Tag: self image

Love Never Fails

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

“When we ask whether someone is a good man, we are not asking what he believes, or hopes, but what he loves.” St. Augustine

I believe there are few things in life which have sustainability and permanence, things which make the world go ‘round. Love is one of them; maybe even the greatest of them.

Love Language

And yet, in the English language, we really only have one word for “love.” That strikes me as curious and interesting.

I enjoy language and languages, as well as the use and smithing of words. One observation I’ve made about language is that any particular society, culture, or nation has several words for whatever is important or valuable to them.

For example, Indonesia has seven different words for the one English word “rice.” Since rice is so vital to the life of the people, it makes sense that they have several words to bring out all of the various nuances of “rice.”

By contrast, the West simply places adjectives in front of “rice” when needed (i.e. white or brown or jasmine). So, what does it say about us, about me and my fellow Americans, when we have only one word for “love?”

We certainly have plenty of words for “money.” It does little good to even use the word “money” unless one is speaking in very general terms. Americans make liberal use of words like “stocks and bonds,” “cash,” “checking and savings accounts,” etc. We even have several words for institutions which handle money: banks, savings and loans, credit unions, and mutual organizations.

Indeed, what does it say about us that we have a plethora of words for money? What’s more, in contrast to our one word for “love,” what does this tell us about Western society in general?

No wonder that American society has a love problem. Even when we borrow words for love from other languages, we seem to transform it into something else.

The Greek word “phileo” is engrafted into many of our English words such as philosophy (love of wisdom); philanthropy (love of humanity); or Philadelphia (brotherly love).

Often the last thing on our minds about the city of Philadelphia is an association with love; philanthropy is widely understood as being generous with one’s money (there it is again!); and few people think of love when describing philosophy.

Please know that it’s not my purpose to rant about American culture. I just want us to think about how we tend to use the word, and the implications of that use.

Oftentimes, I find that my own understanding of the word tends to be in contrast with so many other uses of “love.”

St. Augustine and Love

I admit to being influenced most heavily by St. Augustine and Holy Scripture. Augustine was enamored with love. That’s likely because he knew what it felt like to be on the outside of God’s redeeming love in Christ. For Augustine, love explains everything. Love is to be our true nature, and the proper direction of everything we say and do in this world, insisted Augustine.

Augustine, of course, derived his understanding from Jesus – especially from the New Testament Gospels:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 22:37-39, NIV

Unless there is love, we go nowhere – which is precisely what seems to be happening in our world today. Apart from love, there are no social problems which can be alleviated; no wars which will stop; and no rights and respect extended to particular people. Without love, peace and happiness are nothing but a pipe dream.

It is imperative that we have a robust understanding and practice of love. If we don’t, I believe that we are ruined, no matter how savvy or powerful we are.

Designed For Love

People are designed for love; it is our very purpose. And if we go against our basic inherent design, it will be like disrespecting gravity itself by walking off the roof of the house in the wrongheaded belief that I won’t get hurt.

Fullness of life (and fullness of any religious practice) comes only through love. In Christianity, it is clearly understood that God is Love with a capital “L.” Thus, we were created in love, stamped with the image of God’s love, and expected to love one another.

Love is so ubiquitous throughout the Bible that listening to a biblical sermon on love every day for the rest of your life would not exhaust love’s height, depth, breadth, and width within Scripture.

It is an understatement to say that love is the goal of religion, the purpose for being, and the best expression of human community.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. (Galatians 5:6, NIV)

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14, NIV)

Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:10)

Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:8, NIV)

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight… (Philippians 1:9, NIV)

The thing about love is that it can either get choked-out, or it can flourish. Love gets suppressed by attaching ourselves to things rather than people. This is a gross misuse of our capacity for love. A radical detachment from stuff may be necessary in order to gain relational connection.

On the other hand, by learning to direct our love toward God and neighbor (and, by the way, our neighbor is everyone we encounter) we begin to discover the peace of being in sync with the way the universe is wired.

We need salvation from our own worldly self. For it is this false self which the devil can so easily deceive and woo us from attachments to God and neighbor. In other words, we must be saved from ourselves, because left to ourselves, there is no hope for us.

To be lost is to be fooled by my own ego that the false self is the true self. To live and love in God is the essence of the true self.

That means humility, gentleness, peaceful relations, mercy, and purity characterize us. If it doesn’t, we’ve been fooling ourselves by believing that peace can only be achieved through unconditional winning; and that I am not responsible for my neighbor’s welfare and well-being.

Here’s a little test of where you might be in your false self/true self, and in your actual ability to love: The more importance you attach to your own ideas, your own abilities, and your own work, the more you will find yourself building up the very idea of you. This inevitably comes out by condemning other people and becoming judgmental of most things they do. If we are continually critical of others, we have lost sight of love.

The true self, however, recognizes and remembers that I am made in the image and likeness of God; that God is my very reason for existence; and that, therefore, love is my true identity because God is Love.

That’s right. Love is your genuine true character, deep down. The late Trappist monk, Thomas Merton, got it right when he said:

“If I do anything or think anything or say anything or know anything that is not purely for the love of God, it cannot give me peace, or rest, or fulfillment, or joy.” Thomas Merton, Seeds of Contemplation

This is one reason why it’s so important to love my neighbor. Since God’s love is truly within me, hardwired into my very existence, this love can come to you and me from any person, any direction, any time.

Love comes not only directly from God, but also indirectly by means of the jewel of love placed within the other person I am encountering.

For it is only in love that we at last can become real. If we feel unworthy of love, we will probably feel that other persons are not worthy of it either. This is where hate is born, and why it manifests itself so hideously in a politics of hate where large groups of people are simply labeled as “monsters” or “evil.”

But that’s really only a projection of how the person feels about themselves. And the only way out of it for the hateful person is to know that they are loved – irrespective of one’s worth.

If and when we become out of sorts, it is best to come back to love. Which means returning to my first and original love, God; and to the love that I actually have for the people in my family and my life.

Maybe it’s high time we start inventing all sorts of new words for love in the English language. Because, after all is said and done, Love never fails.

Fear vs. Faith (Numbers 13:1-2, 17-33; 14:1-9)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
The Spies Return with Discordant Views, by Yoram Raanan

The Lord said to Moses, “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders”…

When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he said, “Go up through the Negev and on into the hill country. See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many. What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Are there trees in it or not? Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land.” (It was the season for the first ripe grapes.)

So they went up and explored the land from the Desert of Zin as far as Rehob, toward Lebo Hamath. They went up through the Negev and came to Hebron, where Ahiman, Sheshai and Talmai, the descendants of Anak, lived. (Hebron had been built seven years before Zoan in Egypt.) 

When they reached the Valley of Eshkol, they cut off a branch bearing a single cluster of grapes. Two of them carried it on a pole between them, along with some pomegranates and figs. That place was called the Valley of Eshkol because of the cluster of grapes the Israelites cut off there. At the end of forty days they returned from exploring the land.

They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. They gave Moses this account:

“We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.”

Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”

But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

That night all the members of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them:

“If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.”

Then Moses and Aaron fell face down in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly:

“The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” (New International Version)

“Pessimism has done infinitely more harm than atheism.”

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Fear can be debilitating. At its core, we fear either what we don’t know, or believe to be bad. For example, if I am convinced that my boss does not have my best interests at mind, then I will likely be afraid and hold back.

The majority of the ancient Israelites were paralyzed by fear because of the anxiety and fearfulness of those who came back from spying out the Promised Land. They had a low view of God. Yet Caleb, and only a few others, acknowledged that God is good for divine promises, and so, trusted the Lord completely in confidence, not fear.

If we view God as being angry all the time, then we will not use the incredible gifts given to us for fear of messing up and bringing divine wrath upon us. We will be plagued with uncertainty and only see giants in the land who we cannot begin to deal with.

Yet, if we commit ourselves to knowing God through seeking the divine will and trusting in divine promises, then we understand that God is gracious and generous, always having our backs. We live by faith, not by sight, and discern that giants in the land are really nothing more than gnats.

Fear is maybe the devil’s greatest tool to prevent God’s people from being productive and responsible in serving the church and the world. Beneath that fear are powerful feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and a low view of self – which is really born of a low view of God. Being afraid wastes what impact a person could have for God, and waters-down life so that it’s ineffective.

Enjoy the Lord, and he will give what your heart asks.

Psalm 37:4, CEB

We are to enjoy the gracious and generous God; and in our enjoyment, the Lord places within us godly dreams that are a delight for God to fulfill. Our enjoyment of the Lord gives us the security and confidence to act upon those godly desires and wed them to divine promises from Holy Scripture.   

But put fear in the mix, and it dilutes and destroys everything. It makes you do nothing. And the fear is a result of not knowing the Lord, of not seeking God’s mind or will.

God had a grand vision and a big dream for the Israelites to enter the Promised Land. But ten of the twelve spies who came back after checking out the land were paralyzed by fear, feeling like grasshoppers next to the people in the land. 

Caleb and Joshua, however, had a different view of taking the land because they had a different view of God. They didn’t see giants – they saw a gracious and generous God who could easily take care of whoever might be in the land, and they wanted to act on the faith they had in a mighty and merciful God. 

The God of the other spies wasn’t big enough to handle the giants. Their low view of themselves as grasshoppers betrayed their low view of God.

“We wrap a lot of our fears in morbidly sanctified self-belittling.  We piously cover this self-despising and call it consecration and self-crucifixion.”

David Seamands

Too many people feel good about feeling bad – and then use those feelings to make spiritual excuses for not exploring what God promises, expects, commands, and dreams for them. 

It is high time for us to get into the world with our witness in a far greater way because we serve a God who sees giants as gnats; and we will, too, if we have a high view of God.

Yet, holding us back, is fear of criticism, of taking a risk, of going outside of the way we’ve always done it, and of what others may think or say. 

If you once dreamed something and you think your dream is dead because you destroyed it by your sins or bad habits, you are wrong. Dreams are destroyed by fear, by being tricked into thinking that we are nothing but grasshoppers and God doesn’t care, and so we do nothing.

Unfortunately, it appears the most common way of coping with feelings of fear, insecurity, and inferiority is by withdrawing from other people – because you cannot give yourself fully to your family, church, neighborhood, vocation, and the world without a healthy robust view of and relationship with God. 

Give God a chance to work in and through your life. May you step up and step out because you have a God behind you that is gracious and generous. Amen.

The Truth About You (John 8:21-30)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Once more Jesus said to them, “I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.”

This made the Jews ask, “Will he kill himself? Is that why he says, ‘Where I go, you cannot come’?”

But he continued, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins.”

“Who are you?” they asked.

“Just what I have been telling you from the beginning,” Jesus replied. “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.”

They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Even as he spoke, many believed in him. (New International Version)

Jesus was an interesting guy – both cagey and confrontational at the same time. He had a way (the way, in fact) that left those who longed for mercy and encouragement to receive it, while also giving rebuke to those satisfied with being stuck in their misguided lives.

This made Christ one of those persons whom you either loved or hated. The people that loved him, adored him; and those that hated him, sought to kill him.

It’s really a matter of self-perception. The ones who tend to self-loathe and wonder if they’re accepted, or not, are the ones who feel on the outside. These are the folks who discover themselves on the inside, accepted by God. And Jesus made it happen for them.

On the other hand, the ones who are enamored with themselves and their superior religion, looking down at others and feeling secure as insiders, are the people who will find they’re actually on the outside looking in; indeed, they will die in their self-delusion.

Our self-identification matters. If identity is tied to what we’re able to do for God, and/or how pious we look for others to see, then our inflated egos will eventually be popped with the pinprick of divine judgment. But if identity is tethered to belonging to God by divine grace and mercy, then we shall know true acceptance.

We need to know the truth about ourselves. Both truth and error are powerful. If we have misguided notions of self, we are like empty wells with no water to draw from. Many of our problems, failures, and shame are largely due to a misunderstanding of the kind of person we are. 

A profound result of this misunderstanding is a lack of self-worth. When we are in error about who we really are, we are severely limited in what we can do in our lives. We can neither solve the problem by comparing ourselves with others nor by trying to generate good feelings about ourselves. Only through accepting what the Holy Scriptures say about us, and responding in faith, can we be truly helped.

So, here are some bedrock truths about us:

  1. We are created in the image and likeness of God. (Genesis 1:16-17)  We begin to understand ourselves by beginning with the creation of the world. Since God is a Person of infinite perfection and goodness, to be created in God’s image means we are persons of great potential and value.
  2. We are special to God. The Lord treats us as persons; therefore, we may not treat ourselves any less than that. To be a person means that we are self-conscious and can make decisions. We also have inherent rights to know, to be heard, to feel, to have an opinion, to be honored, to develop potential, to assume responsibility, and to enjoy life and all creation.
  3. We are loved by God (John 15:9; 17:23) God recognizes us as persons, gives us our rightful place in the divine life, and will do what is right by us. In other words, God has our back. The Lord will not gaslight us.
  4. We are called to a relationship with the loving God (1 Corinthians 1:9) No greater honor could be bestowed on us than to be invited to interact with the Living God. As we do, the door is open so God can minister to us and lead us into the knowledge and practice of a good life.
  5. We are the recipients of divine revelation (Hebrews 1:1-3) Having the Holy Scriptures available to us is the greatest possession we could ever receive. There is nothing more powerful than the truth about God and God’s design for our daily life. Therefore, we commit a profound sin when we neglect and disobey what God has so graciously given us.
  6. We are the objects of divine redemption (Romans 5:8-9) The great evidence of our human worth is the reality that Jesus Christ has secured our redemption from sin, death, and hell. Jesus, the Son of God, has loved us and gave himself for us. (Galatians 2:20)
  7. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) The actual physical temple of the Old Testament was filled with the glory of God. Today, through Christ’s redeeming love on the cross, every believer in Jesus is God’s temple. Therefore, God wants to work in us and through us for to bless and serve the world.

The conclusion to the matter is that the only way we will know true self-worth is to accept what God says about us and respond by faith and love to this loving and redeeming message. You are a person of infinite worth to God, so live into this wonderful truth.

Gracious Creator, blessed all-knowing God, be merciful to upgrade my opinion of myself and my vision for the future so I never feel the need to protect and preserve the past. Show me how to be a faithful steward of the greatness you have placed within me.

Loving Lord, you know everything about me and love me anyway! As I accept and experience your grace and mercy, help me to grasp the depth and perfection of your love as demonstrated by the sacrifice of your only Son, Jesus Christ my Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit are one God, now and forever. Amen.