Anxious (Genesis 32:3-21)

Jacob praying for deliverance from his brother Esau, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

Jacob sent messengers on ahead to Esau, who lived in the land of Seir, also known as Edom. Jacob told them to say to Esau, “Master, I am your servant! I have lived with Laban all this time, and now I own cattle, donkeys, and sheep, as well as many slaves. Master, I am sending these messengers in the hope that you will be kind to me.”

When the messengers returned, they told Jacob, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is heading this way with 400 men.”

Jacob was so frightened that he divided his people, sheep, cattle, and camels into two groups. He thought, “If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape.”

Then Jacob prayed:

You, Lord, are the God who was worshiped by my grandfather Abraham and by my father Isaac. You told me to return home to my family, and you promised to be with me and make me successful. I don’t deserve all the good things you have done for me, your servant. When I first crossed the Jordan, I had only my walking stick, but now I have two large groups of people and animals. Please rescue me from my brother. I am afraid he will come and attack not only me, but my wives and children as well. But you have promised that I would be a success and that someday it will be as hard to count my descendants as it is to count the grains of sand along the seashore.

After Jacob had spent the night there, he chose some animals as gifts for Esau: 200 female goats and 20 males, 200 female sheep and 20 males, 30 female camels with their young, 40 cows and 10 bulls, and 20 female donkeys and 10 males.

Jacob put servants in charge of each herd and told them, “Go ahead of me and keep a space between each herd.” Then he said to the servant in charge of the first herd, “When Esau meets you, he will ask whose servant you are. He will want to know where you are going and who owns those animals in front of you. So tell him, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob, who is coming this way. He is sending them as a gift to his master Esau.’ ”

Jacob also told the men in charge of the second and third herds and those who followed to say the same thing when they met Esau. And Jacob told them to be sure to say that he was right behind them. Jacob hoped the gifts would make Esau friendly, so Esau would be glad to see him when they met. Jacob’s men took the gifts on ahead of him, but he spent the night in camp. (Contemporary English Version)

Anxiety’s a booger. It arises as an unwanted guest within our psyche, putting pressure on our chest, and becoming a squatter in the pit of our gut. To be anxious is to have a vague sense of dread, anticipating some upcoming threat.

Jacob knew the feeling well. His mind raced with thoughts of what might happen and how to placate Esau when he encountered his brother. Jacob left home two decades earlier to escape Esau’s vengeance. Now their meeting up was imminent. Jacob was scared spitless.

What do you do when distress and dread wrap you in a straitjacket of anxiety?

Avoid avoidance

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding it prevents us from moving forward. It makes us anxious.  One way of facing your fear and/or anxiety is to name it. When fear, anxiety, terror, apprehension, or distress arises, then name it. In naming our fears and anxieties, they become real and, thus, manageable. 

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”

Thict Nhat Hanh (1926-2022)

Another way to face fear is to “sit with it” for a short while. Give yourself permission to feel the anxiety for a set amount of time without judgment or trying to get over it. Pay attention to where you are carrying your anxiety in your body.

Focus on what’s within your control

We cannot control other people. There’s no way Jacob was going to control or manipulate his brother Esau. Many circumstances are outside our control. And yet, we always have the choice of self-control. Giving into addictions, or not facing problems are ways of giving up control of ourselves. Taking good care of ourselves, and focusing on good attitudes are ways of strengthening personal control.

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder in those times when we feel out of control:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Promote a positive mindset

Positive attitudes help us widen our perspective on things – and with a broader view of things comes more awareness of choices. Making wise choices for ourselves now, builds resilience and fortifies us for difficult situations down the road – without succumbing to old unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Find purpose and meaning in life

Experiencing traumatic events might cause us to question whether our lives have meaning, or not. We may feel unnecessary or expendable, and see no meaning for the future. 

So, it’s important to discover or reconnect with the spirituality within you. Take the time and energy to read Scripture, walk through nature, or discuss matters of the spirit with others. Just as our physical spine helps to support us and is not optional, so we also have a spiritual spine that needs attention for which we cannot live without.

Get support

Other people, like trusted friends and family, can help us make a realistic assessment of the fear and anxiety we are experiencing. With the support of others, we become more confident that we can deal with issues. Finding a church or some other religious gathering can be a fresh means of emotional support.

You are not alone. We are all in this life together. So, let’s rely upon one another and not believe that we just need to pull up ourselves out of impending trouble. There is a God (and God’s people) who are ready to help, if but we just ask.

O God, preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Listen (Jeremiah 42:18-22)

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: ‘As my anger and wrath have been poured out on those who lived in Jerusalem, so will my wrath be poured out on you when you go to Egypt. You will be a curse and an object of horror, a curse and an object of reproach; you will never see this place again.’

“Remnant of Judah, the Lord has told you, ‘Do not go to Egypt.’ Be sure of this: I warn you today that you made a fatal mistake when you sent me to the Lord your God and said, ‘Pray to the Lord our God for us; tell us everything he says and we will do it.’ I have told you today, but you still have not obeyed the Lord your God in all he sent me to tell you. So now, be sure of this: You will die by the sword, famine and plague in the place where you want to go to settle.” (New International Version)

We all find ourselves in trouble at one time or another. The real issue is whether we’re in trouble for no fault of our own, or if we’re in dire straits because of our own stubbornness and stupidity.

God tends to take a lot of flack from us humans, whenever we are in the middle of trouble. Yet, much of the time, it’s our own dang fault for not listening to God in the first place.

Whenever other people are hard-hearted and unjust, we’re ready for some divine judgment to happen. But when it’s me, all I want is some mercy and grace, some understanding and acknowledgment of my predicament. We have got to realize that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Talk can be cheap. The ancient people of Judah verbally affirmed their dedication to doing what God would tell them to do. And then, like some sort of spiritual dementia, they seemed to forget everything they said, and turned around to disobey all they heard from God.

It all came down to an issue of trust. The people looked to Egypt for their deliverance from the Babylonian army, instead of turning their faces toward God and doing exactly what the Lord wanted.

So, the Lord, an ever-present power much like the force of gravity, let the people know that if they’re going to ignore that force, they’ll end up falling and breaking their bodies.

People make mistakes. They do stupid things. And they sin against God and others. It happens. But how we respond to it all is highly important. If we don’t learn from our missteps, and choose to keep living without adjusting our lives to God’s abiding presence in the world, we can expect trouble.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
    The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. (Proverbs 27:12, NLT)

The ancient people of Judah had already suffered one Babylonian invasion. Now they were faced with yet another. The people wanted to flee. But their looking to Egypt was not a wise avoidance; it was an attempt to stick their heads in the sand, to put their fingers in their ears and shut tight their eyes. Instead, they needed to stay put and face the music.

The prophet Jeremiah reminded the people that, in this situation, there was a dual danger: It’s bad to go to Egypt, so don’t do it; and it’s really bad to disobey God, so listen and do what the Lord says.

Ignorance puts everyone in jeopardy. To follow through with plans that are diametrically opposed to what God has specifically said not to do, puts the entire community in the grip of a death sentence. After all, the Lord already knows what’s up and what’s going to happen if we foolishly amble into a hornet’s nest of trouble on top of trouble.

Whenever people are cursed, it’s typically because they refuse to listen; they don’t heed the warnings and end up doing something out of their anxiety, instead of acting with wisdom.

Unnecessary suffering comes from disobedience. Disobedience is a result of ignorance. And ignorance comes from purposefully not listening to sage advice, divine commands, and the wisdom of the ages.

It all comes down to giving focused attention so that we might hear and heed the voice of God. This is why the spiritual practices of solitude, silence, stillness, and contemplative and centering prayers are so very important. It puts us in a position to listen with open ears and receptive hearts.

The following are four guidelines of centering prayer, offered by one of the masters of this form, Father Thomas Keating, Intimacy with God: An Introduction to Centering Prayer:

  1. Choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intention to consent to God’s presence and action within.
  2. Sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly, and silently introduce the sacred word as the symbol of your consent to God’s presence and action within.
  3. When engaged with your thoughts, body sensations, feelings, images, and reflections, return ever-so-gently to the sacred word.
  4. At the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes.

The best way to avoid unnecessary trouble, heed biblical warnings, and listen to the divine is by aspiring and dedicating oneself to a genuine spiritual life.

St. John of the Cross, a spiritual giant of a prayerful and listening life, wrote in the sixteenth century, “God spoke one word from all eternity and he spoke it in silence, and it is in silence that we hear it.”

The reason God is so often silent, is that silence is God’s first language; all other verbal languages are but poor translations. Centering ourselves in prayer is a needed preparation for the contemplation that enables us to hear and listen well to the language of God.

Perhaps if the people in Jeremiah’s day did so, they would not have found themselves in such a dire predicament.

Almighty and everlasting God, make me ready, when your voice is truly heard, so that I may respond with glad obedience glad and steady devotion, silent and still to follow every word. Speak, Lord, for I am listening. Amen.

Tussling with Trouble (Matthew 10:24-39)

“The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

“Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father,
    a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
    a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. (New International Version)

We can expect opposition and trouble from the world

Those who follow the words and ways of Jesus will experience hardship at the hands of others, because Christ’s values are often different than how the world’s systems typically operate. 

Being called the Devil (Beelzebul) isn’t exactly a term of endearment. There were those so upset with Jesus that they equated him with Satan. So, since Christ got this kind of verbal treatment, how much more will we be the brunt of false accusations, slander, and gossip? 

We are not above our Lord – we will be treated as he was. We cannot expect that we are above getting into trouble. Believers are promised deliverance from sin, death, and hell – and not from the meanness and ignorance of people in this present life.

Because of this reality, we need to be savvy to our situation of trouble and practice common sense, as well as have a mental disposition that thinks the best of people, and does not immediately judge and condemn others.

All of this requires us to avoid the two extremes of either simple assimilation into the culture, or rejection of the culture as evil. Both the blending into culture, and the separating from it, each share the same preferred outcome of trying to avoid opposition and trouble. 

Instead, there is a third way of being faithful to following the way of Jesus: Interact with and engage the culture as salt and light. (Matthew 5:13-16)

Assimilation causes us to lose our saltiness; and isolation hides our light. So, let’s find wise ways to understand truth and apply it in the concrete situations of life in this world. 

For example, we can discuss life issues about our jobs and school from a Christian perspective, so that we might speak into others’ lives, instead of just standing against something and complaining about it: How might we show both grace and truth in a particular situation? Are there ways we can give support without condoning something we oppose, and how?

We can expect that we are going to disrupt and upset our families and experience opposition from them

14th century fresco of Christ with a sword, in the Sacred Monastery of the Ascension of Christ Church, Kosovo

Unfortunately, opposition does not just come from the world, but within the very families and communities we love and rub shoulders with every day. Most persecution, hardship, and trouble for believers in Jesus come from family and those closet to us. 

Although I grew up in a church-going family, we never really discussed faith or Christianity. When I became serious about walking with Jesus, I faced a lack of support. I was often the brunt of teasing and verbal jabbing. My commitment to Christ had butted up against the family value of never rocking the boat. 

There was once a woman who experienced new life in Christ. When God grabbed ahold of her life, she had been on track to becoming the next Barbara Walters. But her newfound values of embracing the Beatitudes of Jesus rubbed the television broadcast world too much. 

So, she went into radio. Instead of looking toward a lucrative life on screen, she settled for less money and no fame behind the microphone of a Christian radio station. Her family didn’t understand this. And marrying a preacher didn’t help the situation any for her. To this day she still faces hardship and resentment for making decisions that did not get her the American dream.

Jesus said that anyone who wants to take the path of least resistance by not rocking the family boat with Christian love is not worthy of him. Anyone who does not take up their cross and follow Jesus in the way of trouble is not worthy of following him. 

We must die to self – which often means dying to avoidance of conflict – and become alive to the wonder of God’s mercy and love in the world.

We don’t need to be afraid of getting into trouble

Why? Because…

  1. Fear has to do with the unknown. So since we know opposition and trouble is expected, we will not live in dread of what might happen. The early Christians actually rejoiced in their suffering because they considered it a privilege to be walking in the way of Jesus. (Acts 5:27-42)
  2. You will receive special help. In times of persecution, we have a Helper, the Holy Spirit, given to us for such times as these. (John 3:34; 16:1-15)
  3. God isn’t surprised by your hardship. The Lord will eventually deal with all that is wrong in this world.
  4. The wrath of God is to be more feared than the wrath of people.
  5. God is watching over all the details of my life. If God cares for all the small details, how much more will the Lord take care of the big issues in my life?

Conclusion

It is a privilege to follow Jesus into trouble. This is what is called “upside-down” theology: 

  • In giving my life away to Jesus, I find it. 
  • In getting into trouble, I find peace. 
  • In serving and taking up our cross, there is happiness, not depression. 

Sometimes, things in the kingdom of God seem upside-down; and that is as it should be. Facing trouble is really not the worst thing to be experienced – being separated from God is. 

We are to expect opposition from the world, and from family. Yet, we need not be afraid, because tussling with trouble is part of what it means to follow Jesus – it is the way of the cross.

So, count the cost. Give your life away. In doing so, you will certainly not lose your reward from God.

One Grandfather’s Take on Marijuana

“Evil thrives on apathy and cannot exist without it.” Hannah Arendt

            Today is my birthday. I’m now 61 years old. I couldn’t have imagined, as a kid, that I’d be this old. But here I am – a husband for 38 years, a father of three precocious daughters, and, of all things, a grandfather of four boys. As a kid, I was largely clueless about a lot of things, which is the way it’s supposed to be. But, as an adult, if we aren’t aware of what’s happening – especially because of indifference – well then, we have the beginnings of real evil.

            The State of Wisconsin, the place I have lived for the past thirteen years, now stands out as what I describe as a marijuana desert. In every state of the union, either medical marijuana or recreational marijuana, or both, are now legal. But not Wisconsin. State Republican House Speaker, Robin Vos, has stated multiple times, “We are looking to say medical marijuana for people who have a truly awful long-term medical condition should be something we at least consider…. I don’t think recreational should ever happen.”

            My grandson is thirteen years old, and has had epilepsy his entire life. Every time my little buddy is hooked up to an EEG (used to measure the electrical activity of the brain, via electrodes applied to the scalp) the data shows that he, at times, experiences as many as three seizures per minute. 

Granted, they are rarely the grand mal, big-daddy-of-them-all, kind of seizures. Nevertheless, they are still seizures. The best pediatric doctors in the Midwest for this kind of thing tell us something that doctors aren’t prone to say, that they are stumped. Little buddy experiences up to seven different kinds of seizures, and he has defied any kind of solid diagnosis as to the nature of the epilepsy, let alone even thinking about a prognosis – other than that, if unchecked, he will not live to see adulthood. 

Yes, he is on medication – lots of it – with unimaginable side effects. Yet, without the meds, he would be having literally hundreds of seizures in any given day. Even on a good day, he has dozens. And even though most of his seizures last only a few seconds, each and every seizure damages the brain, if only a little bit. Add up the thousands of seizures over the span of a thirteen year old life, and factor the tens of thousands of them he will yet have in the next years and it, in my puny limited understanding, doesn’t look promising no matter how you examine it.

            When supposedly well-meaning politicians, pundits, religious folk, and faith communities rant about the ethics and morality of ungodly “potheads” having a legal avenue for their recreational smoking, what gets lost in the mix are children and families who could potentially be helped by legalizing marijuana – by a carefully genetically engineered strain administered medically and safely. 

In this grandfather’s mind (and heart) the greater risk is to keep doing what we’ve always done and hope that all will work out okay someday. When it pertains to a child’s life – that kind of thinking doesn’t cut it for me. It’s nothing more than the banality of evil, of keeping some political constituents happy, above thinking about the life of human beings in your own backyard.

            As a Christian Pastor, encountering this kind of ignorance amongst both politicians and parishioners is nothing new. Far too many of my denominational meetings have been given to angry persons upset about abortion and gays. Whereas there are those who believe this country is, in the words of one man, “trampling our Constitution and we are being judged as a nation for killing babies.” 

Without me even attempting to deal with any rightness or wrongness to that statement, the only kind of good that that kind of proclamation did was personal to the proclaimer – he just got something off his chest, and maybe he felt better for it. But I was left wondering: What about women who have had an abortion?  I cannot even begin to imagine that if there was a woman in the room who had an abortion in the past having to sit and listen to a guy put a label on her as a murderer. There is enough regret and grief in many a woman’s own heart without having someone twist the knife for her.

            There is a reason why many people often do not want others to know what they really think about certain issues, and why they want to keep all their skeletons in the closet. They do not want to be judged and condemned, and they have every reason to think that they will be – whenever they hear the raving of “Christians” who believe they are doing God a favor by effecting holiness through noise. 

It is imperative that we all, especially the Church, do the best we possibly can in order to create and sustain a culture of compassion and care through continual monitoring of what actually comes out of our mouths. When there are oft mentions of “the sin of homosexuality,” peppered with defamation upon LGBTQ+ folks; whenever there is a stream of hateful references to particular persons in poverty, or groups of black and brown people; and, when there is a blanket denunciation of marijuana as always being linked with persons getting high; then there is not an atmosphere of grace that leads to life, but a culture of fear that leads to death.

            Where some see the “issues” of gay marriage and transgendered inclusion, I see people created in the image of God who have the same needs of respect and equality that I do. Where some see political “issues,” I see persons in need of God’s justice and peace and basic human rights and decency.  Where some see the “issues” of poor lower class people versus upper class wealthy people; or Latin concerns versus Black concerns; or blue collar people’s agenda versus white collar people’s agenda; or plain (white) Americans versus all the other hyphenated Americans; instead, I see people – people in need of grace, mercy, and peace, just like me, who need a seat at the table and are heard in their own right with listening ears from me.

            My daughter needs support with her special needs son who happens to have epilepsy.  I am glad I can be there for her and for him. I am glad my church and many others care about them. This old sinful world has enough shame and pain in it without adding to the pile through ignorance and strife. Before we use our tongues, let’s have some working knowledge and some basic education about what we are talking about.  Most of all, let’s have some basic decorum and some working knowledge of God’s grace.

            So, this grandfather says to those in political power: “Do you consider this situation of a young boy with a terminal condition of epilepsy acceptable?” Evidently so since lawmakers have purposely dragged their feet for years about medical marijuana. There are times when individuals need to be called out, and a situation must be named for what it is. This grandfather, for one, is calling out the Wisconsin legislature, along with Speaker Vos, and naming this for what it is: indifference to human suffering.

            As of today, it is unfortunately too late for my grandson to have any significant assistance from medical marijuana in the form of cannabis oil for his condition. His epilepsy has come too far, and his brain has simply had far too many seizures. The hard reality is that, apart from a miraculous divine intervention, my grandson (who, I might add, is one of the nicest people of any age you’ll ever meet) will likely never see adulthood. But that wasn’t true 10 years ago, when I was writing letters and, evidently, speaking into the wilderness – getting form letter responses, if any response, at all.

            The time for consideration is past. Debate the “issue” of marijuana all you want. Meanwhile, there are people in Wisconsin who live with chronic pain and have to cross state lines just to get some help and a bit of relief from their chronic conditions. It is not supposed to be this way. And it does not have to be this way. Never mind that medical marijuana has been shown to significantly reduce and even eliminate some seizures in children. Ears have been stopped up and eyes wide shut for so long that hearts have become hard – and cannot even have compassion on children who are, frankly and literally, dying.

            There is a biblical proverb which states, “People who respect others will be blessed, but stubborn people will have plenty of troubles.” (Proverbs 28:14) We expect kids to be immature. And we expect the adults in the room to have the requisite growth over a period of time in order to make wise, responsible, and mature decisions. It looks like there are lot of politicians in need of remedial learning. Their stubbornness has already led to too much trouble for all of us.

*The Epilepsy Foundation exists to lead the fight to overcome the challenges of living with epilepsy and to accelerate therapies to stop seizures, find cures, and save lives. For more information, you may go to their website at epilepsy.com

**To learn more about epilepsy in Wisconsin, go to their website at epilepsywisconsin.org

***For information on medical marijuana and epilepsy: epilepsy.com/treatment/alternative-therapies/medical-marijuana