Tag: relational dynamics

Stop Passing Judgment on Each Other (Romans 14:13-5:2)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. (New International Version)

It’s one thing to have opposing views with each other; it’s another thing altogether to pass judgment on the person(s) for whom you have a difference of opinion, practice, or theology.

I once had a man come to me about his daughter. She was getting married, and this father told me he was not going to her wedding. The issue? The father had raised his daughter a Christian, yet she had become a Wiccan and was going to have a pagan ceremony.

What would you do if you were the father? What would you say to him if you were the pastor?

I’m confident what most of my fellow Christian pastors would say – they would affirm the man’s position. Me, however, sensed some judgmentalism emanating from my parishioner. So, I asked him some questions:

What do you know about Wicca?

Why did your daughter convert to being a Wiccan?

Do you have a decent relationship with her?

How much do you love your daughter?

Do you think you could find a way of being with her when she gets married that doesn’t compromise your convictions?

As I asked the questions to the father, it quickly became evident that he was condemning her without a shred of evidence or accurate information to support such a judgment.

He believed that Wiccans were blatant devil worshipers (which they are not). So, I simply invited him to learn some basics of Wicca. I pointed him to some resources that might be helpful for him – ones that I believed he could be okay with reading. (Note: The resources were not written by Christians. If one wants to know what a particular group or individual believes, then you must go to the source)

The man had no idea why his daughter turned Wiccan. It turns out, he had never even asked her, or was at all curious as to why she would make such a different religious decision from her upbringing. I simply suggested that he just ask her, then not talk, and listen to the answer.

This father had an estranged relationship with his daughter because he had pulled away from her. She had actually continued to try and remain connected to her dad. But the man thought he was doing the right thing by ostracizing her and refusing to go to her wedding. He believed he needed a separation, to both teach her a lesson and to keep away from evil.

My parishioner, whom I had never seen cry, did so when I asked if he loved his daughter. The problem was that she didn’t know that.

There was a lot of internal struggle with the man in the next weeks and months. To his credit, he took me up on learning about his daughter and connecting with her, rather than cutting her off. And he ended up attending her wedding, albeit in the very back of the gathering.

The father discovered a lot of things he didn’t know, things which he made assumptions about in the past which were untrue and unfounded. He and his daughter’s relationship didn’t change overnight, but they were in a much better position than when the man first came to see me.

So, here is my question for you, my friend: If a Christian and a Wiccan can find a way to be together and love one another, despite their religious views and practices, then how much more can we, as Christians together, find ways to connect with each other, love one another, and stop passing judgment on the other?

It’s time for us to make up our minds and settle in our hearts whether we are going to create separations with other people, or whether we are going do what we can to foster relational connections with others.

Perhaps if we seek to embody today’s New Testament lesson, the ripple effect might just change the world.

O Holy God, we know we have fallen short.
We turn our backs when we could embrace.
We remain silent when we could speak.
We speak when we could listen.
We judge when we could seek understanding.
We cling when we could give.
Forgive us, O God, for focusing solely on ourselves and help us to continue to grow into the people you created us to be, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Insiders and Outsiders (Romans 11:13-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

But I don’t want to go on about them [the Jews]. It’s you, the outsiders, that I’m concerned with now. Because my personal assignment is focused on the so-called outsiders, I make as much of this as I can when I’m among my Israelite kin, the so-called insiders, hoping they’ll realize what they’re missing and want to get in on what God is doing. If their falling out initiated this worldwide coming together, their recovery is going to set off something even better: mass homecoming! If the first thing the Jews did, even though it was wrong for them, turned out for your good, just think what’s going to happen when they get it right!

Behind and underneath all this there is a holy, God-planted, God-tended root. If the primary root of the tree is holy, there’s bound to be some holy fruit. Some of the tree’s branches were pruned and you wild olive shoots were grafted in. Yet the fact that you are now fed by that rich and holy root gives you no cause to gloat over the pruned branches. Remember, you aren’t feeding the root; the root is feeding you.

It’s certainly possible to say, “Other branches were pruned so that I could be grafted in!” Well and good. But they were pruned because they were deadwood, no longer connected by belief and commitment to the root. The only reason you’re on the tree is because your graft “took” when you believed, and because you’re connected to that belief-nurturing root. So don’t get cocky and strut your branch. Be humbly mindful of the root that keeps you lithe and green.

If God didn’t think twice about taking pruning shears to the natural branches, why would he hesitate over you? He wouldn’t give it a second thought. Make sure you stay alert to these qualities of gentle kindness and ruthless severity that exist side by side in God—ruthless with the deadwood, gentle with the grafted shoot. But don’t presume on this gentleness. The moment you become deadwood, it’s game over.

And don’t get to feeling superior to those pruned branches down on the ground. If they don’t persist in remaining deadwood, they could very well get grafted back in. God can do that. He can perform miracle grafts. Why, if he could graft you—branches cut from a tree out in the wild—into an orchard tree, he certainly isn’t going to have any trouble grafting branches back into the tree they grew from in the first place. Just be glad you’re in the tree, and hope for the best for the others.

I want to lay all this out on the table as clearly as I can, friends. This is complicated. It would be easy to misinterpret what’s going on and arrogantly assume that you’re royalty and they’re just rabble, out on their ears for good. But that’s not it at all. This hardness on the part of insider Israel toward God is temporary. Its effect is to open things up to all the outsiders so that we end up with a full house. Before it’s all over, there will be a complete Israel. As it is written,

A champion will stride down from the mountain of Zion;
    he’ll clean house in Jacob.
And this is my commitment to my people:
    removal of their sins.

From your point of view as you hear and embrace the good news of the Message, it looks like the Jews are God’s enemies. But looked at from the long-range perspective of God’s overall purpose, they remain God’s oldest friends. God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded. (The Message)

A big reason a lot of people don’t go to church anymore, is that they can’t stand the bickering, backbiting, and belligerence amongst the people. It’s sad that so many have had a bad experience of Christians squabbling with each other. It’s not supposed to be this way.

Paul disputing with both Gentiles and Jews, c.1175 C.E., (Victoria and Albert Museum, London)

The letter to the Romans reminds me of two siblings going at it, always at odds with each other. Gentile and Jew both together in one church, constantly arguing, and never stopping to listen to the other. The Apostle Paul, their spiritual parent, had enough of it. So, he wrote a lengthy tome, often alternating between speaking directly to Brother Gentile and then to Brother Jew.

Wisely, Paul never took sides and avoided favoritism even though he himself was Jewish. In today’s New Testament lesson, Paul speaks pointedly and forthrightly to the Gentiles in the church. He gets to the issue of Brother Gentile’s attitude and view toward Brother Jew. Father Paul’s instruction to Brother Gentile is also instructive for us, as we navigate a pluralistic world and a diverse church.

Brother Gentile tended to look down on Brother Jew as stuck in the past, too concerned for tradition, and unwilling to change. Brother Gentile thought it was high time Brother Jew understood that all that Jewish stuff is no longer needed; Gentiles were the future of the church.

For Brother Gentile, God has accepted him, and Brother Jew has been rejected as an unwanted anachronism. But Father Paul would have none of it; he was not going to allow Brother Gentile to eviscerate Brother Jew of his identity.

Notice Father Paul’s reasoning to his son, Brother Gentile, utilizing the lesser to the greater argument:

  • Brother Jew’s stumbling and bumbling has already caused Brother Gentile to come to faith in Christ.
  • Brother Gentile’s deliverance and acceptance will cause Brother Jew’s jealousy to kick in.
  • Brother Jew’s response will bring even greater spiritual blessing to the world.

Paul insisted that Brother Jew still has a prominent place in the family, and that a time is coming when the entire human family will have their socks blessed off because of him. Just as an olive tree is pruned and has branches grafted in, Brother Gentile needs to understand he’s a graft, and not part of the original tree.

Therefore, there is no place for arrogant pride. Grafted branches get broken off and pruned, too! And pruned branches can also be grafted back on the tree.

So, Father Paul wanted his sons to understand and appreciate one another as the one tree in God’s family. There is room for neither Brother Gentile’s complacency nor Brother Jew’s despair. Both brothers share together in one equitable tree of life, enjoying the blessings of renewal and restoration.

Let us take these lessons to heart in our interactions with folks who are different from ourselves! There is no room in God’s benevolent kingdom for simpletons who fail to see beyond the end of their noses. Instead, we are to appreciate our brother who looks, thinks, and lives differently than us.

God is only intolerant about intolerance. The Lord desires mercy and justice toward those distinctly offbeat from our own path. Just because Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life does not give any follower of Christ a license to misinterpret, misrepresent, and mistreat another group of people who subscribe to various jots and tittles other than me.

Neither you nor I are the Gardener. We do not get to do the pruning and grafting. That is God’s job, not ours. Love is our business, while the Lord will show both his kindness and sternness when and to whom he will.

Simply assuming we are always on the right side of things only produces a lack of listening, a lack of like-mindedness, and a lack of love. It creates a worldly system of demagoguery, inattention to suffering, and narrow policies, procedures, and laws which benefit only one brother, and not all the siblings.

Father Paul said earlier in his letter, “God doesn’t have any favorites!” (Romans 2:11, CEV)

Father James said in his letter, “Don’t treat some people better than others.” (James 2:1, ERV)

Father Peter said, “I really am learning that God doesn’t show partiality to one group of people over another. Rather, in every nation, whoever worships him and does what is right is acceptable to him.” (Acts 10:34-35, CEB)

And the witness of the Old Testament says, “Cut away the thick calluses from your heart and stop being so willfully hardheaded. God, your God, is the God of all gods, he is the Master of all masters, a God immense and powerful and awesome. He doesn’t play favorites, takes no bribes, makes sure orphans and widows are treated fairly, takes loving care of foreigners by seeing that they get food and clothing.” (Deuteronomy 10:17-18, MSG)

For our failure to realize that the whole world is a family, that Christ is all and in all: O Lord, forgive.

For our prejudice and self-consciousness of race, color, or language: O Lord, forgive.

For our indifference and lack of concern for our neighbors living in poverty and unemployment and for children who are ill-clothed, illiterate, and ill: O Lord, forgive.

For our unwillingness to understand the needs and problems of other people, the bitterness of those without power, and the groans of the oppressed: O Lord, forgive.

For our readiness to acquiesce in the ways of the majority, to seek the path of least resistance, and to prefer popularity to fairness: O Lord, forgive. Christ have mercy on us all. Amen.

Have a Piece of Humble Pie (Romans 9:14-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year ALeave a comment

What can we say—that God is unfair? That’s unthinkable! For example, God said to Moses, “I will be kind to anyone I want to. I will be merciful to anyone I want to.” Therefore, God’s choice does not depend on a person’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.

For example, Scripture says to Pharaoh, “I put you here for this reason: to demonstrate my power through you and to spread my name throughout the earth.” Therefore, if God wants to be kind to anyone, he will be. If he wants to make someone stubborn, he will.

You may ask me, “Why does God still find fault with anyone? Who can resist whatever God wants to do?”

Who do you think you are to talk back to God like that? Can an object that was made say to its maker, “Why did you make me like this?” A potter has the right to do whatever he wants with his clay. He can make something for a special occasion or something for everyday use from the same lump of clay.

If God wants to demonstrate his anger and reveal his power, he can do it. But can’t he be extremely patient with people who are objects of his anger because they are headed for destruction? Can’t God also reveal the riches of his glory to people who are objects of his mercy and who he had already prepared for glory? This is what God did for us whom he called—whether we are Jews or not.

As God says in Hosea:

“Those who are not my people
I will call my people.
Those who are not loved
I will call my loved ones.
Wherever they were told,
‘You are not my people,’
they will be called children of the living God.”

Isaiah also says about Israel:

“Although the descendants of Israel are
as numerous as the grains of sand on the seashore,
only a few will be saved.
The Lord will carry out his sentence on the land,
completely and decisively.”

This is what Isaiah predicted:

“If the Lord of Armies hadn’t left us some descendants,
we would have been like Sodom and Gomorrah.” (God’s Word Translation)

St. Paul in a 9th-century manuscript from the Abbey of Saint Gall, St. Gallen Switzerland

In Christianity, humility is a virtue. Yet, sometimes Christians forget this, and they have to eat some humble pie.

In other words, there are times we need to be put in our place. It would go a lot better for us if we could just cultivate a humble spirit, rather than have humility forced upon us under embarrassing conditions.

The Apostle Paul realized he needed to make the Roman Church eat some humble pie. They were acting arrogant. The Jewish Christians and the Gentile Christians each thought they were better than the other. So, Paul reminded them both who was really in charge of things.

The proud person’s cry, when things don’t go their way, is “It’s not fair!” That’s because they believe they deserve to have something, to be on top, to call the shots on how things ought to go.

Paul was particularly hard on his fellow Jewish Christians, probably because he was quite familiar with their mindset about Gentiles (non-Jewish persons). The Jews tended to feel superior over Gentiles, and thus, to believe that they have the high ground and the right to trump Gentile thinking.

But Paul also took the Gentile Christians to task. They had a nasty habit of rolling their eyes whenever their Jewish sisters and brothers talked. The Gentiles mostly saw the Jews as hopelessly stuck in their old traditions and ways of doing things. And so, they believed new leadership was needed, wanting those crusty old guys out.

Therefore, each group – both the Jewish Christians and the Gentile Christians – had some major hang up’s about who should be in the Church and heading things up, and who should be out.

The Apostle (bless his exasperated heart) didn’t take sides. That’s because he knew that both groups were being knuckleheads. Each of them needed to get out of their pride. So, Paul cut them each some humble pie and dished it out.

Who is in and who is out is none of their concern. And what’s more, you’re never going to really know why some are in and some are out. The reason is that God is going to do what God is going to do. None of the petty posturing amongst each other means anything. In truth, everything is based on God’s call, and not on human decision, race, ethnicity, gender, politics, or anything else. It all comes down to God, not us.

God makes decisions and extends calls to people, all the time, that we don’t like. And Paul knew this. It is, in fact, what kept him humble. Paul understood he didn’t deserve a thing from God; everything good thing he had came from the Lord.

In his conversion from Jewish Saul to Christian Paul, the Apostle felt the sting of rejection from both groups. The Jews saw him as a traitor, a turncoat. The Gentiles didn’t trust him and wouldn’t accept him. But Paul, having had to eat humble pie himself – dished out by Jesus himself – learned to be patient and gentle. (Acts 9:1-5)

Yet, Paul had his boundaries and his limits. And the Roman Church crossed them. It was time for the entire church to hear a “suck it up, buttercup,” speech.

For the Jewish Christians, they were never “in” just because they were Abraham’s descendants. Abraham was called by God; therefore, everyone is called by God and not the other way around – and God calls whomever God chooses to call. There was nothing in Abraham to warrant a good choice. But God chose him anyway. And if God wants to take some of the Jews, the “chosen” people out, God will do it, because God isn’t accountable to us.

For the Gentile Christians, they weren’t brought “in” because of their own choice. Before they ever had a chance to choose God, God chose them. They were lost in darkness, far from God. But God, by sheer mercy and grace, called the Gentiles. And now that the Gentiles are “in” they can just as easily be “out” if God so chooses.

“The wonder is not that some are saved and others not, but that anybody is saved at all. If we receive what we deserve (judgment) or if we receive what we do not deserve (mercy), then in neither case is God unjust.”

John R.W. Stott

All of this is more than a bunch of power politics from the ancient world; these same dynamics impact us today in quite similar ways.

Any group of people who enjoy privilege over another group needs a slice of humble pie. Any group who continually disparages those in authority also needs a slice of humble pie.

In reality, there are times when every single one of us – including every community, institution, organization, corporation, and nation – needs a stiff reminder of who we really are, why we are really here, and what we are really supposed to be doing.

To eat humble pie means to acknowledge one’s mistake or wrongdoing and accept the humiliation that goes with that acknowledgement. We need to confess our sins and complicity in a host of the world’s ills. And we need to acknowledge that our awful predicaments aren’t just somebody else’s fault; we caused the crud.

We need the humility to ask for help; the humility to work with others very different from ourselves; and the humility to realize we could make the same mistakes again, if not for the grace of God.

Amongst us humans, we are all a community of equals. Yet, amongst God, none of humanity is equal to divinity. A clay pot has neither the right nor the ability to question the potter; they aren’t on the same level.

To enjoy divine privileges never gives us the right to show human prejudice. So let us be people who help one another live according to justice, mercy, and humility – for these are the very things which God calls us to embrace. (Micah 6:8)

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, and so, disparage others.
Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess, we lose our perspective and believe we are the masters of our own fate.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly by doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Jesus, in the enablement of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Who’s In Charge? (Romans 9:6-13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

I am not saying that the promise of God has failed; for not all the people of Israel are the people of God. Nor are all of Abraham’s descendants the children of God. God said to Abraham, “It is through Isaac that you will have the descendants I promised you.” This means that the children born in the usual way are not the children of God; instead, the children born as a result of God’s promise are regarded as the true descendants. For God’s promise was made in these words: “At the right time I will come back, and Sarah will have a son.”

And this is not all. For Rebecca’s two sons had the same father, our ancestor Isaac. But in order that the choice of one son might be completely the result of God’s own purpose, God said to her, “The older will serve the younger.” He said this before they were born, before they had done anything either good or bad; so God’s choice was based on his call, and not on anything they had done. As the scripture says, “I loved Jacob, but I hated Esau.” (Good News Translation)

My friend, I want to break this to you as gently as possible yet as straightforward as I can: Neither you nor I are in control or in charge! 

Any semblance of control we think we have is merely a delusion. Now, before you push back, its important to make the distinction between control and responsibility. We are to own our decisions and take responsibility for their outcome. The Bible describes this as “self-control.”

God’s saving kindness has appeared for the benefit of all people. It trains us to avoid ungodly lives filled with worldly desires so that we can live self-controlled, moral, and godly lives in this present world. (Titus 2:11-12, GW)

Attempting to control others is not our job – never was, isn’t now, and never will be – that’s God’s business. 

God makes choices. This was the Apostle Paul’s point to the church at Rome. The congregation was a volatile mix of Jew and Gentile. There was some bad history between them that stretched back centuries. Yet, here they were together in one church worshiping Jesus. 

Paul made a responsible choice to step into the mess between them and let each group know something important: It is neither their choice about who’s in and who’s out as God’s people, nor their choice about how someone gets in to start with. Those sorts of decisions are God’s choice. 

The Jews needed to know that Gentiles are in the kingdom because God does the work of choosing, calling, and including Gentiles just as much as Jews. 

The Gentiles needed to know that they were not replacing Jews as chosen people. The point? God chooses whomever he darn well pleases to choose, and the choice is not up to you or me.

This speaks on so many levels about how to conduct ourselves with one another in the church. The foundation of all good church dynamics is the recognition that God is the one who calls and gathers people together. That always needs to be the starting point in our relations with each other. The church is not a random collection of persons who happen to be in the same place at the same time. God puts us where we are.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NIV)

The Church is a covenantal community. Believers in Jesus are receiving the blessings first promised by God’s covenant relationship with Abraham in the Old Testament that all nations would be blessed by grace through faith. God is committed to acting on their behalf through election, adoption, and redemption. The new covenant community, the Church, receives the promises of God and exists to follow Jesus Christ in all things. 

The Church is not a voluntary society, like every other human institution. Rather, the Church is the divinely called community of the redeemed whom God has joined through the Spirit to Christ. Therefore, an individual, theologically speaking, does not join a church; instead, God joins the Church to Jesus.

The Nicene Creed (325 C.E.) describes the Church with four identifying marks:

  1. The Church is one.  The unity of the Church comes from God’s covenant people being in fellowship with the Lord through Jesus in the Spirit. This unity is expressed through the bond of love and a common worship that includes the spiritually forming practices of preaching, liturgy, and sacraments.  Since believers serve a triune God of Father, Son, and Spirit who exists in unity, so Christians are to work toward maintaining their unity through the bond of peace.
  2. The Church is holy.  The Church is holy by virtue of Christ’s finished work. Therefore, the members of the Church are saints, called by God to live in holiness and participate with him in carrying out his purposes on earth. As God is holy, so believers are to be holy in all they do. Since Christians are holy through God’s justification in Christ, so the Church as saints must uphold justice in the world.
  3. The Church is catholic.  This means that God’s people are found in all parts of the world throughout all times in history, including every race, class, gender, and ethnicity. Since the Church includes all kinds of people from different cultures, these believers must work together. The Church, across all kinds of denominations, ought to minister together to the total life of all people through gospel proclamation and good works done in the Spirit.
  4. The Church is apostolic.  Apostolic means “to be sent.” The Church is not only a people who are gathered for worship and teaching; they are also sent into the world as salt and light to those who are in darkness. Where the Church goes, the rule and reign of Jesus goes with them so that the gospel is spread to all nations.

Sovereign God, you choose whomever you want to include in your kingdom. Allow me to see Jesus in each person you call and save so that I can love and encourage them in the faith which is mutually and graciously given to us all; through Christ our Lord, and the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Amen.