Tag: family life

Consider Carefully How You Listen (Luke 8:16-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them.”

Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.”

He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” (New International Version)

In this chapter of Luke’s Gospel, Jesus had just finished offering his parable of the sower. Central to that parable is the message of true hearing. To really hear the word of God is to believe it, and put it into practice.

The verses for today are arranged by the Evangelist Luke to emphasize this very important need for listening well, and integrating the Word of God into every facet of our daily lives.

Listening and the Light

Christ communicated to his disciples that persons with a noble and good heart are the ones who truly hear the Word of God, retain it, and persevere in following through and doing what they have heard. This is how one produces a spiritual harvest of righteousness and peace.

The good listeners who receive the Word are the ones who have the Light of the World in their daily life. They allow their own little light within them to be seen. The Light is meant to bring illumination for others.

Jesus exhorts his disciples to share the light of revelation given to them – because the world needs to continually hear and see that God’s benevolent and gracious kingdom is breaking into their communities and neighborhoods, into their institutions and their families.

For the sake of the church’s life, individual believers, and even the life of the world, it is imperative that we continually hear that God’s victorious reign of justice, goodness, and righteousness is truly and presently entering this realm we inhabit.

Therefore, it is quite needful that we learn to listen well. To hear the Word of God, respond obediently to it, and then openly proclaim what we have heard and seen, is how the mighty works of God are spread across the world.

Throughout the history of Christianity, whenever the church devoted themselves to hearing the Word, it resulted in doing things which bring light to the world. Here are just a few examples of how believers have let their light shine into the darkest times of history:

  • Taking-in and adopting unwanted children who would otherwise be victims of infanticide, even though the believers own resources were limited
  • Moving toward the sick and dying and ministering to them during periods of plague and disease, while the rest moved away in order to avoid becoming sick themselves
  • Caring for prisoners who had no family to provide them with necessary food and clothing, as if those persons were their own kin
  • Giving benevolence and kindness to the poor – especially to immigrants, widows, and orphans

Listening and the Family

Jesus states that those who hear and do the Word of God are his family – a new family oriented around the spiritual, and not just biological bloodlines.

Many people today are uprooted from one’s family of origin. And there are a great many older persons who either live alone as widows or widowers, or are not geographically (nor relationally) close to their own biological children and/or grandchildren.

For a host of reasons, millions of persons around the world are estranged from family members.

Sometimes, religious beliefs and spiritual commitments lie at the heart of family estrangement. This is one significant reason why the church is important; it serves as the community of the redeemed, a group of people with like-minded values who support one another, much like a family is supposed to do.

One of the many metaphors of the church in the New Testament is of “the family of God.”

Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all of God’s family…. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more…

1 Thessalonians 4:9-10, NIV

The church is made up of a conglomeration of families who are meant to strengthen one another in faith, and are present with each other in times of change and loss.

We must continually keep in mind (and heart) that the church is not designed to be a mere collection of individuals or families; but rather to be a new family, brought together by the providence of God; to be a community of redeemed persons, living and loving Jesus together through supporting each other’s faith, and practicing love one to another.

The church is indeed the family of God.

And within any family – whether spiritual or biological – listening must be at the heart of relational dynamics with each other as members. Without truly hearing what each person is saying, as well as what the Word of God is saying to us collectively, it is difficult to experience unity, harmony, and love.

We listen, and then we act on what we hear – for the benefit of the family – both biological and spiritual. So, consider carefully how you listen and hear.

Generous and loving God, I come to you in thanksgiving, knowing that all I am and all that I have is a gift from you.

In faith and love, help me to do your good and benevolent will. Speak Lord, for I am listening. Let me hear your words in the depth of my soul, and let me hear them clearly.

I offer to you today every aspect of my life – no matter what is, or where I am. I seek to be patient, merciful, generous, and holy in all I say and do. Give me wisdom and insight to understand your will, and the energy to carry out my good intentions.

I offer to you my time, abilities, possessions – and even the lack thereof of them – to you as a true act of faith, to reflect my love for you and for my neighbor. Help me to reach out to others as you have reached out to me; through Jesus Christ my Lord, in the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Struggling in the Season (Genesis 25:19-28)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year CLeave a comment
Art by Sefira Lightstone

These are the descendants of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, sister of Laban the Aramean. Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife because she was barren, and the Lord granted his prayer, and his wife Rebekah conceived. The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is to be this way, why do I live?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. And the Lord said to her,

“Two nations are in your womb,
    and two peoples born of you shall be divided;
the one shall be stronger than the other;
    the elder shall serve the younger.”

When her time to give birth was at hand, there were twins in her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy mantle, so they named him Esau. Afterward his brother came out, with his hand gripping Esau’s heel, so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.

When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, living in tents. Isaac loved Esau because he was fond of game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. (New Revised Standard Version)

As we near the end of Advent and the anticipation of the Christ child, today’s Old Testament lesson is a reminder to us of a much earlier birth.

The birth of the twins Jacob and Esau from Rebekah and the patriarch Isaac, are part of the promise given to Abraham, which would find its fulfillment centuries later, according to Christians, with the incarnation of Christ.

In this time of year, we may commonly associate the season with an emphasis on peace and unity. Yet, we must bear in mind that the need to emphasize these positive elements arises because enmity and discord exists among us.

In our story for today, we are reminded that God also works within conflict, even family conflict, to further divine purposes and promises. God’s presence exists through times of strife and disagreement, just as much as it does in times of joy of celebration.

The sibling rivalry between Jacob and Esau began within the womb and at their birth. Their adverse relationship and continual competition was something God used, and bent it toward the Lord’s good plans and purposes for people.

Just as Mary and Elizabeth were mothers central to the direction of God’s will accomplished on this earth, so Rebekah is a pivotal character in the early history of the people of Israel, and their covenantal promises.

And similar to Mary and Elizabeth in the New Testament, Rebekah in the Old Testament was given children by means of God’s gracious power. We are meant to see God’s sovereign authority over all things, including control of the future. The text of Scripture values faith, and trusting in divine promises.

The two babies, Esau and Jacob, are more than twins. They each are ancestors of entire nations of people: Esau of Edom, and Jacob of Israel.

Against all odds, Jacob is the one who kept coming out on top of things. His character reveals something of the nation of Israel’s understanding of themselves. Israel is a small, and by all appearances, an insignificant nation; and yet, they become identified as God’s covenant people.

The ways of the Lord are often quite contradictory to societal convention and cultural expectations. The smallest and the youngest, the least and the forgotten, become prominent in God’s economy of things. This is a common pattern throughout Holy Scripture. (e.g. Genesis 17:18-19; 42:6-9; 1 Samuel 16:10-13; 17:33, 50)

Even though the two of them are twins, Esau and Jacob have very different personalities and interests. Esau was an outdoorsman, a hunter, who wasn’t home much. He had an extroverted life which had him interacting with all sorts of different people, especially women from other places. Jacob, however, hung around the home tents, an introvert. He comes across a stereotypical mama’s boy.

Yet, despite Jacob’s continual conniving, and Esau’s constant disdain for his family’s heritage with God, the Lord nevertheless showed generosity to both brothers.

But for a long time, it seemed as if one might kill the other, or both of them may do away with each other. Yet, eventually, there is a reunion between the brothers.

Ultimately, their story as brothers ends without any more sibling rivalry or hatred. Instead, there is reconciliation, blessing, and peace, as they positively accept one another and share in the burial of their father Isaac.

Especially in this time of year, when families gather around tables to eat, watch football games together, and go outside for semi-ceremonial smokes and drinks – and all that goes with being together around family, there is the inevitable conflict.

And when it comes, each individual responds in their typical way of either avoidance, confrontation, or quick-fix resolution. But there is also another way to respond.

Know that struggle, rivalry, emotion, longing, and belonging are all part of our human experience. And God is just as much present within those times, as God is in the blessing before eating, or the spiritual conversation between friends, or the collective sojourn to church on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day.

The blessing and abundance of God comes through all sorts of means. The ways of the Lord are often beyond what we might think or believe.

This season is an opportunity to embrace the conflict and the struggle, in order to know God better, know friends and family better, and better know what it means to be blessed.

Almighty, ever-living, and ever-loving God, the Nativity of your Son draws near. May divine mercy flow from your Word, made flesh for us of the Virgin Mary, to us, your unworthy yet faithful servants. Let him establish his dwelling on this earth, and in our hearts, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Caring For the Aged (1 Timothy 5:1-8)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 

The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (New International Version)

Timothy was the young Pastor of the Church in Ephesus, having been appointed by his mentor, the Apostle Paul. Paul wrote to his protégé in order to clarify and remind Timothy of how to go about his ministerial duties amongst the congregation.

In dealing with older persons, Paul instructed that they must not be dealt with harshly. There needs to be gentleness and moderation in correcting any faults with elders. Old folks already take quite enough medicine they don’t like. No one, especially some whipper-snapper, ought to come along and add some bitter medicine to their regimen.

Instead, provide exhortation which is tolerable, and evidences genuine concern and humility. Make it good medicine.

Timothy was not to allow the older folks to get away with being stinkers. And the way to handle this is by being respectful, considerate, and gentle.

Since the Body of Christ is a family, older men need to be treated as fathers, and older women as mothers. The younger women, too, must be corrected, when necessary. Although it is a delicate task, it needs to be engaged with the same care as the older men.

If Timothy thought about his ministry with people as dealing with his own mother, then he would do it with a great deal of love, humility, grace, and wisdom. Not only is the message to be conveyed; the spirit behind the message is just as important.

Younger women are to be treated as sisters; and young men as brothers. The way everyone is handled is significant. All persons, without exception, need love and attention.

The Apostle pointed out that there are certain groups of people which require special attention. Therefore, distressed widows need to be honored and treated with high regard.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling. (Psalm 68:5, NIV)

Widows are identified in Scripture as those who are under the special care of God. So, how we treat them, is how we are treating God.

Any widow in the church who had no little to no support were to be provided for by the church. In the earliest church, this was important enough to warrant the creating of a new church ministry of deacons. (Acts 6:1-6)

Those widows who have children and/or grandchildren are to be first and foremost cared for by their family. Paul was unequivocable on this point. He insisted that a family with needy members, such as widows, are to put their religion into practice by ensuring that their mother or grandmother or aunt or any widow in the family is given what they need to live.

The Apostle’s directive to Timothy is that the church must not be unnecessarily burdened. Paul’s larger concern, however, was that adult children should honor their parents. That is their first religious duty as Christians. They ought to make a real and substantial effort toward mom and dad by providing for them in their old age, when they need it.

“It is easier for one poor father to bring up ten children, than it is for ten rich children to provide for one poor father.”

Dutch proverb

The provision for needy parents is to be done with a spirit of gratitude, love, and appreciation. I understand that this admonition gets rather dicey when it comes to adult children who were raised by a mother or father who was, at best, a stinker, and at worst, downright mean or abusive.

Yet, the wise Christian will learn to find ways toward returning a curse with a blessing, and so, honors both the parent and God. This in no way requires ignoring one’s own needs; it just means that we will strive to discover how to honor and provide for an aged mom or dad.

Having said that, there is a wide difference between the widow who puts her trust in God, and the widow who lives frivolously with no concern for God or others. The pious widow with no family must be cared for by the church. And the dissolute widow is not to be treated the same. The church, as well as the family, will need to be creative in how to approach such widows.

Each case within both the church and the family needs to be considered on its own merits. There is not necessarily a one-size-fits-all approach in every situation with a needy person. The following verses are helpful for us, as we consider how to assist:

Jesus said to his disciples,

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34, NIV)

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12, NIV)

And the Apostle Paul said to the Church in Galatia,

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NIV)

Whatever we do, or not do, we are not to neglect needy persons in our family or faith community. To reject or deny such persons is tantamount to rejecting one’s Christian faith.

Let us strive for both duty and delight in caring for the needy amongst us. Both are important. Sheer duty without delight is mere drudgery; it cannot be sustained. And only delight without any duty is irresponsible; it is also unsustainable.

May God’s provision and blessing be with you, as you strive to honor both your biological family, and your spiritual family. Amen.

Family Drama (2 Samuel 13:37-14:24)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
The woman of Tekoa before King David, by Caspar Luiken, 1700

Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son.

After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.

Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom. So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him.” And Joab put the words in her mouth.

When the woman from Tekoa went to the king, she fell with her face to the ground to pay him honor, and she said, “Help me, Your Majesty!”

The king asked her, “What is troubling you?”

She said, “I am a widow; my husband is dead. I your servant had two sons. They got into a fight with each other in the field, and no one was there to separate them. One struck the other and killed him. Now the whole clan has risen up against your servant; they say, ‘Hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed; then we will get rid of the heir as well.’ They would put out the only burning coal I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth.”

The king said to the woman, “Go home, and I will issue an order in your behalf.”

But the woman from Tekoa said to him, “Let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt.”

The king replied, “If anyone says anything to you, bring them to me, and they will not bother you again.”

She said, “Then let the king invoke the Lord his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed.”

“As surely as the Lord lives,” he said, “not one hair of your son’s head will fall to the ground.”

Then the woman said, “Let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.”

“Speak,” he replied.

The woman said, “Why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son? Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.

“And now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. Your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; perhaps he will grant his servant’s request. Perhaps the king will agree to deliver his servant from the hand of the man who is trying to cut off both me and my son from God’s inheritance.’

“And now your servant says, ‘May the word of my lord the king secure my inheritance, for my lord the king is like an angel of God in discerning good and evil. May the Lord your God be with you.’”

Then the king said to the woman, “Don’t keep from me the answer to what I am going to ask you.”

“Let my lord the king speak,” the woman said.

The king asked, “Isn’t the hand of Joab with you in all this?”

The woman answered, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right or to the left from anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who instructed me to do this and who put all these words into the mouth of your servant. Your servant Joab did this to change the present situation. My lord has wisdom like that of an angel of God—he knows everything that happens in the land.”

The king said to Joab, “Very well, I will do it. Go, bring back the young man Absalom.”

Joab fell with his face to the ground to pay him honor, and he blessed the king. Joab said,

“Today your servant knows that he has found favor in your eyes, my lord the king, because the king has granted his servant’s request.”

Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king. (New International Version)

By Bible Art

Absalom’s sister, Tamar, was sexually assaulted by their half-brother Amnon. As a result, Absalom brought Tamar to live in his house, because she had become a desolate woman.

When their father, King David, heard all this, he was, of course, furious; yet, he did nothing. And Absalom never talked to Amnon again; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.

For two years, Abasalom stewed on the terrible event of his sister’s assault. When the man’s bitterness came to it’s full poison, Abasalom created a ruse in order to kill Amnon. And the murderous plot was successful.

Then, Absalom fled and went to Geshur (north of Israel, in present day Syria) and stayed there three years. King David longed to go to Absalom, but he never did, nor did he do anything, either good or bad.

All of that stuff is what led up to today’s story about bringing Absalom back. When I was younger, I would read these stories of David and his sons and scratch my head as to why a guy that’s so wise to so many things seems stupid when it comes to his own family.

And then I became a father myself, with grown adult children. Now, I understand David’s actions and in-actions. I get it. When it comes to being a parent of adult kids, there is a very different perspective. It’s an outlook that’s hard to communicate and put into words.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s how God looks at us.

The nearest I can get to describing it, is that the sense of awe and wonder at that little baby being born never quite goes away.

The incredible and seemingly miraculous thing we call childbirth creates a view that this human being is so special, there is always hope they will become a little child again, that is, not literally, but in the sense of being yet again humble, right, good, and endearing – that the relational value will return.

In this sense, a parent never loses hope. And I think that is something of what King David was experiencing with his own adult children. What’s more, it seems that God has this unfailing love for us that continually longs for humanity to come back to the divine relationship.

God appears in Holy Scripture as this heavenly Father (and Mother) who is slow to judgment and long on steadfast love and covenant loyalty. The Lord is not slow in keeping promises or doing what is right. Rather, God is patiently waiting for humans to come to repentance and faith.

Admittedly, there is the sense that King David seems unreasonable, that he was unwilling to do something about his adult children’s shenanigans. Yet, there is also this sense of longing, of King David knowing the potential of his children, and holding out the hope that they will live into who they were created to be on this earth.

I definitely don’t think David always got it right. But he also didn’t always get it wrong, either. Which is pretty darned close to how every parent is doing, if we are honest about it. So, here is a blessing for parents of adult children:

May the Lord bless your adult children with the gift of the Holy Spirit. May they be filled with faith, hope, love, peace, truth, and spiritual power, so that they may be blessed and be a blessing to others.

And may God guide parents everywhere with discernment and wisdom, so that everything they do will come from the place of grace, truth, and love. Amen.