Tag: differences

Stop Passing Judgment on Each Other (Romans 14:13-5:2)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. (New International Version)

It’s one thing to have opposing views with each other; it’s another thing altogether to pass judgment on the person(s) for whom you have a difference of opinion, practice, or theology.

I once had a man come to me about his daughter. She was getting married, and this father told me he was not going to her wedding. The issue? The father had raised his daughter a Christian, yet she had become a Wiccan and was going to have a pagan ceremony.

What would you do if you were the father? What would you say to him if you were the pastor?

I’m confident what most of my fellow Christian pastors would say – they would affirm the man’s position. Me, however, sensed some judgmentalism emanating from my parishioner. So, I asked him some questions:

What do you know about Wicca?

Why did your daughter convert to being a Wiccan?

Do you have a decent relationship with her?

How much do you love your daughter?

Do you think you could find a way of being with her when she gets married that doesn’t compromise your convictions?

As I asked the questions to the father, it quickly became evident that he was condemning her without a shred of evidence or accurate information to support such a judgment.

He believed that Wiccans were blatant devil worshipers (which they are not). So, I simply invited him to learn some basics of Wicca. I pointed him to some resources that might be helpful for him – ones that I believed he could be okay with reading. (Note: The resources were not written by Christians. If one wants to know what a particular group or individual believes, then you must go to the source)

The man had no idea why his daughter turned Wiccan. It turns out, he had never even asked her, or was at all curious as to why she would make such a different religious decision from her upbringing. I simply suggested that he just ask her, then not talk, and listen to the answer.

This father had an estranged relationship with his daughter because he had pulled away from her. She had actually continued to try and remain connected to her dad. But the man thought he was doing the right thing by ostracizing her and refusing to go to her wedding. He believed he needed a separation, to both teach her a lesson and to keep away from evil.

My parishioner, whom I had never seen cry, did so when I asked if he loved his daughter. The problem was that she didn’t know that.

There was a lot of internal struggle with the man in the next weeks and months. To his credit, he took me up on learning about his daughter and connecting with her, rather than cutting her off. And he ended up attending her wedding, albeit in the very back of the gathering.

The father discovered a lot of things he didn’t know, things which he made assumptions about in the past which were untrue and unfounded. He and his daughter’s relationship didn’t change overnight, but they were in a much better position than when the man first came to see me.

So, here is my question for you, my friend: If a Christian and a Wiccan can find a way to be together and love one another, despite their religious views and practices, then how much more can we, as Christians together, find ways to connect with each other, love one another, and stop passing judgment on the other?

It’s time for us to make up our minds and settle in our hearts whether we are going to create separations with other people, or whether we are going do what we can to foster relational connections with others.

Perhaps if we seek to embody today’s New Testament lesson, the ripple effect might just change the world.

O Holy God, we know we have fallen short.
We turn our backs when we could embrace.
We remain silent when we could speak.
We speak when we could listen.
We judge when we could seek understanding.
We cling when we could give.
Forgive us, O God, for focusing solely on ourselves and help us to continue to grow into the people you created us to be, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Dealing with Opposing Views (Romans 14:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. (New International Version)

Within the church at Rome were Jewish believers who had come to faith in Christ from their background steeped in the Old Testament. They had a rich two-thousand year history of a covenant with God that included ritual food laws, the keeping of certain feast days, and observing a calendar of events, especially the Sabbath.

Also within the Roman church were Gentiles (non-Jewish people) having come to faith in Christ from a background of paganism. They had no history with the God of the Bible. There were no previous generations of faithful believers in God. They were first generation Christians and basked in their newfound freedom.

The Apostle Paul’s vision was for one church, unified together around Jesus. And this unity would need to be worked on. Jew and Gentile were very different from one another; and here they were in the same church together, not understanding each other. 

The Jewish believers were appalled at Gentile thinking and behavior. Even though the Jewish Christians had come to embrace Jesus, they did not abandon their two-thousand year history of being with God. They still held to their food laws and special days. The Jewish members believed the Gentiles should be like them; the Jews wanted the Gentiles to embrace the same ritualistic behavior that they had done for centuries.

But the Gentiles did not comply. So, the Jewish believers passed judgment and condemnation on them for not being sensitive to the things of God.

On the other hand, the Gentile believers felt no compulsion to have such rules and regulations concerning their Christian lives. They ate what they pleased and saw no need to hold to special days. They could not understand why the Jewish Christians were so stuck in their traditions. So the Gentiles looked down on the Jews as hopelessly misguided. This was a potentially explosive situation that Paul was deeply concerned about.

The Apostle Paul’s message was to accept the person whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters. Sounds like easy counsel to follow. But the problem was that the people did not distinguish between what is a non-negotiable matter and what was a disputable matter. 

The guiding principle is that Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. The non-negotiable matter is Jesus Christ, his person and work.  Jesus is our core belief. Nothing else is to be in the center except him.

Therefore, we are to celebrate our unity around Jesus, our center. Anything outside of that center is a “disputable matter” and not worthy of Christians condemning each other or looking down on one another.

The root problem of any church conflict is the de-throning of Jesus and setting up our particular views as the center of Christianity.

The church has struggled with this teaching for its long two-thousand year history. Every church I have served had their particular issues that they felt so strongly about that it crowded Jesus out of the center. 

In one church, education was the big issue. Some believed in Christian schools as the only way to educate their kids. Others felt that home-schooling was the way to go because of the culture. Yet others thought public education needed the light of Christians participating in it, and sent their kids to public schools. The problem was that each group sincerely believed they were right and everyone else was wrong.

In another church I served, there were hard feelings about the place of men and women in the church who had been divorced and remarried. In yet another church, the issue was about whether church members could drink alcohol or not. And yet another church’s issue dealt with how we dress and what our attire is at church. 

I still remember one lady in that church talking with a woman who had recently given her life to Christ out of a life of prostitution. The woman was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The church lady was giving her a lecture about how she should be “dressing up for Jesus.” As I heard this, I thought to myself, “Lady, I’m not sure you are going to like the woman’s idea of dressing up for Jesus….”

Whenever we want to place disputable matters on people’s “must-do” list, then there will be trouble. We will judge others who do not think as we think, and do as we do, because of the mistaken notion that our way is equal to the death and resurrection of Christ. If it isn’t done my way, the church will be lost.

We do not necessarily need to change our views on disputable matters; but we do need to change our attitude and our behavior toward those we disagree with.

Intolerance of others’ views and behaviors causes a lack of dialogue, to create special interest groups and cabals against others, to stereotype others, and to seek to get their way no matter what. Such intolerance moves church members from a concern for the Great Commission of Jesus to the Great Commode of Satan’s bathroom.

For the Apostle Paul, the issues that divide Christians are very important, not because he championed one over the other, but because the church’s identity was at stake. Paul was concerned for two questions:

  1. Will the church be, at its core, a community of redeemed persons by the grace of God who center all their lives around the person and work of Jesus?
  2. Or will the church be a community of opinionated individuals and groups all jockeying for position to have their way on how they believe things should go?

This is really a heart issue: humility versus pride, and gentleness versus stubbornness. You can tell what a person’s identity is by their “identity markers.”

For the Jewish Christians, Sabbath-keeping, circumcision, food laws, and holding to certain days on the calendar marked their identity as God’s people. Those issues were so important that if you took them away, there would be an identity crisis; the people felt totally lost without their traditions.

For Gentile Christians, their identity was built around being more free-thinking. So, if you take away their freedom and ability to choose, the Gentiles will go nuts and have an identity meltdown. 

Paul’s answer was for both Jew and Gentile to accept each other and build their unity around Jesus, period. They needed to be sensitive to one another and focus on their shared identity of Jesus as the center of the Christian life.

Both the church and the society need some civility. In a nation where we feel free to say whatever we want, we do. In doing so, we elevate self-expression and our opinions over self-control and the mission of the church.

We need some generous spaciousness which allows room for us to discuss issues and disputable matters in an atmosphere of generosity, hospitality, and acceptance, seeking to first listen and understand, before responding. 

The goal of the Christian is not to win an argument or have our way, but to uphold Jesus as Lord of everything and maintain our center in him. On that basis alone, we will be held accountable by God. So, let us live wisely and well, knowing and pursuing Jesus with heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Gracious God, it’s both settling and centering to focus on the assurance of your acceptance. You know everything about us, and despite our failures, fickleness, foolishness, and faithlessness, yet still we are fully and eternally accepted. As you have accepted us, help us to accept others. Grant us grace to love those whom we disagree with.

Merciful and mighty God, enlarge our hearts. Enable us to show kindness without compromising our convictions. Teach us the difference between essential and non-essential matters. Free us from the limitations of our individual perspectives, the prejudices of our heritage, the insecurities of our comfort zone, insincere niceness,and the need to be right. 

Blessed Holy Spirit, burn your holy Word indelibly into us so that we accept all things and everyone you give us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Inclusion vs. Exclusion (Acts 15:1-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the believers: “Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.” This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question. The church sent them on their way, and as they traveled through Phoenicia and Samaria, they told how the Gentiles had been converted. This news made all the believers very glad. When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and elders, to whom they reported everything God had done through them.

Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to keep the law of Moses.”

The apostles and elders met to consider this question. After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.”

The whole assembly became silent as they listened to Barnabas and Paul telling about the signs and wonders God had done among the Gentiles through them. When they finished, James spoke up. “Brothers,” he said, “listen to me. Simon has described to us how God first intervened to choose a people for his name from the Gentiles. The words of the prophets agree with this, as it is written:

“‘After this I will return
    and rebuild David’s fallen tent.
Its ruins I will rebuild,
    and I will restore it,
that the rest of mankind may seek the Lord,
    even all the Gentiles who bear my name,
says the Lord, who does these things’—
    things known from long ago.

“It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. For the law of Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath.” (New International Version)

The Council of Jerusalem, by Franz Mayer of Munich, 1883

What happens when new people come into a group who are different? How does any church or faith community deal with long time members alongside new ones? Is there a way to work through differences without becoming like the Borg, trying to make others to be just like me? (“Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”)

Differences of thought, opinion, and practice are inevitable. Conflict cannot (and should not) always be avoided. Anyplace there’s people, conflict eventually happens. Put a bunch of sinners together in one place (like in a church), add a few grumpy old people, a few know-it-alls, then sit back and watch the fireworks. 

It seems to me that every church is about one or two good fights away from being non-existent. It’s a miracle that more congregations don’t call it quits every year, especially after their annual congregational meetings! I myself have a long resume of handling ornery folks, family squabbles, and cantankerous curmudgeons that could make your head swim – or just get you downright angry.

What is the source of conflict among you? What is the source of your disputes? Don’t they come from your cravings that are at war in your own lives? You long for something you don’t have, so you commit murder. You are jealous for something you can’t get, so you struggle and fight. You don’t have because you don’t ask. You ask and don’t have because you ask with evil intentions, to waste it on your own cravings. (James 4:1-3, CEB)      

Within the church there are expectations, whether they are reasonable or not. If those expectations are not fulfilled, people feel unfulfilled. So, they look to put unnecessary burdens on those entering the faith – to make them pay their dues by observing rules that they themselves aren’t even able to keep.

Conflict begins with some kind of desire. If unmet, it becomes a demand. And demanding something usually leads to judging other people. After all, if you really care about me and my group, you will meet these demands (desires). If left unchecked and unresolved, the progression ends in trying to punish others by simply withdrawing from a relationship with the intent of hurting another.

A focus on reaching out, on rebuilding and restoring lives, puts our efforts where they need to be – and puts us on the same page together, acting out of a sense of purpose, not preservation.

Today’s New Testament lesson deals with the conflict and debate surrounding gentile inclusion into the family of God. The success of Paul’s missionary journeys in reaching non-Jewish peoples and establishing churches, created tension as to whether these new believers ought to become Jewish in order to be Christian.

This question was at the heart of why the Council at Jerusalem was convened. Those who believed that Gentiles need to become Jews, demanded that the they be circumcised and observe the Law of Moses. Others, including Paul and Barnabas, believed that sort of thinking and approach was contrary to the gospel.

The Apostle Peter was there and gave his own experience of observing God work among Cornelius, a Gentile. Peter’s story was more than personal testimony; it was a powerful theological argument about what God was doing and what God is up to with all people, not just the Jews.

Peter’s story demonstrated that God (and not Paul or anybody else) is responsible for including Gentiles among God’s people without making them Jewish. It was God who called and cleansed Gentiles – making no distinction between them and Jews.

People are justified and made right by God’s grace, and not by human judgments of who can be in or out. The upshot of the whole thing is this: We believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, both Jew and Gentile. Period.

The only thing needed from Gentiles is to believe, because salvation is an act of God’s grace, and not the result of human effort.

What’s more, the inclusion of non-Jewish persons as the people of God is nothing new; it has always been there in the Old Testament Scriptures. And they were never called to become just like Jews in order to be the people of God. (Amos 9:11-12)

This is instructive for all contemporary faith communities. Our mission is not to make followers of me or you or of a particular faith tradition, but to make disciples of Jesus Christ. Grace brings us in, grace keeps us in, and grace will lead us home.

Our focus is to be on openness, connection, and inclusion, and not in seeking to be closed-minded and closed-hearted – separating from those different from us and practicing exclusion. The following ways may be helpful in fostering a more generous gospel:

Talk less, listen more. Don’t interrupt. Do give focused attention. Use respectful language. Ask how others prefer to be addressed and how they refer to themselves. Asking is a sign of care and respect for the person you are talking to, and is also a way to help them feel safe and comfortable.

Be open. Don’t stereotype. One person doesn’t represent an entire group of people. There are different Christian traditions throughout the world. And there are also different traditions and ways within all major religions, as well as within all people groups, institutions, organizations, communities, races, ethnicities, and genders. Seek to learn, rather than superimpose what you think onto someone else.

Become self-aware. Understand that, although all persons are created in the image of God and are equal before the Lord, there is not equity in human organizations and systems. Being aware of our own privileges is a crucial first step to adopting a more inclusive attitude.

Stay curious. To remain curious means to seek people and situations that allow us to challenge (both in a positive and negative way) our beliefs and our cultural and personal patterns of thinking, worshiping, working, and living.

Generally speaking, exclusion creates conflict, whereas inclusion gives space for others to explore and discover what it means to live into their faith and spirituality.

Loving Lord, give us strength so that we can build places of belonging: To create a community for all to share their gifts, to know that each of us is loved, to help us to see the light of Christ in all that we serve. Help us remember that each of us is loved and important. Amen.

Daniel 1:1-21 – Cultural Humility

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment

In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia and put in the treasure house of his god.

Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility—young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”

Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” So, he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.

At the end of the ten days, they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. So, the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. The king talked with them, and he found no one equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so, they entered the king’s service. In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.

And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus. (New International Version)

Cultural humility is a humble and respectful attitude toward individuals of other cultures that pushes one to challenge their own cultural biases, realize they cannot possibly know everything about other cultures, and approach learning about other cultures as a lifelong goal and process.

Daniel is a much revered biblical figure. And for good reason. He exhibits the best qualities of humanity.

The mighty Babylonian Empire invaded Judah, tore down the wall of Jerusalem, seized the Temple, and carried off the best and the brightest Jews to Babylonia for service to the powerful King Nebuchadnezzar.

By the king’s orders, the young men were given to Ashpenaz, the head official, to be trained in the cultural ways of the Babylonians. And this is where it gets interesting. The interaction between Daniel and Ashpenaz is a master class in cultural competence and cultural humility.

Cultural competence emphasizes the knowledge of the person in the majority. Cultural humility, however, allows other people to share their own experiences.

Cultural humility is about curiosity. The real discovery, and real competence, is in knowing there’s something you may not understand about another individual or group. Being open to finding out or figuring out what that difference is, is the humble curiosity which can lead to new and good possibilities.

Daniel and the others were forcibly taken from their home. They are in a strange place and are not about to acquiesce in becoming Babylonians instead of a Jews.

Ashpenaz was given a clear task by the king, which was essentially to make Babylonians out of them. This could be an explosive situation. Yet, it wasn’t, because both Ashpenaz and Daniel were willing to have some cultural humility about their situation.

The humility of Daniel, his way of being civil and present, opened the way for Ashpenaz to listen. The young men did not want to go against their religious convictions. At this point, Ashpenaz took the way of humility. He learned something about these Jewish men under his charge. Instead of filing that information away in his head or in some papyrus library, Ashpenaz became open to Daniel’s suggestion.

And, as it turns out, both Ashpenaz and the Babylonians were much better off because of two men’s interactions based in humility. Furthermore, Daniel and the others navigated a dicey situation and came out holding to their integrity, not to mention their lives.

Ashpenaz was not only willing to learn about another culture (cultural competence) but took the next necessary step in letting that knowledge affect how he went about his job. The open discussion about differences is what led to belonging.

Today, we must realize that the idea you can arm yourself with a body of knowledge about a culture and believe that’s all you need to do, doesn’t give anyone or any culture much space to change. In other words, knowledge by itself isn’t being inclusive of another’s perspective or ways. Knowledge alone doesn’t bring connection between differing people.

We need people (you and me!) who are willing to be curious and take the understanding we have about another culture and pursue changing something that isn’t right in our own culture. We must have people who are humble enough to discern that our own cultures have their good practices and their bad approaches.

Daniel wasn’t obnoxious about what he wanted and didn’t decry or verbally attack Ashpenaz and the Babylonian culture. And Ashpenaz didn’t simply ignore Daniel and force cultural colonization on him and the others.

This interaction between two people was the seed which eventually led to the Jews leaving exile and returning to Jerusalem. I doubt that ever would have happened, had Daniel and Ashpenaz held tightly to cultural pride.

Holy God, who sent your only Son Jesus Christ to be crucified for our sins, have mercy upon me. May I follow in his example, leading and loving in great humility, for you oppose the proud but raise up the humble. Help me to be gracious, patient, loving, and kind in every interaction, especially with those who are very different than myself. Amen.