Tag: emotional healing

A Lot of Hurting, Touching, and Healing (Luke 6:12-19)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jesus calls his twelve disciples, by Sadao Watanabe

One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: Simon (whom he named Peter), his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called the Zealot, Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.

He went down with them and stood on a level place. A large crowd of his disciples was there and a great number of people from all over Judea, from Jerusalem, and from the coastal region around Tyre and Sidon, who had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those troubled by impure spirits were cured, and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all. (New International Version)

Pain is a lot

Touch is important. Humanity needs touch. It’s also one of those things that we likely take for granted. 

Philip Yancey and Dr. Paul Brand co-authored a book, originally published in 1982, entitled “Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants.” It’s largely a biography of Dr. Brand, who pioneered both the diagnosis and prognosis of leprosy. 

He discovered that leprosy occurs because of a lack of feeling – an inability to sense touch. The delicate nerve endings we all have in our fingers and toes are numb to the leper. The lack of sensing pain in the extremities leads to small cuts or injuries, which would be immediately treated by someone who feels pain, becoming gangrene with the losing of fingers and toes.

The ability to feel, to reach out and touch another person, is vitally important to our spiritual and emotional lives. Without touch, the calloused heart and unfeeling soul does not realize the damage that is being done to it.           

One of the gifts we have as people is the ability to feel guilt, sorrow, disappointment, and pain – to be touched mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – as well as physically. And in our ability to feel pain, it brings about attention to prayer and addressing the situation.

Many people are troubled in either mind or spirit, or experience chronic ailments of the body, day in and day out. They just want relief, to be at peace in both body and soul.

Jesus prays… a lot

In today’s Gospel lesson, Luke puts together two stories: one of Jesus choosing and calling his twelve disciples; and then one of Jesus being among the people and healing them of their diseases and their troubles. Let’s observe the relationship between them.

Jesus often withdrew to lonely, isolated places in order to pray (Luke 5:16). On this particular occasion, he went out and spent the entire night in prayer to God. When morning came, we discover the reason for the all-night prayer meeting: Christ chose the people who would be closest to him in his earthly ministry. He called the twelve to follow him and be his disciples.

I find it highly instructive that Jesus spent so much time in prayer before making such big decisions about his ministry. If anyone could size up somebody as a potential follower, it seems to me it would be Jesus. And yet, there was a lot of deliberation and interaction with the Father. Since the Lord Jesus found it necessary to pray with an extending time, and consult with the heavenly Father, I would say that our own prayer life and reaching out to consult and collaborate could probably use an upgrade.

Jesus heals… a lot of people

Then, Jesus and his disciples, together enter the fray of the crowd. And the disciples get their first lesson in following Jesus: Christ-centered ministry is about healing – it’s about restoring people to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Healing is at the heart of all real Christian ministry. And healing is really what everyone is to be about, whether they identify as Christian, or not. To be healed is to experience a holistic restoration of body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

Touch is a big part of healing. Physical touch is important, and it’s powerful. Sometimes, bodily healing is needed because a person has been physically abused, or experienced some sort of physical trauma. And it can be very difficult to have others touch them, after such experiences. Yet, part of the healing will be in experiencing redemptive touch – either by surgeons, family, friends, or trusted others. The answer to bad touch and bad pain is to experience good touch and the good pain of healing.

Non-physical touch is no less important. And, I believe, Jesus understood this perhaps more than most. He routinely “touched” people in ways that changed their lives. Christ sought to not only bring physical healing, but also to heal the mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds.

Jesus touches… a lot of lives

Jesus touched a lot of lives through his healing ministry:

  • In healing lepers of their disease, Christ made sure that they were no longer ostracized from the community but were restored to full function in society.
  • In curing persons demonized and tormented by evil spirits, Jesus was concerned to restore them to their right mind and ensure they were included as members of society, as well as restored to their families.
  • In bringing salvation from guilt and shame, Jesus brought reconciliation and restoration between God and sinners.
  • In all his relational interactions, Jesus was intentional about making connections to the lonely and the lost, to those who were emotionally cut off from the mass of society.

So, whenever we feel pain – whether in body, mind, emotion, or spirit – this experience lets us know that we need to pay attention to something. As we do that, it can drive us to the source of healing, wholeness, and restoration. We go to prayer – not out of duty – but because we are convinced that there are divine resources only God can provide.

And we can come, again and again, finding the grace to help us in our time of need. For God’s mercy is inexhaustible; the grace of God will never run out or run dry.

Therefore, let followers of Jesus everywhere be aqueducts of grace, angels of mercy, and agents of healing in a world which so desperately needs the love, care, and attention we can give them.

May God the Father bless you; God the Son heal you; and God the Holy Spirit give you strength. May God the holy and undivided Trinity guard your body, save your soul, protect your mind, and bring you safely to his heavenly country; where he lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.

Expressing Grief (Lamentations 3:55-66)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
An engraving of the prophet Jeremiah lamenting, 1937

I called on your name, Lord,
    from the depths of the pit.
You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
    to my cry for relief.”
You came near when I called you,
    and you said, “Do not fear.”

You, Lord, took up my case;
    you redeemed my life.
Lord, you have seen the wrong done to me.
    Uphold my cause!
You have seen the depth of their vengeance,
    all their plots against me.

Lord, you have heard their insults,
    all their plots against me—
what my enemies whisper and mutter
    against me all day long.
Look at them! Sitting or standing,
    they mock me in their songs.

Pay them back what they deserve, Lord,
    for what their hands have done.
Put a veil over their hearts,
    and may your curse be on them!
Pursue them in anger and destroy them
    from under the heavens of the Lord. (New International Version)

Over the years of ministry, I’ve encountered a host of confessing Christians who did not know the book of Lamentations even existed in the Bible. Even more people, I have discovered, are unfamiliar with the word “lament.”

This anecdotal evidence is quite telling: It tells me that a large chunk of people in society don’t know what to do with themselves whenever they experience or encounter trauma, abuse, unwanted circumstances, death, or overwhelming situations.

It’s no wonder that so many of us are anxious, depressed, and emotionally struggling. To be overwhelmed means that we don’t have enough internal resources to match what’s going on with us externally. Being overwhelmed means being devastated or overpowered by several circumstances at once; and experiencing several emotions at once, including the feeling of estrangement from God and/or others.

The book of Lamentations is the prophet Jeremiah’s public expression of grief over the destruction of his home city of Jerusalem. King Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonian army invaded the land, broke down the city walls, razed the temple, killed many people, and took most of the rest into captivity. The experience, along with the atrocities committed, were overwhelming.

On top of all that, Jeremiah had proclaimed a message of judgment, prophesying what would happen – and it did. And after the Babylonians took over, the remaining people put much of their misplaced anger and grief on Jeremiah, making his situation even worse.

Lamentations of Jeremiah, by Marc Chagall, 1956

What would you do if you were Jeremiah?

In whatever way you might respond, I believe Jeremiah did precisely what was most needed: He called on the name of the Lord, he expressed his lament, and it was all more than a private affair – because we are able to still read his lamentation all these many centuries later.

To lament is to express our feelings and story of grief to another. Without doing so, we are spiritually and emotionally stuck. And if we remain stuck for too long, our grief comes out sideways, either hurting others or ourselves.

The general populace of the people didn’t deal with their grief, and didn’t lament their loss. Instead, they mocked Jeremiah, plotted against him, and insulted him. That’s what happens when we don’t grieve and lament.

Jeremiah, however, left the people in God’s hands, and didn’t take matters into his own hands. He did what he was supposed to do instead of lashing out on others: Crafted this book of Lamentations, which we have access to, and can read.

So, why don’t we?

There’s lots of reasons we don’t examine the book of Lamentations (and explore our own lament). The primary reason is fear:

  • Fear of our own emotions – getting lost in them and afraid we’ll never get out of them – so we construct elaborate thoughts and words of positivity, believing that it will shoo the difficult feelings away. But the truth is, it won’t. It only makes it worse. We can choose to courageously tell our story, to whomever we want, in as much or as little detail as we want.
  • Fear of getting hurt. We’ve already experienced a level of hurt we never thought was possible. It’s only human to want to keep as far away from hurt as we can. So, we keep tight-lipped, tell others that we’re fine (when we’re not), all in the belief that if we can shut others out, we can keep any more hurt from touching us. The problem is that when we do that, we also keep the love out that could and would come to us.
  • Fear of connection. Examining myself and exploring relationships with others sounds too risky. It’s fraught with emotion. Besides, we might reason, I don’t want to put my burdens onto someone else. So, we don’t face our grief. The feelings get buried and, over time, become gangrene of the soul, poisoning us. Like a nasty boil, our grief needs to be lanced, and plenty of peroxide put on the wound. And the right medicine is doing what Jeremiah did: lament our loss.
  • Fear of losing control. I might cry in front of others. I may get really angry and yell. I could go absolutely ape and do weird stuff around people. If I open up, it will be a Pandora’s box of releasing myself. In reality, this is a fear of vulnerability, of letting others see the true self. And since we may not like our true self to begin with, this makes things quite complicated. However, there is not another way. Yet, if we go down the narrow path of lament, we will find many comforters who are able to empathize with us in our suffering.

“Sometimes you have to get your behind in the past before you can put your past behind you.”

Mit Tdrahrhe

The place to begin is in offering our feelings of grief, and our emotional words of lament, to the God who is always ready and available to hear it. And, from there, we reach out to a trusted friend, relative, or faith leader and tell them our story. Eventually, we discover enough healing that we can then comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received. (2 Corinthians 1:3-11)

You can do this.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of comfort: Deal graciously, we pray, with all who mourn; that, casting all their care on you, they may know the consolation of your love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Dealing with Depression (1 Kings 19:9-18)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

There he went into a cave and spent the night.

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.” (New International Version)

The prophet Elijah was downright exhausted – so much so, that he became debilitatingly depressed.

After being alone for long stretches of time, always vigilant to watch out for those who sought his life, experiencing an intense victory against some truly evil folks, and then back to being on high alert, Elijah was done.

Depression is real. It isn’t limited to a certain personality trait, and it isn’t in itself sin. It just is. More than half of people in the United States with serious depression, and even more worldwide, do not receive or will not get adequate help. 

So, if you are reading this as a depressed person, or are wondering how to help someone you care for who is depressed, it is imperative that you get help immediately. A blog post on such an important subject can really only encourage you, and somehow inspire you, to take the brave and bold step of seeking the assistance you need. 

Severe depression is profoundly crippling and is as important to deal with as prostate cancer; both can kill you on the inside even though no one knows on the outside.

I myself have experienced two major depressions in the course of my life. I’ve also had a few kidney stones. I’m told the pain of a kidney stone is like childbirth.  I don’t know about the childbirth thing, but I do know that I would rather experience a dozen kidney stones, at once, than go through another severe depression. I got help, and it changed my life. 

Depression is exactly what the name implies: a depressing or a stuffing of feelings – particularly the emotion of anger. I was so good at packing down my emotions that one night, many years ago when our neighbor had a blow-out of a party at 2am in the morning, I actually felt no anger. Just so you know: that’s not healthy. I had an anger problem. Not the kind where you explode, but just the opposite – the kind where you stuff every negative feeling in the book.

Recovery for me looked a lot like what Elijah experienced. I needed to acknowledge what was actually inside of me and begin sitting with those unwanted emotions. And I need to tell you that what was inside me wasn’t at all pretty. 

Like a wound that needs peroxide, dealing with depression hurt like hell. But I couldn’t heal without it. I couldn’t go around it, or avoid it; I had to go through it. Eventually, I learned to not only identify my feelings, but to own them and take charge of them. 

I discovered I could choose to say how I feel without apology, and I could say it all in a way that helped others, as well as myself. Holy Scripture calls it speaking the truth in love.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Psalm 32:8, NIV

Waiting for the perfect time to deal with depression will only result in deeper despondency. You are not responsible for what others may say or do, and you cannot control other people’s decisions and responses to you – trying to do so is manipulative and only creates more problems. 

Elijah wasn’t alone in dealing with depression. David and Jeremiah went through some very difficult days of being depressed. Even Jesus became stressed and despondent. But none of them stayed there, and their experiences changed not only themselves but readers of God’s Word throughout history. 

It only makes sense to tell a trusted spiritual leader, friend, or relative how you are really feeling. One does not crawl out of the abyss of darkness that is depression without some sage people surrounding the person. They can offer wise counsel, focused prayer, and careful application of Scripture. 

This is one reason why church ministry exists, so let the church do its redemptive work. So, may the clouds roll away into the hope of a new tomorrow.

Almighty God, whose Son took upon himself the afflictions of your people: Regard with your tender compassion those suffering from depression; bear their sorrows and their care; supply all their needs; help them to put their whole trust and confidence in you; and restore them to strength of mind and cheerfulness of spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

On Divorce (Matthew 19:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (New International Version)

It’s interesting that the compilers of the Revised Common Lectionary chose this Gospel lesson the day after Valentine’s Day. Not sure I would do that, but here we are, so let’s deal with it….

I grew up in an era in which not many couples divorced. Frankly, that probably was a bad thing, because there was plenty of hanky-panky going on, and far too much domestic violence that didn’t get dealt with. Women, mostly, tended to put up with an awful lot from abusive men.

Today, of course, divorce is common. And that’s probably a bad thing, too. A whole lot of couples aren’t working through their communication issues – and that’s because many individual persons have done precious little in addressing their own background experiences of trauma and/or abuse.

In short, divorce is not the ideal – but it’s necessary. And Jesus understood this more than most people of his day. It isn’t supposed to be this way, all this interpersonal crud, heartache, and pain. Yet here we are, having to navigate broken relationships, busted marriages, and bewildered children.

No married couple, on their wedding day, anticipates a divorce in their future. Nobody anticipates having a debilitating illness or to be locked into poverty. Instead, we are optimistic, believing that we’ll fall more on the side of better than worse, richer than poorer, healthier than sick, and cherishing the other more than irked by them.

As of this writing, my dear wife and I have been married nearly 38 years. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into being together for all that time. We have weathered many experiences with one another. Yet, I’m under no illusions; there’s nothing particularly special about me or my spouse. There are plenty of couples who have put in as much work as we have, and their marriages still dissolved in an ocean of disappointment.

I’d like to think I am not speaking as one above others, but as a fellow guy just trying to do his best with what he currently knows – and grateful that I have a partner and friend who sticks with me and lives life alongside me.

The last thing any divorced folks need is a bunch of condescending gobbledygook from a pious simpleton who likely doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on.

God heals the brokenhearted
    and bandages their wounds.

Psalm 147:3, CEB

The truth is that we all need to continually come back to what Jesus encouraged us to do: Avoid hardness of heart, embrace humility, and seek oneness and unity above all else. A marriage that has two people living under the same roof like roommates, isn’t really a marriage, at all; they may have the legal document to prove it, but they don’t have the relational practices to back it up.

Divorce is a major change of life. Put that together with the reality that life is always progressing and never stays the same, we all undergo many new beginnings throughout the course of our lives. 

Thankfully, there is another reality that will forever stay the same: You were created in the image of God, both male and female, and that divine likeness can never be taken from you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, God is with us. One is never outside the Lord’s reach.

The self-righteous person who belittles any and all divorcees is unaware that even God has experienced divorce and knows precisely what it feels like:

I [God] gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery. Because Israel’s immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood. (Jeremiah 3:8-9, NIV)

Perhaps your frame of mind right now is that you can barely see beyond today and cannot even imagine what will happen tomorrow. No matter the circumstance, regardless of who you are, where you have been, or where you are going, there is a God who exists on heaven and earth who completely knows and understands your situation. 

And the Lord stands ready to help you begin again and start something new.

Where hearts are broken, grant your healing.
Where trust is eroded, restore good faith.
Where bitterness has taken root, plant seeds of forgiveness.
Do not let anger destroy us, O God,
but teach us to love as Christ loved us. Amen.