Finally, these three men stopped arguing with Job, because he refused to admit he was guilty.
Elihu from Buz was there, and he had become upset with Job for blaming God instead of himself. He was also angry with Job’s three friends for not being able to prove that Job was wrong. Elihu was younger than these three, and he let them speak first. But he became irritated when they could not answer Job, and he said to them:
I am much younger than you,
so I have shown respect
by keeping silent.
I once believed age
was the source of wisdom;
now I truly realize
wisdom comes from God.
Age is no guarantee of wisdom
and understanding.
That’s why I ask you
to listen to me.
I eagerly listened
to each of your arguments,
but not one of you proved
Job to be wrong.
You shouldn’t say,
“We know what’s right!
Let God punish him.”
Job hasn’t spoken against me,
and so I won’t answer him
with your arguments.
All of you are shocked;
you don’t know what to say.
But am I to remain silent,
just because you
have stopped speaking?
No! I will give my opinion,
because I have so much to say,
that I can’t keep quiet.
I am like a swollen wineskin,
and I will burst
if I don’t speak.
I don’t know how to be unfair
or to flatter anyone—
if I did, my Creator
would quickly destroy me! (Contemporary English Version)
Job and his three friends had talked themselves out. There were plenty of words and frustration, with nothing left but an impasse. We anticipate hearing from God….
But there is yet another who was present with Job and his companions. Elihu was a young man in tow with the older three friends. He respectfully held back and observed all the proceedings between the four men. As he watched, the angrier he became, to the point of feeling the need to speak up and offer his own voice concerning Job’s terrible suffering and trouble.
Elihu was angry because he believed Job was setting up himself as more righteous than God. And he was also perturbed with the three friends. He viewed them as bungling their argument against Job, offering no convincing answers.
Within the scope of what Elihu and the friends were talking about, the arguments were indeed found lacking. No one had the necessary wisdom to handle Job’s case.
But therein lies the problem. The assumptions are presuppositions which underlie all the arguments and speeches were off. The friends simply assumed Job was sinful, because they presupposed that anyone undergoing such terrible suffering is being punished by God.
Therefore, all of the bluster was doomed to go nowhere. Underneath all of the exhausting chaos was a cosmic drama which none of the human actors were privy to. In other words, nobody knew what they were talking about.
God only seems to be silent and absent from the perspective of us humans. We are an impatient people. Much like Elihu, we sit on our hands and bite our lips, waiting to get out what we want to say.
I wonder how much of Elihu’s listening wasn’t actually listening, but was thinking about what he was going to say when he got his chance. Job’s friends were ineffective in proving Job wrong and guilty before God, according to Elihu.
But if any of us begin our thinking and our speaking with assumptions and presuppositions which are off base, then it’s likely that nearly all of our thoughts and words will be unhelpful and even hurtful.
Too many people have a compulsion to speak and get their own opinions out. Few persons, however, have the same sort of compulsion to truly observe, listen, and learn. So, what we typically get are Elihu-like belching of speech – which may make the person speaking feel better, yet leaves everyone else groaning for them to keep their mouth shut.
An unteachable spirit which values one’s own thoughts and opinions over others is the mark of a fool, and not a sage. There ought never to be more wind coming from someone’s mouth than from the weather.
Unfortunately, many people claim to know and understand more than they actually do. And just because someone occupies a high position does not necessarily mean they know what they’re talking about.
In our anger and perturbed states of mind, we vent and talk too much, as if we have the corner on truth. Yet, how much of our talking is really worth others listening to us?
Instead of assuming we already know what is happening with another, there are questions we can ask ourselves, which may help guide us to speak more truthfully with helpful, not hurtful, words.
The following few questions can help orient us with compassion toward what another is saying:
- What is the main point being made?
- What might be going through their mind when they say that?
- What need do they have that they are trying to satisfy?
- What is the motivation of the person speaking?
Just as important is our own self-awareness. These questions can help us monitor ourselves as we listen and respond to others:
- How am I feeling right now in this moment?
- What do I need right now?
- Why does that particular statement or opinion irritate me so much?
- How am I presenting myself right now – my affect, posture, and eye contact?
We can also ask questions of God during a conversation:
- Will you please help me to understand the person and what is being said?
- How does this square with my understanding of you and your Word?
- Which values – that are important to You – apply to this discussion?
- What do you want me to say and do?
You will say the wrong thing
if you talk too much—
so be sensible and watch
what you say. (Proverbs 10:19, CEV)
The Book of Job would likely look a lot different if Job’s friends had taken such a wise saying to heart.
The following is a prayer from St. Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is discord, union;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.
Rev. Tim Ehrhardt 