When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. He said:
“May the day of my birth perish,
and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’
That day—may it turn to darkness;
may God above not care about it;
may no light shine on it.
May gloom and utter darkness claim it once more;
may a cloud settle over it;
may blackness overwhelm it.
That night—may thick darkness seize it;
may it not be included among the days of the year
nor be entered in any of the months.
May that night be barren;
may no shout of joy be heard in it.
May those who curse days curse that day,
those who are ready to rouse Leviathan.
May its morning stars become dark;
may it wait for daylight in vain
and not see the first rays of dawn,
for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me
to hide trouble from my eyes.
“Why did I not perish at birth,
and die as I came from the womb?
Why were there knees to receive me
and breasts that I might be nursed?
For now I would be lying down in peace;
I would be asleep and at rest
with kings and rulers of the earth,
who built for themselves places now lying in ruins,
with princes who had gold,
who filled their houses with silver.
Or why was I not hidden away in the ground like a stillborn child,
like an infant who never saw the light of day?
There the wicked cease from turmoil,
and there the weary are at rest.
Captives also enjoy their ease;
they no longer hear the slave driver’s shout.
The small and the great are there,
and the slaves are freed from their owners.
“Why is light given to those in misery,
and life to the bitter of soul,
to those who long for death that does not come,
who search for it more than for hidden treasure,
who are filled with gladness
and rejoice when they reach the grave?
Why is life given to a man
whose way is hidden,
whom God has hedged in?
For sighing has become my daily food;
my groans pour out like water.
What I feared has come upon me;
what I dreaded has happened to me.
I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil.” (New International Version)
By anyone’s definition of trouble, the biblical character of Job was in a world of it. Through a series of terrible calamities in which he lost all his children and his earthly possessions, Job was sitting in misery with painful sores on his body from head to toe.
We as readers of Job’s story, have been informed of the behind the scenes discussion between God and Satan. Out of that conversation, Satan was allowed to do anything to Job except outright kill him. (Job 1:1-12)
Job and his “friends,” however, were not privy to any of that insider information. All they knew was the bald reality concerning Job’s loss of family, property, and health. When the friends heard of the tragedies, they came to visit him. And upon seeing Job, they barely recognized him, devastated from the harsh circumstances of his experiences.
What would you do if you were Job? I’ve seen people give up on life altogether, having gone through a lot less than Job. What would you do if you were the friends? I’ve known people that didn’t even have their friends show up, at all, when they went through extreme difficulties.
Sometimes I feel as if I’m in the business of being a chaplain to the Job’s of this world. I consider myself a creative guy, but the experiences and stories from some of the patients I’ve seen, I don’t think I could ever have imagined. There are hardships some folks have lived through that have no words. “Trauma” is an understatement for them.
That was the spiritual and emotional territory for Job. Yet, he held fast to his commitment toward God. But that didn’t mean Job was going to keep quiet and be passive before God or anyone else.
Job was in such a holistic state of misery that he wished he were never born. Both body and soul were hurting beyond hurt.
It is laughable to me to consider that Job would have ever said anything like, “Well, there are others who have it worse than me!” “I could be more thankful for what I have!” “My wife is alive. I need to be strong for her.” And yet, people in awful situations tell themselves things like this every day.
Then, there are the friends. Within the biblical Book of Job, they are actually at their best in the beginning of the story. That is, they are quiet and don’t say a thing. Later, when they open their mouths, we get them saying shortsighted and ignorant things.
In our quest to make sense of unwanted and unasked for situations, we try to understand what is going on. But not everything is going to make sense. There is a chunk of life that will forever be nonsense to us. And it isn’t our task in this life to figure everything out – namely because there are some things that are well beyond our ever figuring out.
In saying that, it doesn’t mean that I am a nihilist. If you perhaps think that, then maybe you have an inordinate need to know all things and how they work.
Instead, I am pointing out something that may seem simple, in the midst of people’s lives that are incredibly complex with all sorts of strange permutations to them:
- If you have been through something life-changing, you need to tell your story to someone. To connect with another person who cares about what you are going through is vital. You cannot live without it.
- If your friend has been through something life-changing, you need to listen to their story, without immediate comment or thinking about how to respond. Your caring affect and demeanor is what just may save their life.
This is actually difficult work. Stories can be hard, because life can be hard. Listening is hard, because it hurts to hear another’s pain.
But it is more necessary than you could ever imagine.
As Jesus cried out on the cross, I cry out to you in pain, O God my Creator. Do not forsake me. Grant me relief from this suffering and preserve me in peace; through Jesus Christ my Savior, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Rev. Tim Ehrhardt 