Family Dynamics (Matthew 12:46-50)

En la Cena ecológica del Reino (At the Ecological Kingdom Dinner) by Spanish artist Cerezo Barredo

While Jesus was speaking to the crowds, his mother and brothers stood outside trying to speak with him.Someone said to him, “Look, your mother and brothers are outside wanting to speak with you.”

Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” He stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, “Look, here are my mother and my brothers. Whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven is my brother, sister, and mother.” (Common English Bible)

Jesus obviously did not get the cultural memo that blood is thicker than water.

When his own blood family were waiting outside for him, Jesus used the occasion to speak of what makes up a true follower of God. Christ boldly asserted that his true family is made up of people who do God’s will. By saying this, Jesus brought the point home that the kingdom of God turns on obedience.

Rather than merely confessing a belief, or appealing to a family heritage of faith, Jesus said that a genuine believer in God is one who listens to God’s words and then promptly obeys them. Therefore:

A Christian is defined by allegiance to Jesus, and not by having a certain bloodline. 

Identity determines activity. For example, if I identify myself primarily as…

  • a worker at my job, my activity will show it – I will spend long hours at my labor, and will do whatever it takes to please my boss and gain promotions.
  • an athlete, I will spend long hours honing my skills, and do whatever it takes to please the coach and to win.
  • a spouse and a parent, I will focus most of my attention on my family and seek to please them in all things. 

But if my identity is first and foremost as a Christian, I will seek to please Jesus. With my identity in Christ:

  • I will view my job as an opportunity to express the ethics of God’s kingdom, as a calling from God, and as a means for God to transform me for his glory.
  • I will view athletics as means to glorify God, and not as an end in and of itself but as a special gift for God to teach me about the importance of community and working together. 
  • I will view my kids as belonging to God and I will steward the trust of children given me by doing whatever it takes to teach and train them in the way of Jesus. I will thank God for my family and not confuse them with being God by idolizing them.

Jesus was inside a house, with his family on the outside. So, why were the family members of Jesus not inside the house sitting at his feet, taking the posture of a disciple?

The disciple Matthew wanted to communicate more than physical distance between Jesus and his physical family – being “outside” was meant to convey the posture of Christ’s family as spiritually distant, skeptical of him, and indecisive about who he was and what he was up to. The disciple Mark made this spiritual and emotional distance clear:

Jesus entered a house. A crowd gathered again so that it was impossible for him and his followers even to eat. When his family heard what was happening, they came to take control of him. They were saying, “He’s out of his mind!” (Mark 3:20-21, CEB)

Christ’s earthly family were not looking for Jesus to give them warm-fuzzies and have a big family hug. They were there to essentially say to him, “Cut it out, Jesus, because you’re acting like a nut-cake and embarrassing us all!”

Jesus was saying that identifying only with a biological family leads to only pleasing that family. However, identifying with Jesus leads to a radical form of following God that seeks to please him instead of submitting to family practices, mores, and beliefs which are inconsistent with the kingdom of God. 

Ethiopian Orthodox Church depiction of Christ and his disciples

For the Christian, the church is the family of God, and we are to act consistent with being in such a family.  We are to pursue God’s will, serve one another, and adopt outsiders into our family. The church is a family, not a restaurant. When we go to a restaurant, we either like the food and the service, or not. If the experience was unpleasant, we might complain to the waitress and may or may not come back. Try doing that with your mother and see where it gets you! 

As a biological family, we are committed to each other. There is no complaining about mom because of dad’s wrath. Instead, we are expected to clear our plates and put them in the dishwasher, to sweep the floor and clean the table, and to work together for the benefit of the entire family. In the same way, following Jesus means being committed to his family, the church.

Priority is to be given in doing God’s will, regardless of blood, because obedience to Christ identifies us as being in the family of God. Our actions and the way we live points to what we honestly believe and where our commitments truly lie. 

The first step of God’s desire for us is quality focused time in sitting at Christ’s feet and listening to him, because this is at the heart of all Christian discipleship. We can only do God’s will if we have clearly heard it; and we can only hear God’s will by taking the time to be at the feet of Jesus. 

Both listening and doing are necessary. Listening without engaging the world is a failure of mission; and doing without first listening leads to misguided acts and eventual burn-out. Allow Jesus to call the shots and let him instruct us so that we can live wisely and obediently. 

Jesus did not devalue blood relatives as irrelevant. Rather, the kingdom of God seeks to restore and redeem all things, including family. Both church and family are important. The relationships within each are to be nurtured.

The family of Jesus, the church, is important because Christ suffered and died for her. So, we are to be committed to the church, love the church, and serve the church because we are family. If we have a good grasp of this, we will make decisions based in what we believe God’s will is, instead of whether a relative will get upset, or not. 

We need to persistently pray for spiritually lost family members, and those whom we are estranged from. Most families have at least a few toxic persons in their orbit. Here is how we might pray for them:

  • That God will arrange divine appointments between them and others who love Jesus.
  • That God will draw them to the mercy of Christ.
  • That God will hinder the devil’s schemes against them.
  • That they will understand and respond to the good news of God’s grace.

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Dealing with Opposing Views (Romans 14:1-12)

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. (New International Version)

Within the church at Rome were Jewish believers who had come to faith in Christ from their background steeped in the Old Testament. They had a rich two-thousand year history of a covenant with God that included ritual food laws, the keeping of certain feast days, and observing a calendar of events, especially the Sabbath.

Also within the Roman church were Gentiles (non-Jewish people) having come to faith in Christ from a background of paganism. They had no history with the God of the Bible. There were no previous generations of faithful believers in God. They were first generation Christians and basked in their newfound freedom.

The Apostle Paul’s vision was for one church, unified together around Jesus. And this unity would need to be worked on. Jew and Gentile were very different from one another; and here they were in the same church together, not understanding each other. 

The Jewish believers were appalled at Gentile thinking and behavior. Even though the Jewish Christians had come to embrace Jesus, they did not abandon their two-thousand year history of being with God. They still held to their food laws and special days. The Jewish members believed the Gentiles should be like them; the Jews wanted the Gentiles to embrace the same ritualistic behavior that they had done for centuries.

But the Gentiles did not comply. So, the Jewish believers passed judgment and condemnation on them for not being sensitive to the things of God.

On the other hand, the Gentile believers felt no compulsion to have such rules and regulations concerning their Christian lives. They ate what they pleased and saw no need to hold to special days. They could not understand why the Jewish Christians were so stuck in their traditions. So the Gentiles looked down on the Jews as hopelessly misguided. This was a potentially explosive situation that Paul was deeply concerned about.

The Apostle Paul’s message was to accept the person whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters. Sounds like easy counsel to follow. But the problem was that the people did not distinguish between what is a non-negotiable matter and what was a disputable matter. 

The guiding principle is that Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. The non-negotiable matter is Jesus Christ, his person and work.  Jesus is our core belief. Nothing else is to be in the center except him.

Therefore, we are to celebrate our unity around Jesus, our center. Anything outside of that center is a “disputable matter” and not worthy of Christians condemning each other or looking down on one another.

The root problem of any church conflict is the de-throning of Jesus and setting up our particular views as the center of Christianity.

The church has struggled with this teaching for its long two-thousand year history. Every church I have served had their particular issues that they felt so strongly about that it crowded Jesus out of the center. 

In one church, education was the big issue. Some believed in Christian schools as the only way to educate their kids. Others felt that home-schooling was the way to go because of the culture. Yet others thought public education needed the light of Christians participating in it, and sent their kids to public schools. The problem was that each group sincerely believed they were right and everyone else was wrong.

In another church I served, there were hard feelings about the place of men and women in the church who had been divorced and remarried. In yet another church, the issue was about whether church members could drink alcohol or not. And yet another church’s issue dealt with how we dress and what our attire is at church. 

I still remember one lady in that church talking with a woman who had recently given her life to Christ out of a life of prostitution. The woman was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The church lady was giving her a lecture about how she should be “dressing up for Jesus.” As I heard this, I thought to myself, “Lady, I’m not sure you are going to like the woman’s idea of dressing up for Jesus….”

Whenever we want to place disputable matters on people’s “must-do” list, then there will be trouble. We will judge others who do not think as we think, and do as we do, because of the mistaken notion that our way is equal to the death and resurrection of Christ. If it isn’t done my way, the church will be lost.

We do not necessarily need to change our views on disputable matters; but we do need to change our attitude and our behavior toward those we disagree with.

Intolerance of others’ views and behaviors causes a lack of dialogue, to create special interest groups and cabals against others, to stereotype others, and to seek to get their way no matter what. Such intolerance moves church members from a concern for the Great Commission of Jesus to the Great Commode of Satan’s bathroom.

For the Apostle Paul, the issues that divide Christians are very important, not because he championed one over the other, but because the church’s identity was at stake. Paul was concerned for two questions:

  1. Will the church be, at its core, a community of redeemed persons by the grace of God who center all their lives around the person and work of Jesus?
  2. Or will the church be a community of opinionated individuals and groups all jockeying for position to have their way on how they believe things should go?

This is really a heart issue: humility versus pride, and gentleness versus stubbornness. You can tell what a person’s identity is by their “identity markers.”

For the Jewish Christians, Sabbath-keeping, circumcision, food laws, and holding to certain days on the calendar marked their identity as God’s people. Those issues were so important that if you took them away, there would be an identity crisis; the people felt totally lost without their traditions.

For Gentile Christians, their identity was built around being more free-thinking. So, if you take away their freedom and ability to choose, the Gentiles will go nuts and have an identity meltdown. 

Paul’s answer was for both Jew and Gentile to accept each other and build their unity around Jesus, period. They needed to be sensitive to one another and focus on their shared identity of Jesus as the center of the Christian life.

Both the church and the society need some civility. In a nation where we feel free to say whatever we want, we do. In doing so, we elevate self-expression and our opinions over self-control and the mission of the church.

We need some generous spaciousness which allows room for us to discuss issues and disputable matters in an atmosphere of generosity, hospitality, and acceptance, seeking to first listen and understand, before responding. 

The goal of the Christian is not to win an argument or have our way, but to uphold Jesus as Lord of everything and maintain our center in him. On that basis alone, we will be held accountable by God. So, let us live wisely and well, knowing and pursuing Jesus with heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Gracious God, it’s both settling and centering to focus on the assurance of your acceptance. You know everything about us, and despite our failures, fickleness, foolishness, and faithlessness, yet still we are fully and eternally accepted. As you have accepted us, help us to accept others. Grant us grace to love those whom we disagree with.

Merciful and mighty God, enlarge our hearts. Enable us to show kindness without compromising our convictions. Teach us the difference between essential and non-essential matters. Free us from the limitations of our individual perspectives, the prejudices of our heritage, the insecurities of our comfort zone, insincere niceness,and the need to be right. 

Blessed Holy Spirit, burn your holy Word indelibly into us so that we accept all things and everyone you give us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Rituals Are Important (Exodus 13:1-10)

The Passover Meal (Last Supper) by Jess Santos

The Lord spoke to Moses, “Set apart every firstborn male for me. Every firstborn male offspring among the Israelites is mine, whether human or animal.”

Then Moses said to the people, “Remember this day—the day when you left Egypt, the land of slavery. The Lord used his mighty hand to bring you out of there. Don’t eat anything made with yeast. Today, in the month of Abib, you are leaving Egypt. The Lord swore to your ancestors that he would give you the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Hivites, and Jebusites. When he brings you into that land flowing with milk and honey, you must observe this ceremony in this month.

“For seven days you must eat unleavened bread. The seventh day will be a pilgrimage festival in the Lord’s honor. Only unleavened bread should be eaten during these seven days. No sourdough or yeast should be seen anywhere in your territory. On that day tell your children, ‘We do this because of what the Lord did for us when we left Egypt.’ This festival will be like a mark on your hand or a reminder on your forehead that the teachings of the Lord are always to be a part of your conversation. Because the Lord used his mighty hand to bring you out of Egypt, you must follow these rules every year at this time. (God’s Word Translation)

Rituals are an important part of being human. They help us to observe significant events, specials seasons, and daily routines. Ritual activities are meaningful re-telling of stories for us and others. In other words, rituals activate memory, enabling us to remember what is of value.

Religious traditions are typically filled with rituals, in order to remind the faithful of what is significant about their faith. Unfortunately, there are some Christian traditions which have a negative view of ritual, believing it to be “vain repetition.”

The problem, however, is not with rituals themselves; the issue is with the one performing the ritual. If it is done with a disconnect between head and heart, then the ritual does not accomplish it’s intended goal of helping the community to remember and giving meaning in the present time.

“Ritual is not simply an attitude or intention, just as love is not simply a feeling. At its most basic, ritual is something that you do. A man can’t plow a field just by thinking about it; he must go out to the field and get to work. If he is fully present to the work and acts with mindfulness and loving attention – if he brings his whole self along – then even as he turns over the rich soil beneath the plow, he turns it over in his mind and heart, as well. The act of tilling the soil becomes an act of tilling the soul.”

Alison Leigh Lilly

No matter whether folks are religious, or not, all people engage in rituals. For example, here are some rituals many people do in order to remember, celebrate, and renew an old story:

  • Birthdays (remembering and re-telling the birth story)
  • Graduations (remembering and re-telling the story of school)
  • Marriages & Anniversaries (remembering and re-telling the courtship story)
  • National Holidays (remembering and re-telling the patriotic story)
  • Dinner and/or Bedtime (remembering and re-telling stories from the day)
  • Morning (remembering and re-telling my story of purpose and meaning)
  • Earth (remembering and re-telling the seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter)
  • Annual sojourns to special places such as vacations, sports stadiums, or reunions (remembering and re-telling the story of friendship and family).

The reasons people do such rituals are to

  • Re-enforce values
  • Have a sense of belonging
  • Mark time in a meaningful way
  • Form personal and healthy habits
  • Remind of us of who we are and what our purpose in this world is

Avoiding rituals can cause a lack of identity and purpose. Failing to observe rituals can also create loneliness, confusion, and emptiness.

“Rituals are those repeated actions done again and again in the interest of things like focus, grounding, tradition, cultural symbolism, predictable life rhythms, and feeling a part of something bigger than ourselves.”

Craig Kelley

The Lord gave divine instructions to the newly freed Israelites. And those commands involved instituting some ritual behavior, to be done year after year. God told them to observe a Passover ritual each year so that the story of Israel’s deliverance from Egyptian slavery would remain alive for the generations to come; and so that the event itself would have meaning for people in the present time.

Because Yahweh spared the firstborn of Israel’s children and livestock – and not the firstborn of Egypt – those same firstborn are to be given to God, in some sort of vicarious ransom. All the symbols of Passover are meant to be reminders of what the Lord had done for Israel.

The exodus event is to be actualized, made real for the generations today. By means of ritual, the relationship between God and the people is remembered and renewed for each new generation. Engaging in the ritual repeatedly helps press the story and it’s reality into both the mind and the heart.

And this is precisely what worship is supposed to do for the Christian. Ideally, a worship service is a re-enactment of Christ’s redemption for believers. Even more, it’s a dialogue between God and the people in which the Lord speaks and the worshipers respond.

One ritual which unites all Christians together is the Lord’s Table (communion, or the Lord’s Supper, or the Eucharist). Each Christian tradition has their particular views and theology surrounding it – yet it’s common to all. Observing the Table is a ritual which has been going on for two-thousand years; and which has it’s roots in the Passover and the original meal at the time of the exodus.

The Table is a time of remembrance, communion, and hope. We retell the story of Christ’s redemption and remember the Lord’s once for all sacrifice on the cross for the whole world. It is a unifying ritual, where believers commune together. And the Table expresses hope – that just as we eat and drink now, we will do so all together at the end of the age at the great supper of the Lamb.

Yes, rituals have meaning and it’s symbols are significant. They help us to express our shared humanity together.

May the love of Christ be active in your heart, be heard in your words, be seen in your actions and inform your choices today and every day. Amen.

Good News Is for Everyone (Isaiah 56:1, 6-8)

This is what the Lord says:

“Maintain justice
    and do what is right,
for my salvation is close at hand
    and my righteousness will soon be revealed….

And foreigners who bind themselves to the Lord
    to minister to him,
to love the name of the Lord,
    and to be his servants,
all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
    and who hold fast to my covenant—
these I will bring to my holy mountain
    and give them joy in my house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
    will be accepted on my altar;
for my house will be called
    a house of prayer for all nations.”
The Sovereign Lord declares—
    he who gathers the exiles of Israel:
“I will gather still others to them
    besides those already gathered.” (New International Version)

Issues of identity

Ever since the Jewish people existed – for the past 4,000 years – there have been other people and other nations who have conquered them, displaced them, and have even tried to annihilate them altogether, several times throughout history.

A seminal experience for ancient Israel was when God’s temple was destroyed and the people taken into exile in Babylon. Generations later, many faithful Jews returned to Jerusalem to rebuild and reform under Nehemiah and Ezra.

Undergoing defeat, occupation, and oppression can and will do a great deal of psychological, emotional, and spiritual harm. And when it happens repeatedly, it’s easy to understand how any group of people might wonder: “Are we still God’s people? Have so many years of being in other places made us different? Who are we right now?”

These are questions of identity. For many Jews, since God allowed them to be conquered, because they did not obey the covenant, then now is the time to double-down on following the rules and proving they are truly God’s chosen people. So much so, that some (not all) insisted that their identity can only be maintained by radically separating themselves from everyone and everything foreign that is not Jewish. 

We can understand how a vulnerable people who have been attacked and conquered would be suspicious about welcoming outsiders. In fact, any sort of hospitality could be seen as a betrayal of their own struggle, and a deviation from their sense of community, identity, and integrity. 

Diversity and inclusion isn’t warm and fuzzy

So, when God comes along and shares a plan of bringing foreigners to the holy mountain, it’s scandalous. The people don’t see this as a wonderful moment of everybody getting to together, singing kumbaya, and letting bygones be bygones. Nobody in Israel is saying, “Lord, please let us gather together with a bunch of foreigners, strangers, aliens, and gentiles!”

Quite the opposite. Instead, they start circling the wagons to survive and maintain and preserve their Jewish identity. Isaiah’s message challenged the people to their core. It was not a popular idea – even coming from God – of including the other. Such change was a threat.

Welcoming strangers can be upsetting

Whenever I walk through neighborhoods in major cities and see banners in yards that say, “All Are Welcome!” and churches that emblazon that message on their signage, I wonder if they really understand what they’re saying. There are many folks who expect welcoming the stranger to feel good, to be rewarding and connect us to one another. There may be romantic notions of connecting with others with idyllic visions of new people folding seamlessly into who we already are.

The reality is typically much different than that. We are surprised and disheartened when others don’t think or act like we do, and having them around feels awkward. They’re upsetting the status quo and making the group into something I don’t like. It might be something like your crazy uncle who shows up on holidays and makes everything weird. 

The thing we must face and contend with is this: Strangers, foreigners, immigrants, and anyone different from ourselves, often bring God’s own message to us, coming in amongst us to disrupt and transform. Strangers bring strange practices; foreigners bring foreign worldviews; and different people bring different practices and ideas we aren’t familiar with. But why in the world would we ever be surprised that strangers are strange!? 

What in God’s name is going on?

On God’s holy mountain, people are gathered around values, ethics, and obedience. Community and being together with the Lord is defined by faith, and not by simply signing off on a list of approved beliefs and doctrinal statements. God makes it clear that faithfulness, even of foreigners, will determine who is brought into the house of prayer for all people. Deliverance is offered to those who walk the walk and don’t just talk the talk.

What’s more, deliverance does not involve revenge, nor assurances that bad things will never happen again. Instead, salvation means freedom to pray and be connected to God. This is what God wants. And so, the Lord will bring and gather faithful people from all over – both Jew and Gentile. They will all dwell together in God’s house with much joy.

An invitation for belonging

We find words in today’s text having to do with a sense of belonging: house, accepting, prayer, gather. Isaiah puts forth a compelling vision of life with God, where we belong and have community. At the heart of God is a hospitality which invites all kinds of people to come and enjoy the divine presence and being with one another.

At the time of Christ’s incarnation, the angels showed up and announced good news of great joy to all people. And yet, far too many persons, perhaps out of sense to guard against outsiders hurting them, turn this gracious message on it’s head by announcing bad news of great judgment to all people that aren’t like me and don’t think like me.

Christ’s Church has struggled through its history to invite and include the other, and to uphold this basic message of gracious good news for everyone.

From the Council of Jerusalem that met to decide whether one ought to become a Jew first in order to be a Christian (Acts 15), to withholding membership to African Americans in certain churches in the 20th century, to the just plain ignoring of the poor and marginalized in many places, we must be intentional and deliberate about reaching and ministering to all people.

The joy of salvation is that I do not need to jump through certain spiritual hoops to enter into Christianity, nor be a certain kind of person. The church is not an exclusive club of one particular sort of people based in race, gender, ethnicity, class, spiritual pedigree, or even certain preferences on issues. Through repentance and faith in Jesus, all may come to God.

All people have intrinsic worth as individuals created in the image of God, and therefore need the attention of Christians in bringing the gospel to them. It is much too easy to ignore people we do not understand and who are different from us, or to look down on those who do not agree with me on disputable matters.

When it comes to the good news of Jesus, having people out of sight does not mean we keep them out of mind. Too many people are often off the radar of many churches for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is because the poor and needy have to compete with the wealthy and powerful for attention. To intentionally reach and minister to a different class or generation or race requires much love and many resources.

How big is your inner space?

Jesus had a big enough inner space to accommodate prostitutes, drunks, tax collectors, and a whole variety of sinners. Do you and I have a big enough space to allow people in our lives who are not like us, without feeling threatened or insecure? The Pharisees feared being contaminated if having table fellowship with such people; the Sadducees were afraid of losing their religious power if the status quo was changed to focus on others; and the Zealots feared continued Roman domination if Jesus kept up spending his time in graciousness to all kinds of sinners. So, all the religious people killed him.

The gospel of Jesus is good news of great joy for everyone. We are to work together to propagate this message by having the shared purpose of evangelism to everyone without discrimination. When we engage in this critical endeavor together, there is tremendous joy. We are meant to gather on God’s holy mountain and share with all sorts of people.

Blessed Lord God, through your Son you commanded us to go into all the world and proclaim good news to every creature. Increase our faith and zeal, that we may more earnestly desire the salvation of all people.

We confess that our hearts are often indifferent and dull to your cry of mission. Forgive our callousness and judgmentalism toward others, and by your Holy Spirit fill us with a burning zeal to bring light into darkness. Give us loving hearts, sincerity of speech, and holiness of life.

Knowing that this world, as it is now, will not last forever, drawing to a close, may we by your Spirit’s prompting, support the mission of this church with our personal witness, our earnest prayers, and our sacrificial gifts. Grant that through us many may be included on your holy mountain, through Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit reign as one God, now and forever. Amen.