Tag: integrity

How To Respond In a Conflict (1 Samuel 19:1-7)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David and Jonathan, by He Qi

Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David and warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I’ll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out.”

Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The Lord won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?”

Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be put to death.”

So Jonathan called David and told him the whole conversation. He brought him to Saul, and David was with Saul as before. (New International Version)

King Saul was a two-faced, fickle, and disintegrated soul who continually had divided loyalties between Israel and himself. Unfortunately, himself usually won out.

In today’s story, Saul was not so far gone into his self-centeredness that he couldn’t hear the voice of reason. Yet, that voice never lasted too long for him.

As for David, he was the runt of the family, the youngest of eight sons. The runt is always given the grunt work in the family. So, David spent a lot of time out with the sheep by himself, tending to their needs, and protecting them from predators. He eventually found himself in the court of King Saul and distinguished himself as an ideal soldier and leader in the Philistine wars with Israel.

Saul and David, by Rembrandt (1606-1669)

But all of David’s success only increased Saul’s jealousy. On several occasions, the paranoid Saul tried to kill David – who was faithful and did not deserve such treatment from the king.

Saul eventually abandoned all pretense and ordered his son Jonathan and the soldiers to put David to death. He went public with his attacks against David. Saul felt driven to desperate measures, feeling that his authority, popularity, and position were threatened.

This situation, of course, created a conflict of loyalties for Jonathan who wanted to honor his father and king, but who also loved David as himself (1 Samuel 18:1-3). Jonathan was that voice of reason, appealing to his father’s rational self, urging him not to go down such a dark path in killing a righteous person.

Jonathan let Saul know that it was in his best interest to let David live. He reminded Saul that David was the Lord’s instrument who had defeated Israel’s enemies and that Saul had rejoiced in his success. What’s more, Jonathan appealed to justice; David’s death would be totally unwarranted.

Saul would prove to be a guy who continually reneged on his promises with impunity. He was Exhibit A of the person with a divided mind who swayed back and forth in his decisions.

King Saul could not accept the fact that God was with David, and not with him. Saul’s initial jealousy came out in subtle plans to diminish David so that he himself would remain the popular one with power and control.

But, as biblical readers and listeners, we know where this sort of attitude is headed. God is concerned with a humble attitude and obedient actions – which David had, and Saul increasingly didn’t.

So, Saul began openly announcing plans for David’s demise. Although he would not be successful, trying again and again to do so, David’s life was turned upside-down.

David did nothing wrong. In fact, he did everything right and actually helped soothe Saul with harp music when he was not doing well. Even though David is exactly who the nation of Israel needed, and precisely the person Saul needed, he was the target of assassination.

Just because we may go about our work, and the way we live our life, with unassuming humility and quiet obedience, does not mean everything will be unicorns and butterflies. There always seems to be a jealous person lurking in the shadows planning for our downfall.

David and Jonathan, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

In such times, we are in solidarity with our Lord. And it is of great practical help whenever we have a person like Jonathan in our life who is willing to be a peacemaker.

Jonathan willingly stepped into the situation between his father Saul and his best friend David. Despite the family pressure, Jonathan urged Saul not to sin against an innocent man of integrity. David had risked his life for Israel and Saul’s kingdom.

Saul was persuaded, at least temporarily, to lift the death sentence and restore David to his rightful place in the court – all because of Jonathan’s efforts.

Notice that Jonathan did not exacerbate the situation by taking sides or using harsh language. In truth, we all need a friend who is willing to help us in difficult times, with careful and deft words which brings calm instead of chaos.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1, NIV

Conflict only escalates out of control without a non-anxious presence to diffuse things.

For David’s part, he wisely didn’t try to vindicate himself by responding to Saul’s anger with more anger. Instead, he trusted God and let the person who could make the difference, Jonathan, do so.

It is important whenever someone comes to us in order to vent about another person, or makes irrational pronouncements about what they’re going to do to them, to help the situation and not add fuel to the fire.

If we take some relational cues from Jonathan, we will seek to be calm and respond with sensitivity and gentleness to the nonsensical wrath of the person speaking offensive words.

What’s more, when being the target of someone’s verbal assault, we must be careful not to fight fire with fire. Let’s remember that our humble and gentle words put us in good company with the righteous throughout history who have responded with faith and patience to trouble.

O God, the source of all spiritual and emotional health: So fill my heart with faith in your love, that with calm expectancy I may make room for your power to possess me, and gracefully accept your presence to make all the difference in my hardship. Amen.

From the Overflow of the Heart, the Mouth Speaks (Luke 6:43-45)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Jesus said, “A healthy tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a poor tree bear good fruit. Every tree is known by the fruit it bears; you do not pick figs from thorn bushes or gather grapes from bramble bushes. A good person brings good out of the treasure of good things in his heart; a bad person brings bad out of his treasure of bad things. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Good News Translation)

I often find public confessions on television to be a rather disingenuous affair. Typically, celebrity apologies only take shape when one has been caught saying something and are called on the carpet.

Then, when the apology finally comes, it’s predictably odd and incongruent. The person says something to the tune of, “I’m sorry if I hurt anybody by what I said. Saying that really wasn’t me. I’m not really like that.”

Well, apparently you are! The offending words came out of your mouth, not somebody else’s. It is a lot easier, however, to see a problem in another and name it. To see and deal with our own stuff is different.

Just the other day, I made an off-the-cuff comment to a colleague. The person has an unusual first name (from my perspective) and so I blurted a quick pun of it in front of others when I greeted them. I thought nothing of it.

But later in the day, the person came to me privately. They gently let me know that my pun of their name was hurtful. My only saving grace was that I listened, didn’t go off on an explanation of why I said it, and offered a heartfelt apology with the promise to not use their name in that way again.

Jesus said that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The words we say out loud betray what is truly inside us. In truth, I said what I said to my colleague, because I find their name to be strange. What was actually inside me came out of my mouth. And I’m an introvert. I can’t even imagine what extroverts have to go through!

To illustrate his point, Jesus used the metaphor of a tree. If the roots, the trunk, and the branches are good and healthy, then you can be sure the tree will produce good healthy fruit. However, if the tree is diseased, or infested with insects and rotting from the inside out, then no one can expect anything other than bad fruit that is not fit to consume.

Good Tree and Bad Tree, by Bible Art

If the fruit is bad, the tree is bad. If the words are hateful, sarcastic, passive-aggressive, manipulative, conniving, racist, hurtful, ignorant, mean, unjust, foolish, and either subtly or overtly abusive, then the person has a dark heart and is need of redemption, not excuses.

Conversely, if the words are affirming, encouraging, loving, compassionate, gentle, caring, direct, helpful, peaceful, kind, giving hope and life, then there is a good heart behind it.

Yes, bad hearts can parrot good words. However, those words are not genuine but mere rote recitations to achieve some sort of personal agenda.

And, of course, good people will occasionally say dumb or hurtful words – as I did with my colleague. In such times, let it be a reminder that we all have some shadowy places within our hearts – and that we must depend on God’s grace to enlighten those dark spaces.

It is best to observe patterns rather than focus on isolated events where either good or bad words were said. A consistent pattern of invalidating another’s experiences or feelings; intimidating or threatening others; dismissing or discounting someone’s input; or being unnecessarily blunt, are all major red flags pointing to a severe heart issue.

Evil does exist in the world. And if we are not vigilant to its insidious role in the crafting of words, wickedness can easily smack us upside the head when we aren’t looking.

The heart cannot be concealed forever. Eventually, the virtuous person will be shown as such by the stream of speech which pours forth from their heart, as if it were living water for others to drink and enjoy. Their words reflect their good character.

The wicked person, however, cannot keep the bad words down. Those vile words sit in the soul, poisoning and making the person ill. Then, all of a sudden, the evil words come up and out with a great vomitous heave and spew impurity and unholiness all over the innocent. Their words betray their foolish and poor character.

Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. The wicked heart will not be able to speak ill of others with impunity forever. They will be called to account for their abusive words, whether overtly violent, or subtly undermining.

The righteous heart, however, shall experience divine pleasure and reward, as if the careful construction of helpful and building up words win first-prize at the great heavenly fair.

The good person loves and does not hate. They are so far from harming anyone that they even pray and wish well for their enemies. They pray for blessings on those who curse them. There is an honest striving to speak good words to everyone, regardless of who they are.

The upright heart thinks the best of everyone and holds nothing over someone else’s head. A good heart condemns no one, leaving all judgment to God alone. It is patient with the most exasperating of people, praying they might come to their senses and become spiritually healthy.

The righteous are able to use their speech to admonish their neighbor with care and affection. They freely forgive, happily give, liberally encourage, and use their tongue to speak words of life. Indeed, their speech is wise, humble, full of grace, and above all, loving.

If there is a problem with words, it will not do to simply change the speech. That’s because it is a heart issue. And the heart must be willing to change and be transformed by sheer mercy.

Fortunately, God is the expert on renovating dilapidated hearts and performing effective heart transplants.

Jesus is the gracious carpenter. God is the divine surgeon. The Holy Spirit is the energetic power source. They are ready for the work. Will you consent to let them in?

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit so that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

In Need of Integrity (John 7:19-24)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Pharisees, by German painter Karl Schmidt-Rottluff, 1912

It was Moses, wasn’t it, who gave you God’s Law? But none of you are living it. So why are you trying to kill me?”

The crowd said, “You’re crazy! Who’s trying to kill you? You’re demon-possessed.”

Jesus said, “I did one miraculous thing a few months ago, and you’re still standing around getting all upset, wondering what I’m up to. Moses prescribed circumcision—originally it came not from Moses but from his ancestors—and so you circumcise a man, dealing with one part of his body, even if it’s the Sabbath. You do this in order to preserve one item in the Law of Moses. So why are you upset with me because I made a man’s whole body well on the Sabbath? Don’t be hypercritical; use your head—and heart!—to discern what is right, to test what is authentically right.” (The Message)

One of my ardent desires for every person on planet earth, is that they will experience an integration of themselves – that they will know their true selves. And with this awareness, their head, heart, and gut will all be in alignment with each other. Every part of oneself will be acknowledged and work in harmony with the other parts.

I’m talking about wholeness. This is what produces peace, unity, harmony, joy, and strength of spirit. For me, this is the consummate Christian path of discipleship to walk. Jesus has gone before us to clear the way as the pioneer of our salvation. He makes it possible to realize wholeness. Christ has the ability to make us well and to live well. To know Jesus is to be whole.

People who are a bundle of disparate parts – with some of those parts suppressed and unacknowledged – are disturbed. They always seem to be upset with something because the parts of themselves are unable to communicate with each other. With them, there is no peace or wholeness. There is only a myopic view, usually coming from only using the head, only thinking.

But to have thoughts of God, to think about God’s law, and to police how God is thought of and how God’s law is implemented – without the heart or the gut involved – leads to fragmentation and disruption.

To only think, and withhold feelings and intuition, is to sin.

It’s impossible to know God and live God’s commands without involving your entire self. A head without a heart cannot affect humanity with the good that it so desperately needs.

A heart without a head cannot effectively steer the rudder into accomplishing sustained goodness.

And a head and a heart without a gut cannot sense the danger around the corner and loses its good plans and intentions.

Jesus was addressing religious leaders and a large chunk of fragmented people. Many of those persons were unable to discern who Christ actually is, because only the person of integrity and wholeness can do that. So, each one came at Jesus from their own limited place of disintegration. And none of them were able to truly see themselves as they actually are – blind to the reality that they were not keeping God’s law.

Christ and Pharisee, by Russian artist Ivan Filichev, 1993

A fragmented person’s perspective comes at things like this: “I’m obeying the law, although there are some laws I’m not really holding to.” Yet, Jesus understood that to break just one law makes us lawbreakers and in need of healing and wholeness.

Jesus healed a man on the Sabbath. The disintegrated person only saw Jesus working on the Sabbath, which in his head is a no-no. It requires work to heal someone. Therefore, it can wait until tomorrow. Thus, this Jesus fellow sinned against God and disobeyed God’s law. In fact, it only stands to reason that he is in league with a demon, the fragmented person reasons.

But that is to make a poor discernment of the situation. It is, however, only what the fragmented person can do. However, a wise understanding of the man’s healing by Jesus is to observe that Love has come among you – that Sabbath was made for humanity, not humanity for the Sabbath – and that this bringing of wholeness to a person, in restoring not only his health but his ability to connect with society, family, and community, is a knowable good thing. This is most certainly not what any sort of demon would do.

Perhaps one ought to test the spirits and make a good, right, and just discernment. Just maybe, Jesus is the one who can guide us to wholeness, goodness, and integrity. It could be that God is among us, and we didn’t even know it.

Constant criticism of others only deflects from paying attention to our own spirit; and always living in your head keeps you from experiencing the heartache of love.

Merely giving-in to the heart without engaging the head creates a caregiver who has no idea how to care for themselves; eventually they become bitter and gain a critical spirit that no one is caring for them as they care for others.

Blurting-out gut-reaction judgment at another may be truthful, but it will be taken as a severe and discouraging criticism because there was no thought or heart behind it.

There are a lot of upset people in this world. Yet, there are precious few persons with the wholeness to speak from the head, heart, and gut as a unified whole, bringing words and actions of life to others.

The persecuted person is one who has become wonderfully whole, namely because there are far too many fragmented people who view them as a threat, and see them as demonic. Fragmented folk believe they need to put the integrated person in their place, if not done away with altogether.

And that is exactly why Jesus was arrested, tortured, and killed. But fragmentation, disintegration, oppression, and sin do not have the last word. They are not the judge. There is resurrection, new life, and abundant joy because the grace of God in Christ always has the last word.

Christ’s Sermon on the Mount, by Argentine artist Jorge Cocco Santángelo

There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. That’s the way of the fragmented ones; they will find themselves cursed. However, the blessings of God’s rule and reign recognize and affirm the whole person. Jesus said:

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of competing or fighting. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom. (Matthew 5:3-10, MSG)

May you live into who you are, and avoid who you are not, to the glory of God. Amen.

Be Real, Not Fake (Titus 1:5-16)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year ALeave a comment

The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you. 

An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 

Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.” This saying is true.

Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good. (New International Version)

Everything in life needs some decency and order – including the church. The bulk of the Apostle Paul’s letter to Titus gives needed instructions about structuring the life of the church, along with some warnings about those who would attempt to disrupt that good order.

One of the most important aspects of church life and organization is to appoint competent persons with good character and sound doctrine to oversee and serve the congregation. The leaders of the church are to be mature, unselfish, concerned for the common good of all the parishioners, and able to handle Holy Scripture by strengthening the faithful and rebuking the faithless.

It takes solidly worthy leaders to counter people who are opposed to doing and believing things that are inconsistent with apostolic teaching. Paul had neither the tolerance nor the patience for rebellious folk who sought to deceive the faithful. So, he told Titus to silence, rebuke, and put a stop to such persons.

Orthodox icon of St. Titus the Apostle, the first Bishop of Crete

The rebellious persons, however, were not so easy to spot for many in the church – which is why Paul instructed Titus to deal with false teachers forcefully. They were not the real article, but came across as genuine.

Sometimes, you cannot tell a fake by the external appearance. In Christianity, and within the church, a person might give a good outward performance, but actually not be the real deal because they are full of bitterness and death on the inside with a heart far from God.

A sobering reality for devoted believers in God is that the church and Christianity can have people who are religious on the outside but not really Christ followers on the inside. Claiming to know God isn’t the same as actually knowing the Lord. It’s like putting perfume in a vase – it might smell like flowers but the flowers aren’t really there.  

The Apostle was pointed about how to handle those of the “circumcision group” because they were legalists who put heavy spiritual loads on people and were unwilling to help them carry those burdens. Paul, following the example of the Lord Jesus, was always laboring and challenging people into a genuine, real righteousness from the heart that would submit to God’s kingdom. 

And, much like Jesus before him, Paul kept having the Judaizers in the church undermining him, talking behind his back, and stirring up resentment against him. 

The rebellious people of the circumcision group were not helping believers know God better through active service, but only tried to talk a good line. Paul pointed them out to Titus because such persons were not strengthening the faith of others and enabling them to live a sound spiritual life.

The Judaizers did not practice what they preached – and even what they taught was neither gentle, nor had any grace. People need one another in the church to truly live for God; but if there are double standards, then heavy loads aren’t getting carried because some individuals think they are above helping, or think too little of themselves and believe God could not use them. 

In both cases the person declares, “Someone should do something!” Someone should give, someone should pray, someone should visit, someone should tell that person about Christ, someone should help. To which Paul (and Jesus) would say that someone is you.

We may believe we are genuine and think we are being helpful when we really are not. Whenever we plaster on fake smiles, only obey and serve when others are looking, and/or pretend like everything is just peachy keen when we are dying inside, then we are in the same category as the Judaizers. We have become in need of putting aside how we look to others and ask the God of grace to have mercy on us. 

It’s possible to be so obsessed about the right thing to say that we never say what is really on the inside because we think it isn’t spiritual enough and we fear looking bad. We then put up a spiritual façade, live into a false self, thereby and eventually becoming a false teacher.

The rebellious in the church are those who seek power, status, authority, and prestige. Respect and honor from others is everything to them, so they want the positions of prominence and insist on being recognized for whatever they say or do in the church.

But facades will not work for Christianity. The church is about integrity, mission, worship, and service – and not about acting with the spectator in mind, and seeking to elicit praise and respect from others. For such persons, it does not matter what’s on the inside as long as the outside looks good. 

Instead of being a liar (one whose outward actions and inner dispositions don’t match) and an evil brute (not acting with anyone else’s needs in mind or at heart) and a lazy glutton (always receiving but never giving) instead be a servant of others with a good character, a basic understanding of Holy Scripture, and a heart to know and love God. 

If there is a job that no one wants to do, I’ll do that job.

If there’s a lonely person, I’ll be with them.

If there’s a parking space up close, I’ll park in the back of the lot.

If there’s a need is someone’s life, I’ll meet that need.

If there’s a hardship someone has to endure, I’ll help carry that hardship.

If there’s a sacrifice to be made, I’ll make that sacrifice. Amen.