Accept Your Shadow Side (Acts 7:30-40)

“Forty years later, in the desert near Mount Sinai, an angel appeared to Moses in the flame of a burning bush. When Moses saw it, he was amazed at the sight. As he went to take a closer look, the voice of the Lord called out to him, ‘I am the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.’ Moses shook with terror and did not dare to look.

“Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground. I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groans and have come down to rescue them. Now go, for I am sending you back to Egypt.’

“So God sent back the same man his people had previously rejected when they demanded, ‘Who made you a ruler and judge over us?’ Through the angel who appeared to him in the burning bush, God sent Moses to be their ruler and savior. And by means of many wonders and miraculous signs, he led them out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, and through the wilderness for forty years.

“Moses himself told the people of Israel, ‘God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from among your own people.’Moses was with our ancestors, the assembly of God’s people in the wilderness, when the angel spoke to him at Mount Sinai. And there Moses received life-giving words to pass on to us.

“But our ancestors refused to listen to Moses. They rejected him and wanted to return to Egypt. They told Aaron, ‘Make us some gods who can lead us, for we don’t know what has become of this Moses, who brought us out of Egypt.’ (New Living Translation)

We humans are a confusing paradox of sinner and saint. We are majestic people, created in the image and likeness of a good God. We are also profoundly fallen, touched by sin in every area of our lives. Our hearts exist with both light and darkness, having the capacity for both incredible altruism as well as inexplicable evil.

So then, it will do no good to retreat into binary definitions of people as being either good or bad. No, we shine and shadow at the same time. What really gets us into a terrible mess is when we ignore or deny our shadow selves. We then demonize the other while claiming purity for ourselves.

This is precisely what occurred when Stephen stood and spoke to a group of his fellow Jews. They stubbornly refused to acknowledge their shadow side. And it resulted in Stephen’s stoning and death. Whereas Stephen lifted and brought to light the unseemly aspects of their collective heritage, the people wanted nothing to do with it.

The Martyrdom of Stephen

In our present day, responses that do not want to acknowledge the shadow side include statements such as, “Quit being so negative. We focus on the positive. Expel this recalcitrant troublemaker once and for all!”

Oy. Acceptance cuts two ways. We must accept both our blessings and our curses. The acceptance of reality will not occur apart from a solid self-acceptance of who we are and how we are feeling in any given situation. On the practical level, it works something like the following story…

Several years ago, I went on a leadership retreat in the Canadian wilderness. We were so far out in the sticks that we needed special first aid training before leaving because if someone got severely injured it would be hours before any medical attention could be received. There was no cell phone service, no towns, no anything except mile after square mile of wilderness. 

One day, I was canoeing with a group of leaders, far out into the Canadian wilderness where there were no towns or people anywhere near us. It was very windy on this day in late May – which meant the water was still ice cold in Canada. One of the canoes capsized. We had to act quickly and deliberately – which was no small feat in a stiff wind. More than fifteen minutes would result in hypothermia for the two people in the water.

I did not like being in that situation. In fact, I didn’t much like the Canadian wilderness. Too many black flies and giant mosquitoes for me. My shadow side was coming out. But here I was, and I had to accept the reality I was in. One of the lessons I learned in that moment was that acceptance can sit alongside other reactions and emotions.

For example, a person can be outraged by an injustice, as Stephen was, and accept that it is a reality. Acceptance does not mean complacency or giving up. We can accept something while at the same time trying to make it better.

I also needed to accept what was happening inside of me. I was cold and worried. Trying to push those feelings away would have only added to the stress of the situation. If I failed to accept what was true about myself, I would be less able to deal with the situation, and so, would compromise my ability to help two people at risk.

I needed to accept the entire circumstance, including myself. Accepting what is inside gave me more influence over the situation, not less. Self-acceptance became the key to acceptance of unwanted conditions, and more importantly, acceptance of one another as human beings.

In that moment of rescuing two people (which ultimately proved successful) I became aware of a part of myself – the part that gets afraid and irritated – and chose not to stuff it or deny its existence.

I became the guy who talked to the panicked people in the water and kept them as calm as possible so that the others could get them out. I was able to do my part to help fearful people because I acknowledged and accepted my own fear.

Unlike my situation, however, Stephen’s experience ended in martyrdom. Just because we respond rightly, is no guarantee that everything will work out for our benefit. Rather, we say and do the things we must say and do, while leaving the results to a sovereign Lord.

It is our responsibility to work on ourselves, not others. And acceptance is the path to get there, all of it – including the shadow side – and not just part of it.

Jesus, let your mighty calmness lift me above my fears and frustrations. By your deep patience, give me tranquility and stillness of soul in you. Make me in this, and in all things, more and more like you. Amen.

Divine Affirmation (Isaiah 44:1-5)

The Lord says,

“Listen now, Israel, my servant,
    my chosen people, the descendants of Jacob.
I am the Lord who created you;
    from the time you were born, I have helped you.
Do not be afraid; you are my servant,
    my chosen people whom I love.

“I will give water to the thirsty land
    and make streams flow on the dry ground.
I will pour out my spirit on your children
    and my blessing on your descendants.
They will thrive like well-watered grass,
    like willows by streams of running water.

“One by one, people will say, ‘I am the Lord’s.’
    They will come to join the people of Israel.
They each will mark the name of the Lord on their arms
    and call themselves one of God’s people.” (Good News Translation)

Who do you believe you are, at the very core of your being?

Your very essence, the person you are deep down inside, is worthy of divine blessing and belonging. You are loved by God.

In a world of abject hate and injustice, there remains within the soul the majesty of people created in the image and likeness of God. There is still hope for us, that is, if we will receive water in our thirst and be bathed in the reality of who we are. And I take a decidedly Christian perspective on that identity.

I am a firm believer in making daily affirmations of truth based upon what God has done for us in Christ. The Christian doctrine of justification means that God has justified us and made us right, along with all creation through the cross of Jesus. This is more than a doctrine to believe, but it is also a reality to be lived into each and every day.

I know it doesn’t always feel like we belong or that we are blessed. Many of our adverse situations may cause us to wonder about whether God accepts us, or not.

As we go through life, there are those who don’t like the way we do things, or are upset about our views on particular subjects, or think that we ought to be doing something we aren’t doing. In such times, my initial reaction might be to justify myself – to defend my words or my silence, my actions or inactions, and my work. 

I am not yet what I will be someday, but I am not what I used to be either.

These sorts of encounters can easily leave us feeling insecure, like a vulnerable teenager trying to look cool in the middle of his awkwardness. I even once had a person complain to me that on a particular Sunday my shoes were not shined well enough. For a person like me who is borderline obsessive-compulsive, that was not an easy mental slough-off; I really wanted to beat myself up over the lack of shiny shoes!

The truth of the Christian life is that I have no need to justify myself. Why? Because God has already justified me in Christ. 

The following are some regular affirmations we can tell ourselves for truth and righteousness to awaken within our souls:

  1. I thankfully acknowledge and accept who I am in my unchangeable physical appearance which God has uniquely designed for me, so that the Lord can bring a special view to others through my life. (Psalm 139:13-18; 2 Corinthians 10:12, 12:9-10)
  2. I thankfully acknowledge and accept that I am unconditionally loved and treasured by God, who wanted a relationship with me, and to whom I belong. (Romans 8:31-32, 38-39; John 6:44, 17:23)
  3. I thankfully acknowledge that I am unconditionally accepted as a worthy person to God, because of Jesus Christ, in whom I trust for all things. (Ephesians 1:16; Romans 4:6-8; Isaiah 61:10)
  4. I thankfully acknowledge that I am a secure person because God cares about me and asks me to trust divine leadership and goodness. (Romans 8:28; Matthew 6:25-33; Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 37:3-7, 23)
  5. I thankfully acknowledge that I am in a process of growth. My sinful nature is part of my personality, but it is not who I am. I consider myself dead to the sinful nature and alive and responsive to God. I am not yet what I will be someday, but I am not what I used to be either. I accept my struggles with guilt and shame as opportunities to depend more on God and Christ’s justification for me. (1 Peter 2:1-3; Romans 6:11; 2 Corinthians 10:13; Galatians 5:16)
  6. I thankfully acknowledge and accept that I am a competent person who is adequate to fulfill God’s will successfully each day. My strength is supplied by God’s Holy Spirit, who works through me to make an important and eternal impact on others with the love of God and the message of Christ. (Philippians 2:13, 4:13; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Peter 4:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:20)

We are loved, accepted, and cared for by God. And we have important lives to live. Therefore, we need not threatened or devastated by the way some people treat us. 

Others do not determine our self-worth. We might be pained when others let us down, but it is not the end of the world. We can continue to act responsibly toward them without demanding that they understand us, accept us, or respect us.

Many if not most people try to find acceptance and significance through family, peers, faith communities, achievements, appearance, work, etc. Yet, none of those sources can satisfy or fulfill our basic personal needs. This is why there are so many people who feel resentment, anxiety, guilt, or a vague sense of emptiness and even despair.

Yet when a person trusts God and exhibits faith in Christ, as the true source of justification in order to satisfy basic needs, that person can learn to regard themself in their new identity with Christ: 

  • Their faith can be trained to believe in and focus on a new self-concept, even in circumstances when they feel the pain of rejection. 
  • They can rebound from disappointment and develop resilience. 
  • They can forgive others and continue to serve others without dependence upon positive feedback from another.

To be justified by Christ means that we can live in the security of being a child of God without depending on others to do for us what God has already done through Jesus. Learning to live in this way takes daily affirmations of faith and truth.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning is now and shall be forever. Our faith and hope is not in vain, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts. Amen.

The Truth About You (John 8:21-30)

Once more Jesus said to them, “I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.”

This made the Jews ask, “Will he kill himself? Is that why he says, ‘Where I go, you cannot come’?”

But he continued, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins.”

“Who are you?” they asked.

“Just what I have been telling you from the beginning,” Jesus replied. “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.”

They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Even as he spoke, many believed in him. (New International Version)

Jesus was an interesting guy – both cagey and confrontational at the same time. He had a way (the way, in fact) that left those who longed for mercy and encouragement to receive it, while also giving rebuke to those satisfied with being stuck in their misguided lives.

This made Christ one of those persons whom you either loved or hated. The people that loved him, adored him; and those that hated him, sought to kill him.

It’s really a matter of self-perception. The ones who tend to self-loathe and wonder if they’re accepted, or not, are the ones who feel on the outside. These are the folks who discover themselves on the inside, accepted by God. And Jesus made it happen for them.

On the other hand, the ones who are enamored with themselves and their superior religion, looking down at others and feeling secure as insiders, are the people who will find they’re actually on the outside looking in; indeed, they will die in their self-delusion.

Our self-identification matters. If identity is tied to what we’re able to do for God, and/or how pious we look for others to see, then our inflated egos will eventually be popped with the pinprick of divine judgment. But if identity is tethered to belonging to God by divine grace and mercy, then we shall know true acceptance.

We need to know the truth about ourselves. Both truth and error are powerful. If we have misguided notions of self, we are like empty wells with no water to draw from. Many of our problems, failures, and shame are largely due to a misunderstanding of the kind of person we are. 

A profound result of this misunderstanding is a lack of self-worth. When we are in error about who we really are, we are severely limited in what we can do in our lives. We can neither solve the problem by comparing ourselves with others nor by trying to generate good feelings about ourselves. Only through accepting what the Holy Scriptures say about us, and responding in faith, can we be truly helped.

So, here are some bedrock truths about us:

  1. We are created in the image and likeness of God. (Genesis 1:16-17)  We begin to understand ourselves by beginning with the creation of the world. Since God is a Person of infinite perfection and goodness, to be created in God’s image means we are persons of great potential and value.
  2. We are special to God. The Lord treats us as persons; therefore, we may not treat ourselves any less than that. To be a person means that we are self-conscious and can make decisions. We also have inherent rights to know, to be heard, to feel, to have an opinion, to be honored, to develop potential, to assume responsibility, and to enjoy life and all creation.
  3. We are loved by God (John 15:9; 17:23) God recognizes us as persons, gives us our rightful place in the divine life, and will do what is right by us. In other words, God has our back. The Lord will not gaslight us.
  4. We are called to a relationship with the loving God (1 Corinthians 1:9) No greater honor could be bestowed on us than to be invited to interact with the Living God. As we do, the door is open so God can minister to us and lead us into the knowledge and practice of a good life.
  5. We are the recipients of divine revelation (Hebrews 1:1-3) Having the Holy Scriptures available to us is the greatest possession we could ever receive. There is nothing more powerful than the truth about God and God’s design for our daily life. Therefore, we commit a profound sin when we neglect and disobey what God has so graciously given us.
  6. We are the objects of divine redemption (Romans 5:8-9) The great evidence of our human worth is the reality that Jesus Christ has secured our redemption from sin, death, and hell. Jesus, the Son of God, has loved us and gave himself for us. (Galatians 2:20)
  7. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) The actual physical temple of the Old Testament was filled with the glory of God. Today, through Christ’s redeeming love on the cross, every believer in Jesus is God’s temple. Therefore, God wants to work in us and through us for to bless and serve the world.

The conclusion to the matter is that the only way we will know true self-worth is to accept what God says about us and respond by faith and love to this loving and redeeming message. You are a person of infinite worth to God, so live into this wonderful truth.

Gracious Creator, blessed all-knowing God, be merciful to upgrade my opinion of myself and my vision for the future so I never feel the need to protect and preserve the past. Show me how to be a faithful steward of the greatness you have placed within me.

Loving Lord, you know everything about me and love me anyway! As I accept and experience your grace and mercy, help me to grasp the depth and perfection of your love as demonstrated by the sacrifice of your only Son, Jesus Christ my Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit are one God, now and forever. Amen.

Acceptance (Acts 7:17-40)

“As the time drew near for God to fulfill his promise to Abraham, the number of our people in Egypt had greatly increased. Then ‘a new king, to whom Joseph meant nothing, came to power in Egypt.’He dealt treacherously with our people and oppressed our ancestors by forcing them to throw out their newborn babies so that they would die.

“At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child. For three months he was cared for by his family. When he was placed outside, Pharaoh’s daughter took him and brought him up as her own son. Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action.

“When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his own people, the Israelites. He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other?’

“But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, ‘Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?’ When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons.

Moses and the Burning Bush, by Marc Chagall

“After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight. As he went over to get a closer look, he heard the Lord say: ‘I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.

“Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground. I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.’

“This is the same Moses they had rejected with the words, ‘Who made you ruler and judge?’ He was sent to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. He led them out of Egypt and performed wonders and signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea and for forty years in the wilderness.

“This is the Moses who told the Israelites, ‘God will raise up for you a prophet like me from your own people.’ He was in the assembly in the wilderness, with the angel who spoke to him on Mount Sinai, and with our ancestors; and he received living words to pass on to us.

“But our ancestors refused to obey him. Instead, they rejected him and in their hearts turned back to Egypt. They told Aaron, ‘Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who led us out of Egypt—we don’t know what has happened to him!’ (New International Version)

Martyrdom of St. Stephen, by Bernardo Daddi, 1345

We humans are a confusing paradox of sinner and saint. We are majestic people, created in the image and likeness of a good God.

And we are also profoundly fallen, touched by the power of sin in every area of our lives. Our hearts exist with both light and darkness, having the capacity for both incredible altruism as well as inexplicable evil.

So then, it will do no good to retreat into binary definitions of people as being either good or bad. No, we shine and shadow at the same time. The thing that really gets us into a terrible mess is when we ignore or deny our shadow selves. We then demonize the other while claiming purity for ourselves.

This is precisely what occurred with Stephen and a group of his fellow Jews who refused to acknowledge their shadow side. And it resulted in Stephen’s stoning and death. Whereas Stephen lifted and brought to light the unseemly aspects of their collective heritage, the people wanted nothing to do with it.

In our present day, the response might be something like, “Quit being so negative. We focus on the positive. Expel this recalcitrant troublemaker once and for all!”

Oy. Acceptance cuts two ways. We must accept both our blessings and our curses. And the acceptance of what is will not occur apart from a solid self-acceptance of who we are and how we are feeling in any given situation. On the practical level, it works something like the following story…

Several years ago, I went on a leadership retreat in the Canadian wilderness. We were so far out in the sticks that we needed special first aid training before leaving – because if someone got severely injured it would be hours before any medical attention could be received. There was no cell phone service, no towns, no anything except mile after square mile of wilderness. 

One day, it was very windy and several of us were on a lake canoeing to a destination. It was late May, which means the water was still ice cold in Canada. One of the canoes capsized and we had to act quickly and deliberately – which was no small feat in a stiff wind. More than fifteen minutes would result in hypothermia for the two people in the water.

I did not like being in that situation. In fact, I didn’t much like the Canadian wilderness. Too many black flies and giant mosquitoes for me. My shadow side was coming out. But here I was, and I had to accept the reality I was in. One of the lessons I learned in that moment was that acceptance can sit alongside other reactions and emotions.

For example, a person can be outraged by an injustice, as Stephen was, and accept that it is a reality. Acceptance does not mean complacency or giving up. We can accept something while at the same time trying to make it better.

I also needed to accept what was happening inside of me. I was cold and worried. Trying to push those feelings away would have only added to the stress of the situation. If I failed to accept what was true about myself, I would be less able to deal with the situation, and so, would compromise my ability to help two people at risk.

I needed to accept the whole circumstance, including myself. Accepting what is inside gave me more influence over the situation, not less. Self-acceptance became the key to acceptance of unwanted conditions, and more importantly, acceptance of one another as human beings.

In that moment of rescuing two people (which ultimately proved successful) I became aware of a part of myself – the part that gets afraid and irritated – and chose not to stuff it or deny its existence. I became the guy who talked to the panicked people in the water and kept them as calm as possible so that the others could get them out. I was able to do my part to help fearful people because I acknowledged and accepted my own fear.

Unlike my situation, however, Stephen’s experience ended in martyrdom. Just because we respond rightly is no guarantee that everything will work out for our benefit. Rather, we say and do the things we must say and do, while leaving the results to a sovereign Lord.

It is our responsibility to work on ourselves, not others. And acceptance is the path to get there, all of it, not just part of it.

Jesus, let your mighty calmness lift me above my fears and frustrations. By your deep patience, give me tranquility and stillness of soul in you. Make me in this, and in all things, more and more like you. Amen.