Her people recall the good life
that once was theirs;
now they suffer
and are scattered.
No one was there to protect them
from their enemies who sneered
when their city was taken.
Jerusalem’s horrible sins
have made the city a joke.
Those who once admired her
now hate her instead—
she has been disgraced;
she groans and turns away.
Her sins had made her filthy,
but she wasn’t worried
about what could happen.
And when Jerusalem fell,
it was so tragic.
No one gave her comfort
when she cried out,
“Help! I’m in trouble, Lord!
The enemy has won.”
Zion’s treasures were stolen.
Jerusalem saw foreigners
enter her place of worship,
though the Lord
had forbidden them
to belong to his people.
Everyone in the city groans
while searching for food;
they trade their valuables
for barely enough scraps
to stay alive.
Jerusalem shouts to the Lord,
“Please look and see
how miserable I am!”
No passerby even cares.
Why doesn’t someone notice
my terrible sufferings?
You were fiercely angry, Lord,
and you punished me
worst of all.
From heaven you sent a fire
that burned in my bones;
you set a trap for my feet
and made me turn back.
All day long you leave me
in shock from constant pain.
You have tied my sins
around my neck,
and they weigh so heavily
that my strength is gone.
You have put me in the power
of enemies too strong for me.
You, Lord, have turned back
my warriors and crushed
my young heroes.
Judah was a woman untouched,
but you let her be trampled
like grapes in a wine pit. (Contemporary English Version)
“The darker the night, the brighter the stars. The deeper the grief, the closer is God.”
Fyodor Dostoevsky
The only way to the mountain is through the valley. The only way to make the pain go away is to move through it – not by avoiding it, pretending it’s not there, or trying to move around it. Pain and suffering are inevitable; misery is optional.
The reality is that, when experiencing catastrophic loss, you and I will grieve forever. We shall never “get over” it; we only learn to live with it.
Yes, I do believe there is spiritual and emotional healing. Significant change and grinding loss doesn’t need to define who we are. We can rebuild ourselves around the loss we have suffered.
Yes, you and I will be whole again. However, we shall never ever be the same again. It isn’t possible – nor should it be.
The prophet Jeremiah, the exiles in Babylon, and the remaining people of Jerusalem faced a tremendous and heartbreaking adjustment to a new world full of changes and losses. Expressing that grief was central to not becoming stuck in the past, living in the here and now, and moving into the future.
Grief is the normal mental, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical response to any significant change or loss. Grief is not optional but necessary. It is our personhood’s way of facing the pain and moving through it to a place of finding renewed meaning, support, and purpose in life.
How do people move through the grief?
- Community: Grief needs a witness. It must be expressed. We must tell our stories of life, love, and loss. Otherwise, the grief just sits unmoved deep within and eventually becomes gangrene of the soul.
Help carry each other’s burdens. In this way you will follow Christ’s teachings.
Galatians 6:2, GW
- Connection: Grief doesn’t so much go away as it morphs into fond memories of remembrance through ritual behavior.
Then Jesus took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” (Luke 22:19, NRSV)
- Character: No one is defined by their grief, their disease, their mental disorder, their disability, or their addiction. In many religious traditions, people are identified as carrying the image and likeness of G-d.
God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.
After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. (Romans 8:29-30, MSG)
- Care: Practice caring for yourself. Give yourself the grace and the permission to be happy… or sad… or angry – to feel what you need to feel. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, CEB)
- Compare not: Please do not compare your grief and loss with anyone else’s. The truth is this: The absolute worst loss is your loss, not somebody else’s.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18, NIV)
- Count: Count your wins. Count your blessings. Say them out loud. Write them down. Share them with a friend or loved one.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy. (Psalm 103:2-4, ESV)
Sometimes, prayer is the only possible way forward. Maybe the Lord will once again hear us and respond, as of old:
“I have surely seen the affliction of my people… I have heard their cry… for I know their sorrows.” (Exodus 3:7, NET)
May the presence of the Lord melt your fear and discouragement. May God strengthen and help you. May the Lord lift you and hold you in gracious and compassionate hands. Amen.
Rev. Tim Ehrhardt 