Walk in the Way of Love (Ephesians 5:1-6)

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. (New International Version)

You are loved. There may not be a lot of things I know, and much of life might be a mystery with few answers, yet the one unshakable truth I have absolutely no doubt about is that you and I are loved by a good and loving God.

Humanity is loved and is therefore meant to love one another as the ultimate rule and guide of life.

Just as God loves, so we are to do the same. We are to mimic divine love in our daily lives. The healthiest of relationships are characterized by a continual dynamic of giving love and receiving love.

Whenever love fails to be the basic rule of life, people are exposed to the gravity of God’s wrath – which exists as the extension of God’s love, in order to put a stop to unloving words and actions in the world.

Unfortunately, as a hospital chaplain and church pastor, I daily see the sad effects of individuals who have experienced a paucity of love and, so, have taken on a false self to try and find love in all the wrong places – with damaging consequences.

Three inappropriate unloving ways of acting are mentioned in today’s New Testament lesson:

  • Sexual immorality is the illegitimate attempt to get the legitimate need for erotic love met without any strings attached. It is a misguided belief that one-night stands and clandestine trysts will protect against being too committed to another and getting hurt.
  • Impurity is any other illicit, illegal, or improper kind of behavior toward others which tries to do the same thing as immorality: Seeking to meet legitimate needs in an illegitimate way – to turn a trick for love, trying to avoid emotional, spiritual, or even physical pain.
  • Greed is an insatiable pursuit of addictive behavior meant to numb or stuff all the unwanted emotions which reside deep in the soul because of engaging in the immoral or impure actions.

Three inappropriate unloving words of speaking are mentioned:

  • Obscenity is filthy speech which is a cover for the agonizing unmet needs of love deep within the human heart. Obscene words are nothing more than verbal sexual immorality. They are a twisted attempt at trying to give and get loving words in an illicit manner.
  • Foolish talk, much like impurity, is any other illicit or improper words crafted to manipulate or cajole another. It is the hustle for love. The original Greek word means literally “to talk like a moron,” that is, a person who lacks sound judgment.
  • Coarse joking is crude and addictive speech, much like greed, envy, and coveting, which verbally trolls for love without unveiling any real feelings.

The antidote to all these baseless actions and distasteful words is to realize the true self, created by God, through receiving the love of God and of others with thanksgiving. Within genuine loving relationships, people can express their legitimate needs to each other and satisfy one another. Yet, with the false self, there is secrecy, hiding, and massive amounts of shame.

Love opens us to all that is good and beautiful. Love also opens us to the possibility of devastating hurt and loss. It is when we try to obtain the good and beautiful, while trying to build walls of protection against potential pain, that we get in trouble. The sinister tools we must use to try and get that impossible job done are manipulation and control with both verbal and physical immorality.

There is no true and authentic love apart from openness and vulnerability. Cheap imitations of love will only lead to hopeless despair.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis

The way of love is the way of Christ. Imitating his example of a holy life, compassionate service, helpful speech, and healing actions – with a humble heart of gratitude – is to be our guide, rule, and direction in life. It is to realize our true selves and nudge the world just a bit closer back to Eden.

O Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ your Son our God, give us the love which never ceases so that our hearts will be enlightened and always burning with holy passion for the common good of all.

O Christ, our loving Savior, set our souls aflame so that they may shine brightly with the warmth and glow of unquenchable divine love, and lessen the darkness of the world. Lord Jesus, we pray, give us the light of your love so that we might always see you, desire you, look on you in love, and long after you.

Blessed Holy Spirit, send the fire of your love and empower us for loving service so that we may emulate and follow the example of our loving Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Broken and Poured Out (Matthew 26:6-13)

Jesus was in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper. While he was there, a woman came to him. She had an alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. She poured the perfume on Jesus’ head while he was eating.

The followers saw the woman do this and were upset at her. They said, “Why waste that perfume? It could be sold for a lot of money, and the money could be given to those who are poor.”

But Jesus knew what happened. He said, “Why are you bothering this woman? She did a very good thing for me. You will always have the poor with you. But you will not always have me. This woman poured perfume on my body. She did this to prepare me for burial after I die. The Good News will be told to people all over the world. And I can assure you that everywhere the Good News is told, the story of what this woman did will also be told, and people will remember her.” (Easy-to-Read Version)

It seems that much of the world’s default response to events right in front of their eyes is to be judgmental, binary, and negative – as if everything is a simple sum of right and wrong, good and bad – and all adjudicated by our perceptions and perspectives on it.

The disciples reflexively moralized the actions of the woman and her jar of expensive perfume. What a waste, they believed. They thought they knew better and could do better.

But there was more going on in today’s Gospel lesson than what meets the eye. In the Apostle John’s account, the woman in the story is identified as Mary, a woman with a sordid background who had her life transformed through meeting Jesus. (John 12:1-11)

Near the end of Christ’s life, as he was about to enter Jerusalem and be arrested, tried, tortured, and killed, this woman, Mary, is aware of what is happening when others are not, even the disciples of Jesus. Her own brokenness cracked open to her the true reality of life.

The surface event itself is a touching and tender moment in history. This woman, whom everyone knew was a damaged person, took a high-end perfume and broke the entire thing open. She then proceeded to anoint Christ’s feet with it. You can imagine the aroma which filled the entire house with expensive perfume for all to smell. 

The woman, Mary, was affirmed by Jesus for seeing the situation as a possibility and opportunity of loving her Lord. Mary alone had the vision amongst all the disciples, and the accompanying action, to enter through the door of risk in order to connect intimately and lovingly with Jesus.

Mary’s love, radiating outward for all to see, reflected the genuine love of God for the world – a love so great that Jesus would soon experience death and burial because of that love for humanity.

The disciples were grumping and cursing about the right way to do things; whereas Jesus blessed the woman with no reference whatsoever to morality or ethics. Mary had no concern for playing the numbers game and counting money, but instead focused on the ultimate value before her.

Giving what she had to Jesus, Mary demonstrated the path of true discipleship. She helps open our eyes to the realities which are right in front of us:

  • The broken jar of perfume shows us her brokenness and our need to be broken. (Matthew 5:3-4)
  • An extraordinary and extravagant amount of perfume was used, picturing her overflowing love for Jesus. (John 20:1-18)
  • The perfume was poured on the head of Jesus, and she herself used her hair as the application (according to John); hair is a rich cultural symbol for submission and respect. (1 Corinthians 11:14)
  • The perfume directs us to the death of Jesus. (John 19:38-42)
  • The perfume highlights for us the aroma of Christ to the world. (2 Corinthians 2:15-17)
  • There is more to the disciples’ response than mere words about perfume; the Apostle John specifically names Judas as questioning this action – the one who is not actually concerned for the poor. (Matthew 26:15)
  • The woman and the disciples (specifically, Judas and Mary) serve as spiritual contrasts: Mary opens herself to the sweet aroma of Christ; Judas just plain stinks.
  • The perfume presents a powerful picture of the upcoming death of Christ, for those with eyes to see; he was broken and poured out for our salvation. (Luke 23:26-27:12)

Christianity was never meant to be a surface religion which only runs skin deep. The follower of Christ is meant to be transformed, inside and out, so that there is genuine healing, spiritual wellness, and authentic concern for the poor and needy. 

Keeping up appearances is what the Judas’s of this world do. However, the Mary’s among us dramatically point to Jesus with their tears, their humility, their openness, and their love.

In this contemporary environment of fragmented human ecology, our first step toward wholeness and integrity begins with a posture of giving everything we have – body, soul, and spirit – to the Lord Jesus. In receiving the love of God, we can then freely give that love to a world locked in the shackles of tunnel vision, judgmentalism, and incessant moralizing.

To take the risk of breaking ourselves open and becoming vulnerable, we find love. In finding love, there we see intimacy. And where there is intimacy, there is the relational connection which transforms the dark and the negative to possibility and light.

Loving Lord Jesus, my Savior, and my friend, you have gone before us and pioneered deliverance from an empty way of life and into a life of grace and gratitude. May I, and all of your followers, emulate the path of Mary and realize the true freedom which comes from emptying oneself out for you. Amen.

Hold It Loosely (Exodus 1:1-7)

When Jacob went to Egypt, his son Joseph was already there. So Jacob took his eleven other sons and their families. They were: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Benjamin, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. Altogether, Jacob had 70 children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who went with him.

After Joseph, his brothers, and everyone else in that generation had died, the people of Israel became so numerous that the whole region of Goshen was full of them. (Contemporary English Version)

Exodus is the second book of the Bible, and the second of five books known as the “Pentateuch” by Christians, and the “Torah” by Jews. The first book, Genesis, ended with the story of Joseph – who was one of the 12 patriarchs. God established a covenant with Abraham, the father of Judaism, and promised him land and descendants – even though he did not have a son. God miraculously gave Abraham and Sarah a biological son, Isaac, who grew up to be the father of Jacob, or Israel, Joseph’s father.

The stories in Genesis surrounding Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph were filled with wonderings of whether God’s promise would ever survive, or not. Yet, it did. Joseph, in the ultimate reversal of fortunes, went from the lowest person in Egypt to it’s highest official. Through Joseph, the brothers and their families ended up relocating to Egypt because of a severe famine.

Present-day land of Goshen, Egypt

As time moved on, Joseph, his brothers, and all that generation died. In contrast to the extended family of Jacob, 70 of them, who initially went to Egypt, the opening of of Exodus relays an exponential growth in numbers of Israelites.

God was faithfully and tirelessly preserving the covenant and the promise for Israel. When the people went to Egypt, God assured them they need not be afraid. The Lord will make them a great nation, will be with them, and shall lead them back out again. (Genesis 46:1-4)

The opening of Exodus not only connects us with events in the latter part of Genesis, but also hearkens back to it’s very beginning, when God spoke to the first human couple. The Lord gave them a five-fold blessing, consisting of commands to 1) be fruitful 2) multiply 3) fill the earth 4) subdue it, and 5) have dominion over it. (Genesis 1:28)

Following the Flood, God blessed Noah, repeating the commands to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth (Genesis 9:1). Later, God spoke to Abraham, promisingto make him fruitful (Genesis 17:5-9). Moving into Exodus, we see a fulfillment of the commands and the promise taking shape, stating that the descendants of Israel were fruitful and multiplying, so that the land was filled with them.

It was this very blessing of progeny, and the fertile increase of descendants, which sets up the entire book of Exodus. The great and growing numbers of Israelites became a source of concern and fear amongst the Egyptians. It wasn’t long before the Jews were seen as another source of slave labor.

Sometimes, we must bear in mind and remember that great blessing also has an underbelly of great blight. Only God and relationships last forever; everything else is temporary, including our earthly blessings.

Therefore, it is wise to hold all things loosely, with open hands, and not with clenched fists that believes possessing things in this moment will be permanent. The following are some things to remember:

Remember who is in control

When things are going well, it may create the illusion that I am in charge of the blessing. But, in reality, it was given to you, and it can be taken away, as well.

The only thing you can control are your thoughts, feelings, emotions, choices, actions and the story you are telling yourself about what happened in the past, is happening now, and will happen tomorrow.

We all have our personal invisible backpacks to carry. That backpack is ours, and nobody else’s. Others have their own burdens to carry, which are individual to them. They aren’t yours to carry. Their stories aren’t yours to tell.

God is the Sovereign of the universe, and controls all things. That is God’s burden to carry. Not yours. Carrying the world on your shoulders isn’t your job. So, hold loosely whatever happens on this earth, whether for good or ill. 

Remember that life is both planning and improvisation

We have an agenda, make our plans, and put things in place. Yet, in the execution of doing it, we have to move with whatever circumstances and conditions arise – with whatever life throws our way – and then adjust our expectations.

Remember it’s both in planning and in improvising. The Israelites laid plans to go to Egypt, went there, and then had to deal with changing conditions once they were there. All planning and no improvising is unrealistic; and all improvisation with no plan is flying by the seat of your pants and living in a dream world which doesn’t exist.

What’s more, it might be your plan, or your group’s plan, but it’s not everybody’s plan. They have the freedom to say, “No thank you.” So, be careful to not marry yourself to a particular outcome. Release the urge to cling or obsess about certain expectations. Hold your plans loosely, and plan to improvise.

Remember to cooperate with God

In reality, there is a divine/human cooperative which exists on the earth. Ideally, we are to work together, me doing my part, and God handling the rest. And the both of us constantly must be in dialogue with each other.

When we align with this truth, and participate with God and integrate this cooperative into daily life, then we begin to relax, breathe, move with confidence, and speak with purpose. Head, heart, and gut are no longer disparate parts within me, but work together in a harmonious sync with the Lord.

If this is a challenge for you, set aside some time and be in nature. Look around you and observe all the life thriving right in front of you. Connecting with what is alive connects us to the universal Love which exists everywhere. And that Love can help us and heal us – if we will but let it.

I can hold things loosely because I know the internal pressure of “getting it right” isn’t mine to carry. I can cooperate with God, relax, do my best, and trust.

Blessings are wonderful and abound everywhere. Yet, adversity, acrimony, and even abuse still lurk about in this old fallen world. So, may you learn to hold all things loosely, and live as you know you can, and ought. Amen.

Dealing with Hate (Genesis 37:5-11)

One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more than ever. “Listen to this dream,” he said. “We were out in the field, tying up bundles of grain. Suddenly my bundle stood up, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before mine!”

His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dreams and the way he talked about them.

Soon Joseph had another dream, and again he told his brothers about it. “Listen, I have had another dream,” he said. “The sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed low before me!”

This time he told the dream to his father as well as to his brothers, but his father scolded him. “What kind of dream is that?” he asked. “Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow to the ground before you?” But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father wondered what the dreams meant. (New Living Translation)

We need to talk about hate, and it’s wicked stepsisters jealousy and disrespect.

In the ancient world, the oldest son was usually the one favored by parents. The eldest child would typically grow up to lead the family and inherit the largest share of the family resources. Joseph and Benjamin were two sons born to Jacob and Jacob’s favored wife, Rachel (Genesis 30:22-24). They were the youngest of Jacob’s twelve sons.

Jacob loved Joseph more than any other of his children (Genesis 37:3). To make things even more complicated, Jacob made his affection for the seventeen-year-old Joseph very public by giving Joseph a special long multi-colored robe. Not surprisingly, the other brothers hated him. 

“Joseph’s Dreams” by Susan Govatos

From the brothers’ perspective, Joseph added insult to injury by sharing a dream of his, implying that all of them would one day bow down to him. Dreams were significant in the ancient world; they were understood to be one way the divine realm could communicate with humans. But all this only made Joseph’s brothers hate him more than they already did.

Unfortunately, as the story unfolds further into Genesis, Joseph’s brothers take their sibling rivalry to a diabolical level. And it’s all fueled by their hatred and jealousy.

We all can relate to feelings of hatred and jealousy toward another. They can overwhelm us. So, what do we do when these big emotions come upon us?

  1. Consider your thoughts. If you find that you’ve been engaging in an all-or-nothing thought or a generalization, consider what a more balanced thought might be. Instead of saying, “He’s a total jerk,” consider instead, “I don’t like what he did to me” as an alternative. This approach typically makes the difference between health and sickness. A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (Proverbs 14:30, NLT)
  2. Pause for a moment and be curious about whether what you’re telling yourself about the other person or group is accurate. Crowds came from the villages around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those possessed by evil spirits, and they were all healed. The high priest and his officials, who were Sadducees, were filled with jealousy. They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail. (Acts 5:15-18, NLT)
  3. Lead with empathy and compassion if you feel hatred toward a person or group. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Compassion is engaging in an act of kindness. If you come upon your enemy’s ox or donkey that has strayed away, take it back to its owner. If you see that the donkey of someone who hates you has collapsed under its load, do not walk by. Instead, stop and help. (Exodus 23:4-5, NLT) “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:27-28, NLT)
  4. Talk to God instead of bottling up your feelings. Many people believe that ignoring their emotions will make them disappear, but in reality, it’s quite the opposite. Rather than going away, unaddressed emotions build up and intensify over time. Praying to the Lord and crying out to God are therapeutic. Rescue me from the mud; don’t let me sink any deeper! Save me from those who hate me, and pull me from these deep waters. (Psalm 69:14, NLT)
  5. Receive God’s love and kindness. We cannot give that which we have not first received. Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:3-5, NLT)

If we spend a disproportionate amount of time hating someone in our heart, have difficulty focusing on other things because of jealousy, or consider disrespecting another to the point of violence, then we need help; we cannot handle this alone.

Seeking help to resolve hatred doesn’t mean that there’s mental illness going on. Everyone experiences hatred at some point in their lives. Allowing God and others to help is a rational, responsible, and courageous act.

Almighty God, from whom all thoughts of truth and peace proceed: kindle, we pray, in the hearts of all, the true love of peace and guide us with your pure and peaceable wisdom, so that your kingdom may go forward on this earth, filled with the knowledge of your love; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.