Tag: grumbling

The Problem with Complaining (Exodus 15:22-27)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Then Moses led the people of Israel away from the Red Sea, and they moved out into the desert of Shur. They traveled in this desert for three days without finding any water. When they came to the oasis of Marah, the water was too bitter to drink. So they called the place Marah (which means “bitter”).

Then the people complained and turned against Moses. “What are we going to drink?” they demanded. So Moses cried out to the Lord for help, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. Moses threw it into the water, and this made the water good to drink.

It was there at Marah that the Lord set before them the following decree as a standard to test their faithfulness to him. He said, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the Lord who heals you.”

After leaving Marah, the Israelites traveled on to the oasis of Elim, where they found twelve springs and seventy palm trees. They camped there beside the water. (New Living Translation)

I like children’s books. I suppose it’s because I’m still a kid at heart. It’s fun to read to my grandkids. One of the books I read to them is “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” The book begins with Alexander recounting when he awoke one morning:

“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day…. I think I’ll move to Australia.”

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst

For the remainder of the story, Alexander’s day was a mishap of messes. Nothing seemed to go his way, and no one appeared to notice or even to care.

One of the reasons the book has been read so many times by so many children (and obviously adults, like me) is because we can all relate to the feelings of having a day where nothing seems to go right. In the middle of it we just feel like being somewhere else, like Australia.

In such times, when life is topsy-turvy and upside-down, it is so amazingly easy to grumble and complain. The ancient Israelites were having an Alexander-like day. Unlike having gum in your hair, not having water to drink is a big deal, a vital problem. So, we might understand why there was so much grumbling going on among the people. I am sure they were anxious, nervous, and scared.

Yet, complaining, unlike our emotions, is a volitional response. We choose to grumble. The problem with gripes and complaints is that it sets a person down a dark path. Oh, the criticisms and grievances begin easily and are seemingly harmless, at first. They are, however, anything but innocuous.

A mere grumble under the breath did not stop with finally getting water to drink. If we look ahead in the story of God’s people in the exodus event, the moaning and complaining quickly returned the minute something did not go their way. Then, the people became so disillusioned with their circumstances that they began longing for the “good old days” back in Egypt when they had plenty to eat and drink, forgetting about their cruel bondage in slavery. (Exodus 16:1-3)

The psychological progression continued with beginning to blame their situation on God, as if he were some mean malevolent deity. From that point, it was inevitable that the people would disobey God and eventually succumb to the idolatry of the golden calf. (Exodus 32:1-8)

Despite the grand celebration of leaving Egypt and experiencing a miraculous deliverance through the Red Sea, the people quickly forgot because of their present circumstance of lacking water. It is only logical and makes sense that the mighty God who saved them with incredible acts of power would care for the people in a desert. Yet, for many, there was no faith to be found in a new situation they had not faced before.

Failure of faith begins neither with ignorance nor an egregious sin. It begins with grumbling and complaining. And if allowed to run amok, complaints will bear the fruit of discouragement, disobedience, and eventually a disavowal of God.

The author of the New Testament letter to the Hebrews reflected on the grumbling of their forebears and had this to say in response:

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. As has just been said:

“Today, if you hear his voice,
    do not harden your hearts
    as you did in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:12-15, NIV)

Encouragement is the insecticide which eliminates the worm of complaints. If left alone, we stew in our own bitterness over missed expectations. Grumbling bores its way into our soul and eats away at our faith. We need the continual encouragement of one another to remember our collective deliverance and express gratitude for our salvation.

May it be so to the glory of God.

We give you thanks, Lord God, because you give food and drink to all, heal all, create wonders in this world, forge wisdom within us, and give refuge beneath the shadow of your wings. From your wisdom grant us wisdom, from your love grant us love, from your understanding grant us understanding.

Feed us when we are hungry, give us strength when we are weak, raise us up when we are bent over, set us free when we are enslaved. Just as our spiritual ancestors were blessed – may you grant us the blessing of peace, strength, and gratitude. Amen.

Rejoice instead of Complain (Philippians 2:14-18, 3:1-4a)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me…

Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh—though I myself have reasons for such confidence. (New International Version)

Here is a simple observation: Complaining and rejoicing cannot come out of the same mouth at the same time. The two of them mix about as well as toasters and bathtubs.

Everything is to be done without grumbling or arguing. Sheer willpower is insufficient for the task. Instead, you and I need to replace words of complaint with words of joy. Rejoicing is the antidote to murmuring. The world already has more than enough curmudgeons who crank on about everything from politics and religion to the weather and social media. Grumblers seem to always find the negative in just about everything.

Any fool can complain. It’s easy. Complaining takes little effort, and even less brains. Joy, however, takes some work. The sage person practices gratitude and joy so that it becomes the default response to most situations. We need a lot more folks with joy in this sad world.

Yesterday I visited a dear woman who was just diagnosed with cancer, and is expected to have only months to live. She had many tears, yet she also had lots of smiles. In fact, she was either crying or smiling most of the time. And her smile was genuine, not forced.

Whenever I encounter folks like this, who do not complain but rather rejoice, I ask them, “What gives you such joy in the midst of such sorrow?” This particular woman answered, “I have a simple faith. I trust God. I believe the Lord is good. I am blessed with many friends, a supportive family, and a God who loves me.” May her tribe increase.

On this same day, I visited another woman. She also had just been diagnosed with cancer and was facing a shortened lifespan. She yelled at the doctor and argued with the nurse, screamed at and quarreled with her family, and cried without any joy in my presence. Eventually, she left the hospital against medical advice because all she did was complain about everything and everyone.

Although I believe it is quite appropriate to have anger against disease, it’s inappropriate to rage against other people. The woman was miserable and had no smiles. I couldn’t help but see the incredible contrast between the two women in a single day of visits.

For all the talk we hear about how important it is to be positive, it is, unfortunately, negativity that sells, wins elections, and moves people. The irony of it all is that a large chunk of people continually grumbles, complains, and argues about all the negativity in the world. *Sigh*

Complaining and arguing are nasty practices; they breed disunity and division within groups and families. Murmuring only warps the ones who do it and infects others with spiritual disease.

Grumbling is always the first building block of a crooked and depraved generation. Conversely, being blameless and pure is winsomely attractive and unites folks together as a cohesive force for the world. Joy inoculates people from divisive pathogens. A people who rejoice together produce generations of individuals who impact their culture with delight and satisfaction.

Not even suffering and hard circumstances can curtail the comfort and cheer of the joyful. Rejoicing is a way of life – a path which no one and nothing can take away from us. Unwanted situations can be imposed on us, yet a person’s joy cannot be dislodged.

Eleanor Porter’s 1913 storybook character, Pollyanna, learned to take such a look upon life from her parents. Even after losing them to an accident and being orphaned, she honored their memory by saying, “… there is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it.” Pollyanna went on to teach an entire community about her way of life:

“What people need is encouragement. Their natural resisting powers should be strengthened, not weakened…. Instead of always harping on a person’s faults, tell them of their virtues. Try to pull them out of their rut of bad habits. Hold up to them their better self, the real self that can dare and do and win out! … The influence of a beautiful, helpful, hopeful character is contagious, and may revolutionize a whole town…. People radiate what is in their minds and in their hearts. If a person feels kindly and obliging, their neighbors will feel that way, too. But if a person scolds and scowls and criticizes—their neighbors will return scowl for scowl and add interest! … When you look for the bad, expecting it, you will get it. When you know you will find the good—you will get that…”

Pollyanna, by Eleanor H. Porter, 1913

I wonder what our world would look like if we all took such an approach of finding joy in our lives. We are meant to guard ourselves from those who boast and brag, who belligerently bully others with their bellicose blustering and bellyaching.

We are designed by our Creator for better things. Joy is more than the spice of life; it is life itself. Moving mindfully and without rush through our days, setting aside times for contemplation and rest, offering gratitude to God and encouragement to others, and exploring our own heart’s desire are all ways we can tap into the large hidden reservoir of joy within each of us.

Complaining is cheap and easy. Joy is rich, full, satisfying, and takes practice to master. Rejoice in the Lord, take joy in the presence of the Spirit, and exult in Christ our Savior. In doing so, we shoo the devil away and create a better society.

God is good all the time. And all the time God is good.

O Lord, you have searched me out and known me; you know my sitting down and my rising up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You mark out my journeys and my resting place and are acquainted with all my ways. Lord of creation, whose glory is around and within us: Open our eyes to your wonders so that we may serve you with reverence and know your peace and joy in our lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Pathology of Complaining (Numbers 20:1-13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

In the first month the whole Israelite community arrived at the Desert of Zin, and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried.

Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the Lord! Why did you bring the Lord’s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here? Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!”

Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord said to Moses, “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”

So Moses took the staff from the Lord’s presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”

These were the waters of Meribah, where the Israelites quarreled with the Lord and where he was proved holy among them. (New International Version)

Moses Strikes the Rock, by Rivka Korf

Every heinous sin you can think of – the worst of the worst – initially began as complaining and quarreling. Wherever you find murmuring and disrespect, you are looking at a spiritual illness which, if untreated, will poison the soul and result in apostasy, that is, a complete failure and repudiation of faith.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is a reminder and a warning that people’s faith can weaken to the point of becoming almost non-existent. There is a pathological process which brings people to a point of turning away from their faith:

  1. Complaining. It all starts with muttering some discontentment under the breath; murmuring dissatisfaction; and grumbling some ingratitude for what one already has. The Israelites complained about the lack of water. They quarreled with Moses about it and directed their anger at him.
  2. Psychotic depression. Most depression is normal, understandable, and even needed. However, psychotic depression is expressing a wish to be dead because of spiritual instability and an inability to see God at work. In other words, it’s manipulative. It’s a passive-aggressive type of anger directed at those who represent God. This is not a depression you can diagnose or put on someone; it’s a grief reaction gone sideways in wishing harm at self or others.
  3. Daydreaming. This is a preoccupation with “the good old days.” Back there in Egypt, the Israelites had figs, and grapevines, and water. But out here, they’ve got nothing. The people were experiencing extreme tunnel vision, only remembering the food they used to eat, instead of the bland manna they had to gather every day. They had completely blocked out the reason they were in the desert – because God brought a miraculous deliverance from slavery. Egypt was, in fact, anything but the good old days.
  4. Blaming. The people blamed Moses for bringing them into the wilderness. They criticized him for their lack of food and water. In reality, Moses was just doing what God wanted – and actually what the people wanted. The Israelites wanted out of Egypt; and then, when they left and things got hard, the people shifted the blame of hard circumstances onto Moses (and God).
  5. Disobeying. Why obey Moses or even Yahweh if you believe they’re out to get you, or don’t care? Maybe we just look out for ourselves and do what we think is best. (Exodus 16:1-28)
  6. Idolatry. Eventually, the people formed a “Back to Egypt” campaign. They turned their backs on Moses and on God. They lost faith, made a golden calf, and called it their god. (Exodus 32:1-8)

Despite all the whining and twisted thinking, God was gracious. The Lord told Moses to take up his staff, gather the people, and speak to a rock. God would provide by causing water to gush out of it.

At this point, Moses was upset. It seems to me he had enough of the people’s insolence and complaining. So, he ends up speaking to the people instead of the rock; and striking the rock with his staff instead of letting God do the striking.

It looks like rebellion rubs off and infects everyone, because Moses is chided by God for his own rebelliousness. Specifically, he was rebuked for not trusting God. As a result, Moses would not join the rest of the community in entering the Promised Land.

This is really a sad ending to the story. Moses was just trying to obey the Lord and lead the people. I can totally understand how exasperated he must have been from the constant griping of the people. Yet, Moses was held to account for his own lack of faith. And the people would eventually experience a harsh judgment for their faithlessness.

Don’t be misled. Bad company corrupts good character. (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Being around a bunch of ingrates will cause the good person to quit giving thanks.

Surrounding oneself with faithless people will result in that person eventually losing faith.

And hearing other people continually complain about their circumstances will cause you to grumble, setting the whole group on the road to spiritual death.

I don’t want that. And I don’t want it for you, either. If you are in such a group, get out, go, and be around people with the sort of values you care about. Life is too short to mess around with a bunch of complainers.

Lord Jesus Christ, you prayed for your friends that they would be one as you and your Father are one. We confess our resistance to your prayer. We have failed to maintain the unity of the Spirit. We have broken the bond of peace.

For the times we have not listened to each other, when we have spoken in anger, haste or fear, we are sorry. For the times we have not loved each other, when we have competed, or insulted or judged each other, we are sorry. For the harm that our disunity has done to our witness to the Gospel, we are sorry.

Have mercy on us, we pray. Restore us to friendship with you and with one another, through the power of your Spirit. Amen.

Be Careful What You Ask For (Numbers 11:18-23, 31-32)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Now tell the people, ‘Purify yourselves for tomorrow; you will have meat to eat. The Lord has heard you whining and saying that you wished you had some meat and that you were better off in Egypt. Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will have to eat it. You will have to eat it not just for one or two days, or five, or ten, or even twenty days, but for a whole month, until it comes out of your ears, until you are sick of it. This will happen because you have rejected the Lord who is here among you and have complained to him that you should never have left Egypt.’”

Moses said to the Lord, “Here I am leading 600,000 people, and you say that you will give them enough meat for a month? Could enough cattle and sheep be killed to satisfy them? Are all the fish in the sea enough for them?”

“Is there a limit to my power?” the Lord answered. “You will soon see whether what I have said will happen or not!”…

Suddenly the Lord sent a wind that brought quails from the sea, flying three feet above the ground. They settled on the camp and all around it for miles and miles in every direction. So all that day, all night, and all the next day, the people worked catching quails; no one gathered less than fifty bushels. They spread them out to dry all around the camp. (Good News Translation)

I can just imaging the dialogue around the campfire at night with some of the ancient Israelites. Out in the middle of nowhere, delivered from Egyptian slavery, but not yet to the Promised Land, they were feeling the awkward space of being in-between those two places:

“Manna, again!? Geez, are we ever going to get anything else to eat?”

“Doesn’t look like it, does it? Every single day we get up, go out on the desert, collect the manna, eat it all day, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again.”

Do you remember back in Egypt, we had garlic and leeks and stew and meat? Oh, glorious meat! Sometimes I think we were better of there. Dang it, I want meat! Don’t you want meat, too!?”

“Yeah, I’m sick of this manna. Hey, there’s Moses. Get us some meat, Moses! Did you bring us out here to bore us to death with manna!? What are you doing about it? Where are you leading us? Where’s the meat?”…

And on and on it goes, the murmuring about food and conditions in the desert.

When life is topsy-turvy and upside-down, it is so amazingly easy to grumble and complain. The ancient Israelites sometimes didn’t have water to drink. They had a limited diet of manna. They were anxious, nervous, and scared, wondering if things would get better, or not. The people were in a life-and-death sort of situation.

How would you respond?

Complaining, unlike our emotions such as fear, is a volitional response. We choose to grumble. The problem with gripes and complaints is that it sets a person down a dark path. The criticisms and grievances begin easily and are seemingly harmless, that is, at first. They are, however, anything but innocuous or innocent.

The murmuring under the breath did not stop with getting meat to eat. If we look ahead in the story of God’s people in the exodus event, the moaning and complaining quickly returned. The people became so disillusioned with their circumstances that they began longing for the “good old days” back in Egypt when they had plenty to eat and drink, forgetting about their cruel bondage in slavery. (Exodus 16:1-3)

The psychological progression continued with beginning to blame their situation on God, as if the Lord were some mean malevolent deity. From that point, it was inevitable that the people would disobey God and eventually succumb to the idolatry of the golden calf. (Exodus 32:1-8)

Despite the grand celebration of leaving Egypt and experiencing a miraculous deliverance through the Red Sea, the people quickly forgot because of their present mundane circumstance of eating manna every day.

If they were spiritually healthy, they would realize that the mighty God who saved them with incredible acts of power would care for them in a desert. Yet, for many, there was no faith to be found in a new situation they had not faced before.

Failure of faith begins neither with ignorance nor an egregious sin. It begins with grumbling and complaining. And if allowed to run amok, complaints will bear the fruit of discouragement, disobedience, and finally, a disavowal of God.

Sometimes, if you want something bad enough, God will give it to you. And you won’t like it. That’s because the heart has already been attuned to grumbling and murmuring. The heart’s hunger will never be satiated; it’s sick. And it can become so sick that a heart transplant is needed – an altogether new heart. Yet God will even help with that:

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations. (Ezekiel 36:26-27, NLT)

Acceptance means practicing a conscious effort to acknowledge and honor difficult situations and emotions. Fully accepting things as they are, instead of ignoring, avoiding, or wishing the situation were different, can be a critical step in moving through a difficult experience to experiencing more meaning.

Learning to be satisfied and content begins with accepting our current reality and present circumstances. The state of our minds and our hearts will determine whether we will ever be happy or not. When we discover how to synchronize ourselves with the groove of God’s Spirit, then we shall enjoy an abundant life of contentment – no matter the situation.

May we be able to say along with the psalmist:

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
    I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
    My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the dead
    or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life,
    granting me the joy of your presence
    and the pleasures of living with you forever. (Psalm 16:7-11, NLT)