Tag: jacob

Family Drama (Genesis 29:15-28)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob works to gain Rachel’s hand, 5th century mosaic, Basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore, Rome

Laban said to him [Jacob] “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.”

Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.”

So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant.

When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. (New International Version)

There’s no drama quite like family drama. Love and hate, unity and inequality, privileged and powerless, gender and patriarchy, altruism and selfishness, all combine for a strange brew we call “family.” It seems you can’t live with them, or without them.

In a love story for the ages, the lonely Jacob meets the lovely Rachel. It was a divine appointment, and quite literally, a match made in heaven. (Genesis 29:1-14)

Although the romance appears to lead to a happy and better days, it is anything but. The family dynamics are at play, and it leads to plenty of dysfunctional stuff. Just as Jacob the deceiver successfully wrangled a blessing away from his brother for himself, Rachel’s father Laban did his own bit of deception.

Having promised Rachel to Jacob, the elder daughter Leah replaces her sister and is found in the marriage bed in the morning after the wedding. Oy! It was Laban’s doing. He had Jacob over a barrel.

The whole situation ended up creating an unhealthy competition between the two sisters for the affection of their husband. So much for living happily ever after.

A lot of this story exposes the gap between the ancient biblical world and our own contemporary cultural context. The patriarchal and tribal society within the book of Genesis assumes that marriage is first and foremost an alliance between men involving the exchange of women. This is anything but a commitment between individuals intending to share their lives together. Laban and Jacob work out the marriage price of seven years of labor without any consultation of the bride(s)-to-be.

What’s more, polygamy seems a given. We get no objections to multiple women being married to one man. And this is typically how Old Testament narratives work – they give us the story, without moral comment, and let that story speak for itself about the ethics involved. The consequences to the decisions and actions are meant to demonstrate the morality or immorality of it all.

There remains, however, a tender love story inside all the drama. Despite all the deceit and masculine posturing for position, Jacob was madly in love with Rachel and would do anything for her – including working fourteen years in unjust conditions.

As in most family affairs, all of this is terribly complicated. Jacob’s singular love for Rachel, and Laban’s finagling, strands the older sister Leah in a loveless marriage. Even with God’s enablement of giving Leah many children, the tragedy of the family drama continued. Rachel envied her elder sister’s fertility, as she herself desperately tried to conceive. It’s all a quite convoluted way to realizing the blessing of God to Abraham’s descendants.

The casual introduction of servant women in this narrative raises all sorts of issues concerning social class, slave and domestic labor, and reproductive rights – not to mention such realities as sexual trafficking and abuse with which we still wrestle in the twenty-first century.

Despite the distance between the ancient world and our own, we have a lot in common with people of the past. We are far from perfect. Families are messy and often broken. We hurt each other intentionally and unintentionally. We act in our own best interest and against the greater good of others. We forget to ask those with less power about decisions that impact their lives.

To look in on this family reality show in Genesis is to look straight into human brokenness. And yet, through all of Jacob’s family drama, God’s purposes were advanced. Jacob had been promised he would have a multitude of descendants, and it was through the unloved Leah and her servant Zilpah that eight of the twelve tribes of Israel trace their descent.

Even the deceitfulness of Laban and Jacob cannot stand in the way of God’s purposes. Human sin may delay the realization of God’s promises, but our human foibles shall never overrule the sovereignty and providence of God’s good plans for humanity.

God of compassion, whose Son Jesus Christ, the child of Mary, shared the life of a home in Nazareth, and on the cross drew the whole human family to himself: Have mercy on us all, especially on our families of origin and all the various family situations we find ourselves within.

Strengthen us in our daily living, so that in joy and in sorrow we may know the power of your presence to bind together and to heal, through Jesus Christ our Lord, the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

A Divine Appointment (Genesis 29:1-14)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob and Rachel at the well, by Friedrich Wilhelm Müller (Kirchditmold 1801–1889)

Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the sheep. Then they would return the stone to its place over the mouth of the well.

Jacob asked the shepherds, “My brothers, where are you from?”

“We’re from Harran,” they replied.

He said to them, “Do you know Laban, Nahor’s grandson?”

“Yes, we know him,” they answered.

Then Jacob asked them, “Is he well?”

“Yes, he is,” they said, “and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep.”

“Look,” he said, “the sun is still high; it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. Water the sheep and take them back to pasture.”

“We can’t,” they replied, “until all the flocks are gathered and the stone has been rolled away from the mouth of the well. Then we will water the sheep.”

While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd. When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He had told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father.

As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he hurried to meet him. He embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his home, and there Jacob told him all these things. Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.” (New International Version)

Jacob meets Rachel at the well, by Paolo Fiammingo, c.1585

Jacob was a homebody. Unlike his twin brother Esau, who loved the outdoors and was often away hunting, Jacob preferred to hang around home with his mother – which is probably why Rebekah preferred him over his brother. It’s also why the two of them succeeded in a plan to deceive Isaac and steal the family blessing from Esau.

In Esau’s bitterness over not being blessed by his father, he began laying plans of his own: to kill his brother Jacob in revenge. This came to the attention of Rebekah, who then warned Jacob to flee to her family of origin in Paddan-Aram.

The boy who was attached to his mother and stayed at home, was now a man on the run, in need of a new life. Jacob was alone. One can only imagine the fear and apprehension, the grief and loneliness, of being on his own in a strange place. But God was with him. And the Lord graciously assured Jacob of the divine presence and promises.

Since God was with Jacob and was going to accomplish divine purposes through him, the Lord set up a divine appointment.

Upon arriving at a well, Jacob discovers some shepherds who know his uncle. And then, along comes Rachel with a flock of sheep. God’s providential guidance is evident in leading both Jacob and Rachel to this place and for this time.

Jacob’s mother, Rebekah, was the brother of Laban and the father of Rachel. In the lives of both Rebekah and her son Jacob, Laban ran out to greet and be involved in the divine appointments. (Genesis 24) The narratives differ, however, in that Abraham’s servant had wealth to share in bringing Isaac and Rebekah together; yet Jacob showed up without two pennies to rub together.

And whereas, on both occasions a future bride comes to a well, Rebekah and Rachel differ greatly in their betrothal times. Rebekah’s marriage was quickly arranged; Rachel’s marriage is uncertain and everything is nebulous on how things will shake out with Jacob.

The divine appointment has happened. God’s protection, presence, and guidance are with Jacob. Yet, at this point in the narrative, everything seems up in the air. Will Jacob marry Rachel? Are there going to be numerous descendants? How in the world is Jacob going to return to the land which was promised?

Though this initial foray into the unknown has had a divine stamp on it, Jacob will soon discover that there are many obstacles to negotiate before the promises of God are fulfilled.

And that is the way of us all. Sometimes things come easy and effortless. At other times, it’s a hard slog. In the scope of a life, there are extended seasons of tedious and mundane work – punctuated with times of amazement, even miracle, letting us know there is a God still watching.

You never quite know what’s around the corner of your life – whether good or bad. Yet, the real issue is trust.

The thing about divine appointments is that God is the sovereign ruler of the universe – which means that everything is in the Lord’s hands. All of life, and all events, are providentially bent for divine purposes. Both good and trouble are appointed.

If we believe the Lord is good, right, and just – all the time and that there is never a time when God is bad or capricious – then we are able to accept all circumstances as being from the hand of God. We will trust, even though we don’t know what’s coming next.

The Apostle Paul had it right by saying that “every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:28, MSG)

What would your life look like by adopting this perspective God and all events you encounter?

Gracious God, you alone know what my real needs are. You love me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are hidden from me. I am afraid to ask for either a cross or consolation, so I wait on you; my heart is open to you. Visit me and help me for the sake of your great mercy. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up, according to your good will. I put all my trust in you. Amen.

Communicate with Clarity and Care (Genesis 35:1-4)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob burying the false gods under the oak by Shechem, by Sébastien Bourdon (1616-1671)

Then God said to Jacob, “Go to Bethel and live there. Make an altar there. I am the God who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.”

So Jacob said to his family and those who were with him, “Get rid of the foreign gods which you have, wash yourselves until you are ritually clean, and change your clothes. Then let’s go to Bethel. I will make an altar there to God, who answered me when I was troubled and who has been with me wherever I’ve gone.” So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods that they had in their possession as well as the earrings that they had on. Jacob buried these things under the oak tree near Shechem. (God’s Word Translation)

Christianity has existed for 2,000 years; Judaism for 4,000 years or more. That’s a long time. On the one hand, this is a tremendous legacy of faith, grounded in several millennia of solid religious tradition. And on the other hand, something existing for so long is bound to accumulate some barnacles that get encrusted on the faith.

And if those barnacles are there for too long, it becomes assumed that they’re just part of the ship of faith. But they’re not; they need to be removed so we can see the real thing and move through life unencumbered and not dragged by extraneous stuff.

The familiar, over time, is taken for granted. And when that happens, we lose sight of what is most important, of what is most needed.

God helped Jacob – the son of Isaac, the son of Abraham – to reconnect with a seminal experience from earlier in his life. That experience was a vison of God, and an assurance that God was with Jacob. He was not alone.

But, years later, after accumulating two wives, twelve sons, and many flocks of sheep and other animals, it was time to move and make a home and an altar elsewhere. Instead of taking the Lord for granted, and forgetting the difficulties of the past, God intervened and called the whole crew to go and live in another place.

The communication from God brought Jacob to a spiritual place of realizing what had happened over the years; slowly and perhaps imperceptibly, the barnacles of idolatry had become encrusted amongst his family. And they were obstacles which needed to be jettisoned before they could move on.

Jacob needed to hear from God. Jacob’s family needed to hear from him. And that communication had to be a helpful way of scraping the barnacles off from decades of misplaced living.

Our world today is marked by unfeeling meanness to strangers, a profound lack of empathy, respect, and basic human kindness toward one another. Individuals, groups, communities, and entire nations don’t know how to talk to each other in a way that is helpful and life-giving.

We need a process which helps us have a way of being with others that is compassionate. It is imperative that we have communication that guides us in both expressing ourselves and listening to others. And that process must focus on what we are observing, feeling, and needing.

It is essential that humanity creates deeper personal relationships and maintains them. If not, we will be overcome by the barnacles of suspicion, hate, distrust of others, as well as distance from God.

Unless we are with each other in helpful ways, we will devolve into judgmental and critical speech directed toward others or even ourselves. Violent words are the main obstacle to having compassion on others.

Comparisons and classifications of people, denial of responsibility for words and behaviors, and making demands, leads to estranged relationships. Instead, we can do better. We can be with one another and talk to each other by communicating observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Observation

  • Observe, rather than evaluate. Whenever we observe something, and then quickly evaluate it, the other person will tend to hear criticism and resist what we are saying.
  • Be specific, not general. It’s helpful to make a specific observation instead of a general one. For example, God was specific about what Jacob was to do. And Jacob was quite specific about the situation of idolatry and what to do about it before the family could move to Bethel.

Feeling

  • Acknowledge and express your emotion. Clearly and specifically identify and name your emotions because this is the way we connect more easily with others. Jacob told his family of feeling troubled in the past and that God helped him deal with it.
  • Be vulnerable. Expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts. The old adage is true: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Need

  • What do you need? Take responsibility for your feelings. Connect your feeling with your need. Jacob was devoted to God because his emotions were tethered with how God had met his needs throughout his life.
  • Others do not cause our feelings, and they are not responsible for our emotions. Jacob’s family did exactly what Jacob told them to do – and did not buck him or resist him – mainly because he let them know how he was feeling, and why he was telling them to rid themselves of idols and move on with him to Bethel.
  • Listen to yourself. Judgments of others are projections of our own unmet needs; and conversely, being kind to ourselves, listening to our thoughts, and paying attention to how we carry stress in our bodies, allows us to be helpful to others and present to them in whatever they are going through.
  • We are not responsible for other people’s feelings. We can never meet our own needs by trying to make others feel guilt or shame.

Request

  • Ask for what you need and want. We honor ourselves by making requests in clear, positive, and concrete language of what we really need. The clearer we are about what we want, the more likely it is that we’ll get it.
  • The message we send is not always the message which is received by another. Be clear about the response you want so that there is no confusion about what we truly need.

The objective of communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way. Rather, it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy that will eventually fulfill everyone’s needs.

There is a need to express honestly and clearly our observations, feelings, needs, and requests, as well as receive another’s communication with focused attention and empathy.

So then, how we talk to and about God, and how we talk to ourselves, becomes a template for how we talk to others. A lack of clear communication is a surefire way of allowing the barnacles of displeasure and disappointment to attach to our souls.

However, clear communication is life-giving and even lifesaving. It’s worth putting significant effort into it.

Blessed Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you created us with the gift of communication. May we use this gift to foster love, understanding, and unity amongst ourselves and with you.

Guide our hearts to speak words of kindness and encouragement. May our tongues be instruments of love, grace and compassion to those around us.

Open our ears, so that we may truly listen and understand the needs and desires of our fellow humanity. Grant us the patience to hear their stories and the wisdom to respond with love and empathy.

Enlighten our minds to be clear and thoughtful in our affect and speech. As we share our thoughts and ideas, may we be ever mindful of your presence, seeking your holy and good will in all we say and do.

Fill our conversations with honesty and vulnerability. May we find the strength and courage to speak our truth while always remaining respectful and considerate of the feelings of others.

Bind us together in unity and love through our shared communication. May our words build bridges and forge bonds that reflect your divine love and mercy. Amen.

Take the Long View (Genesis 49:1-2, 8-13, 21-26)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob blesses his sons on his deathbed by Yoram Raanan

Jacob called his sons together and said:

My sons, I am Jacob,
    your father Israel.
Come, gather around,
    as I tell your future….

Judah, you will be praised
    by your brothers;
they will bow down to you,
    as you defeat your enemies.
My son, you are a lion
    ready to eat your victim!
You are terribly fierce;
    no one will bother you.
You will have power and rule
until nations obey you
    and come bringing gifts.
You will tie your donkey
    to a choice grapevine
and wash your clothes
    in wine from those grapes.
Your eyes are darker than wine,
    your teeth whiter than milk.

Zebulun, you will settle
    along the seashore
and provide safe harbors
    as far north as Sidon….

Naphtali, you are a wild deer
    with lovely fawns.

Joseph, you are a fruitful vine
growing near a stream
    and climbing a wall.
Enemies attacked with arrows,
    refusing to show mercy.
But you stood your ground,
    swiftly shooting back
with the help of Jacob’s God,
    the All-Powerful One—
his name is the Shepherd,
    Israel’s mighty rock.
25 Your help came from the God
your father worshiped,
    from God All-Powerful.
God will bless you with rain
    and streams from the earth;
he will bless you
    with many descendants.
My son, the blessings I give
are better than the promise
    of ancient mountains
    or eternal hills.
Joseph, I pray these blessings
    will come to you,
because you are the leader
    of your brothers. (Contemporary English Version)

Where does confidence come from?

The theme of confidence works its way through the patriarch Jacob’s deathbed prophecies and blessings – a resolute conviction in the promises of God – that the Lord will accomplish exactly what was promised.

Jacob expressed the hope and sure belief that God would bring the Israelites out of Egypt and into the land of Canaan as their inheritance – and, ultimately to the City of God, the eternal inheritance.

The Christian will find much in the blessing of Judah concerning the promises surrounding the coming of Christ. Mentioning the implements of “staff” and “scepter” are symbols of authority. And the reference to a donkey communicated a ruler was coming, as donkeys were the preferred mounts of royalty in ancient times.

What’s more, the washing of garments in wine, and eyes darker than wine, are allusions to the future blessing and abundance that will occur through the tribe of Judah. In fact, the first miracle of Jesus was turning water into wine – a deliberate attempt by the Apostle John to connect Jesus with Old Testament messianic prophecies of abundance and blessing. (John 2:1-12)

It’s important to adopt a long view of life. We must keep in mind that it took eighteen centuries for Jacob’s prophecy of Judah to occur. This long view is what gives us our confidence in life and provides the patience and perseverance we need for the here and now.

Seeing the big picture of God’s work in this world is necessary, because if we do not, we will likely become discouraged with the circumstances we face right now.

The reason Jacob makes it into the great Hall of Faith in the New Testament book of Hebrews is not because he was squeaky clean and perfect in how he lived his life; it was because he took the long view, the big picture, and saw that God was going to fulfill divine promises to Israel:

By an act of faith, Jacob on his deathbed blessed each of Joseph’s sons in turn, blessing them with God’s blessing, not his own—as he bowed worshipfully upon his staff. (Hebrews 11:21, MSG)

Furthermore, when we string the following three verses together across both Old and New Testaments of the Bible, we see the long view of God’s purposes:

It is true that you planned to do something bad to me. But really, God was planning good things. God’s plan was to use me to save the lives of many people. And that is what happened. (Genesis 50:20, ERV)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)       

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28, NKJV)

In the Christian faith tradition, all of God’s promises come together and are fulfilled in the person and work of Jesus.

Christ is our salvation, our inheritance, and our hope. To give our lives to following Jesus in complete trust of faith is both our challenge and our privilege.

May we live by faith, and not by fear. And may we have patience and persevere through the most challenging of situations because we have adopted the long view of understanding the God is bringing all divine promises to fruition, all in good time.

Our confidence comes from the Lord.

Be present, O merciful God, and protect us through anxious times, so that we who are wearied by the changes of this life may rest in your eternal steadiness. Keep watch, dear God, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.