person who has gone through a boat load of adversity and hurt, having allowed Jesus to grace them with healing.
There is no shame in either being hurt and/or admitting failure. Where there is shame, our instinct is to run away much like our ancestors Adam and Eve. We can try and hide from the shame, but we will end up hiding ourselves from the grace that could be ours through the Body of Christ. Grace is free, not cheap – it is accessed by the humility of confession.
Jesus is present with us, bringing an end to fear (Matthew 14:25-27).
Although on the middle of a lake during a storm, Jesus was still present with the disciples. Adverse weather was no problem for Jesus – he just walked on the water to be with them. Even though the disciples had just seen and participated in the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand, they were not looking for another miracle. Maybe that is why they did not recognize Jesus and were afraid when they saw him.
The disciples’ expectations of Jesus were far too low! Sometimes when we are afraid, we fail to see Jesus, even when he is right in front of our faces. We just do not expect him to be there. When the disciples cried out in fear, Jesus responded. I used to work at a factory where I trained people in their jobs. When the training was finished, I had the trainees evaluate our time together. The top response I received from most of them is that it was my presence that helped them to learn their job – the ability to fail time and time again. And having me there to rescue them when things got overwhelming eventually built faith that they could do it on their own.
Jesus wants those who follow him to imitate him (Matthew 14:28-31).
Jesus walked on water. Jesus invited Peter to walk on water. We are to do what Jesus did. Notice that Peter is not chided by Jesus for getting out of the boat but for doubting that he could continue in the miracle that was happening. Jesus wants more than a regurgitation or parroting of his teaching; he wants us to exercise that learning through actual deeds of faith. Once the command of Jesus was given to “come” then walking on water became nothing more than a matter of trust. Christianity is more than a set of doctrines to believe; it is a powerful reality to be live into.
“Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” –G.K. Chesterton
We understandably get nervous when a crazy Jesus and an unpredictable Holy Spirit call us to get out of the friendly confines of the boat. After all, we might fail. However, it is in such times we bank on the Word of God and the promises of God.
The Apostle James said that if we find ourselves lacking wisdom to deal with the unpredictable and unknowable that we are to ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and will be given to them (James 1:5).
Peter responded to his sinking situation by crying out to Jesus, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reached out and saved Peter from his own doubt and lack of faith. Jesus called Peter a “little-faith.” Many people have lived too long with the notion that God is some stern angry deity who is constantly displeased with his sinful people, and that only through perfection will he ever be happy with us. The truth is that Jesus wants us to imitate him; and, when we fail, he is there to pick us up.
Jesus has the authority to settle the storm when he is good and ready to do it (Matthew 14:32).
Jesus is the King of the universe and the Sovereign of the world. He will bring the crisis to an end according to his own good pleasure and in his own good timing. Rather than spending all our emotional capital by worrying or conniving to get out of a situation, we need to trust God and keep our eyes on Jesus. Our job is trust; God’s job is everything else.
Jesus’ power led the disciples to acknowledge who he is (Matthew 14:33).
Worship happens when we see Jesus as he really is, the Son of God. Flat, dull, boring worship comes from flat, dull, boring Christians who are unable to see the power of Jesus in their lives. And the way we know the power of God is when we are in a situation which requires God’s strength to deliver us. Grasping Jesus as the Son of God is more than a verbal confession of faith; it is being able to trust him, like getting out of a boat in the middle of a lake.
We are to live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us (Galatians 2:20). It does not require much faith to pray that Aunt Mable’s bunions will feel better. It only requires a little faith to give a dollar when you have ten dollars. It takes no faith to discuss the weather and steer clear of hard conversations.
However, it does require faith to pray for a miraculous healing every day without giving up for a little boy who is racked by epilepsy, and trust God to spare his life. It does require faith to write a check for $100 to someone in need when you have exactly $100 in your checking account, and you must trust God to provide for you own necessities. It does require faith to deviate from the routine schedule to have a difficult discussion about race. It does require faith to act on Christ’s teachings. It does require faith to live as though the mission of God in this world is the most important thing we could ever do.
It would be nice for me say that if you live by faith in the Son of God that you will never fail, but that would be lying. The only way of not failing is not living life, and not exercising faith. It would be great if we could pray and act without ever doubting, yet the only way to avoid doubt is to not believe.
So, may we embrace the life that is truly life by stepping out of the boat. May Jesus define our lives instead of letting failure define us. May we accept the grace that is ours in Jesus Christ our Lord.
