Tag: love

Thoughts on the Successful Christian Life

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            The entire Christian life can be summed up in three important words:  faith, hope, and love.  Both new believers in Jesus and veterans in the faith know from experience how difficult it can be to practice these in our daily life.  One reason for this difficulty, even when we want to please the Lord, is due to the confusion that occurs between our inner feelings and our outer actions.  Once we have an understanding of this confusion and how to evaluate our inner experience, then it is a whole lot easier to make daily decisions of faith, hope, and love – decisions that are vitally essential to the successful Christian life.
 
            The confusion starts with the creation and fall of humanity.  In the beginning God created humans as persons with our relationship to Him as central to daily life (Genesis 1:26; 2:16-25).  What is more, God created us with the capacity to receive His revelation through our ability to think and reason (Ephesians 4:24; Colossians 3:10).  Before disobedience entered the world, in the original state before the fall, all human functions were under complete control with an inner experience of unity and harmony with one another and God (Genesis 1:31; 2:7, 16-25).  It is critical for us to recognize the distinction between our being persons and the functions that we do (Romans 1:21-32; 6:16-22; 1 Corinthians 9:27; Ephesians 4:21-32).
 
            If we do not grasp how cataclysmic the fall of humanity was, we are going to have big struggles with living the Christian life.  With Adam and Eve’s original disobedience to God, the authority for life was transferred from God to ourselves so that our sinful bent is to call our own shots without God.  The source of authority was also transferred from our ability to think and reason to our emotions so that our feelings rule how we think and act.  As church leaders, if we do not understand this dynamic we will be forever frustrated with people because they do irrational things.  We are flabbergasted that parishioners do not simply take what we teach them and go and do it.  If it were that simple there would be no place for the Holy Spirit!
 
            There is more.  In the fall, we lost control of our capacity to function well.  We are all now vulnerable to manipulation from our inherited sinful natures, from the surrounding culture, from sinful people, and, of course, from Satan (Ephesians 2:2-3; Galatians 5:16-21).  As a result, our inner consciences have become confused.  We are not always certain of right and wrong.  We misunderstand what life is really supposed to be all about.  We become obsessed with feeling comfortable and secure and pursue false gods.  And those false gods disappoint us and leave us with a lack of fulfillment in life.
 
            But the good news is that through the redeeming work of Jesus Christ, and a new birth, the bondage of sin was broken in our lives are we were legally reinstated in a relationship with God where He is central in our daily life and the final authority.  In this new relationship we can again receive truth through the Holy Spirit and the Scriptures.  We regain control of our functions.  However, unless we learn the Scriptures and growin a daily walk with Jesus, the practical experience of this relationship with all its freedom, joy, assurance,  power, and fruitfulness may be greatly limited (Romans 7:14-25; 1 Corinthians 3:1-4).
 
            Even though we may have been redeemed by Jesus Christ and have believed in Him, it is still possible to regress to giving our functions and our emotions a place of authority in our daily life.  This is why Christians can experience conflict, doubt, fear, anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and confusion.
 
            To live correctly means to grow in the experience and application of what it means to have Jesus Christ at the center of our lives.  We must, therefore, make daily decisions of faith, hope, and love based in who we are in Christ and recognizes His authority over us.  The following seven suggestions may be helpful:
 
1.      Recognize that you are a person with the ability to function in faith, hope, and love as God’s beloved child in Christ (2 Corinthians 7:1; Romans 8:14-17).
 
2.      Recognize the difference between yourself and your functions.  Evil thoughts and emotions do not make you evil.  What you do with your feelings is what is vital.  (Check out how Jesus handled this in Matthew 4:1-11).
 
3.      Recognize that you can take charge of your functions and your life (Galatians 5:22-23).
 
4.      Recognize that the key in all of this is your use of the will in living in harmony with revealed biblical truth.  In other words, you really can make choices of faith, hope, and love that seem to contradict your feelings (Romans 4:17-21; Psalm 56:3; Psalm 43:5-11).
 
5.      Recognize the absolute necessity of rejecting whatever is contradictory to the Bible – in your thinking, emotions, and bodily desires.  All non-biblical patterns of action must be broken in Jesus’ name (Ephesians 4:22; Colossians 3:5-9; Titus 2:11-12).
 
6.      Recognize the absolute necessity of choosing to respond to God and His Word by daily obedience.  Learn to think and act on the basis of truth and in spite of how you think, feel, or desire (Acts 27:25).
 
7.      Recognize that practicing the truth will result in freedom, a re-patterning of thinking and functions, as well as the fruit of the Spirit (John 8:32; Titus 2:11-14; Philippians 2:12-16).
 

 

Part of the reason the church exists is to provide a supportive community of fellow redeemed people who worship and love Jesus together.  Just showing up at a church building without sharing our collective learning of the Scriptures and daily struggles of faith, hope, and love will inevitably result in a spiritual immaturity over the long haul.  Rather, seek to become part of a small group or bible study which will help to reinforce godly decisions and spiritual growth.  Talk about your shared experience of worship and the preaching of the Word.  In doing so, God is glorified and the church is strengthened.  

Love and Obedience

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry Blog1 Comment
 
 
Throughout this week, as I reflected on the lectionary text of Scripture from John 14:15-21, my thoughts kept coming back to my late brother-in-law, Todd Dawson.  In the Fall of 1992, Todd was on his deathbed in a small sterile hospital room at the University of Iowa, his body ravaged by AIDS.  At the time, I was pastoring a small Michigan congregation.  My parents came and stayed with our girls as my wife and I went to be with Todd since we were told he did not have much time left.  As it turned out we were in Iowa City for a week, spending our days at the hospital and only leaving his room to sleep for the night.  It was my habit during those days to rise about 5am, make my way to Todd’s room where we would spend some quiet unhindered time with each other for a few hours before other family members arrived.  Todd was deathly ill and could barely communicate anything above a whisper.  But those hours with him were incredible times of spiritual bonding and true Christian friendship.  To think that only a year before Todd and I had a strained, difficult, and awkward relationship as he was about as far from God as anyone could be and very much a person who had given up on the church.  Yet, here I was with him; we were now devoted brothers to one another.  Through a series of circumstances that can only be ascribed as God’s gracious hand, Todd had given his life fully to Jesus Christ just six months before his hospital stay (that conversion is a lengthy story for another time).
 
            In that week I watched in the background as day after day, cousin after cousin, and relative after relative came into Todd’s room to see him for the last time.  The majority of those cousins were much like Todd before giving his life to Jesus – having made a profession of faith as children they had long since outgrown their belief and lived for the most part as they wanted.  With each and every person, as frail as Todd was, he would grab a hold of the relative, pull them close and say into their ear:  “Look at me!  I am dying.  Is this how you want to end up?”  And then he would say this to each and every one:  “If you are really a Christian and love Jesus, obey him and live your life for him.”
 
            Love and obedience – they go together in Scripture like a hand in a glove.  Chapters 13-17 of the Gospel of John are our Lord’s final words to his followers before his crucifixion – this is quite literally Jesus’ deathbed message to those he loved.  In other words, these are the words that Jesus did not want his disciples to forget.  Those disciples were distressed and troubled over the reality that Jesus would not be with them, and they needed some words of both comfort and focus in order to live effectively with encouragement in the days and years ahead.
 
            The job of obedience is so importantly huge that Jesus did not ascend to heaven and leave us like orphans wondering where our next spiritual meal is coming from.  Instead of leaving us to fend for ourselves, Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit in order to help us have the attitudes we are supposed to have, and live the way we are supposed to live as commanded by Jesus.
 
            Jesus has given us another “Counselor” to be with us forever.  The term “Counselor” here is translated in various ways in different versions of the New Testament.  The reason for this is because the Greek term “Paraclete” is a rich word that is hard to encompass with just one English word.  So, we get terms in other versions like “Advocate,” “Comforter,” and “Helper.”  They are all accurate words to describe the Holy Spirit.  Yet, I think the best term to really portray who the Holy Spirit is for God’s people is the term, “True Friend.” 
 
            A true friend is the kind of person who you can call in the middle of the night and they will answer and listen.  A true friend is the kind of person you can contact and they will drop everything to come and be with you in a time of need.  A true friend is the kind of person that will say hard things to you in love so that you can be a better person and have a better relationship with them.  A true friend is there for you and maintains a committed and consistent relationship with you.  And, a true friend is simply a person you enjoy and are deeply thankful for having them in your life.  That is what the Holy Spirit is – He helps us when we need help; He encourages us when we are down; He comes immediately to our side when we are in need; and, He gives us good loving kick in the pants when we need it.  The Holy Spirit is our True Friend, our Best Friend in the world.  And that is the best way to understand Him as being described as “the Spirit of Truth.”  That is, the Holy Spirit is true to us and constantly speaks truth to us and leads us into truth.  It is the Spirit that will come alongside and apprentice us in the faith and guide us in grateful obedience to Jesus.
 
            Christianity, then, is neither just a warm-hearted love with obedience as optional, nor is it a life of drudgery in just gritting-out sheer obedience with no love behind it.  Instead, Christianity is both duty and delight – and they go together with perfect harmony.
 

 

            On June 18, 1993, at 29 years of age, Todd Dawson went to be with his Lord.  Not in my lifetime have I personally seen such a complete turn-around of a person so far away from God to a man in whose every thought and word reflected the Beatitudes, the Great Commandment, and the Great Commission.  And never have I had such a relationship that was totally changed from one of distance and animosity to a relationship that could be characterized as “true friend.”  Todd lived through his deathbed experience in the Fall of 1992 by the gracious hand of God who was not quite finished with him yet.  What Todd’s Christian life displayed to me more than anyone I have known is that loving assurance and trust in Jesus leads to a radical no-holds-barred obedience that is grateful and joyous despite the most awful of circumstances.  And because of his love for God he has seen Jesus.  I look forward to seeing Jesus with him someday.

Experiencing Grace… Again

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
It may be that, at some point in your life, you were deeply touched by a profound encounter with Jesus Christ.  You found peace, love, and joy.  Your mind and heart was swept up in the awe and wonder of God.  Perhaps you were deeply moved for a few hours, days, or weeks.  And then, eventually, you returned to a more normal routine of daily existence.  Over time you drifted from your spiritual experience and got caught up in the demands of career and family.  What happened next is that you began to treat Jesus like some old friend from another town whom you dearly loved in years past but have just lost track of.  Of course, it was unintentional.  You simply allowed circumstances to separate the relationship.  Preoccupation with something else took over.  Now, you often find yourself with this low level irritation, frustrated with others and unable to love as you ought.  You have become what the late author Brennan Manning called a “Christian agnostic” – people who do not deny Jesus, but just ignore him.
 
            If your days are trivial and hectic; if the clock determines what you do; if you are numb to the news and headlines around you; if you are all jangled and jittered by life’s circumstances; if phones and computers and gadgets rule your day; if there is little room for responding to humanity humanely; if you have settled into a comfortable piety and a well-fed virtue; if you have grown complacent and lead a practical life; then you are in need of being touched again by the grace and love of God in Christ by treating Jesus as if he were your very best friend as well as the awesome Son of God.
 
            We are all still here walking on this earth because none of our failures and lack of faith have proved terminal.  We are alive today because of God’s radical grace.  The forgiveness of God is a gratuitous liberation from guilt and regret.  It is an extreme amnesty.  Through looking in the mirror and seeing personal sinfulness we amazingly end up encountering the merciful love of the redeeming God.  The grace of God says to us, “Hush, child, I don’t need to know where you’ve been or what you’ve been up to; just let me love you.”  When we have experienced that kind of love, we are then in a position to love one another deeply from the heart.  It is a new life of love, the kind of love that comes from God – an unconditional love that is permanent and will never go away – it is imperishable (1 Peter 1:17-23).
 
            What this all means for us as God’s people is that we will not just show love when we are assured that we will be loved in return; we will not just wait for others to show love to us first; we will not expect to reach some higher level of knowledge or spirituality in order to be gracious and loving; we will simply love with the kind of love that has been given to us by Jesus. 
 
As God’s born again people, we love with a gracious, sacrificial, vulnerable, and desperate kind of love.  It is the kind of love that is like the intensive care waiting room in a hospital.  I have spent hours with people in such waiting rooms.  In the intensive care waiting room we are strangers, but there is a loving vulnerability to being together.  I have sat waiting with anguished people and listened to urgent questions: Will my husband make it? Will my child walk again even she lives? How do you live without your companion of thirty years?  The hospital waiting room is different from any other place in the world. And the people who wait are different. They can’t do enough for each other. No one is rude. The distinctions of race and class melt away. Each person pulls for everyone else.  Vanity and pretense vanish. No one is embarrassed about crying or asking tough questions.  In that moment their whole world is focused on the doctor’s next report. Everyone intuitively knows that loving someone else is what life is all about.  By God’s amazing grace we will all learn to live like that without having to learn it the hard way in a place of intense anxiety and suffering.
 

 

            There is always someone who needs God’s love as much or more than we do.  Christ’s resurrection is not some flash-in-a-pan – it has staying power – it is real and permanent.  And it is our hope of living a new life of gracious unconditional love.  Scores of people today look for love in all the wrong places.  As followers of Jesus, let’s show them the source of true love:  Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Jesus has come to you and shown you the full extent of his love through the cross.  Jesus chose to enter this broken world and limp through life with you.  Jesus actually expects more failure from you than you expect from yourself.  And he gives grace.  So, all of our failures to love as we ought can be laid before Jesus because there is grace that covers it all – a deep love that forgives, redeems, and makes new.  Amen.

Showing Brotherly Love

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
We are to show brotherly love toward each other in the church and honor one another above ourselves (Romans 12:16).  That means that we do not play favorites.  We are to affirm everyone’s inherent worth and dignity in the church.  We do this because God does not show favoritism, but loves each and every believer.  God demonstrated it by the sending of the Son, Jesus, to handle once for all through the cross the divisions and pride of people who exalt themselves above others.  The early church father, Origen, the bishop of Alexandria, said:  “It happens that we hate things we ought not to, just as we love things we ought not to.  We are ordered to love our brothers, not to hate them.  If you think that someone is ungodly, remember that Christ died for the ungodly.  And if you think that because your brother is a sinner you do not have to love him, remember that Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners.  And if he is righteous, then he is to be loved because God loves the righteous.”
 
            Showing familial love toward each other and honoring one another means that we treat each other as if we had been born of the same mother.  To keep a devoted affectionate spirit means that we would neither purposely insult another nor be deeply hurt if someone insulted us.  Sometimes we are too sensitive, and need not take things said and done so personally.  When offended we are not to return insult and offense (Romans 12:17).  Nor are we to hold it inside and nurse a grudge, only to withdraw then run away when things don’t go our way.  We are, instead, to honor the other person by going out of our way to work out an issue. 
 
In our society today, like no other society before us, we rely on paid professionals to take care of problems and issues that arise between us.  In our country right now we have 77,000 clinical psychologists, 192,000 clinical social workers, 105,000 mental health counselors, 50,000 marriage and family therapists, 17,000 nurse psychotherapists, 30,000 life coaches—and hundreds of thousands of nonclinical social workers and substance abuse counselors as well. Ross Douthat, in his book Bad Religion points out that “Most of these professionals spend their days helping people cope with everyday life problems, not true mental illness.” He concludes that “under our very noses a revolution has occurred in the personal dimension of life, such that millions of Americans must now pay professionals to listen to their everyday life problems.”
 
            This does not mean we should avoid therapists and counselors (I myself have been greatly benefited by such professionals and I think we ought to avail ourselves of their services).  However, there are many situations and problems and issues that can be resolved by a healthy church dynamic of loving one another with a family love that listens to and cares for each other.  We are to be real and honest enough with each other in the church to allow others to care for us.  There is nothing to be ashamed about in sharing what is going on in our lives with each other.
 
            Pastor Eugene Peterson has said that “being a church member is a vocation, a way of life. It means participation in an intricate web of hospitality, living at the intersection of human need and God’s grace, inhabiting a community where men and women who don’t fit are welcomed, where neglected children are noticed, where the stories of Jesus are told, and people who have no stories find that they do have stories, stories that are part of the Jesus story. Being a church member places us at a heavily trafficked intersection between heaven and earth.”  In other words, we are to practice our given privilege and responsibility as the priesthood of believers, occupying a place between heaven and earth where others can come and find life.
 
            Having affection for one another in brotherly love and honoring one another above ourselves means that we will be persistent in our service and patient in our efforts.  It means we will share our lives and practice hospitality.  One pastor had this story to tell about a couple in his church (not their real names):  John and Julie were happily anticipating the birth of their first child, a son. They had already decided to name him Paul. But when Paul was born, there was a big problem: Paul was born without eyes. John and Julie would later discover that their son had other serious issues, including severe autism and a growth hormone deficiency.  Two months after Paul’s birth, as John was looking at his son hooked up to tubes and sensors and surrounded by medical professionals, he quietly told God, “God, you are strong, that’s true, and you are wicked. You are mean. Do it to me—not to this boy. What did he ever do to you?” Shortly after that prayer, John and Julie quit going to church.  But one couple from the church refused to give up on them. Karl and Kathy never pressured John and Julie about spiritual issues. Instead, they would often stop by and leave simple gifts, like a loaf of fresh bread or a basket of soap and shampoo for Julie. John said that it was like Karl and Kathy were saying, “I notice you. I see you. I know you’re hurting and I love you.”  Eventually John and Julie accepted a dinner invitation from Karl and Kathy. During dinner John told Karl, “You can believe whatever you want. I don’t care. I have evidence that God is cruel.” Karl softly and simply replied, “I love you, John. I have regard for you, and I love your boy.”  Karl and Kathy’s four children also displayed unconditional love for their son. John described it this way:
 
‘They’d throw [my son] up in the air and make him laugh and do funny bird sounds and—and that was confounding, because most people, most adults couldn’t do that. And so I would have this extraordinary expression of love and affection at the dinner table here, and I would turn to my left—and there would be at least one of these children playing with my boy like he was a real boy. I wasn’t even sure he was a real boy at times.’
 
Based on this family’s quiet, persistent love, John and Julie finally returned to the Lord and to their local church. And when they returned Karl and Kathy stayed by their side, making sure their son made it into the nursery. John would later say, “They persisted. That was a big deal that they persisted with us.”
 
            A Christian congregation is a compassionate congregation, devoted and committed to one another.  That means when someone shares something with you that is difficult and personal, you are to respond.  No response (no affect) is just as damaging as saying the wrong thing.  If we work at keeping our spiritual fervor and being joyful in hope, then we will have a compassionate response to people.  You can never go wrong with these three caregiving basics:  1) listen well (don’t give unsolicited advice); 2) show respect by allowing others to share their grief and tell their story (rather than tell them how they should or shouldn’t feel); and, 3) pray for the person right then and there.
 
            In addition to those three caregiving basics, you can add the following practical ways to show you are devoted to another in brotherly love:  thoughtful gifts (i.e. grocery or restaurant coupons); words that help (i.e. “I truly care”, “I appreciate you”, “Count on me”, “It must hurt”); special services (i.e. offer to babysit or do some chores); and, outings together (i.e. go to a baseball game together).
 

 

            So, may you express your devotion and commitment to Christ’s church through words and acts of compassion, kindness, and love that reflect the love of God.