A Damaged People

Legacy Museum in Montgomery Alabama
This verse of a Maya Angelou poem is on the outside of the Legacy Museum: From Enslavement to Mass Incarceration in Montgomery, Alabama

I am an aging white male Protestant minister. From the inception of colonial America through the first one-hundred years of the United States, my kind ruled the roost.[i] We established schools and universities, advised governors and presidents, and held the reins of power. We were at the vanguard of the nation’s spiritual and moral development.[ii] Even after much of American society became increasingly secularized and more pluralistic, we white men of the cloth wielded a great deal of influence. We still hold respect (albeit less respected than earlier times in American history) and are typically given the benefit of the doubt in most situations.

For all the good we have done throughout American history, we also turned a blind eye to the slave trade and even championed slavery as a good for black Africans throughout most of the United States. Even in the North, where abolitionists could be found, far too many of us preached against slavery not for the inherent evil it is but because of fear that blacks might integrate with the more enlightened white society. Using their influence, ministers got behind efforts to send blacks back to Africa. Hence, the modern-day country of Liberia.[iii] Although today’s white male ministers are more diverse than ever in their theology and practice, there yet remains for us all a collective wound, a putrid abscess of a racialized society.

Something else to know about me: I have two academic degrees in history and did my graduate thesis on slaveholder religion in the antebellum South. I continue to keep abreast of historical research pertaining to my own expertise.[iv] I am both a church pastor and a hospital chaplain. Spiritual and pastoral care of parishioners, patients, and their families are the stuff of my workaday world. I exist in the lived world of people’s struggles, joys, hopes, and desires – bearing witness to all their myriad experiences of heartbreak, miracle, and everything in between.[v]

As both an historian and ordained minister, I agree with religion and social history professor, D.G. Hart, when he said, “There is a long history going all the way back to slavery, of white Americans not trusting black perspectives as truthful.”[vi] Indeed, this has been my own experience in discussing racism. I have come to expect that if I am in a room full of white male ministers, the subject of racism will not be broached – unless I bring it up. I am usually met with defensiveness and an insistence about not being racist; and, a rebuke of bringing up politics in the august clerical group. The assumptions in the room are that we, ministers, are color-blind (“I don’t see a person’s color when I preach.”); and, that racism means a specific political agenda (“All lives matter, not only black ones….”).[vii]

It would be untenable and unethical if I entered a patient room as a chaplain and spent my time providing for the nurse’s emotional and spiritual well-being. Yes, she has needs, too, and a good chunk of my job involves care of staff. Yet, in this scenario, it is the sick person we are both attending to. It will not do for me to argue, “I don’t see a person’s health when I look at them – I am health-blind.” And it would be ludicrous for me to insist that “all lives matter, not just sick ones,” and nonsense to say, “healthy lives matter.”

Yet, this is happening every day. It is as if a person is struck by a car and lies bleeding in the street while the ambulance and first responders rush to the driver who hit the person saying, “Are you okay? That must have been traumatic running over a person!” Yes, the driver is in shock and will likely need therapy to deal with what happened. However, this is not the primary need and focus of the moment.

Black men die in our streets and we focus on the unruly aspects of demonstrations and riots. Black women disproportionately lose their lives in maternity wards, along with an infant mortality rate more than twice that of whites.[viii] Black families on average have ten times less the annual income than white families, with little to no inherited property or wealth (due in large degree to widespread twentieth century zoning laws which excluded blacks from certain geographic areas and neighborhoods).[ix]

We need not look to other nations of the world for human rights violations. “Physician, heal thyself,” comes from the Gospel of Luke. Immediately after Jesus proclaimed that the poor, the prisoner, the blind, and the oppressed matter, he received pushback from the establishment to maintain the status quo. The good news of freedom and recovery is still subversive and scandalous today as it was all those centuries ago. The gospel still elicits anger from the privileged when resources are focused toward the underprivileged.[x]

I once had a fellow old white Protestant minister throw up his hands in exasperation after speaking with him about race saying, “Well, what do you want me to do about it!?” Indeed, what shall you do? How then shall we live?

The short answer: care. The following are a potpourri of practices I have personally engaged over the past few decades. Perhaps and hopefully you will find some ways to put a voice and some hands and feet to the caring:

  • Seek first to understand rather than be understood. Be informed. Read. Listen to another, without mentally arming yourself with a response. If you cannot state to a person you disagree with their position in a way they would say, “Yep, that’s it, that’s my position,” then you have not done your due diligence in listening well. The bibliography below are just a few books I have found helpful for me as a white person seeking to understand.
  • Engage in self-awareness. Explore what implicit bias and microaggressions are and take a fierce moral inventory of your own life regarding them.
  • Find out what the needs are in your local community. Projecting what you think the needs are of a place or a people is not the same as discovering what the needs really are. Many of my fellow whites cannot see past the demonstrations of black folk on the streets to the needs behind those demonstrations. People demonstrate because they have legitimate needs which are not being fulfilled and they possess little power to change the system which keeps those needs unfulfilled.
  • Exercise humility and repentance. Have a teachable spirit. Be willing to say when you are wrong without beating up yourself. True repentance is not shame – it is changing course when you see your previous path was down a damaging road. More than once I have stuck my foot in my mouth and said something racist that, at the time, I did not realize.
  • Embrace your power, position, or privilege. Use what you have for the benefit of those without. And, more difficult to do for most of my white brothers and sisters, share your power. If a round table discussion of all nice old white male Protestant ministers talk about what to do about race, we will only get a nice old white male Protestant minister answer about how to deal with it. Furthermore, token procedures and policies, as well as token representation will do diddly squat.
  • Keep the main thing the main thing. There are many things which require our (white) attention, including talking to our kids about race, common decency, etc. Yet, when black lynching continues in more modern and sophisticated forms, this requires our immediate attention. The white lady in the car is not bleeding in the street, so keep focused on the main thing.
  • Dedicate effort and resources to dismantling systemic and structural racism. We white folk built it. We can destroy it. The only assumptions we ought to be making is that racism exists everywhere and in every institution in some way, shape, or form. I define racism as vastly more than overt individual discriminatory words or actions – racism primarily exists as covert inequities which maintain white control of institutional power and decision-making, thus, making it more difficult for people of color to have access and opportunity to quality education, jobs, housing, healthcare, and equal treatment in the criminal justice system.

When one of us is wounded, we are all wounded. It is unacceptable we would ever refuse to weep with our brothers and sisters of color who weep. Until we, whites, can individually and collectively find it within ourselves to grieve and lament the loss of human life beside people of color, then we shall continue to be damaged together as one people. Pastors and faith leaders can play a special role in healing our wounds if we find within ourselves a commitment to such a worthy task.

Bibliography of Selected Works

Brown, Austin Channing I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness, Colorado Springs, CO: Convergent Books, 2018.

Carter, J. Kameron Race: A Theological Account, New York: Oxford University Press, 2008.

Coates, Ta-Nehesi Between the World and Me, New York: One World Press, 2015.

Cone, James H. The Cross and the Lynching Tree, New York: Orbis Press, 2013.

DiAngelo, Robin White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Boston: Beacon Press, 2018.

Douglass, Frederick The Complete Works of Frederick Douglass, Madison & Adams Press, 2018.

DuBois, W.E.B. The Souls of Black Folk, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2014.

Glaude, Eddie S. Democracy in Black: How Race Still Enslaves the American Soul, New York: Broadway Books, 2017.

Guelzo, Allen C. Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation: The End of Slavery in America, New York: Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Kendi, Ibram X. How to Be an Antiracist, New York: One World Books, 2019.

Rah, Soong-Chan Many Colors: Cultural Intelligence for a Changing Church, Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2010.

Swanson, David W. Rediscipling the White Church: From Cheap Diversity to True Solidarity, Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2020.

Tisby, Jemar The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing, 2019.

Endnotes

[i] E. Brooks Holifield, Theology in America: Christian Thought from the Age of the Puritans to the Civil War (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2003): 1-4.

[ii] Sydney Ahlstrom, A Religious History of the American People (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1972): xiii-xvi.

[iii] Edwin S. Gaustad, ed. A Documentary History of Religion in America to the Civil War (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1982): 485-490.

[iv] I have a B.A. in history from the University of Northern Iowa and an M.A. in 19th Century American Religious History from Western Michigan University – as well as an M.Div. from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary.  For a survey of recent historical research approaches, see Jay D. Green, Christian Historiography: Five Rival Trends (Waco, TX: Baylor University Press, 2015).

[v] I am the Staff Chaplain at Aurora St. Luke’s South Shore Medical Center and the Pastor of the New Life Community Church, both in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

[vi] D.G. Hart, The Trouble I’ve Seen: Changing the Way the Church Views Racism (Harrisonburg, VA: Herald Press, 2016): 46.

[vii] These statements have been said to me by several white ministers in the past ten years from various denominations, theological traditions, and geographical locales – enough for me to form anecdotal evidence regarding common presuppositions of race.

[viii] Cigna Health and Life Insurance Co., Report on African American Health Disparities, 2016.

[ix] Kriston McIntosh, Emily Moss, Ryan Nunn, and Jay Shambaugh, Examining the Black-White Wealth Gap (The Brookings Institute, 2020).

[x] Luke 4:14-30 in The Holy Bible.

Psalm 139:1-12, 23-24 – Known by God

known by God

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
O Lord, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is so high that I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from your spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light around me become night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is as bright as the day,
for darkness is as light to you….

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (NRSV)

It is no wonder that so many people struggle with self-image today.  Beautiful people dominate the television shows and movies; the rich and powerful are highlighted in the media; and, people with perfect teeth and immaculate attire are splashed in front of us in the daily barrage of advertisements.  Meanwhile, the rest of us 99% of the population quickly notice that we do not measure up to such a standard.  It only takes a few minutes of people-watching at the local grocery store to realize that the vast majority of persons have less than perfect bodies and do not have much of a budget to live like the other less than 1% of the famous.

Into this abyss of feeling depressed about one’s image enters the biblical truth that each one of us, no matter our station in life is known and accepted by God.  The Creator God took great care to make us and form us just the way he wants us.

God knows us intimately, inside-and-out, and he does not condemn us or shame us but loves us wholly.

So, rather than wasting our emotional energy and our mental faculties on wishing we looked different or were more like so-and-so who seems to always have it all together, we can bask in the understanding that God is with us – there is no place we can go where God isn’t. The Lord is with us in our good times and bad; when we are at are best in loving others and when we are at our cranky worst; and, in our joy, as well as our anxiety. God is there for it all – no matter the state of our heart or our geographical location.

No matter who we are, the entire race of humanity has been created in the image of God, and, on that basis alone, we have inherent value, worth, and majesty.  Let us, then, treat ourselves and others with the yardstick of grace.

How do you talk to yourself?  You know what I mean.  The kind of speech that goes on inside your head.  The things which you say inside your heart that no one knows but you.  You will perhaps agree with me that you are rather hard on yourself.  In the reclusive parts of your mind, you speak to yourself in ways that you would never say to others, nor tolerate others saying about someone else.  Only you know the depth of your own sorrows, hurts, fears, insecurities, and worries.  Except….

God.  He knows it all.  He knows it all intimately.  And He is not repulsed.  God knows that the answer to all the doubts about yourself is His loving gaze upon you.

You have the freedom to plumb the recesses of your heart and soul – to bring out all that is inside the cluttered closet of your mind and heart without fear of God calling you what you call yourself.

I encourage you to slowly read, out loud, these verses for today several times.  Allow the presence of God to wash over you with grace and understanding.  One of the theories of human psychology is that people are driven by two primary needs: to intimately know another person; and, to be intimately known by another.  God knows us even better than we know ourselves – and he still loves us!  There is nothing about us that God does not already know.  No human relationship can even come close to the level of knowledge and understanding that God has for us and about us.

To know God is likely the greatest and highest pursuit we could ever enjoy.  God is so big and infinite that we will spend an eternity getting to know him and will never get to the end of knowing him completely. That is the kind of God we serve.  Be encouraged today and always with the reality that you are divinely known and can know God.

Almighty God, Father of all mercies, we your unworthy servants give you humble thanks for all your goodness and loving-kindness to us and to all whom you have made. We bless you for our creation, preservation, and all the blessings of this life; but above all for your immeasurable love in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ; for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory. And, we pray, give us such an awareness of your mercies, that with truly thankful hearts we may show forth your praise, not only with our lips, but in our lives, by giving up ourselves to your service, and by walking before you in holiness and righteousness all our days; Through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory throughout all ages. Amen. – Book of Common Prayer

2 Thessalonians 2:13-3:5 – A Life-Giving Message

OakTreeUnknownArtist
“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18)

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters loved by the Lord, because God chose you as first-fruits to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts, and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

As for other matters brothers and sisters, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil people, for not everyone has faith. But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance. (NIV)

As with most sections of Holy Scripture, if we merely focus on this singular passage from the Bible and seek daily to live into its message, it is likely we would live a consistently rich and full spiritual life. As the Apostle Paul said to the Thessalonians, and indeed to us, standing firm and holding a solid grip on apostolic teaching will mean a daily life of loving words and actions.

Notice the many elements of this Scripture for us to spotlight for our spiritual lives: gratitude; salvation; sanctification; truth; spiritual calling; sharing in God’s glory; love; grace; hope; encouragement; prayer; faithfulness; perseverance; and, deliverance. We could even highlight just one of these words and, if seeking to do a deep dive with it, could spend unending days learning and living into its multi-faceted dimensions.

I want to pause here and do a bit of a check-in with you. How we approach this passage of Scripture, as well as any other verses which encourage us to hold onto sound teaching and living, will likely determine our level of joy, satisfaction, confidence, and success. It all begins with our view of self. If we come at the Christian life and Holy Scripture with a view of self as a mere tool or object for God’s use – then we are truly objectifying ourselves.

The key point of awareness to realizing whether we have such an objectifying view is if we continually “should” ourselves. The word “should,” brings self-hatred. We primarily see only shortcomings and original sin – and are blind to the majesty of being in God’s image. In such a view there is typically boat loads of shame for not living up to the ideal form of a devoted Christian. Belittling ourselves inwardly only transfers outwardly to looking down on others for their failures. Any exhortation from me or anybody else would be seen in this view as a demanding duty.

OakTreeTomBrown
“The gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.” (Colossians 1:6)

Instead, we can come to Scripture’s admonitions, encouragements, and exhortations with the glasses of grace. After all, our text for today says that God loved us and by his grace gave us this teaching. The dense amount of Christian living in such a few verses, when viewed through the lenses of grace, are merciful words communicating support. God wants to strengthen us with grace just because he loves us. God does not objectify us by seeing us as pawns in some twisted divine game for his own cosmic pleasure. Rather, God is looking to direct our hearts toward a delight in his love. Because it is only with love and grace that we can really persevere throughout our Christian lives.

Not everyone has faith, and that saddens the heart of God. It also puts us, at times, in awkward situations. Again, the love of God does not leave us alone. Divine love will strengthen and protect us. The Apostle Paul never wags his finger and levels the “should” on us like some uptight legalist. Paul expresses confidence, knowing that we most certainly have the capacity to live the will of God. The Scriptures are given to engender strengthening of faith and spiritual growth rather than self-hatred, which has a nasty tendency to come out sideways in a lack of compassion and grace toward others.

This letter was written by Paul to the church because they were finding it difficult to endure their hard circumstances. The Thessalonian Christians began longing for heaven to such a degree that they were losing their grip on living presently in the moment of now. This is part of the reason why Paul encouraged them to pray for him and his colleagues. The people needed to put some focus on the now of spreading the message of God’s grace.

To be rather frank, truth be told, the chief reason I write these daily reflections on Scripture is because I need God’s Word. Yes, I do write for the reader. I want to contribute to people’s growth in grace and I have a deep desire to make the message known. Yet, honestly, I write more for myself. This is a way for me to remind myself of God’s love and grace and utilize it every day.

When I hear Paul talking in biblical texts like these, I detect some of the same reason – Paul himself wants to continue growing in grace, and when writing to and for others he is very much writing to himself. The reading of the Bible and the dedication to living its message is meant to be life-giving, or rather, eternally life-giving.

So, today, I leave with this blessing:

May you take refuge in the wondrous grace of God, and all the little miracles of mercy which he bestows each day.

May you always be inclined to rush into God’s Holy Word and discover its life working within you.

May you imitate the flower as it opens to the day’s sunshine in receiving all that God has for you this day.

May you be in solidarity with brother stone, who sits in silence, calm and secure, and be excessively gentle with yourself.

May you wisely steer clear of those vexed in spirit with only God knows what; and, when in that space of others walking all over your boundaries, may your confidence surge and God’s protection deliver you.

May you return to the glory that is yourself, learning a new respect for your heart, and the joy that has always been there, given graciously to you by a God who has invited you to share in Jesus Christ.

Amen.

The True Self and the False Self

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” – Oscar Wilde.

True Self False Self

People are complicated. They cannot be reduced to simple categories, as if an individual person can be neatly labeled as good or bad, nice or naughty, magnificent or mean, altruistic or selfish. No, people are wondrously intricate beings with a vast inner world of values and motivations. The reality of humanity is that we are a befuddling mix of virtue and vice with capabilities of much greater good than we realize along with an unfortunate capacity for heinous words and actions in the world. We are both blessed with the enduring mark of God’s image and cursed with not acknowledging our inherent worth through using cheap parlor tricks to prove we matter to others. As a result of these two often competing realities, we all tend to inhabit a sort of spiritual schizophrenia which vacillates between the true self and a false self.

What is the true self?

The true self is a person’s pursuit of realizing their own potential of gifts and abilities to be used for the common good of all. The true self embraces authenticity, vulnerability, and courage in their desire for growth and development of the inner person. The true self is open, being curious about self and others. Wanting to realize the full implications of God’s image within them, the true self is free to explore the vast potential of good which resides inside. The true self loves others from a place of invitation and patience. The true self is a master of one’s own inner wisdom and, so, has ability to rest and have peace.

What is the false self?

The false self is a person’s compulsion to achieve an idealized form of themselves. Such a self seeks the adulation of others since they lack awareness of their true self. The false self holds on to secrets, avoids emotions, and seeks perfection. The false self is closed, being afraid that others might reject them, if they knew the true self. Thus, the tragedy of the false self is that – in seeking self-protection – they do not find the self-realization and love they long for. Obsessively attempting to present an image to the world of having it all put together, the false self does not risk being brave. Instead, it fears others might see the bad within them, and so, judge and reject them. The false self uses love to manipulate others to love them back. The false self has no mastery of self because it attempts to become a master of a small world over others. The false self is never at rest and obsessively moves from one project to another.

Why does a person have a false self?

When someone has a great deal of inner stress, they might become estranged or alienated from their true self. For example, if someone has experienced trauma, they might direct their energy toward molding themselves into an idealized self. The hope of such a misadventure is to become impervious to any further trauma and pain. In short, the false self seeks power over others through doing everything the right way all the time so that they can feel a sense of security, superiority, and/or control in every situation.

How do I realize the true self?

The following is by no means an exhaustive list of connecting with our true selves. Indeed, you will likely come up with many more ways. After all, you have potentialities within you which I do not possess!

  1. Pay attention to your spiritual self. Just as our physical spine supports us and we need to take good care of it, so we have a spiritual spine which supports us when we need it – that is, if we pay attention to it and maintain good habits of self-care.
  2. Believe in the inherent good you possess – that it will eventually win and have the day. The image of God permanently resides within us; the curse of the fallen world does not. Have faith that goodness will prevail in your life.
  3. Focus primarily on exploring your true self through a positive plan; and, only secondarily focus on combating the false self. Compulsively trying to suppress the false self is, ironically, giving it power to call the shots in your life.
  4. Develop new habits and routines which are life-giving for you. Avoid implementing long lists of do’s and don’ts which are cumbersome and burden your soul with an unnecessary heavy load. A good rule of thumb here is that if your plan and routines are serving you well, then you are probably on a healthy path. If you find yourself constantly a slave to your routines, then you are serving the plan and are likely on an unhealthy road.
  5. Create a safe space for yourself in which your true self can arise. This means developing healthy rhythms of giving and receiving love; and, sharing your story and listening to others share their stories. And these occur when we have a safe space to inhabit. Safe spaces typically don’t fall into our laps. We need to take some initiative to find them.
  6. Take your emotions seriously. Many people have learned from their family of origin and/or their church or faith community that thoughts are more important than feelings; and, to not show emotions or even really acknowledge them. This, perhaps more than any other reason, pushes a person toward pursuing an idealized false self. In truth we are emotional creatures and our feelings are significant, valid, and vital. As we take those feelings seriously through talking about them and sharing them with trusted individuals, our true self begins to emerge.
  7. Seek support through finding groups who share your desire for self-realization and discovering persons who model what you are looking for. For example, for me, Jesus Christ is the ultimate model. When tempted with a devil’s pact for achieving salvation through self-idealization, Jesus did not take it. Instead, he chose the hard road of self-realization and was satisfied doing the will of God.

Some quotes on realizing the true self:

“If you don’t get lost, there’s a chance you may never be found.” – Anonymous

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown

“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland

“The path to great confidence is not in becoming invincible, flawless, and seemingly perfect. But rather, it is in embracing your humanity, in all its messy glory and tender vulnerability.” – Aziz Gazipura

“Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” – Carl Jung

“Live life as though nobody is watching and express yourself as though everyone is listening.” – Nelson Mandela

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

“The freedom to be yourself is a gift only you can give yourself. But once you do, no one can take it away.” – Doe Zantamata