Tag: love

Experiencing Grace… Again

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
It may be that, at some point in your life, you were deeply touched by a profound encounter with Jesus Christ.  You found peace, love, and joy.  Your mind and heart was swept up in the awe and wonder of God.  Perhaps you were deeply moved for a few hours, days, or weeks.  And then, eventually, you returned to a more normal routine of daily existence.  Over time you drifted from your spiritual experience and got caught up in the demands of career and family.  What happened next is that you began to treat Jesus like some old friend from another town whom you dearly loved in years past but have just lost track of.  Of course, it was unintentional.  You simply allowed circumstances to separate the relationship.  Preoccupation with something else took over.  Now, you often find yourself with this low level irritation, frustrated with others and unable to love as you ought.  You have become what the late author Brennan Manning called a “Christian agnostic” – people who do not deny Jesus, but just ignore him.
 
            If your days are trivial and hectic; if the clock determines what you do; if you are numb to the news and headlines around you; if you are all jangled and jittered by life’s circumstances; if phones and computers and gadgets rule your day; if there is little room for responding to humanity humanely; if you have settled into a comfortable piety and a well-fed virtue; if you have grown complacent and lead a practical life; then you are in need of being touched again by the grace and love of God in Christ by treating Jesus as if he were your very best friend as well as the awesome Son of God.
 
            We are all still here walking on this earth because none of our failures and lack of faith have proved terminal.  We are alive today because of God’s radical grace.  The forgiveness of God is a gratuitous liberation from guilt and regret.  It is an extreme amnesty.  Through looking in the mirror and seeing personal sinfulness we amazingly end up encountering the merciful love of the redeeming God.  The grace of God says to us, “Hush, child, I don’t need to know where you’ve been or what you’ve been up to; just let me love you.”  When we have experienced that kind of love, we are then in a position to love one another deeply from the heart.  It is a new life of love, the kind of love that comes from God – an unconditional love that is permanent and will never go away – it is imperishable (1 Peter 1:17-23).
 
            What this all means for us as God’s people is that we will not just show love when we are assured that we will be loved in return; we will not just wait for others to show love to us first; we will not expect to reach some higher level of knowledge or spirituality in order to be gracious and loving; we will simply love with the kind of love that has been given to us by Jesus. 
 
As God’s born again people, we love with a gracious, sacrificial, vulnerable, and desperate kind of love.  It is the kind of love that is like the intensive care waiting room in a hospital.  I have spent hours with people in such waiting rooms.  In the intensive care waiting room we are strangers, but there is a loving vulnerability to being together.  I have sat waiting with anguished people and listened to urgent questions: Will my husband make it? Will my child walk again even she lives? How do you live without your companion of thirty years?  The hospital waiting room is different from any other place in the world. And the people who wait are different. They can’t do enough for each other. No one is rude. The distinctions of race and class melt away. Each person pulls for everyone else.  Vanity and pretense vanish. No one is embarrassed about crying or asking tough questions.  In that moment their whole world is focused on the doctor’s next report. Everyone intuitively knows that loving someone else is what life is all about.  By God’s amazing grace we will all learn to live like that without having to learn it the hard way in a place of intense anxiety and suffering.
 

 

            There is always someone who needs God’s love as much or more than we do.  Christ’s resurrection is not some flash-in-a-pan – it has staying power – it is real and permanent.  And it is our hope of living a new life of gracious unconditional love.  Scores of people today look for love in all the wrong places.  As followers of Jesus, let’s show them the source of true love:  Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Jesus has come to you and shown you the full extent of his love through the cross.  Jesus chose to enter this broken world and limp through life with you.  Jesus actually expects more failure from you than you expect from yourself.  And he gives grace.  So, all of our failures to love as we ought can be laid before Jesus because there is grace that covers it all – a deep love that forgives, redeems, and makes new.  Amen.

Showing Brotherly Love

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
We are to show brotherly love toward each other in the church and honor one another above ourselves (Romans 12:16).  That means that we do not play favorites.  We are to affirm everyone’s inherent worth and dignity in the church.  We do this because God does not show favoritism, but loves each and every believer.  God demonstrated it by the sending of the Son, Jesus, to handle once for all through the cross the divisions and pride of people who exalt themselves above others.  The early church father, Origen, the bishop of Alexandria, said:  “It happens that we hate things we ought not to, just as we love things we ought not to.  We are ordered to love our brothers, not to hate them.  If you think that someone is ungodly, remember that Christ died for the ungodly.  And if you think that because your brother is a sinner you do not have to love him, remember that Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners.  And if he is righteous, then he is to be loved because God loves the righteous.”
 
            Showing familial love toward each other and honoring one another means that we treat each other as if we had been born of the same mother.  To keep a devoted affectionate spirit means that we would neither purposely insult another nor be deeply hurt if someone insulted us.  Sometimes we are too sensitive, and need not take things said and done so personally.  When offended we are not to return insult and offense (Romans 12:17).  Nor are we to hold it inside and nurse a grudge, only to withdraw then run away when things don’t go our way.  We are, instead, to honor the other person by going out of our way to work out an issue. 
 
In our society today, like no other society before us, we rely on paid professionals to take care of problems and issues that arise between us.  In our country right now we have 77,000 clinical psychologists, 192,000 clinical social workers, 105,000 mental health counselors, 50,000 marriage and family therapists, 17,000 nurse psychotherapists, 30,000 life coaches—and hundreds of thousands of nonclinical social workers and substance abuse counselors as well. Ross Douthat, in his book Bad Religion points out that “Most of these professionals spend their days helping people cope with everyday life problems, not true mental illness.” He concludes that “under our very noses a revolution has occurred in the personal dimension of life, such that millions of Americans must now pay professionals to listen to their everyday life problems.”
 
            This does not mean we should avoid therapists and counselors (I myself have been greatly benefited by such professionals and I think we ought to avail ourselves of their services).  However, there are many situations and problems and issues that can be resolved by a healthy church dynamic of loving one another with a family love that listens to and cares for each other.  We are to be real and honest enough with each other in the church to allow others to care for us.  There is nothing to be ashamed about in sharing what is going on in our lives with each other.
 
            Pastor Eugene Peterson has said that “being a church member is a vocation, a way of life. It means participation in an intricate web of hospitality, living at the intersection of human need and God’s grace, inhabiting a community where men and women who don’t fit are welcomed, where neglected children are noticed, where the stories of Jesus are told, and people who have no stories find that they do have stories, stories that are part of the Jesus story. Being a church member places us at a heavily trafficked intersection between heaven and earth.”  In other words, we are to practice our given privilege and responsibility as the priesthood of believers, occupying a place between heaven and earth where others can come and find life.
 
            Having affection for one another in brotherly love and honoring one another above ourselves means that we will be persistent in our service and patient in our efforts.  It means we will share our lives and practice hospitality.  One pastor had this story to tell about a couple in his church (not their real names):  John and Julie were happily anticipating the birth of their first child, a son. They had already decided to name him Paul. But when Paul was born, there was a big problem: Paul was born without eyes. John and Julie would later discover that their son had other serious issues, including severe autism and a growth hormone deficiency.  Two months after Paul’s birth, as John was looking at his son hooked up to tubes and sensors and surrounded by medical professionals, he quietly told God, “God, you are strong, that’s true, and you are wicked. You are mean. Do it to me—not to this boy. What did he ever do to you?” Shortly after that prayer, John and Julie quit going to church.  But one couple from the church refused to give up on them. Karl and Kathy never pressured John and Julie about spiritual issues. Instead, they would often stop by and leave simple gifts, like a loaf of fresh bread or a basket of soap and shampoo for Julie. John said that it was like Karl and Kathy were saying, “I notice you. I see you. I know you’re hurting and I love you.”  Eventually John and Julie accepted a dinner invitation from Karl and Kathy. During dinner John told Karl, “You can believe whatever you want. I don’t care. I have evidence that God is cruel.” Karl softly and simply replied, “I love you, John. I have regard for you, and I love your boy.”  Karl and Kathy’s four children also displayed unconditional love for their son. John described it this way:
 
‘They’d throw [my son] up in the air and make him laugh and do funny bird sounds and—and that was confounding, because most people, most adults couldn’t do that. And so I would have this extraordinary expression of love and affection at the dinner table here, and I would turn to my left—and there would be at least one of these children playing with my boy like he was a real boy. I wasn’t even sure he was a real boy at times.’
 
Based on this family’s quiet, persistent love, John and Julie finally returned to the Lord and to their local church. And when they returned Karl and Kathy stayed by their side, making sure their son made it into the nursery. John would later say, “They persisted. That was a big deal that they persisted with us.”
 
            A Christian congregation is a compassionate congregation, devoted and committed to one another.  That means when someone shares something with you that is difficult and personal, you are to respond.  No response (no affect) is just as damaging as saying the wrong thing.  If we work at keeping our spiritual fervor and being joyful in hope, then we will have a compassionate response to people.  You can never go wrong with these three caregiving basics:  1) listen well (don’t give unsolicited advice); 2) show respect by allowing others to share their grief and tell their story (rather than tell them how they should or shouldn’t feel); and, 3) pray for the person right then and there.
 
            In addition to those three caregiving basics, you can add the following practical ways to show you are devoted to another in brotherly love:  thoughtful gifts (i.e. grocery or restaurant coupons); words that help (i.e. “I truly care”, “I appreciate you”, “Count on me”, “It must hurt”); special services (i.e. offer to babysit or do some chores); and, outings together (i.e. go to a baseball game together).
 

 

            So, may you express your devotion and commitment to Christ’s church through words and acts of compassion, kindness, and love that reflect the love of God.

Loving One Another

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
The Church was formed to represent Christ on earth.  The Church is a new community of believers in Jesus, called and empowered by the Holy Spirit for mission.  Christianity was never intended to be just a personal faith; it was designed by God to be a community.  Community is not optional equipment for Christians, but is absolutely vital to every individual’s faith.  John Calvin said with conviction that “No one can have God for his Father who does not have the Church for his Mother.”  In other words, to have a loyalty and commitment to God is to have a dedicated and devoted spirit to one another in the church. 
 
Since the Church is not a random collection of individuals but a community of redeemed persons with a common confession of Christ, it is love that is to be the rule of this new community (John 13:34-35).  Church ministry is to be governed by loving one another.  Jesus is the model of love that we are to emulate.  The love that the Lord Jesus demonstrated was a service-oriented love which is the compassionate meeting of a need for another, regardless of who that person is.  When Jesus told his disciples that they should copy what he had done for them, the washing of their feet, it included washing the stinky feet of Judas. We are to love everyone in the community of saints, and not just our friends or the ones we like. 
 
Loving one another means we will be realistic about community.  Idyllic views of church and community as perfect unity and harmony always working together and moving forward in mission while singing Kum-ba-ya isn’t very realistic.  Community is often as messy as a pile of manure.  But God is expert at turning the mess into something useful and productive.  He uses the conflicts, idiosyncrasies, and even sin to grow his people in a more vibrant faith and ability to follow in Christ’s steps.  Jesus has loved us with a love that took care of our brokenness once for all through the cross.  Because of that love, we have motivation to love each other (1 John 4:9-11). 
 
            This is the kind of love that we cannot simply will ourselves to do because it only comes as a grateful response for the grace shown us in Christ.  We need help with this love which is demonstrated in both action and attitude.  And, thankfully, God in his grace has given us the help we need to engage in godly love by providing his Holy Spirit to help us.  The Spirit energizes and enables us to love each other.  There are times when we may lack the ability or spiritual energy needed for the work of loving each other.  It is in those times that we need to check our spiritual electrical box to make sure we haven’t tripped a breaker by trying to live the Christian life our own strength. 
 
We need the Spirit.  People who are full of God’s Holy Spirit don’t walk around like Droopy poodle with no affection on their faces.  The Spirit gives us the zeal we need to love one another.  It’s just a reality that we don’t do anything in life unless we have the motivation for it.  The Spirit is like the Christian’s personal and corporate trainer, encouraging, exhorting, getting in our face, comforting, and spurring us on toward Christ’s way of love. 
 
 
 
When believers in Jesus are energized by the Spirit and loving one another because of their collective love for God, then the mission of world evangelization begins to take shape.  All people will know you are Christ’s disciples if you love one another.  The way we treat each other in the church is foundational and fundamental to the mission of loving our neighbors.
 
            The medieval mystic, St. John of the Cross, said:  “Mission is putting love where love is not.”  When the church has a healthy and even supernatural dynamic of loving one another, they joyfully proclaim the good news to every person that Jesus is the one and only answer to the terrible brokenness of this world.
 
            Community for us as believers in Jesus is not optional, but absolutely necessary to mission.  Lesslie Newbigin was a British missionary to India for forty years.  After retiring and returning to Britain, he found his homeland was very different than when he left.  He was astounded to find the British people were more like the Indians – the society had become very less Christian and was now predominantly un-Christian.  It was clearly a post-Christian society.  What to do about it?  Here is Newbigin’s answer:
 
            “I have come to feel that the primary reality of which we have to take account in seeking for a Christian impact on public life is the Christian congregation.  How is it possible that the gospel should be credible, that people should come to believe that the power which has the last word in human affairs is represented by a man hanging on a cross?  I am suggesting that the only answer, the only hermeneutic of the gospel (that is, the only way society can discern or interpret who Jesus is) is a congregation of men and women who believe it and live by it.  I am, of course, not denying the importance of the many activities by which we seek to challenge public life with the gospel – evangelistic campaigns, distribution of Bibles and Christian literature, conferences, and even books such as this one.  But I am saying that these are all secondary, and that they have power to accomplish their purpose only as they are rooted in and lead back to a believing community.”
 
            This Christian congregation is the means by which a watching world will know about Jesus, if you have love for one another. The implications of community for our faith are significant.  If we keep other Christians at a distance and give them the stiff arm, we are really giving God the stiff arm.  Jesus identifies so closely in love to his people, that to love them is to love him.  It is fallen sinful humanity that keeps secrets and hides, making for themselves fig leaves to cover their nakedness.  It is not the way of love. 
 
            Will we take Christ’s way of love, and model ourselves after his life and teaching?  Will we give ourselves not only to Christ, but to each other because of love?  Will we allow love to characterize our life together to such a degree that a watching world desires to be a part of the community that we are a part of?
 
            The late African-American preacher E. V. Hill told the following story about an experience with a white Christian leader in the 1950s. Hill writes:  “As a freshman at Prairie View College (Texas) I was actively involved and was one of two students selected to go to our denomination’s annual meeting in Memphis.  The trip through the South was by car—three whites and two blacks traveling together. I had no idea how we’d eat or how we’d sleep. So great was my anxiety and hatred over how the trip might turn out that I almost backed out entirely …. In all my experience I had never seen a white man stand up for a black man and never felt I would.  But then Dr. Howard, the director of our trip and a white man spoke up. ‘We’ll be traveling together,’ he said. ‘If there isn’t a place where all of us can eat—none of us will eat. If there’s not a place all of us can sleep—none of us will sleep.’  That was all he said, but it was enough! For the first time in my life I had met a white man who was Christian enough to take a stand with a Christian black man.” 
 

 

May the Spirit give us the courage for community.

What My Grandson Has Taught Me About Ministry

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment

It is hard to believe that such a sweet, happy, and healthy looking child is actually not healthy at all.  About a year ago my daughter began to notice that something was not quite right with little Kolten.  He would have episodes in which his body would not act or respond in certain situations, sometimes even twitch or contort in a small way.  Instead of going away they became more frequent.  After thorough testing the diagnosis was confirmed:  epilepsy.

On the day he went to the hospital for a week of testing to determine the nature and frequency of his situation, his little head was covered with so many electrodes and wires that he looked like something out of an old Frankenstein movie.  The plan was that he would spend five days all wired up to collect as much data from his brain as the doctors could get.  However, after just 36 hours, he had already experienced 170 seizures and given the hospital staff more than enough data to interpret.

In this last year Kolten has taught me as much about ministry to people as any one of my incredible seminary professors or any of a number of lay persons who have impacted my life.  Here are just a few of the things I have learned, and am still learning:

1. Ministry is about loving people, and loving people always limits your life.  That’s right.  Anything worth loving brings boundaries and limits to life.  I love being with my grandson.  But when I am with him it isn’t about what he can give to me, how he can enrich my life, or ways in which he can further my career.  No, its all about loving Kolten.  As I write this I am in the middle of several days alone with Kolten.  He is two years old.  I’m fifty years old.  I’m tired.  And its a good tired.  I’m always watching him, even more so than the average two year old.  He takes a lot of medicine.  He falls down a lot.  He gets frustrated with dropping his toys.  It limits my life – a lot!  There are things I don’t do, there are places I don’t go.  It has helped me to ponder:  how committed am I to loving the people of my congregation?  Am I committed enough to do everything necessary to watch out for them and ensure their spiritual growth?  Are their selfish places in my heart that prevent me from being the best minister I can for them?

2. Its all about grace.  Yes, I said all.  I’m not given to exaggeration.  Everything comes down to grace, and grace trumps everything.  On the day back at the hospital when the data was collected and interpreted, an incredible illumination happened.  When Kolten has a seizure his entire brain lights up, except one small area – the area where his emotion center is.  I am told by doctors that if the emotion center of a child’s brain is constantly bombarded by seizures that that child will be always angry, will continually bite themselves, and will hit and abuse siblings and parents.  But, as you can see, Kolten is happy.  The interpretation of the data for me could not be any more clear:  in this arena of heartache and struggle with epilepsy, there is an incredible display of God’s grace in the midst of disease.  When it comes to ministry, things can never get so bad, people can never be so far from where you would like to see them that they are not displaying some form of God’s wonderful mercy and grace.  I have to look for it sometimes, but I know its there.  And Kolten has taught me to look for it in ways and in places in the Church I have been unable to see.

Well, Kolten is waking up from his nap.  Its time to go.  Its time to see grace in action.  Its time for me to love again.  Its time for God to keep working through the broken and flawed and fallen world to show forth the riches of his grace to us.