Tag: prayer

Dealing with Hate (Genesis 37:5-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more than ever. “Listen to this dream,” he said. “We were out in the field, tying up bundles of grain. Suddenly my bundle stood up, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before mine!”

His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dreams and the way he talked about them.

Soon Joseph had another dream, and again he told his brothers about it. “Listen, I have had another dream,” he said. “The sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed low before me!”

This time he told the dream to his father as well as to his brothers, but his father scolded him. “What kind of dream is that?” he asked. “Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow to the ground before you?” But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father wondered what the dreams meant. (New Living Translation)

We need to talk about hate, and it’s wicked stepsisters jealousy and disrespect.

In the ancient world, the oldest son was usually the one favored by parents. The eldest child would typically grow up to lead the family and inherit the largest share of the family resources. Joseph and Benjamin were two sons born to Jacob and Jacob’s favored wife, Rachel (Genesis 30:22-24). They were the youngest of Jacob’s twelve sons.

Jacob loved Joseph more than any other of his children (Genesis 37:3). To make things even more complicated, Jacob made his affection for the seventeen-year-old Joseph very public by giving Joseph a special long multi-colored robe. Not surprisingly, the other brothers hated him. 

“Joseph’s Dreams” by Susan Govatos

From the brothers’ perspective, Joseph added insult to injury by sharing a dream of his, implying that all of them would one day bow down to him. Dreams were significant in the ancient world; they were understood to be one way the divine realm could communicate with humans. But all this only made Joseph’s brothers hate him more than they already did.

Unfortunately, as the story unfolds further into Genesis, Joseph’s brothers take their sibling rivalry to a diabolical level. And it’s all fueled by their hatred and jealousy.

We all can relate to feelings of hatred and jealousy toward another. They can overwhelm us. So, what do we do when these big emotions come upon us?

  1. Consider your thoughts. If you find that you’ve been engaging in an all-or-nothing thought or a generalization, consider what a more balanced thought might be. Instead of saying, “He’s a total jerk,” consider instead, “I don’t like what he did to me” as an alternative. This approach typically makes the difference between health and sickness. A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (Proverbs 14:30, NLT)
  2. Pause for a moment and be curious about whether what you’re telling yourself about the other person or group is accurate. Crowds came from the villages around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those possessed by evil spirits, and they were all healed. The high priest and his officials, who were Sadducees, were filled with jealousy. They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail. (Acts 5:15-18, NLT)
  3. Lead with empathy and compassion if you feel hatred toward a person or group. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Compassion is engaging in an act of kindness. If you come upon your enemy’s ox or donkey that has strayed away, take it back to its owner. If you see that the donkey of someone who hates you has collapsed under its load, do not walk by. Instead, stop and help. (Exodus 23:4-5, NLT) “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:27-28, NLT)
  4. Talk to God instead of bottling up your feelings. Many people believe that ignoring their emotions will make them disappear, but in reality, it’s quite the opposite. Rather than going away, unaddressed emotions build up and intensify over time. Praying to the Lord and crying out to God are therapeutic. Rescue me from the mud; don’t let me sink any deeper! Save me from those who hate me, and pull me from these deep waters. (Psalm 69:14, NLT)
  5. Receive God’s love and kindness. We cannot give that which we have not first received. Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:3-5, NLT)

If we spend a disproportionate amount of time hating someone in our heart, have difficulty focusing on other things because of jealousy, or consider disrespecting another to the point of violence, then we need help; we cannot handle this alone.

Seeking help to resolve hatred doesn’t mean that there’s mental illness going on. Everyone experiences hatred at some point in their lives. Allowing God and others to help is a rational, responsible, and courageous act.

Almighty God, from whom all thoughts of truth and peace proceed: kindle, we pray, in the hearts of all, the true love of peace and guide us with your pure and peaceable wisdom, so that your kingdom may go forward on this earth, filled with the knowledge of your love; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Anxious (Genesis 32:3-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob praying for deliverance from his brother Esau, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

Jacob sent messengers on ahead to Esau, who lived in the land of Seir, also known as Edom. Jacob told them to say to Esau, “Master, I am your servant! I have lived with Laban all this time, and now I own cattle, donkeys, and sheep, as well as many slaves. Master, I am sending these messengers in the hope that you will be kind to me.”

When the messengers returned, they told Jacob, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is heading this way with 400 men.”

Jacob was so frightened that he divided his people, sheep, cattle, and camels into two groups. He thought, “If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape.”

Then Jacob prayed:

You, Lord, are the God who was worshiped by my grandfather Abraham and by my father Isaac. You told me to return home to my family, and you promised to be with me and make me successful. I don’t deserve all the good things you have done for me, your servant. When I first crossed the Jordan, I had only my walking stick, but now I have two large groups of people and animals. Please rescue me from my brother. I am afraid he will come and attack not only me, but my wives and children as well. But you have promised that I would be a success and that someday it will be as hard to count my descendants as it is to count the grains of sand along the seashore.

After Jacob had spent the night there, he chose some animals as gifts for Esau: 200 female goats and 20 males, 200 female sheep and 20 males, 30 female camels with their young, 40 cows and 10 bulls, and 20 female donkeys and 10 males.

Jacob put servants in charge of each herd and told them, “Go ahead of me and keep a space between each herd.” Then he said to the servant in charge of the first herd, “When Esau meets you, he will ask whose servant you are. He will want to know where you are going and who owns those animals in front of you. So tell him, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob, who is coming this way. He is sending them as a gift to his master Esau.’ ”

Jacob also told the men in charge of the second and third herds and those who followed to say the same thing when they met Esau. And Jacob told them to be sure to say that he was right behind them. Jacob hoped the gifts would make Esau friendly, so Esau would be glad to see him when they met. Jacob’s men took the gifts on ahead of him, but he spent the night in camp. (Contemporary English Version)

Anxiety’s a booger. It arises as an unwanted guest within our psyche, putting pressure on our chest, and becoming a squatter in the pit of our gut. To be anxious is to have a vague sense of dread, anticipating some upcoming threat.

Jacob knew the feeling well. His mind raced with thoughts of what might happen and how to placate Esau when he encountered his brother. Jacob left home two decades earlier to escape Esau’s vengeance. Now their meeting up was imminent. Jacob was scared spitless.

What do you do when distress and dread wrap you in a straitjacket of anxiety?

Avoid avoidance

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding it prevents us from moving forward. It makes us anxious.  One way of facing your fear and/or anxiety is to name it. When fear, anxiety, terror, apprehension, or distress arises, then name it. In naming our fears and anxieties, they become real and, thus, manageable. 

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”

Thict Nhat Hanh (1926-2022)

Another way to face fear is to “sit with it” for a short while. Give yourself permission to feel the anxiety for a set amount of time without judgment or trying to get over it. Pay attention to where you are carrying your anxiety in your body.

Focus on what’s within your control

We cannot control other people. There’s no way Jacob was going to control or manipulate his brother Esau. Many circumstances are outside our control. And yet, we always have the choice of self-control. Giving into addictions, or not facing problems are ways of giving up control of ourselves. Taking good care of ourselves, and focusing on good attitudes are ways of strengthening personal control.

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder in those times when we feel out of control:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Promote a positive mindset

Positive attitudes help us widen our perspective on things – and with a broader view of things comes more awareness of choices. Making wise choices for ourselves now, builds resilience and fortifies us for difficult situations down the road – without succumbing to old unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Find purpose and meaning in life

Experiencing traumatic events might cause us to question whether our lives have meaning, or not. We may feel unnecessary or expendable, and see no meaning for the future. 

So, it’s important to discover or reconnect with the spirituality within you. Take the time and energy to read Scripture, walk through nature, or discuss matters of the spirit with others. Just as our physical spine helps to support us and is not optional, so we also have a spiritual spine that needs attention for which we cannot live without.

Get support

Other people, like trusted friends and family, can help us make a realistic assessment of the fear and anxiety we are experiencing. With the support of others, we become more confident that we can deal with issues. Finding a church or some other religious gathering can be a fresh means of emotional support.

You are not alone. We are all in this life together. So, let’s rely upon one another and not believe that we just need to pull up ourselves out of impending trouble. There is a God (and God’s people) who are ready to help, if but we just ask.

O God, preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Formed with Virtue (Romans 1:8-15)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you because your faith is being reported all over the world. God, whom I serve in my spirit in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you.

I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you, just as I have had among the other Gentiles.

I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are in Rome. (New International Version)

Gratitude, service, prayer, encouragement, and duty. These are the qualities which defined the Apostle Paul; he sought to embody them every day of his life.

These virtues can define us, as well. If we seek to develop and exhibit each one, then we will find true community and satisfying relationships. And these very qualities were what Paul longed for in the Roman Church – because the believers were too often characterized by ingratitude, serving only those who were like them, a lack of prayer, discouraging others, and a warped sense of duty.

Jews and Gentiles were together in one church. It wasn’t going to be easy to get along and work side-by-side, but Paul was absolutely committed to it. Since the Apostle was both a Jew and a missionary to Gentiles, his heart deeply desired a mutual ministry in which the Christians thoroughly loved one another and had each other’s backs.

Gratitude

For that to happen, the practice of thanksgiving is needed.

We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. (2 Corinthians 4:14-15, NIV)

In truth, gratitude is a spiritual practice which requires cultivation and attention. One of the best ways, in my opinion, of doing this is to keep a gratitude journal – actually hand writing what we are thankful for each day. And, when it comes to others, developing the habit of saying the words, “Thank you,” “I am so grateful,” and “You are so kind, I appreciate it.”

It’s hard to be a spiritual curmudgeon and grump through life whenever gratitude shapes our relationships. Gratitude has the practical effect of curbing our critical tendencies; it helps us as value people by thanking them often and clearly for who they are.

Service

To serve God and others is a way of offering resources, time, influence, and spiritual gifts for the betterment of humanity. This is how we love our neighbor as ourselves.

“Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.”

Jesus (John 12:26, NIV)

By orienting our lives around service, we begin to see other people’s needs and meet them – since we are taking the time and energy in getting to know them. As servants, we learn to “walk the talk” and embody what we profess. And, if we couple service with gratitude, we are able to whistle while we work and avoid bitterness.

Prayer

We all pray and pray for others. The real trick is to remember one another in prayer and persevere in it. For that to happen, we must allow God to heal our distracted selves and bring integrity to our fragmented lives.

“We should make a gift of our hearts, emptying them of ourselves, that they may be filled with God. Our almighty Father becomes one with us and transforms us, uniting Creator and creature.”

Teresa of Ávila (1515-1582)

By centering our identity firmly in Christ, we open ourselves to remember and intercede for others.

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. (Ephesians 6:18, NIV)

Along with gratitude and service, our prayers take a focused shape of supporting others in need of healing, care, courage, patience, etc. And we replace any tendency to control or manipulate with a prayerful trust in God.

Encouragement

The Apostle Paul had a deep longing to help others grow into their God-given potential. He sought to empower others by sharing his life with them. Paul desired everyone to give themselves for the common good of all.

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:12-13, NIV)

None of us can make it in life without the help and encouragement of others. So, we need authentic relationships for mutual help and support, to learn from each other, and garner wisdom from those who have walked with God many years.

Encouragement is greatly moved along when gratitude, service, and prayer accompany it, so that an encouraging community of people are a loving group of folks for whom others want to be around.

Duty

A sense of obligation is a good thing. It turns our privilege and power into a force for good in the church and the world. In reality, we are stewards of God’s gifts and resources given to us. This enables us to have a healthy practice of duty to our fellow humanity.

Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (Matthew 6:19-20, NIV)

Through infusing our duty with gratitude, service, prayer, and encouragement, it becomes a delight to freely give of ourselves and our stuff, without a begrudging attitude. Generosity becomes a way of life, and we avoid becoming unhappy misers.

“If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small.”

C.S. Lewis

Conclusion

In the Roman Church of Paul’s day, the relational dynamic had not yet broken down to the point of Schadenfreude, that is, actively delighting in another’s misfortune – but they were on their way. To mitigate and stop this from happening, Paul modeled a genuine spirit of thanksgiving, loving service, remembering prayer, healthy encouragement, and generous duty.

We would do well to follow his example of virtue, and be shaped by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Generous God, I give thanks to you for the gifts you have given me – life, family, friends, time, talents, and possessions. All that I have comes from you. Help me to remember this and rejoice in your goodness.

Walk with me, my God. Help me on my spiritual journey, so that I may constantly renew my relationship with you and all the good people in our parish and beyond.

Renew in me your Spirit. Give me the strength and courage to become a better follower of Jesus, in whose name I am bold to pray. Amen.

How Long, O Lord? (Psalm 13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
No Immediate Relief, by Melani Pyke

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all day long?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
and my enemy will say, “I have prevailed”;
    my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

But I trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord
    because he has dealt bountifully with me. (New Revised Standard Version)

Faith is more than the mind’s affirmation of theological beliefs. Faith is also visceral, an expression from deep in the gut about what is going on around us. For faith to be truly faith, it needs to hold the whole person, not merely the brain.

Today’s psalm is the reaction of a person of faith to God when the world as they knew it was crumbling and broken. This is a psalm of lament which moves and deepens the faith of the worshiper. When the world around us changes and all seems horribly awry, we understandably become disoriented – we lose our normal bearings and feel confused and lost.

One of the simplest observations we can make about this psalm, along with all psalms of lament, is that, whether the content is ethically pure or not, the words of the psalmist directed toward God reflect the pain and agony of people in the middle of world-shattering circumstances.

In such dire situations, there are no simplistic answers or easy diagnoses of problems. Complicated layers of grief exist, and mere cerebral responses will always fall short of adequately being in the present moment, sitting with emotions, and getting in touch with the gut.

I am leery of folks who quickly affirm trust in God when a terrible event has just occurred. Bypassing the gut and the heart cannot bring a whole person response to that event and will inevitably result in a cheap faith which cannot support the immensity of the situation.

Even worse, it leads to a bootstrap theology where people are expected to pull themselves up in a free-willpower way that is impossible to achieve. Sometimes failure of faith comes not because of a person’s weakness, but because the faith being espoused is not faith, at all.

Biblical faith expresses weakness, need, help, curiosity, and doubt with a healthy dose of emotional flavor and visceral reaction.

If we had just one psalm of lament as an example, that would be enough. Yet, in fact, we have dozens of them, with more sprinkled throughout the entirety of Holy Scripture. We even have a book of the Bible given completely to lamenting a loss, Lamentations, which is a deep reflection of the prophet Jeremiah’s grief.

So, let us now be honest with ourselves and each other. All of us, at one time or another, have given a cry of “How long, O Lord!”

There are times when our prayers seem unheard and unnoticed, as if they only bounce off the ceiling and fall flat. There are hard circumstances which continue to move along unabated with evil seeming to mock us. We long for divine intervention, we long for deliverance, we long for healing – and when it does not come our disappointment and frustration boils over into an unmitigated cry of wondering where God is in all the thick crud.

Whenever a person and/or a group of people are traumatized, not once but over-and-over again, how can we not cry aloud, “How long, O Lord!?”

When despair settles in the spirit, disappointment seeps in the soul, and depression becomes our daily bread, how can we not muster up the voice that yells, “How long, O Lord!?”

Wherever powerful people cause the lives of others to be downtrodden and despised, how can we not scream, “How long, O Lord!?”

When the covert actions of others demean and denigrate, leaving us with private pain which no one sees, how can we not bring forth the words, “How long, O Lord!?”

If you have never uttered this kind of wondering about God, then perhaps a profound disconnect with your own spirit exists. A full-orbed faith names the awful events and situations and sits with the feelings surrounding those events with God.

Psalm 13 is important because it gives us words when the bottom falls out of our lives and everything is upside-down.

This psalm helps us admit that life is not as well-ordered as a simple Sunday School faith may pretend. The psalm acknowledges that life is terribly messy, and the psalmist protests to heaven that this quagmire of injustice is plain unfair. What’s more, this psalm helps move the sufferer to a new place.

God is big enough to handle everything we throw at him — our pain, our anger, our questions, our doubts. Genuine biblical faith is comfortable challenging God. And God is there, listening, even if we cannot perceive it. Just because we might need to endure adversity does not mean there is something wrong with us, or God.

We likely will not get an answer to our “how long?” We will get something else: mercy. Mercy is compassion shown to another when it is within one’s power to punish. If we widen our horizon a bit, we will observe a God who cares:

“The Lord isn’t slow to keep his promise, as some think of slowness, but he is patient toward you, not wanting anyone to perish but all to change their hearts and lives.” (2 Peter 3:9, CEB)

The only thing better than the joy of personal salvation is the joy of many people’s deliverance and collective emancipation. Patience, perseverance, and endurance through hardship will require expressions of faith with words of affirmation along with words of agony. And the psalms help us with both.

Lord God Almighty, I pray for the forgotten and the unseen – the stranger, the outcast, the poor and homeless – may they be remembered and seen by you.

Merciful God, I pray for those who struggle with mental illness, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation – may there be resources to help, enough staff employed, and finances given, toward mental health services. May there be basic human kindness available for the hurting.

Compassionate God, I pray for those who wrestle with sorrow – may they know your comfort within the dark thoughts which currently seem to triumph.

Attentive Lord, I pray for the crestfallen and the ones considered fallen by those around them – may they receive your restoration and reconciling grace. Protect them from judgment and shield them with your mercy.

Lord of all creation, I trust in your steadfast love and rely upon your infinite grace. May our tears turn to songs of joy, to the glory of Jesus Christ. Amen.