Tag: true self

I Want To Know Christ (Philippians 3:7-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment
Jesus Christ and the Apostles, by Nikolas Martínez Ortiz de Zarate (1907-1990)

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. (New International Version)

Whenever someone asks me what my favorite portion of Holy Scripture is, I reflexively turn to these verses in our New Testament lesson for today.

I resonate with these words from the Apostle Paul to the Church at Philippi, because they match what I truly believe, and how I really feel about Jesus.

We go through a lot of loss in this earthly life. We experience hardship and adversity. We grieve and lament.

Some of the losses in this life, we are okay with, or at least, we come around to being okay with them after a bit of time. Yet, there are other losses that are heartrending.

On the flipside, there are many gains we experience in this life. Some of them we worked very hard for, and others came to us as gifts.

Oftentimes, our gains and our losses are inextricably bound with each other. Something we consider precious is lost. We may even choose to set aside or give up something we have – we allow it become lost – so that we can gain something even better.

At other times, the process of gaining, losing, then gaining something good was not purposed by us, but by God.

And, to me, that’s probably the best sort of good there is.

Another way of putting the matter is: We must let go and accept how something or someone is, before we can experience what a truly good life really is.

Jesus, by Ghanshyam Gupta

Allow me, or please indulge me, as I frame the Apostle’s words in my own sort of language:

Anything in this life that I have achieved; anything I have come to possess; any sort of position or title I hold or have held; any kind of identification I have, or prestige  I have gained, is of no value. In reality, it’s all rather worthless.

If you will let me take it even further, compared to having an authentic, real, and experiential relationship with Jesus as my Savior, my Lord, and my Friend, everything else is like a bunch of garbage. That’s how much I value Jesus. There’s no other thing, no other relationship, that comes remotely close to knowing Christ.

It isn’t so much that I found Jesus, but that he found me. So, I have a faith that’s got nothing to do with keeping up appearances or rule-keeping, or keeping ahold of anything. I have the life that is truly life.

But, oh my, there is so much more to experience and to know with Jesus! I want to experientially know the power of Christ’s mighty resurrection. I  want to be like him, and participate with him, as if Jesus were living his life through me.

And, I must tell you, I know that this sort of life means suffering. But I also know that this suffering puts me in solidarity with my Lord – which is exactly where I want to be.

I only want to live up to who I’m supposed to be in Christ, to be my true self, and not some faux Christian living according to mere rules and regulations. The only thing that counts to me is faith expressing itself through love.

I understand that I took a lot of liberties with the text, and elaborated on it in order to make it my own. But, truth be told, we all need to find ways to make scripture as our own.

We all must let go of some old ways and unlearn a lot of things, in order to discover new life and be united with Christ. Everyone needs to learn from the past, so that we can live a new life here in the present.

If you don’t like my words, that’s fine. You aren’t under any obligation to read them. Yet, I do believe we have an obligation to Holy Scripture, and specifically, to ingest it as if it were the best meal you’ve ever eaten.

Indeed, we end up experiencing a lot of losses in this life. Yet, with Jesus, we will never lose him, because he will never forsake us. Christ is our eternal gain. He’s alive, always living, so that we need never be concerned about him not existing anymore.

That’s my faith. That’s what I trust in, or rather whom I put my faith in, and my trust upon. It’s all about Jesus. Anything less will not stand the test of time, nor of satisfaction in life.

What will you do with Jesus?

Christ isn’t going to strongarm you into the kingdom of God. But he will doggedly go after you, and be a pester pup in your ears and an ever-present sense in your heart.

You might as well go ahead and consider him, or perhaps reconsider him, like you’ve never done before.

After all, you’ve really got nothing to lose.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,

the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one being with the Father;
through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary,
and became truly human.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end. – The Nicene Creed, on Jesus Christ

The Almighty Has Dealt Bitterly with Me (Ruth 1:18-22)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Statue of Ruth and Naomi, by Leonard Baskin (1922-2000)

When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them,

“Call me no longer Naomi;
    call me Mara,
    for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me.
I went away full,
    but the Lord has brought me back empty;
why call me Naomi
    when the Lord has dealt harshly with me
    and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

So Naomi returned together with Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, who came back with her from the country of Moab. They came to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest. (New Revised Standard Version)

A famine in Judah had brought Naomi and her husband Elimelech to the country of Moab. While there, they had two sons who eventually married two Moabite women: Orpah and Ruth. Over time, each of the husbands died, leaving Naomi and her two daughters-in-law as widows.

Naomi heard that things were finally better in her native Judah. So, she decided to go there, alone. Naomi encouraged her daughters-in-law to remain with their own people and remarry. Orpah did so. Ruth, however, wasn’t having it.

Ruth was determined to stay with her mother-in-law – which meant that she would enter Judah as a foreigner. Despite Naomi’s insistence that Ruth do what is best for herself, Ruth stuck with Naomi.

Once they arrived, the people of Naomi’s hometown were surprised to see the two of them. Naomi was not shy about communicating her bitterness in losing a husband and two sons. She commented that God had turned against her and made her life hard and bitter.

In saying that the Lord had emptied her and brought calamity, Naomi was not speaking against God. Rather, Naomi was expressing some significant theology that has become lost to many modern day Christians around the globe.

Ruth and Naomi, by Morris Nathanson (1927-2022)

I believe that Ruth was not expressing something malevolent about God, but rather made a statement of faithful recognition, not unlike what Job had to say when he lost his family and his health:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21, NRSV)

No one can escape the dark side of life. Yet, we can deal with that darkness intelligently. It is most necessary to be aware that light creates a shadow that was not there before. The bigger and brighter the light, the bigger and darker the shadow.

There is a centuries old idiom which says, “You can’t have your cake, and eat it, too!” This is a proverbial way of saying that we cannot expect everything to always be good in this life; we must also accept that we cannot always have our way, and that we will go without, experiencing loss.

Whether we want to acknowledge it, or not, an integral part of life is receiving some bad things from God. The Lord does not just go around dispensing everyone’s wishes and making everything a utopia of unicorns and butterflies.

God is most certainly benevolent; yet God also brings darkness to people. We cannot have the Light of the world without experiencing the world’s darkness. Another way of stating this is that a very big God creates quite a large shadow.

In Christianity, the predominant symbol is the cross. The Cross of Christ is both light and dark. Christians may reflexively associate the cross with salvation from sin, while forgetting that the cross is an instrument of torture and death, a tool of execution, like an electric chair.

We must honor the axis crossing at the center of the cross. It is the place of equilibrium, the place of wholeness, where we have the opportunity of integrating all of that unwanted grief and loss into our lives. Failing to do this, let alone neglecting to acknowledge the shadowy places of our hearts, brings harm and hurt to ourselves and to the world.

Naomi acknowledged the shadow. She accepted the darkness, which enabled her to return to her homeland of Judah, the very place where the God of light and dark is worshiped.

I’m not talking about the sort of darkness that is malevolent and mean-spirited, the darkness which comes from Satan. I’m talking about the darkness which weans us away from all things and the ways that hinder us from knowing God.

This is what St. John of the Cross was referring to in naming the dark night of the soul. In our quest to experience union with God, we journey through the darkness, and learn that purification isn’t simply putting something impure away. Purity of heart comes through joining with the God who is pure love itself.

“In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.”

St. John of the Cross

God loves us so much as to be nailed to a cross and suffer darkness. The Christian is to take up their cross and follow Jesus. That is, we embrace the darkness with an honest engagement of God and God’s world, and through a vulnerable assessment of our own shadow.

For if we fail to acknowledge our shadow, we shall fail to be in union with God.

Not only do many people disown the parts of themselves they don’t like, but they do the same with God – thus making God into their own image of how God should be, instead of taking God as God is.

If you have ears to hear, take this to heart: To accept and honor your own shadow is a profound and necessary spiritual discipline. By “shadow” I mean all of the characteristics of myself that I withhold from others, so that they will only see what I want them to see.

We often put a false self out into the world, for others to see. It is a sort of psychological clothing we wear, much as we have actual clothing. Whether the clothes are real or metaphorical, we dress ourselves in the particular way we want to be seen.

Naomi was a true Israelite, showing her honest true self. There was no separation or division between the inner self and the self she presented to others.

I tend to think that Naomi knew something about God that many don’t know today – and was therefore able to be faithful to both her people and her God.

It is no wonder, then, that Ruth wanted to remain with her mother-in-law Naomi, who was a real person acknowledging the real God.

Almighty God and Father, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen: You are the God of light who illumines our way. And You are the God of darkness who is shadowed in mystery. In knowing You, may I know myself; and in knowing myself, may I more fully know You. Amen.

I Concede (Job 42:1-6, 10-17)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
By Bible Art

Then Job answered the Lord:

“I know that you can do all things
    and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me that I did not know.
‘Hear, and I will speak;
    I will question you, and you declare to me.’
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
    but now my eye sees you;
therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

…And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job when he had prayed for his friends, and the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. 

Then all his brothers and sisters came to him, and all who had known him before, and they ate bread with him in his house; they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him; and each of them gave him a piece of money and a gold ring. 

The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning, and he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand donkeys. He also had seven sons and three daughters. He named the first Jemimah, the second Keziah, and the third Keren-happuch. In all the land there were no women so beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father gave them an inheritance along with their brothers. 

After this Job lived one hundred and forty years and saw his children and his children’s children, four generations. And Job died, old and full of days. (New Revised Standard Version)

Job is restored, by William Blake (1757-1827)

Job was in awful suffering. He contended with God about it. Job’s friends contended with Job. In the end, God never gave a humanly suitable answer to the problem of suffering. Namely, because we cannot understand the answer, even if it is provided.

Indeed, the gap between God and humanity is quite pronounced. God is the Creator. We are creatures. Yet, God did vindicate Job.

That’s right God affirmed Job – and not Job’s companions. Even though Job did what many a believer in God today believes is wrong, perhaps even sacrilegious or sinful.

Job argued, confronted, grappled with, and even opposed God for the terrible troubles he faced in losing his family, his wealth, and his health. He fully engaged God.

Job’s friends, however, did no such thing. Instead, they argued, confronted, grappled with, and even opposed their friend Job. They fully avoided God.

In the end, Job conceded that he himself knows nothing. Yet, there is still the hint of complaint within him. This is good. Job did not stop engaging God. He remained faithful and devoted.

Let us never believe that faithfulness and devotion to God involves putting up a false front and nice polite piety. Prayer, in truth, is a hard wrestling with God, a struggling and working through all the difficulties of this unfair life.

God is not the least offended by our full, real, and raw engagement of him. But God is offended by avoiding such engagement altogether.

All of us, in reality, speak mostly in ignorance. We talk about things we don’t really understand. The only thing we can be 100% truthful about, however, is ourselves – about how we are really doing, feeling, experiencing, believing, struggling with, etc.

I myself am the true expert on me – and you, the expert on you. And this truth I can bring to God anytime, anywhere. The Book of Job affirms to me that this is the sort of devotion and sacrifice which the Lord is pleased with.

Job gained some knowledge and understanding through personally encountering God. The Lord God almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, actually spoke to Job in a direct revelation of the Divine presence.

This is an affirmation of Job’s integrity. But the godless, disintegrated, and fragmented person cannot see God or expect a personal audience with God.

Through all that Job had been through, he held to his integrity, and held onto God, both at the same time. In the end, he still did not understand why he had to go through such horrible suffering.

English translations of the Hebrew text don’t do it justice. There is always something lost in translation of any language to another. And it seems what is lost here is that Job was perhaps still protesting at the end. Yet, it comes across in English as Job despising and abhorring himself, as if he had done something very wrong.

“I despise myself,” misses the mark. Without getting into some deep grammatical Hebrew waters, I wonder if the phrase might better be rendered, “I protest.” What is meant to be conveyed is that Job still acknowledges what he originally held onto. Namely, that he has done nothing wrong, did not deserve what he went through, yet has never rejected God, nor lost faith in God.

Job did not need to repent of some secret sin, as his friends supposed. Job repenting does not mean because of sin; Job’s repentance was a change of position from mourner and complainer, to accepting the situation as it is, without answers.

So, this brings us back to the beginning of the book. God is God. There are celestial forces and operations in play we know nothing about. Humans are not God. Humans are never going to get most of what is happening in this world. And humans will inevitably experience hard and bad things – and not know why.

No answers given. No change of situation (yet). But Job changed. He changed his mind about how to live with what he was experiencing. He relinquished his complaint, and decided to keep living, even though he did not get answers.

Honestly, this response of Job is more consistent with my own experience of awful suffering, and more faithful to the text of Scripture. Much like Jacob wrestling with the angel, Job had to finally concede and relent, and continue on his life journey, come what may.

Following Job’s intercession for his friends, God restored Job to wealth and family. A significant piece of this restoration was Job’s wider community of friends and family who gathered around him, giving Job the consolation and comfort that the three “friends” in the book did not provide.

The community cared for Job, not through nice theological phrases, but with genuine fellowship. They shared together around the table, the community giving both a meal and contributing monetary gifts for Job’s needs.

The Book of Job ends, perhaps with as many, or more, questions than when it started. Answers, however, are not the point.

Rather, Job’s incredible and awful experience of suffering and redemption becomes an invitation for you and me to have a more expansive view of what a relationship with the living God truly looks like.

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
And turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor. Amen.

Be Honest (Job 42:7-9)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Job’s Sacrifice, by William Blake (1757-1827)

After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you did not speak the truth about me, the way my servant Job did. Now take seven bulls and seven rams to Job and offer them as a sacrifice for yourselves. Job will pray for you, and I will answer his prayer and not disgrace you the way you deserve. You did not speak the truth about me as he did.”

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar did what the Lord had told them to do, and the Lord answered Job’s prayer. (Good News Translation)

After all of Job’s terrible trouble in losing everything and everyone he cared about; after all of the longwinded speeches of his supposed friends; and after God’s breaking of silence through unanswerable questions; the epilogue of the story brings us God’s verdict concerning Job and his situation.

God finally dispenses his assessment, and renders his judgment. The Lord was not at all happy with Job’s companions; and was pleased with Job. Therefore, God made a decision against the companions, and for Job.

Four times in three verses, God refers to Job as “my servant,” but does not describe the friends as such. It is Job, and not Job’s friends, who spoke truth. Only Job spoke words consistent with reality.

At best, the friends spoke unhelpful words. At the worst, their words were hurtful and full of hubris. In retrospect, they probably should have at least kept their mouths shut. And ideally, they could have been true comforters, and consoled Job in his agony.

This gets at something which I believe we all need to get a firm hold upon: Not extending help, mercy, and consolation to those in dire straits, pisses-off God.

It irks God because it is a misrepresentation of God’s basic character, and distorts God’s true nature.

Being dishonest and pretending to be okay when one is not…

telling someone who is hurting to suck it up and confess their sin…

believing that the world operates according to good guys getting health and wealth, and bad guys getting sickness and poverty…

downright angers the holy and merciful God of the universe.

Job, unlike the Three Stooges he had as friends, affirmed what is right and true:

  • God is the Sovereign of the universe who dispenses both good and bad (Job 2:10)
  • God is the One who gives and who takes away (Job 1:21)
  • God is the Lord to whom we must bow in willing submission (Job 42:5-6)

In the dialogue with his friends, Job rightly insisted that God is sometimes an enemy, and that God’s inexplicable silence and absence is unjust and destructive.

I don’t want you to easily pass over what I just referred to, or to flip-out over it. In truth, God is both present and absent. And God’s absence hurts. Sometimes, it hurts like hell. We must affirm that God is sometimes silent. There are times when it feels like God is on vacation and is paying no attention.

I want you to get ahold of this important dimension to the spiritual life:

Human pretentions and posturing only present a false self to God and the world. That sort of behavior angers God. The Lord wants honest vulnerability.

Whereas Job’s friends insisted on maintaining theological respectability and an ordered theological system, Job essentially said, “To hell with all that!”

And Job was right.

Job contended with God. He cried, yelled, and exposed his innermost thoughts and feelings to God. Job was real. No phoniness existed with him. Yet, Job did not forsake God, curse God, or say there was no God.

The genuine spiritual life is always a tricky and risky combination of devotion and confrontation toward God.

Job presented his true self to God.

Job’s friends presented to God what they believed God wanted to see and hear.

There is a big difference between those two approaches.

God affirmed Job. God was against Job’s friends.

Maybe today it is necessary to rethink what you have always believed it is which gets God’s affirmation, and what raises God’s ire.

If we cannot be honest about what we are really thinking, and about how we are really doing, then we are hopeless people. In that state, no one can help us. And God is not pleased.

The final verdict of God is that only the prayers of one who speaks truth, like Job, will be effectively heard. Less honest prayers, like those of Job’s wife and friends, are foolish and ineffective.

One of the big overall messages of the Book of Job is this: For God’s sake, be honest!

My own culture is one of Midwest nice. That’s a nice way of saying that Midwesterners are mostly dishonest creatures. Every Midwesterner I know, understands being nice and polite to someone’s face, and then speaking gossip and slander to their back.

Ask any Midwestern American how they are doing, and they’ll tell you, “Just fine,” or “Great!” or “The sun is shining,” or some other deflection or blathering lie about how they are really doing. More than once, I have actually heard a depressed person with suicidal ideation tell another person that they are “doing fine today.”

That sort of claptrap gets us nowhere, especially with God. The Lord is okay with you and I telling him what we really think, even if we are extremely upset with God. God isn’t bothered by our anger, yelling, or messed-up thinking. But God is bothered by our pretending, our dishonesty, and our false presentations.

None of this means that we must wear our heart on our sleeve. In fact, I have found that persons who declare to me that they “tell it like it is,” are some of the most false people on the planet. It’s usually a sign that I’m not going to get from them how they are really feeling. It usually means they’re angry, and want to talk smack against someone, without ever examining themselves.

Don’t be a jerk. There are nice jerks, and obnoxious jerks, but in the end, they’re all just jerks. You and I really can speak honest words of truth, without being a jerk about it.

Job was honest, real, raw, hurt, angry, sad, lonely, and grieving out of his mind. And he was no jerk. And God affirmed him.

Personally, I’d rather have God’s affirmation than anyone else’s. How about you?

Almighty God, help us to speak and act truthfully in all situations. May we be honest with ourselves and with others, building trust and integrity in our relationships. Thank you for your example of truth and honesty. Help us to follow in your footsteps and to live with authenticity.

Guide us to be honest even when it is difficult, recognizing that honesty is the foundation of trust and respect. Help us to confront our own falsehoods and to seek the truth in all aspects of our lives. May we create environments where honesty is valued and encouraged, fostering open and transparent communication.

We pray for those who struggle with honesty, asking for your guidance and support in their journey towards truthfulness. Thank you for the clarity and peace that comes from living honestly. Help us to embrace and uphold this value every day. Amen.