Well, now I’ve done it! I’ve made a complete fool of myself by going on like this. But it’s not all my fault; you put me up to it. You should have been doing this for me, sticking up for me and commending me instead of making me do it for myself. You know from personal experience that even if I’m a nobody, a nothing, I wasn’t second-rate compared to those big-shot apostles you’re so taken with. All the signs that mark a true apostle were in evidence while I was with you through both good times and bad: signs of portent, signs of wonder, signs of power. Did you get less of me or of God than any of the other churches? The only thing you got less of was less responsibility for my upkeep. Well, I’m sorry. Forgive me for depriving you.

Everything is in readiness now for this, my third visit to you. But don’t worry about it; you won’t have to put yourselves out. I’ll be no more of a bother to you this time than on the other visits. I have no interest in what you have—only in you. Children shouldn’t have to look out for their parents; parents look out for the children. I’d be most happy to empty my pockets, even mortgage my life, for your good. So how does it happen that the more I love you, the less I’m loved?

And why is it that I keep coming across these whiffs of gossip about how my self-support was a front behind which I worked an elaborate scam? Where’s the evidence? Did I cheat or trick you through anyone I sent? I asked Titus to visit, and sent some brothers along. Did they swindle you out of anything? And haven’t we always been just as aboveboard, just as honest?

I hope you don’t think that all along we’ve been making our defense before you, the jury. You’re not the jury; God is the jury—God revealed in Christ—and we make our case before him. And we’ve gone to all the trouble of supporting ourselves so that we won’t be in the way or get in the way of your growing up.

I do admit that I have fears that when I come you’ll disappoint me and I’ll disappoint you, and in frustration with each other everything will fall to pieces—quarrels, jealousy, flaring tempers, taking sides, angry words, vicious rumors, swelled heads, and general bedlam. I don’t look forward to a second humiliation by God among you, compounded by hot tears over that crowd that keeps sinning over and over in the same old ways, who refuse to turn away from the pigsty of evil, sexual disorder, and indecency in which they wallow. (The Message)

Criticism is hard to take. It’s even tougher when the criticism is off because you have been misinterpreted or misunderstood. And it’s more difficult to deal with criticism whenever you know you’ve done your best and accomplished good things. There are people who ought to have your back, but instead they do just the opposite and throw you under the bus.

This was the situation with the Apostle Paul. He had spent a good deal of time in the city of Corinth proclaiming the good news of Jesus and establishing a church. It was a rough ministry, filled with plenty of relational drama. (Acts 18:1-18)

Perhaps then, it is no surprise that as the church developed and grew, the people gathered themselves into special interest groups according to both their class and their affinity for particular preachers. Add to this the reality that many of the new Christians continued to embrace some of their old unhealthy practices, and you have the makings of a contentious and critical group of people. (1 Corinthians 1:10-12; 3:1-4; 11:17-22)

It is oddly surreal for Paul to have to defend himself – especially since he put so much ministry effort and wise exhortation into their church and their spiritual lives. Yet here he is needing to remind the Corinthians of his abilities, what he has done, and his credentials as a legitimate Apostle.

The following are some ways I observe how the Apostle Paul dealt with criticism:

1. Accepting that criticism is going to happen. Paul knew that his life as an Apostle was on full display for all to see and evaluate. He did not always get things right. No one does. Yet Paul was on target about most things. He rarely got stuck on any one leadership decision. And he never let criticism, pushback, or even persecution deter him from his missionary purpose.
2. Evaluating all things according to Christian standards. The farther people are from the problem, the less context and understanding they have. That’s why Paul planned to see them face to face. The story the Corinthians were telling themselves was inaccurate – filled with perceived motives and false conjectures about Paul and his ministry. Paul stayed focused on the gospel and the values it espouses.
3. Keeping shame out of the conversation. We all naturally feel defensive when attacked, especially if it feels unjust, exaggerated, or inaccurate. And we may want to shame people into feeling guilt and becoming repentant. But any defensiveness on our part will only fuel people’s derision.
4. Being transparent and vulnerable. Paul told them how he felt without making it a guilt trip. He was even sarcastic, at times. Maybe it seems counterintuitive, but more transparency works in our favor, and not against it. People get frustrated, hurt, angry, and confused about what we do and say. Our job isn’t to determine whether those feelings are legitimate or not, but instead to demonstrate empathy and concern. Doing anything that conveys dismissiveness risks making people feel like you’re gaslighting them.
5. Acting on the problem. Paul doubled down on his commitment to transmitting Christian core values, and ensuring that a culture of Christian ethics reached every corner of the church.

It doesn’t feel good to get criticized, especially when it seems unwarranted. If we can stay focused on caring about our values and other people, we will likely handle it well. Because it’s not a matter of if we get criticized, but when.

Almighty and everlasting God, help me to have no corrupt communication proceed out of my mouth, but only words which are good, gracious, and edifying. And I pray for Christ’s Church everywhere, that all of our conversations will influence others for good and build up one another in the faith, through Jesus our Lord, in the strength of the Holy Spirit. Amen.