Tag: forgive

Forgive (Mark 11:20-25)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jesus Cursing the Fig Tree by Ganosh Kelagina Beedu Shenay, 2016

In the morning as they passed by, they saw the fig tree withered away to its roots. Then Peter remembered and said to him, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered.” Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and if you do not doubt in your heart but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (New Revised Standard Version)

Sometimes forgiveness seems about as possible as moving a mountain or withering a fig tree. Yet, it can be done. It needs to be done. An unforgiving spirit withers a person from the inside-out.

The heart of the good news in the Bible is forgiveness of sins. It comes through the person and work of Jesus Christ. Forgiveness is both an event, and a process. Forgiveness is to be a constant dynamic within our relationships because we live in a fallen world. 

People sin against us, and others hurt us. We sin against other people and hurt them, too. Relational pain is a reality this side of heaven. Revenge and/or passive-aggressive behavior are neither biblical nor healthy ways of handling our hurt. So, what is a person to do?

We practice forgiveness. The following is some biblical guidance as to what forgiveness is, and is not:

Forgiveness is hard work

God did not promise forgiveness would be easy. He knows exactly the kind of cost it brings. Through the death of Jesus there can be and is forgiveness. The price of forgiveness for Jesus was not cheap.

The blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean.  How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! (Hebrews 9:13-14, NIV)

Forgiveness is a process

Forgiveness is an ongoing process of putting off bad relational habits and putting on good ones. It takes time and cannot be hasty. Forgiveness must be deliberate with no shortcuts to it, otherwise it will not stick. 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:21-32, NIV)

Forgiveness does not mean we condone bad behavior

Forgiveness is not blanket amnesty. It does not simply give another person a “pass” on their hurtful words or actions. Forgiveness means we do not hold the offense over the other person’s head. 

“Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.”

Fred Luskin, Stanford University

We cannot undo the past. Yet, we have control of the present, and can choose to forgive. True forgiveness calls a spade a spade and names the specific offense in all its ugliness, and lets it go.

You’re an evil man! When you begged for mercy, I said you did not have to pay back a cent.  Don’t you think you should show pity to someone else, as I did to you? (Matthew 18:32-33, CEV)

Forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation

It takes two to reconcile. It only takes one to forgive.

I have often been told that it will not do any good to forgive another person because it would not change them. I respectfully retort: That is not the point. We forgive because it is our responsibility to work through our forgiveness issues and do it. We are not in control of whether another person will feel sorry for what they did, or not.  We regulate our own decision to forgive, no matter what the other person does or does not do, or whether they feel the gravity of their sin, or not.

If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. (Romans 12:18, CEB)

I [Jesus] say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44, NRSV)

Jesus said [on the cross], “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, CSB)

Forgiveness is primarily for our benefit

If we hold on to bitterness toward another for their offense, we only hurt ourselves. Drinking the poison of bitterness will kill you, not the other person. Avoid the magical thinking that they are going to come to you all slobbery sorry for what they said or did. That often does not happen. When it does, it is a beautiful thing. 

Regardless, of another’s decisions, we are to forgive everyone who sins against us just as God has forgiven us.

Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us…. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:12, 14-15, NLT)

Forgiveness is to be frequent and generous

The relational currency in God’s kingdom is forgiveness. Without it, we can neither operate well together, nor can we enjoy a satisfying life. However, with forgiveness, there is a demonstration of the practical effects of Christ’s crucifixion to life, not to mention a good witness to a watching world.  

Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22, MSG)

Forgiveness is an act of faith

To forgive is risky business. If we hold a grudge like a warm security blanket, to toss aside the odd comfort of unforgiveness will seem strange, even fearful. When we are hunkered down in bitterness, we rarely see how it causes faith to weaken.

The longer the lack of forgiving goes on, the harder it will be to give it up. Faith steps out and acts, believing that God is in it. On the other side is the hope of freedom and peace. Besides, the consequences of unforgiveness are downright unpleasant.

Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. (Matthew 6:13-14, MSG)

Forgiveness is a blessing

The end of the matter for many people comes down to the intensely practical. So, here it is: Do you want to be happy or miserable? I am not familiar with anyone who wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, “Well, I think I’ll be miserable today.” No, we want to be happy and blessed. Forgiving others is the path to blessing.

It is a great blessing when people are forgiven for the wrongs they have done, when their sins are erased. (Psalm 32:1, ERV)

May you know the blessing of being forgiven and forgiving others. May this freedom allow you to enjoy the peace of God the encouragement of others. Amen.

The Model Prayer (Matthew 6:7-15)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
The Lord’s Prayer, by He Qi

And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

“Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (New King James Version)

God knows what we need before we even ask, which means the Creator of the universe has the divine ear inclined to listen to us. The Lord desires, even longs for us to pray to him.

Since this is God’s daily disposition, Jesus communicated for us a model way of prayer which exemplifies the values of Christ’s Beatitudes and reflects the priorities of God’s kingdom.

The Lord’s Prayer is meant to be prayed often, mindfully, and with flavor.

Jesus gave us six petitions to guide us in our prayers: The first three petitions are priorities of God that set the tone for the next three petitions, which are centered in our problems of living in this fallen world.

Addressing God

Jesus gave us instruction of how to address God: “Our Father in heaven.” All the pronouns in the Lord’s Prayer are plural, not singular. We are to be concerned for both our own individual issues, and for the needs of the community, and of the problems of the world.

“Father” is an endearing and relational word. “In heaven” balances the closeness and nearness of our heavenly Father with his sovereign and transcendent nature. Our God is both near and far – a close friend as well as a holy king. So, we address our prayers with a proper understanding of who God is.

First Petition: “Hallowed be your name.”

“Hallow” comes from the root word for holiness; it is to sanctify and set apart. God is concerned that we know the distinction between the Creator is holy, and so, the creatures are also to be holy. 

As He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:15-16, NKJV)

Notice the use of the verb: not hallowed “is” your name, but hallowed, or holy “be” your name. Jesus guides us to pray that God’s name would be shown as holy through us by the way we live. The world sees a holy God when God’s people walk in holiness, reflecting the Lord’s benevolent nature. 

Second Petition: “Your kingdom come.”

We live in a fallen world that has come under the domain of dark forces. The unfolding drama of Holy Scripture is that God is on a mission to restore creation to a benevolent rule.

Jesus is the King, we are the subjects, and God’s realm exists wherever his subjects go.  And where his subjects go, they are to pierce the darkness by embodying the good news that King Jesus has overcome the demonic realm and brought us into God’s kingdom. The prayer and proclamation of this good news is of utmost priority to God.

Third Petition: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

God’s ethical will has been revealed to us by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount; the Beatitudes are the cornerstone of his teaching (Matthew 5-7). God’s will is that Christ’s followers be humble; grieve over sin in the world; act with gentleness instead of prideful condescension; hunger for true righteousness instead of legalistic self-righteousness; show mercy; be pure in heart; pursue peace; and, rejoice when persecuted. All of this results in being salt and light in this dark world. (Matthew 5:3-16)

Jesus spells out God’s will in his sermon. Christ’s followers are to:

  1. reconcile with others instead of hold grudges
  2. deal with lust through accountability instead of making excuses for mental adultery
  3. cherish our spouse instead of taking the easy way out when problems arise in marriage
  4. tell the truth at all times instead of shading it
  5. love, not retaliate when personally hurt or insulted.

If God’s will seems an impossible task, that’s because we need divine resources to live a Christian ethic; we need to pray!

The first three petitions are priorities for God. They are asking the same thing – that the full manifestation of God’s reign on earth be realized. 

Therefore, our prayers are not primarily to receive goods and services from God, but for us to render service to God. These prioritized petitions are a desire to see God honored on earth as God is already honored in heaven.

Fourth Petition: “Give us today our daily bread.”

Our bodies enable us to do God’s will, and so we must be concerned for them. Daily, we must have the basic necessities of life to carry out God’s priorities for the church and the world.

In the ancient world, people were paid at the end of each day. Folks also shopped every day at the marketplace for their food because there was no refrigeration. Whenever there was a flood or a drought, it meant much more than high grocery prices; people faced starvation and death.

They needed to trust God for today, and not worry about tomorrow. Even though contemporary people may not always readily perceive their great dependence on God, we still are in divine hands and need faith.

Fifth Petition: “Forgive our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Sin is pictured as a debt. If someone has sinned (trespassed) against us, we must forgive them, thus releasing them from their debt. To forgive does not mean to forget. Rather, we do not hold the debt (the sin) over someone’s head for the rest of their life. 

The person who is forgiven by God is a forgiving person. Our own forgiveness implies that we have done the hard work of repentance through identifying our sin and renouncing it. So, if we fail to forgive, it demonstrates a lack of change on our part. We cannot be forgiven if we spurn God’s freely offered grace. 

Forgiveness is important to Jesus. Thus, we are to squarely face our bitterness. Simply sweeping our hurt under the rug and not extending forgiveness only gives the darkness a foothold into our lives – which is why we are to pray the final petition:

Sixth Petition: “And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.”

Just as we must trust God for our physical necessities, we also must trust God for our spiritual needs – which hinge on the issue of forgiveness – our forgiveness from God through Christ, and the forgiveness we extend to others who have hurt or offended us. 

An unforgiving heart is a major temptation to hate, seek revenge, and retaliate. If we have spent days, weeks, months, years, or even decades harboring an unforgiving spirit through anger, bitterness, and avoidance of facing our past trauma, we have embraced the dark side and need deliverance from evil. 

Freedom comes through acknowledging the offense, receiving grace and forgiveness from God, and passing that same forgiveness and grace to those who hurt us. This is not about whether they deserve it or not; it’s a matter of what I need to do.

Conclusion

The truth sets us free; telling our secrets brings freedom. Apart from naming our shame, we will remain bound and in need of liberation. Tell your secrets to God in the prayer closet, and then tell them to a trusted friend(s). We pray, and we act on what God tells us in prayer.  

The Lord’s Prayer is a model prayer. That means we use the six petitions of Jesus to frame our prayers in our own words, as well as say the words in our favorite translation of the Bible.

Praying this prayer daily shapes our everyday lives, serves as a guide for how to live, and provides discernment in making life’s many decisions. So, let us daily and in every way make use of our Lord’s Prayer.

Our Father in heaven, the One who is both near and far,

May your Name be shown as holy through us, your people.

May others submit to your lordship and become holy, too.

Help us to know your will and to do it.

We need you God, so provide our necessities for today.

Forgive us of our great and many sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned egregiously against us.

Lead us in paths of righteousness, which shoo the devil away.

For you are the Ruler, the Mighty One, forever full of glory and grace. Amen!

To Forgive Is Divine (Genesis 50:15-26)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Joseph pardons his brothers, by Bacchiacca (1495-1557) http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/NG1219

When Joseph’s brothers realized that their father was now dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge against us, and wants to pay us back seriously for all of the terrible things we did to him?” So they approached Joseph and said, “Your father gave orders before he died, telling us, ‘This is what you should say to Joseph. “Please, forgive your brothers’ sins and misdeeds, for they did terrible things to you. Now, please forgive the sins of the servants of your father’s God.”’” Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

His brothers wept too, fell down in front of him, and said, “We’re here as your slaves.”

But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I God? You planned something bad for me, but God produced something good from it, in order to save the lives of many people, just as he’s doing today. Now, don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.” So he put them at ease and spoke reassuringly to them.

Thus Joseph lived in Egypt, he and his father’s household. Joseph lived 110 years and saw Ephraim’s grandchildren. The children of Machir, Manasseh’s son, were also born on Joseph’s knees. Joseph said to his brothers, “I’m about to die. God will certainly take care of you and bring you out of this land to the land he promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.” Joseph made Israel’s sons promise, “When God takes care of you, you must bring up my bones out of here.” Joseph died when he was 110 years old. They embalmed him and placed him in a coffin in Egypt. (Common English Bible)

“All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a divine way when they forgive.”

Alexander Pope, “An Essay on Criticism”

If there was anyone who had a supposed right to be bitter and unforgiving, it would be Joseph. His brothers had hated him, left him for dead, sold him into slavery, and lied to their father Jacob about him. For years, Joseph languished in servitude and prison – for no fault of his own.

And yet, Joseph was able to discern that it wasn’t his place to be the judge. At the end of his life, he had the perspective and the insight to understand that all the hardship earlier in his life was noticed by God, and then bent for good and divine purposes in the saving of many lives.

If we can keep in mind that it is God’s business to run the world, and our business to forgive others, then life will go a lot better for everyone.

Many people live discontented lives because they say to themselves, “I will not forget what you did, and I will not forgive.” Persistent thoughts of revenge only serve as a cancer that destroys the mind’s thoughts, erodes the soul, and hinders the heart’s ability to love. 

But people who practice forgiveness are much less likely to be hateful, hostile, and belligerent toward others. They are healthier and happier, and more at peace.

I’ve had many people tell me over the years, “But you don’t know what I’ve been through.” My typical response is, “You don’t know what I’ve been through, either. You may not even believe some of the things I have experienced, and some of the things that have happened to me and were said to me. So, can I tell you what I have done to forgive those who have sinned against me?”

1. When I am trying to forgive someone, I pray for them.

It’s hard to keep resenting someone and wish them ill, whenever you are praying for them on a regular basis. Joseph was the victim of his brothers’ abuse. If there was ever a dysfunctional family to grow up in, it was Joseph’s. Being sold into slavery by your own brothers and being the target of their derision would cause anyone to be upset. But, many years later, Joseph chose to forgive his brothers. He acted with their best interests at mind. He prayed for them and did not actively work against them. What’s more, he saw the hand of God in it all.

2. I write a letter of forgiveness (which I may or may not send).

In the letter I write in full detail how the person hurt me. I leave nothing out. I express exactly how it made me feel, and how it affected my life. Then, I express forgiveness and say that I will not hold the offense over their head. The following is a five-step process for forgiving others using the acrostic REACH:

Recall 

Name the hurt, and name it squarely. Don’t fudge by saying it’s not that bad, or as bad as others have experienced. Call it what it is: deceit, stealing, harassment, assault, abuse, adultery, verbal shaming, murder, etc. 

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa after apartheid was based on providing full disclosure of all crimes. Those that stepped forward, giving a complete account of their actions, were offered a full pardon. 

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who led the commission, was most struck by how many people wanted to hear what had happened to their loved ones from the perpetrators themselves so that they could know whom to forgive. Methinks we have much to learn from our African brothers and sisters.

Empathize

Try and see the offense from the other person’s perspective. Attempt to put yourself in the other’s shoes. This does not mean we paper over the offense; it just means we don’t demonize another as a monster. That only feeds and fuels our own lack of forgiveness. When we view others as non-human, then we feel no responsibility to forgive.

Altruistic

Choose to do the right thing and treat the other person well, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because it is within your control to extend grace. Again, this is what Joseph chose to do with his brothers. He gave them words of assurance, and promises of taking care of them and their children.

Commit

Commit to practicing forgiveness. Make the decision to do it. Don’t wait too long for your feelings to catch up to you.  

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The Apostle Paul (Colossians 3:13, NIV)

Hold

Hold on to your forgiveness. Just because you make the decision to forgive does not mean you’ll never have to do it again. Once you have forgiven, let it be a stake in the ground in which you look back to it again and again, saying, “I forgave him/her, and I will not let the enemy of my soul keep trying to make me bitter about it all over again.” 

One of the reasons we repeat the Lord’s Prayer Sunday after Sunday in my church is to keep forgiving those who have sinned against us.

3. I talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor about my effort to forgive.

Many people get stuck and have an inability to forgive because they don’t seek a wise person to help them walk through the process of forgiving. 

The easy path is to complain about the offense to someone we know who will react with the same level of disgust and spirit of revenge that we ourselves have in our hearts. But that only reinforces the bitterness. We must have someone who can offer us what we need to hear, and not only what we want to hear.

Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel, and, so, ought to be at the core of a healthy spiritual life. It is always open season on offering grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation. To see all of life from a divine perspective is to forgive.

Pray like this:

Our Father who is in heaven,

uphold the holiness of your name.

Bring in your kingdom

so that your will is done on earth as it’s done in heaven.

Give us the bread we need for today.

Forgive us for the ways we have wronged you,

just as we also forgive those who have wronged us.

And don’t lead us into temptation,

but rescue us from the evil one.

If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:9-15, CEB)

New Rules for a New Society (Ephesians 4:25-32)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year ALeave a comment

We are part of the same body. Stop lying and start telling each other the truth. Don’t get so angry that you sin. Don’t go to bed angry and don’t give the devil a chance.

If you are a thief, quit stealing. Be honest and work hard, so you will have something to give to people in need.

Stop all your dirty talk. Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say.

Don’t make God’s Spirit sad. The Spirit makes you sure that someday you will be free from your sins.

Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. (Contemporary English Version)

New life means being a part of a new society; and a new society means new rules to live by which benefit and uplift the entire community. Old destructive practices must be replaced with new encouraging and supportive ways of being together. Stop taking the broad easy road to destruction and start walking the hard path to life and contentment.

Stop Lying and Start Telling the Truth

Lying exists because people believe that being truthful and transparent is too traumatic. Many people don’t think that being open, honest, real, vulnerable, and genuine is worth the risk. They have believed the lie that they won’t be accepted, that they’ll lose face with others, or that people will just gossip about me if they really knew about me. So, we hide from others and avoid the truth.

In truth, we are responsible for one another – to make and keep promises to each other because that is what God does with us. Churches that love truth will make a safe place for the awkwardness of confession, forgiveness, and healing.

Truthful communities are places of hospitality where we are safe to be real. No one ought to ever suffer in silence, cry alone, or wonder whether others will forsake them. We belong to one another. Therefore, to have union with Christ is to have union with one another; you can’t have one without the other.

Stop Stealing and Start Giving

Theft comes in many forms, especially in our contemporary age. Embezzlement, shoplifting, fraud, plagiarism, and robbery are just a few examples of the ways in which we humans steal from one another.

Embezzlement is the theft of assets (money or property) by a person who has been trusted to keep those assets safe. Instead of embezzling funds, we are to steward those assets well, distributing them with care and a conscience – using them for the benefit of others, not simply ourselves.

Shoplifting involves stealing goods from retail establishments. Some people steal because they are in dire need. Many more steal because they can and want to. We must stop taking things we want, and learn to be satisfied with what we have. And we will only do this by using our own money to buy things for others who are in need.

Fraud is stealing that involves convincing the victim to surrender their money or property under false pretenses. This is nothing more than manipulating someone to get what you want. Work hard to defend the defenseless and ensure their justice, rather than commit a gross injustice against them.

Plagiarism is the practice of taking someone else’s work or ideas and passing them off as one’s own. It’s cheap. It’s easy. And don’t do it, period. Someone else worked very hard to create what you may nonchalantly use for your quick benefit. Take the pains to credit someone else’s work and document the sources you use.

Robbery is a theft that involves using violence, intimidation, or threats to obtain property. Put the threats, guns, and false confidence away. In it’s place, do whatever it takes to do things right, hold a job, and give something back to society.

Stop All the Unhelpful Talk and Start Encouraging

Corrupt or dirty talk is totally unnecessary. It’s unwholesome and benefits nobody. Rather, make it your aim to use your words for good by encouraging others.

Encouragement involves strongly urging someone to do something with an equal commitment to lovingly come alongside and help. This requires both verbal exhortations and tangible assistance. Encouragement is the glue which holds a people together. Without it, a society degenerates into watching-out-for-number-one, and destructive personal survival tactics which will say anything to get what one wants.

Stop the Bitterness and Start Forgiving

Forgiveness is choosing not to hold another’s persons offensive words or actions over their head. It is:

  • Specific to an event, action, or words.
  • A process: it takes time to truly forgive.
  • Something anybody can do, regardless of race, creed, religion, etc.
  • Hard.
  • Freeing.
  • Ongoing.
  • Gracious.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis Smedes, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

Bitterness, however, wants to hold onto a grudge and seeks to punish the one who has offended them. That’s the way of Satan, not God. Even if the person has set themselves up as your enemy, we have clear exhortations from Jesus to love our enemies and do good to them, not harm. (Matthew 5:43-48)

The world revolves on the axis of mercy, not judgment. The sooner we get in the groove of how things actually operate for us to live a good life, the better that our relationships and society will be.

Good and gracious God, we ask that you make our life journey safe as we choose integrity, not disintegration. Shed light on those who follow crooked paths. May their dishonesty be exposed so that corrections can be made before further damage occurs. Help our nations, neighborhoods, and faith communities choose a path of mercy and goodness, rather than the crooked way of lies, theft, vitriol, and grudge-bearing. May we see a new wave of integrity sweeping over our world, through Jesus Christ our Lord, by the power of your Holy Spirit. Amen.