Tag: communication

“But…!”

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog5 Comments

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:17-18, NIV)

“…you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.” Jesus (Matthew 15:6)

In talking with other so-called “Christians” who don’t live in Minneapolis or Minnesota about events in my home of the Twin Cities, I have found a disturbing trend among many of them.

Those who support the Trump administration and I.C.E. agent activity – of whom I personally know several – typically begin their responses to me with saying things such as: “Well, I don’t condone all of the tactics of I.C.E., but…”

Then they drone on, giving an apologetic for the murders and violence in Minnesota by blaming the protesters and/or the local leadership, all the while referring to them as “rioters.”

In the last several years, I have personally attempted to remove the word “but” from my vocabulary as much as possible. The reason I do this is that:

The use of “but” in a sentence is a way of invalidating everything that was said in the first part of the statement.

I would conjecture that the reason for even making a prefacing comment before using the word “but” is to try and soften what the person really wants to say and emphasize. In other words, it’s a way of trying to appear somewhat empathetic or compassionate, so that the other person will listen. That’s why I try and no longer use the word “but.”

In the past couple of years, I’ve even began calling out people who use this type of tactic with the word “but.” Instead of getting into an argumentative discussion (which is nearly always what happens when the “but” language is employed), I simply respond to the person, “No ‘buts’ in the urinal,” and ask them to reframe their statement without using the word.

I grew up in the era before public smoking bans. When I was a little kid, I remember smokers being everywhere in public, including restaurants. Typically, there was cigarette smoke just about everywhere – which also created a problem with cigarette butts.

Men’s public bathrooms were notorious for having cigarette butts in the urinals. Public places that had chronic problems with this practice would often put signs above the urinals stating, “NO BUTTS IN THE URINAL.”

Those signs always made me laugh hilariously because, well, I was a little boy and I took the message quite literally. After all, I was in a bathroom! (Even to this day, I laugh out loud anytime I see a sign while driving past a business which says, “Parking In Rear”).

I hope you get my point, as uncouth as it may be. There is no place for using the word “but” in a discussion with anyone, if you intend on simply invalidating what another has said or believes.

So, I have a real problem with the disingenuousness and attempted manipulation of much of the use of the word “but” with “Christians” whose intent is to invalidate my thought and practice of speaking and writing against the presence of I.C.E. in Minnesota, protesting their violence and perpetual lies, and constantly agitating for people to speak and act humanely.

Out of all the Old Testament prophets, perhaps Jeremiah had the worst problem with the “but” people. After all, such persons have always existed throughout history.

The prophet Jeremiah spoke out and against the popular notion that one could worship God and offer the proper sacrifices, but at the same time, do whatever the heck you want to do – including worship of other gods, and giving the shaft to the needy through terrible injustices.

“‘Hear the word of the Lord, all you people of Judah who come through these gates to worship the Lord. This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Reform your ways and your actions, and I will let you live in this place. Do not trust in deceptive words and say, “This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord!” If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place, in the land I gave your ancestors for ever and ever. But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless.” (Jeremiah 7:2-8, NIV)

According to the present Trump administration, the prophet Jeremiah would be labeled as a “domestic terrorist” for speaking out against the powers that be, and for prophesying judgment upon them for lying words and sacrilegious ways. He would receive that moniker because, in their understanding, he would be getting in the way of the kingdom’s operations.

As for me, because I have supposedly impeded I.C.E. operations in my own community through both word and action (according to their definition), I and my compassionate peace-loving family fits their understanding of “domestic terrorists,” even though we have done everything according to our limited abilities to practice de-escalation tactics, provide spiritual care to protesters and immigrants, and uphold the words and ways of Jesus, of whom we seek to follow with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

It is high time to dispense with the word “but” in our speech, and embrace the word “and.” I have a few suggestive examples:

“Even though we do not agree, I am sorry this has happened, and I grieve with you over these recent tragic deaths.”

“Although we are at loggerheads with each other, I too, believe that human life is sacred, and I will work toward peace and harmony in my community.”

“Yes, we disagree about many things, and I am here to listen and to seek to understand what you believe and why it is important to you.”

“And tell me more about that…”

“And I care about what happens to all of us in this world.”

“And I love you, despite the fact we aren’t on the same page about this.”

These are statements I long to hear people of faith say to each other… I’m still waiting… and so I’m still presently living with profound sadness in a world in which it is imperative that Christians put love where love is not.

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart – especially those in Minneapolis who are both resident and non-resident – so that barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; that our divisions being healed, we may live in justice and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Skilled Work (1 Kings 5:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
King Solomon and King Hiram, by Unknown artist

Because King Hiram of Tyre was loyal to David throughout his rule, Hiram sent his servants to Solomon when he heard that Solomon had become king after his father. Solomon sent the following message to Hiram: 

“You know that my father David wasn’t able to build a temple for the name of the Lord my God. This was because of the enemies that fought him on all sides until the Lord put them under the soles of his feet. Now the Lord my God has given me peace on every side, without enemies or misfortune. So I’m planning to build a temple for the name of the Lord my God, just as the Lord indicated to my father David, ‘I will give you a son to follow you on your throne. He will build the temple for my name.’ Now give the order and have the cedars of Lebanon cut down for me. My servants will work with your servants. I’ll pay your servants whatever price you set, because you know we have no one here who is skilled in cutting wood like the Sidonians.”

Hiram was thrilled when he heard Solomon’s message. He said, “Today the Lord is blessed because he has given David a wise son who is in charge of this great people.” Hiram sent word back to Solomon:

“I have heard your message to me. I will do as you wish with the cedar and pinewood. My servants will bring the wood down the Lebanon Mountains to the sea. I’ll make rafts out of them and float them on the sea to the place you specify. There I’ll dismantle them, and you can carry them away. Now, as for what you must do for me in return, I ask you to provide for my royal house.”

So Hiram gave Solomon all the cedar and pinewood that he wanted. In return, Solomon gave an annual gift to Hiram of twenty thousand kors [2,000 tons] of wheat to eat, and twenty thousand kors [4,000 liters] of pure oil for his palace use. Now the Lord made Solomon wise, just as he had promised. Solomon and Hiram made a covenant and had peace. (Common English Bible)

King Solomon was granted by God all the wisdom necessary to rule over Israel and Judah (1 Kings 3:1-15). Early in his reign, he began the construction of a permanent Temple in Jerusalem – a task that was originally in the heart of his father King David.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is the beginning of the account of Solomon’s grand building project. It focuses on the assistance offered by King Hiram of Tyre.

Skilled Leaders

The city of Tyre was a major port in Lebanon. The cedar trees of Lebanon were renowned in the ancient world as being large and strong. Solomon – always the savvy one in knowing where to find the best of the best – looked to King Hiram for the cedar logs needed for building the Temple.

What’s more, Solomon asked Hiram for the builders to help in construction of God’s Temple. King Solomon not only had a broad knowledge of just about everything in creation, but he also understood human nature. He named the reality that the Sidonians were the best at handling their exceptional lumber.

Furthermore, Solomon was clear about the reason for the ambitious building project of the Temple. He believed that the task of erecting the Temple was divinely given to him. Solomon therefore trusted God to help him complete the job.

As a result, the two kings negotiated a treaty in which Hiram provided the lumber and the lumbermen, with Solomon providing grain and olive oil for Hiram’s court. In recounting this, the editor of Kings emphasized Solomon’s wisdom, and the peaceful relations that Jerusalem and Tyre enjoyed.

Perhaps all of this rehashing of an old agreement between a couple of ancient kings seems irrelevant to the modern and post-modern person. Yet, it is a classic example of the realities concerning communication and theology.

Skilled Communication

Hiram had the resources for building, and the skilled builders; Solomon had the money, goods, and administrative knowledge to make their relationship a mutually beneficial one.

Each king negotiated successfully, namely because there was no disadvantage in their treaty relationship. The two nations balanced one another by offering it’s advantages to the other.

Solomon and Hiram came to a genuine win-win agreement. Each of them stated exactly what they wanted and what they would provide, without apology. Both kings promoted their own interests while showing concern for the other’s interests, as well.

The success of their deal was based on mutual trust, which began years earlier with King David.

Skilled Theology

Today’s narrative is more than an example of how to negotiate a deal. It fits into a larger narrative of what God was doing with the nation of Israel. Central to every biblical story is God, who is both object and subject of Holy Scripture.

The Lord revealed a slow and unfolding drama of redemption for people. The construction of the Temple was a prominent way of God revealing divine mercy to the people. It’s central place at the highest point in Jerusalem communicated that the Lord is in the middle of everything, and high above it all.

And the way in which Solomon went about constructing the Jewish Temple included non-Jewish builders. God, through divine sovereignty and grace, led Gentiles to hob-nob with Jews who worship Yahweh, and to thus experience a glimpse of the Lord through the people and the place.

Indeed, all things work together for good to those who love God. (Romans 8:28)

Gracious God, I ask that your love and goodness will have its way for all those who seek to live according to justice and righteousness. You are full of steadfast in love and abounding in mercy. Help me accept your love and mercy. May it flow powerfully in me, and through me, to your glory and honor. Amen.

Effective Communication (Acts 17:16-31)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
St. Paul preaching at the Areopagus in Athens, by Kennedy A. Paizs

While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was deeply troubled by all the idols he saw everywhere in the city. He went to the synagogue to reason with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and he spoke daily in the public square to all who happened to be there.

He also had a debate with some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. When he told them about Jesus and his resurrection, they said, “What’s this babbler trying to say with these strange ideas he’s picked up?” Others said, “He seems to be preaching about some foreign gods.”

Then they took him to the high council of the city. “Come and tell us about this new teaching,” they said. “You are saying some rather strange things, and we want to know what it’s all about.” (It should be explained that all the Athenians as well as the foreigners in Athens seemed to spend all their time discussing the latest ideas.)

So Paul, standing before the council, addressed them as follows: “Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious in every way, for as I was walking along I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about.

“He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need. From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

“His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ And since this is true, we shouldn’t think of God as an idol designed by craftsmen from gold or silver or stone.

“God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead.” (New Living Translation)

Ancient ruins of Athens, Greece

The city of Athens was a major intellectual center in the ancient world. Ideas, philosophy, reason, rhetoric, and debate were standard fare amongst the citizens. At the time of the Apostle Paul’s arrival in the city, Greece knew next to nothing about Christianity.

Paul’s response to what he saw and felt in the city dictated what he did and said. And those words were wise and impactful for the people of Athens. The Apostle’s interaction with the philosophers was like a seminar in how to communicate with folks who believe and live very differently than ourselves.

Observation

Paul entered the city and made a simple observation: Athens is full of idols. Out of all the observations Paul could have made, this one would not likely be made by most people visiting the city. Athens was a glorious place with its unparalleled architecture. The Acropolis and the Agora were resplendent with the arts and democracy.

For all its physical beauty and brilliance, the one thing Paul homed-in on was the idols. This would have struck many folks as odd – something like focusing on the dog collar instead of the dog. Yet, Paul was using more than his physical eyes – his spiritual sight was making a big observation – that Athens was very much a religious place.

Feeling

The Apostle felt troubled and distressed. Paul was disturbed down deep in his gut with the spiritual state of this renowned city-state. The sheer volume of idols and the practice of idolatry did not sit well with him. He experienced feelings of pity mixed with anger.

Paul handled his emotions well. By freely acknowledging them, he was then able to choose his response. Had he not done so, it’s likely Paul might have gone on some frustrating tirade, thereby never truly connecting relationally with the people. There’s nothing wrong with being irritated or exasperated; it’s what we do with those feelings that’s important.

Need

Emotions, not thoughts, move us to act. Paul knew why he was feeling disturbed, and decided not to stuff those feelings. Instead, he stepped out and addressed the great need he was observing.

Paul decided to meet the Athenians on their turf and on their level by reasoning with them every day in the great buildings and open spaces of the city.

While in Athens, it seems that Paul, understandably, utilized the Socratic method of dialogue – involving questions and answers. It’s impressive that throughout the Acts of the Apostles, Paul demonstrated a deft ability to communicate and connect with a broad range of people.

Appeal

Paul wasn’t interacting and dialoging just for the fun of it; he wanted to make an appeal, a request for people to seriously consider the Christian good news of Jesus Christ’s resurrection as a viable philosophy of life. He made a widespread appeal to Jews, Greeks, and passers-by, as well as philosophers.

Since the massive intellect of Paul could handle any reasoned debate, he was invited to the Areopagus, which was the place where the best-of-the-best carried-on their discussions.

Paul’s address to them was incredibly cogent and well-reasoned – finding common ground from which to debate. While doing so, he maintained outward grace amidst his inward disturbance.

Conclusion

The late British exegete, John R.W. Stott, reflected on today’s New Testament lesson and gave us words which are still relevant for us in these contemporary times:

“Why is it that, in spite of the great needs and opportunities of our day, the church slumbers peacefully on, and that so many Christians are deaf to Christ’s commission, and dumb with tongues-tied in testimony? The major reason is this: We do not speak as Paul spoke because we do not feel as Paul felt. We have never had his indignation. Divine jealousy has not stirred within us. We constantly pray, ‘Hallowed be Thy Name,’ yet we do not seem to mean it… Paul saw people created in the image and likeness of God giving to idols the homage which was due to God alone… and he was deeply pained by it.”

May the good news of Jesus Christ be so pressed into our minds, hearts, and guts that what comes out of us is deep compassion, wise dialogue, and an effective ministry of communication with others. Amen.

Stop and Listen (Judges 2:16-23)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Yahweh raised up judges, who saved them out of the hand of those who plundered them. Yet they didn’t listen to their judges; for they prostituted themselves to other gods, and bowed themselves down to them. They quickly turned away from the way in which their fathers walked, obeying Yahweh’s commandments. They didn’t do so. 

When Yahweh raised up judges for them, then Yahweh was with the judge, and saved them out of the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge; for it grieved Yahweh because of their groaning by reason of those who oppressed them and troubled them. 

But when the judge was dead, they turned back, and dealt more corruptly than their fathers in following other gods to serve them and to bow down to them. They didn’t cease what they were doing, or give up their stubborn ways. 

Yahweh’s anger burned against Israel; and he said, “Because this nation transgressed my covenant which I commanded their fathers, and has not listened to my voice, I also will no longer drive out any of the nations that Joshua left when he died from before them; that by them I may test Israel, to see if they will keep Yahweh’s way to walk therein, as their fathers kept it, or not.” So Yahweh left those nations, without driving them out hastily. He didn’t deliver them into Joshua’s hand. (World English Bible)

Listening seems to be a lost art and a forgotten skill. Genuine focused attention on another person through careful listening requires a lot of practice. Maybe that’s one reason there is so little authentic hearing these days – it’s just so doggone hard. Throw into the mix that a lot of folks like hearing their own voice, and you have a recipe for poor communication.

God is good at everything, especially listening. The Lord is the Master Listener. In fact, God is so good at listening, that divine ears hear the prayers of people all over the world. The same careful attention is given to both the little girl in the West who intercedes for her parents and teddy bear at night, as well as halfway around the world with the national leader who requests wisdom for decisions in a heated meeting.

The Lord God Almighty is gracious, merciful, and kind, hearing us when we call, and listening when we our hearts long for the divine. God always bends low in a posture of listening to all creation.

As creatures in the image of God, we were meant from the very beginning of creation to listen well. Yet, ever since humanity fell into disobedience, people have the tendency to talk more than they listen; and to sometimes refuse to hear what another is saying. There are even those who ignore God’s speech.

The ancient Israelites in the book of Judges were fickle in their attention to God. When things were bad, they cried out to the Lord. Because God attentively listens, they were heard, and a merciful divine response came. However, when things were better, the people went about their business, forgot about God’s deliverance, and stopped listening.

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,
    and the complacency of fools will destroy them;
but whoever listens to me will live in safety
    and be at ease, without fear of harm. (Proverbs 1:32-33, NIV)

God sent judges, rulers, and leaders, to the people for their own welfare. But instead of graciously receiving this gift of leadership from God, the people were quick to be unfaithful; they refused to listen to the divinely sent judges.

Listening, really listening with focused attention, was not a high value to the people. They talked and talked, incessantly droning on, and so could not hear what God through the divinely appointed rulers was saying.

We must learn to listen well because God listens well. We need to pay attention and hear because we are designed by our Creator to do so.

Perhaps our society would not be so perpetually upset and polarized if we would just take the time to notice and receive advice through a posture of humble hearing.

Try this little exercise of listening: Take just ten minutes and do not talk, read, check your phone, or do anything but listen to the sounds around you…. What do you hear?… What do you think God is saying to you through those sounds?… How will you respond?

Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity, allowing us to hear the still small voice of God. Sound is amplified through silence.

If we desire a clear word from the Lord, then stillness and silence are the spiritual practices that allow it to happen. Life’s most precious moments are not always loud or uproarious; silence and stillness have their own virtues which connect us with the divine.

Never underestimate the power of doing nothing, and simple listening.

God of all creation, you have made me with two ears for listening. Help me to so hear and distinguish you through creation, and the voices of others, so that I will follow Christ with confidence in my daily life.

Almighty and everlasting God, you are always more ready to hear than we to pray, and to give more than we either desire or deserve. Pour upon us the abundance of your mercy, forgiving us those things of which our conscience is afraid, and giving us those good things for which we are not worthy to ask, except through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.