Learn a Lesson from Conflict (2 Samuel 10:13-19)

David Attacks the Ammonites, by Gustave Doré, 1866

Then Joab and the troops with him advanced to fight the Arameans, and they fled before him. When the Ammonites realized that the Arameans were fleeing, they fled before Abishai and went inside the city. So Joab returned from fighting the Ammonites and came to Jerusalem.

After the Arameans saw that they had been routed by Israel, they regrouped. Hadadezer had Arameans brought from beyond the Euphrates River; they went to Helam, with Shobak the commander of Hadadezer’s army leading them.

When David was told of this, he gathered all Israel, crossed the Jordan and went to Helam. The Arameans formed their battle lines to meet David and fought against him. But they fled before Israel, and David killed seven hundred of their charioteers and forty thousand of their foot soldiers. He also struck down Shobak the commander of their army, and he died there. When all the kings who were vassals of Hadadezer saw that they had been routed by Israel, they made peace with the Israelites and became subject to them.

So the Arameans were afraid to help the Ammonites anymore. (New International Version)

Outward Conflict with Ammon

You would think that showing basic human kindness to another would always end well… Yet, not always. And King David found that out, the hard way.

David, having become king of Judah and Israel, demonstrated that his reign would be characterized by extending the sort of mercy and kindness that is characteristic of God.

Whereas David’s kindness was most often accepted, when it came to King Hanun and the Ammonites, it was misunderstood and rejected. The Ammonites humiliated King David’s sent ambassadors.

The delegation wanted to express David’s condolences to Hanun in the event of his father’s death. Then, after the Ammonites saw that King David was upset about how his ambassadors were treated, they mobilized a mercenary force of Arameans with Hadadezer leading the charge.

Both the Ammonites and the Arameans underestimated the experience and skill of the Israelite army under their commander Joab. Even though Joab was outnumbered, he conceived of a strategy that evened the odds.

All of this conflict, with preparations for battle and an escalating war, came about because a king wanted to show kindness to another. Indeed, this can be a very messed-up world that we inhabit!

The result of it all is that the Ammonites and the Arameans were soundly defeated by a smaller, yet much stronger, army with King David at the head. The Arameans became subject to Israel, and the Ammonites were left slack-jawed, not knowing what hit them.

Inner Conflict with Oneself

So, here we have David, who like all of us, is a bundle of contradictions. On the one hand, King David had his heart set on showing kindness and reflecting the heart of God in his rule and reign. And on the other hand, David is a soldier and a man of blood, who does an awful lot of killing people in his lifetime.

King David is both a paragon of moral behavior, and an example of immoral living.

He did not lift a finger against his former king who was trying to kill him; and evidenced a tender spirit through musical skill and an ability to write the psalms and songs of Israel.

Statue of King David, Copenhagen, Denmark

Yet also, King David demonstrated for us some of the worst immorality, of which is clearly seen in the next few chapters of his story in the book of 2 Samuel. Throughout David’s adult life, he took thousands of human lives in battle.

He came to fame by beheading Goliath; made his mark in Israel by killing Philistines for King Saul; survived in the wilderness while Saul was trying to kill him by killing Amalekites; and secured Israel’s borders through an enormous amount of killing.

I won’t do to simply say that the people David killed had it coming to them, or that he did all the things he did for the sake of the nation. That sort of reductionism smacks of mental laziness and purposeful ignorance.

Coming to Grips with Conflict

At the least, it seems to me that we must accept the biblical narratives as they are, and not as we want them to be, whenever there is difficulty in understanding a story.

We have the human condition in front of us every time we read a scriptural story. Either making it all good, or all bad, just won’t do – because all of us, like David, are a bundle of contradictions and paradoxes that often don’t make sense.

It turns out that, throughout Holy Scripture, we find stories of people who are no better and no worse than we ourselves. The ancient persons, like David, are those for whom a gracious God chose to use and work through – despite either their sinning or their saintliness.

We get a glimpse of how things were and how the Lord operated through the people of the time in their own political, social, economic, and religious contexts.

God comes to us, not merely from the outside by simply mandating commands and imposing control, but enters our lives on the inside, taking us as we are and graciously working with and within us to accomplish good and just purposes on this earth.

And, as it turns out, God uses whomever God wants to use, without doing some sort of divine screening interviews to find out who the most moral candidate is available for the job.

If you are looking for a bottom line in all of this mayhem, then I believe it is this: God loves us. God is with us. And God holds us – all of us, with our maddening combinations of kindness and kookiness – to establish a truly right and benevolent world characterized by humility, gentleness, mercy, purity, and peace.

It’s a rather long and messy process of bringing in such a way of life, but God is patient and will take the centuries and even the millennia needed to accomplish it.

It’s Not All About Human Conflict

Although we are a flawed and fallible people, we are nevertheless God’s people. At the end of it all, we discover that none of this was really a story about Ammonites or Israelites or David or Joab or anyone else; it is actually a story about God – because God is both the object and subject of every biblical narrative.

And what we discover about God is that there are divine initiatives happening all the time which are meant to help us and save us from ourselves. The Lord is sovereign over all creation, and brings salvation despite what we do or don’t do.

God’s kindness – shown and expressed through our own human kindness – will eventually and always win the day.

Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

How To Respond In a Conflict (1 Samuel 19:1-7)

David and Jonathan, by He Qi

Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David and warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I’ll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out.”

Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The Lord won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?”

Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be put to death.”

So Jonathan called David and told him the whole conversation. He brought him to Saul, and David was with Saul as before. (New International Version)

King Saul was a two-faced, fickle, and disintegrated soul who continually had divided loyalties between Israel and himself. Unfortunately, himself usually won out.

In today’s story, Saul was not so far gone into his self-centeredness that he couldn’t hear the voice of reason. Yet, that voice never lasted too long for him.

As for David, he was the runt of the family, the youngest of eight sons. The runt is always given the grunt work in the family. So, David spent a lot of time out with the sheep by himself, tending to their needs, and protecting them from predators. He eventually found himself in the court of King Saul and distinguished himself as an ideal soldier and leader in the Philistine wars with Israel.

Saul and David, by Rembrandt (1606-1669)

But all of David’s success only increased Saul’s jealousy. On several occasions, the paranoid Saul tried to kill David – who was faithful and did not deserve such treatment from the king.

Saul eventually abandoned all pretense and ordered his son Jonathan and the soldiers to put David to death. He went public with his attacks against David. Saul felt driven to desperate measures, feeling that his authority, popularity, and position were threatened.

This situation, of course, created a conflict of loyalties for Jonathan who wanted to honor his father and king, but who also loved David as himself (1 Samuel 18:1-3). Jonathan was that voice of reason, appealing to his father’s rational self, urging him not to go down such a dark path in killing a righteous person.

Jonathan let Saul know that it was in his best interest to let David live. He reminded Saul that David was the Lord’s instrument who had defeated Israel’s enemies and that Saul had rejoiced in his success. What’s more, Jonathan appealed to justice; David’s death would be totally unwarranted.

Saul would prove to be a guy who continually reneged on his promises with impunity. He was Exhibit A of the person with a divided mind who swayed back and forth in his decisions.

King Saul could not accept the fact that God was with David, and not with him. Saul’s initial jealousy came out in subtle plans to diminish David so that he himself would remain the popular one with power and control.

But, as biblical readers and listeners, we know where this sort of attitude is headed. God is concerned with a humble attitude and obedient actions – which David had, and Saul increasingly didn’t.

So, Saul began openly announcing plans for David’s demise. Although he would not be successful, trying again and again to do so, David’s life was turned upside-down.

David did nothing wrong. In fact, he did everything right and actually helped soothe Saul with harp music when he was not doing well. Even though David is exactly who the nation of Israel needed, and precisely the person Saul needed, he was the target of assassination.

Just because we may go about our work, and the way we live our life, with unassuming humility and quiet obedience, does not mean everything will be unicorns and butterflies. There always seems to be a jealous person lurking in the shadows planning for our downfall.

David and Jonathan, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

In such times, we are in solidarity with our Lord. And it is of great practical help whenever we have a person like Jonathan in our life who is willing to be a peacemaker.

Jonathan willingly stepped into the situation between his father Saul and his best friend David. Despite the family pressure, Jonathan urged Saul not to sin against an innocent man of integrity. David had risked his life for Israel and Saul’s kingdom.

Saul was persuaded, at least temporarily, to lift the death sentence and restore David to his rightful place in the court – all because of Jonathan’s efforts.

Notice that Jonathan did not exacerbate the situation by taking sides or using harsh language. In truth, we all need a friend who is willing to help us in difficult times, with careful and deft words which brings calm instead of chaos.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1, NIV

Conflict only escalates out of control without a non-anxious presence to diffuse things.

For David’s part, he wisely didn’t try to vindicate himself by responding to Saul’s anger with more anger. Instead, he trusted God and let the person who could make the difference, Jonathan, do so.

It is important whenever someone comes to us in order to vent about another person, or makes irrational pronouncements about what they’re going to do to them, to help the situation and not add fuel to the fire.

If we take some relational cues from Jonathan, we will seek to be calm and respond with sensitivity and gentleness to the nonsensical wrath of the person speaking offensive words.

What’s more, when being the target of someone’s verbal assault, we must be careful not to fight fire with fire. Let’s remember that our humble and gentle words put us in good company with the righteous throughout history who have responded with faith and patience to trouble.

O God, the source of all spiritual and emotional health: So fill my heart with faith in your love, that with calm expectancy I may make room for your power to possess me, and gracefully accept your presence to make all the difference in my hardship. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20-21 – Conflict and Peace

Pretty Place Chapel Blue Ridge Mountains
Pretty Place Chapel in the Blue Ridge Mountains

May the God of peace,
who brought back the great shepherd of the sheep,
our Lord Jesus,
from the dead by the blood of the eternal covenant,

        equip you with every good thing to do his will,
by developing in us what pleases him through Jesus Christ.
To him be the glory forever and always. Amen. (CEB)

These verses are the benediction, that is, the blessing given at the end of a long letter to a group of struggling Jewish Christians. In fact, things were so difficult for these believers that they were giving serious consideration to reneging on their commitment to Christ. So, the author of Hebrews sent them an exhortation and an encouragement to remain true and steadfast to the faith.

What is needed is not a shrinking back from faith but instead an enduring faith which is sustainable for the long haul of a person’s life.

The believers had both inner and outer conflict. They were experiencing hardship and persecution in the form of confiscation of their property and public insults. The Christians had started out well, facing such trouble with confidence through standing side-by-side with others who were suffering as well as holding on to their vibrant faith.

Yet, over time, their resolve began to break down. A slow drift occurred. Eventually, they started to retreat from the helping of others. They emotionally and spiritually inched their way to becoming despondent to the point of questioning whether all this Christianity stuff was worth it. The outer conflict worked its way inside their souls and damaged their spirits. By the time the writer of Hebrews comes along, a group of Christians are stuck in discouragement.

It’s one thing to deal with trouble and hardship on one day, even two. It’s quite another thing when that difficulty does not let up – when days turn into weeks, weeks into months, even months into years.

There are times when peace seems to have about as much chance of being realized as winning the lottery.

Yet, God is the God of peace, real lasting harmonious spiritually restful peace. It was achieved through the life and death of Jesus. The peace Jesus has brought is so much more than the absence of conflict. God’s peace is freedom from fear and anxiety. It is a settled confidence deep down inside that God will ultimately make good on all his promises and that things will not always be this way.

Until that day comes, God is not sitting in some divine Lazy-Boy recliner watching old reruns of the Angels playing baseball. Rather, God is active through carefully, deliberately, and, to our occasional consternation, slowly equipping us and developing us into spiritually fortified people who do the will of God and please Jesus in everything they do and say. Jesus is the Great Shepherd of the sheep who will not lead us astray but will settle us in green pastures.

The word translated “equip” is a rich word (Greek καταρτίσαι, pronounced “cot-ar-tids-ay”) which means to set something straight. Picture a bone which has been broken and needs to be reset and have time to heal. That is what God is doing in his people – repairing broken spirits. This divine healing is equipping believers for a lifetime of handling adversity with faith, confidence, and endurance. The process, frankly, hurts and requires patience before healing and health come.

If God can raise the dead, he can most certainly handle any earthly trouble we are going through.

God is in the transformation business. Extreme makeovers are his specialty. He uses hard circumstances, troubles, and torments of our lives and bends them into divine tools to form and shape his people to both survive and thrive in the world.

Complaining spirits, blaming and shaming others, and impatience borne of unrealistic expectations are the evidence of damaged emotions, wounded souls, and weak faith. This is the antithesis of God. He’s not overlooking humanity with a divine *sigh* in exasperation. That’s because he is the God of peace who is bringing all things to a conclusion in Christ. Jesus will come to judge the living and the dead. The Holy Spirit is now and very presently active to heal damaged emotions, repair wounded souls, and strengthen faith.

In those times when God seems absent and prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling are the times that God is establishing peace and expanding our capacity for faith and patience.

Benediction, blessing, and doxology come through the dark night of the soul and not by avoiding it.

Soli Deo Gloria. To God be the Glory.

Almighty God,
all thoughts of truth and peace
proceed from you.
Kindle in the hearts of all people
the true love of peace.
Guide with your pure and peaceable wisdom
those who take counsel
for the nations of the earth;
that in tranquility your kingdom
may go forward,
till the earth is filled
with the knowledge of your love;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

–From the Book of Common Order of the Church of Scotland, St. Andrew Press.

Click It Is Well with My Soul by TenTwoSix Music and arranged by David Wise.