Tag: failure

Not Ashamed (2 Timothy 1:8-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. 

For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 

And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News. And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.

That is why I am suffering here in prison. But I am not ashamed of it, for I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return. (New Living Translation)

Guilt and Shame

Shame is a nasty feeling. Whereas guilt is a function of the conscience, and helps steer us toward making things right with others, shame lays an unnecessary heavy burden on the soul. Guilt says that I did or said something that wasn’t good. But shame says we did or said something because I am a failure.

The Apostle Paul insisted to his young protégé, Timothy, that there’s no basis for shame when it comes to proclamation of the gospel. In fact, the Good News confronts shame by putting a wooden stake through its heart.

Shame is a vampire that lives in the shadows and feeds on secrets. But the light of the Gospel penetrates life, disintegrating shame and putting it to death.

God’s word is alive and powerful! It is sharper than any double-edged sword. God’s word can cut through our spirits and souls and through our joints and marrow, until it discovers the desires and thoughts of our hearts. Nothing is hidden from God! He sees through everything, and we will have to tell him the truth. (Hebrews 4:12-13, CEV)

Not a Failure

From a particular perspective, Paul would seem like a failure to many. He was an up and coming star in Judaic circles, but gave it all up to follow Jesus. And then, his life was marked by continual hardship, even persecution. To top it off, he landed in prison. Ironically, Paul found himself in a bad place just for being a preacher of good. He never left his imprisonment, and was eventually killed.

Yet Paul had no shame about any of it. Rather, he embraced the suffering, the difficulty, and all the circumstances that went sideways. Why? Because he had complete faith in who he was serving and what he was doing.

A lot of people, especially church pastors, struggle with shame. Most of them don’t have “successful” ministries when looked at from a certain angle. They see themselves as failures, and end up leaving the ministry and never going back.

Our strength and our help, however, no matter whether we’re clergy or laity, is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth; our assistance is found in the Good News we proclaim, in Jesus Christ, who himself was not ashamed of being tortured and killed.

Let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-3, NLT)

No More Shame

Christ has defanged the vampire of shame. And because of the work achieved on the Cross, we can now live in confidence, knowing who we believe, and trusting that the shame-busting Good News of grace will have it’s penetrating way in the world.

Salvation entails being delivered from something so that we can live for something else. We have been saved from the terrible grip of shame – which then allows us to live a vulnerable and confident faith in Jesus through the power of the Spirit.

Deliverance from shame enables us to respond to our holy calling from God.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. (Ephesians 1:4, NIV)

God chose us to be holy. He does not want us to live in sin. (1 Thessalonians 4:7, ERV)

“Salvation” is a wonderful word which needs to be reclaimed as so much more than going to heaven someday. In reality, it is the divine purpose by which God makes us just, right, and holy, forgiving our offenses and transforming us by the Spirit into the image of Christ.

Christ, in his incarnation, life, ministry, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension has redeemed us. Jesus has torn down every wall, removed each barrier, and built bridges in connecting us to a life without shame and with everything we need to live well.

Christians embody the life of Christ within them by living a holy life, free of the weight of shame, and boldly proclaiming a message of grace, forgiveness, and freedom from the dark secrets we all carry.

This isn’t merely an ethereal gospel; it is Good News of great joy that has real impact for the nitty-gritty of our everyday lives.

O God, the author of peace and lover of harmony, to know you is eternal life and to serve you is deliverance and freedom: Defend us, your humble servants, in all assaults of our enemies; that we, surely trusting in your defense, may not fear the power of any adversaries, through the might of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Leviticus 5:1-13 – The Problem of Guilt

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment

“‘If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.

“‘If anyone becomes aware that they are guilty—if they unwittingly touch anything ceremonially unclean (whether the carcass of an unclean animal, wild or domestic, or of any unclean creature that moves along the ground) and they are unaware that they have become unclean, but then they come to realize their guilt;or if they touch human uncleanness (anything that would make them unclean) even though they are unaware of it, but then they learn of it and realize their guilt; or if anyone thoughtlessly takes an oath to do anything, whether good or evil (in any matter one might carelessly swear about) even though they are unaware of it, but then they learn of it and realize their guilt—when anyone becomes aware that they are guilty in any of these matters, they must confess in what way they have sinned. As a penalty for the sin they have committed, they must bring to the Lord a female lamb or goat from the flock as a sin offering; and the priest shall make atonement for them for their sin.

“‘Anyone who cannot afford a lamb is to bring two doves or two young pigeons to the Lord as a penalty for their sin—one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. They are to bring them to the priest, who shall first offer the one for the sin offering. He is to wring its head from its neck, not dividing it completely, and is to splash some of the blood of the sin offering against the side of the altar; the rest of the blood must be drained out at the base of the altar. It is a sin offering. The priest shall then offer the other as a burnt offering in the prescribed way and make atonement for them for the sin they have committed, and they will be forgiven.

“‘If, however, they cannot afford two doves or two young pigeons, they are to bring as an offering for their sin a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour for a sin offering. They must not put olive oil or incense on it, because it is a sin offering. They are to bring it to the priest, who shall take a handful of it as a memorial portion and burn it on the altar on top of the food offerings presented to the Lord. It is a sin offering. In this way the priest will make atonement for them for any of these sins they have committed, and they will be forgiven. The rest of the offering will belong to the priest, as in the case of the grain offering.’” (New International Version)

“Indifference is the sign of sickness, a sickness of the soul more contagious than any other.”

Elie Wiesel

Guilt comes in two forms: overt speech or action which wrongs another person; or the failure to speak or act when it was necessary to do so.

Oftentimes we think of sin as exclusively wrongdoing – an overt act of disobedience or evil. Yet, sin primarily manifests itself through indifference. The sinner is mostly one who doesn’t get involved. He walks on the other side of the road to avoid unwanted entanglements.

What’s more, sins of the tongue are much more common and prolific than sins of the body. Although hurtful words abound in this fallen world, it is also the absence of speaking up and naming falsehood for what it is that is an egregious sin before God.

The Lord will hold responsible those who are silent in the face of observing injustice.

And, if later, someone becomes aware they were complicit with an injustice through a failure to speak up, they are also guilty.

The Old Testament book of Leviticus is all about maintaining the purity and holiness of God’s people. So, the book is filled with detailed prescriptions on how to handle guilt. Going through a specific and laborious process of dealing with guilt, communicated to the people that this is important. It’s a big deal.

We need, however, to ensure we aren’t using the terms guilt and shame interchangeably.

Guilt is a function of our conscience. It lets us know when we have said or done something wrong or hurtful, or failed to provide help. It’s specific to a particular action or lack of action.

Shame, however, is a function of the “inner critic.” It interprets bad words or actions as we ourselves being bad. It focuses not on actions but on our very personhood in the form of judgmentalism leveled at myself.

Whereas guilt says, “I have done something bad,” shame says, “I am bad.” Guilt serves a redemptive purpose through alerting us that we need to deal with a wrong. Shame, however, damages our spirits through telling us we are flawed and unworthy of love and connection with others.

Because guilt and shame are not the same, they need to be dealt with in different ways:

  • Guilt, if not faced and dealt with, becomes gangrene of the soul. Over time it festers and poisons our spirits, leading to significant emotional and sometimes physical problems. Forgiveness is the primary tool in dealing with guilt. It begins with self-forgiveness and then offering an apology to another and asking for forgiveness.
  • Shame is a vampire that lives in the shadows and feeds on secrets. If shame persists, we withdraw from others and experience grinding loneliness. Therefore, the path out of shame is to openly name our shame and tell our stories. This takes power away from shame and gives it to yourself. In other words, the practice of vulnerability erases shame.

For the Christian, Jesus is the once for all sacrificial offering which forever takes away both our guilt and our shame.

Since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:21-22, NLT)

We must never stop looking to Jesus. He is the leader of our faith, and he is the one who makes our faith complete. He suffered death on a cross. But he accepted the shame of the cross as if it were nothing because of the joy he could see waiting for him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne. (Hebrews 12:2, ERV)

“See, I lay a stone in Zion,
    a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
    will never be put to shame.” (1 Peter 2:6, NIV)

Guilt and shame are not erased by either ignoring them or by dismissing them as negative emotions. They are handled through the person and work of Jesus Christ. It is grace which grants us amnesty from shortcomings, failures, and sins.

Thanks be to God! Believe this gospel and live in its peace.

Holy and merciful God, in your presence we confess our sinfulness, our shortcomings, and our offenses against you. You alone know how often we have sinned in wandering from your ways, in wasting your gifts, in forgetting your love. Have mercy on us, O Lord, for we are sorry for all we have done to displease you. Forgive our sins, and help us to live in your light and walk in your ways, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Savior. Amen.

Mark 6:45-52 – Facing Fear

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray.

Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out because they all saw him and were terrified.

Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened. (New International Version)

Sometimes, we are afraid – even terrified. And Christians aren’t immune to the feeling of fear and terror.

The truth of the Christian life is that it is a herky-jerky process of three-steps-forward, two-steps-backward, not always knowing with certainty everything we encounter.  

The expectation that we will have a consistent upward trajectory of spiritual development with no scary experiences is wrongheaded and misguided. Throw into the mix that our self-awareness is often skewed, and that we have difficulty assessing ourselves with any accuracy, and voila! we have a recipe for the true human condition.

Doubt, fear, failure, and stubbornness aren’t just endemic to other people – it also characterizes many Christians, as well. We will face severe storms in life. They will be harsh. We will wonder if we’ll even make it out alive, or not. And it may very well seem like Jesus is nowhere to be found. Then, when he does show up, we don’t recognize him, and it scares the bejabbers out of us.

This was the experience of Christ’s disciples, who too often reflect our own stories of faith and fear all rolled up in one person. Today’s Gospel lesson is this: Our fears and foibles do not need to define us because Jesus is Lord over the water, the weather, the wondering, the waiting, the wildness, and our own whimsical natures of seeing miracles accomplished in others, then not believing it can happen in our own lives.

So, what are we really afraid of? Failure? Fear itself? Death? Irrelevance? Loss? Change? Perhaps, everything? Yes, all of life is a risky scary business. There are no guarantees, except one: Christ is present with us, whether we are aware of it, or not.

If the worst scenario you worry about in your head would actually come to pass, it will still never change the reality that God loves you and is with you.  And it will not stop Jesus from assuring us of his presence and climbing into the boat to be with us.

We don’t have any accounts of Jesus freaking out in fear, or when other people flip out in their own fear. Jesus was a person of prayer, completely grounded in his relationship with the Father.   

Jesus made his disciples get into a boat and go out on the lake – all the while knowing what they were about to face with the weather. Even though the disciples were doing God’s will by going out on the lake, they were not spared from adversity. In fact, Jesus wanted them to experience the storm because it is through the storm that we really learn faith and to face down our fears. 

There is no shame in being afraid. We all experience it. And there is no shame in admitting we’re scared. Where shame exists, our instinct is to run away like our ancestors Adam and Eve and hide, thus hiding ourselves from the grace that could be ours.

Being out on the middle of a lake during a storm did not prevent Jesus from being present with the disciples – he just walked on the water to be with them. Even though the disciples had just seen and participated in the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand, they were not looking for another miracle – which is why they did not recognize Jesus and were afraid when they saw him.

Jesus never chided his disciples for their fear, or their hard hearts. He simply invited them, with the tone of grace and mercy, to not be afraid. And the Scripture is replete with continual encouragements to not be afraid because of God’s presence. Along with psalmist, we can say:

But when I am afraid,
    I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
    I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
    What can mere mortals do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4, NLT)

I sleep and wake up refreshed
    because you, Lord,
    protect me.
Ten thousand enemies attack
from every side,
    but I am not afraid. (Psalm 3:5-6, CEV)

When I called, you answered me.
You made me bold by strengthening my soul. (Psalm 138:3, GW)

Ultimately, fear has to do with disconnection. It is to feel powerless, separated from any resources, unable to do anything about what is presently staring us in the face and scaring us.

Yet, when we have an awareness and a sense of connection with Jesus, there are unlimited resources of grace to accept, cope, and transcend any and every storm we find ourselves in the middle of.

May the risen and ascended Christ, mightier than the hordes of hell, more glorious than the heavenly hosts,
be with you in all your ways. 

May the cross of the Son of God protect you by day and by night, at morning and at evening, at all times and in all places.

May Christ Jesus guard and deliver you from the snares of the devil, from the assaults of evil spirits, from the wrath of the wicked, from all base passions, and from the fear of the known and unknown. 

And may the blessing of God almighty – Father, Son, and Spirit – be upon you and remain with you always. Amen.

*Above painting of Jesus walking on water by Brian Whelan

**Above Orthodox icon of Christ walking on water

***Above painting: Christ walking on the sea, by French artist Amédée Varint (1818-1883)

Walking on Water?

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

The Sinking of the Apostle Peter by Julia Stankova
The Sinking of the Apostle Peter by Julia Stankova, 2006

The New Testament Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John allow us to see Jesus for who he really is: The Son of God, the true King of the universe who seeks to reconcile people to God through his life, miracles, and teaching.  The Gospels also allow us to see the disciples of Jesus for who they really are: A rag-tag bunch who express both belief and doubt, and experience both faith and failure.

The reality of the Christian life is that it is often a herky-jerky three-steps-forward and two-steps-backward kind of experience. An expectation that we will “succeed” and have everything go well every time we try something by stepping out in faith is way out of step with how things work in both this world and in the kingdom of God. It would be a bit like a basketball player expecting to make every free throw attempt – and if they cannot do it, they refuse to even try.

Doubt and failure are important experiences for the believer in Jesus Christ.  Without failure, there is no Christian life. Never failing means we have not tried – we are still in the boat, having never left the safety of established routines and responded to God’s command to come, leave your comfort zone, and enter the scary world of kingdom living.

Our failures may sometimes, like the disciple Peter, be colossal belly-flops. Yet, the story of Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water and becoming overcome with the waves is just as much or more about Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33).  Christ extended grace to Peter and helped him, even in his failure of faith.  Therefore, our failures do not need to define us.  Jesus is Lord over the water, the storms, and of everything – including our own hardship and trouble.

Yes, there are a lot of scary things in life.  Learning to ride a bike is scary.  Driving for the first time on an icy road is scary.  Getting married and having kids is scary.  Admitting an addiction or unethical behavior is scary.  Sharing the innermost thoughts with a friend is scary.  It is scary just to be in this world.  It can even be scary to be at church!  It is all scary because we might fail, and the failure, we reason and worry about, might crush us.

However, the fear of failure need not control our lives because grace overcomes everything.  We all find ourselves, at times, caught midway between faith and doubt. Yet, to know this situation is to experience grace.  If the worst scenario you worry about in your head would actually come to pass, it will still never change the reality that God loves you!  And it will not stop Jesus from extending his hand to you in a life-saving grip of grace.

Jesus Saving Peter by Bertram Poole
Jesus Saving Peter by Bertram Poole, 2012

Fear only melts away when we keep our eyes on Jesus. Christ is the polestar whom we must center our lives, instead of focusing on the waves around us. The truth sets us free, so, take note of the following truths about Jesus that will help us overcome the fear of failure and embrace a life of faith.

Jesus is a person of prayer (Matthew 14:22-24).

Jesus, the Son of God, was deeply dependent on his heavenly Father.  His life exhibited the necessities of simple prayer and obedience.  If Jesus found the need for solitude and prayer in his life and ministry, how much more to we need it!?

Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go out on the lake.  As Lord of the elements, he knew very well they were about to face a storm.  Sure enough, the storm clouds gathered, and the boat got thrown around by the waves.  Even though the disciples were doing God’s will by going out on the lake, they were not spared from the adversity.  In fact, Jesus wanted them to experience the storm because it is through the storm that we really learn faith.

Faith is a muscle which requires continual use. Through stressful and vigorous exercise, there is a breaking down of muscle tissue and tearing of muscle fibers which leaves the body in need of rest and recuperation. It is through this process of healing that the muscles grow and are strengthened. Muscles which do not experience this type of stress become useless and eventually atrophy.  Show me a person of great faith, and I’ll show you a person who has gone through a boat load of adversity and hurt, having allowed Jesus to grace them with healing.

There is no shame in either being hurt and/or admitting failure. Where there is shame, our instinct is to run away much like our ancestors Adam and Eve. We can try and hide from the shame, but we will end up hiding ourselves from the grace that could be ours through the Body of Christ.  Grace is free, not cheap – it is accessed by the humility of confession.

Jesus is present with us, bringing an end to fear (Matthew 14:25-27).

Although on the middle of a lake during a storm, Jesus was still present with the disciples. Adverse weather was no problem for Jesus – he just walked on the water to be with them.  Even though the disciples had just seen and participated in the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand, they were not looking for another miracle. Maybe that is why they did not recognize Jesus and were afraid when they saw him.

The disciples’ expectations of Jesus were far too low! Sometimes when we are afraid, we fail to see Jesus, even when he is right in front of our faces. We just do not expect him to be there. When the disciples cried out in fear, Jesus responded. I used to work at a factory where I trained people in their jobs. When the training was finished, I had the trainees evaluate our time together. The top response I received from most of them is that it was my presence that helped them to learn their job – the ability to fail time and time again. And having me there to rescue them when things got overwhelming eventually built faith that they could do it on their own.

Jesus wants those who follow him to imitate him (Matthew 14:28-31).

Jesus walked on water.  Jesus invited Peter to walk on water.  We are to do what Jesus did.  Notice that Peter is not chided by Jesus for getting out of the boat but for doubting that he could continue in the miracle that was happening.  Jesus wants more than a regurgitation or parroting of his teaching; he wants us to exercise that learning through actual deeds of faith.  Once the command of Jesus was given to “come” then walking on water became nothing more than a matter of trust. Christianity is more than a set of doctrines to believe; it is a powerful reality to be live into.

“Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” –G.K. Chesterton

We understandably get nervous when a crazy Jesus and an unpredictable Holy Spirit call us to get out of the friendly confines of the boat.  After all, we might fail.  However, it is in such times we bank on the Word of God and the promises of God.

The Apostle James said that if we find ourselves lacking wisdom to deal with the unpredictable and unknowable that we are to ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and will be given to them (James 1:5).

Peter responded to his sinking situation by crying out to Jesus, “Lord, save me!”  Jesus immediately reached out and saved Peter from his own doubt and lack of faith.  Jesus called Peter a “little-faith.” Many people have lived too long with the notion that God is some stern angry deity who is constantly displeased with his sinful people, and that only through perfection will he ever be happy with us.  The truth is that Jesus wants us to imitate him; and, when we fail, he is there to pick us up.

Jesus has the authority to settle the storm when he is good and ready to do it (Matthew 14:32).

Jesus is the King of the universe and the Sovereign of the world.  He will bring the crisis to an end according to his own good pleasure and in his own good timing.  Rather than spending all our emotional capital by worrying or conniving to get out of a situation, we need to trust God and keep our eyes on Jesus. Our job is trust; God’s job is everything else.

Jesus’ power led the disciples to acknowledge who he is (Matthew 14:33).

Worship happens when we see Jesus as he really is, the Son of God.  Flat, dull, boring worship comes from flat, dull, boring Christians who are unable to see the power of Jesus in their lives. And the way we know the power of God is when we are in a situation which requires God’s strength to deliver us. Grasping Jesus as the Son of God is more than a verbal confession of faith; it is being able to trust him, like getting out of a boat in the middle of a lake.

We are to live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us (Galatians 2:20). It does not require much faith to pray that Aunt Mable’s bunions will feel better. It only requires a little faith to give a dollar when you have ten dollars. It takes no faith to discuss the weather and steer clear of hard conversations.

However, it does require faith to pray for a miraculous healing every day without giving up for a little boy who is racked by epilepsy, and trust God to spare his life. It does require faith to write a check for $100 to someone in need when you have exactly $100 in your checking account, and you must trust God to provide for you own necessities.  It does require faith to deviate from the routine schedule to have a difficult discussion about race. It does require faith to act on Christ’s teachings.  It does require faith to live as though the mission of God in this world is the most important thing we could ever do.

It would be nice for me say that if you live by faith in the Son of God that you will never fail, but that would be lying.  The only way of not failing is not living life, and not exercising faith.  It would be great if we could pray and act without ever doubting, yet the only way to avoid doubt is to not believe.

So, may we embrace the life that is truly life by stepping out of the boat.  May Jesus define our lives instead of letting failure define us.  May we accept the grace that is ours in Jesus Christ our Lord.