Tag: bitterness

A Spiritual Check-Up (2 Corinthians 13:5-10)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. As you test yourselves, I hope you will recognize that we have not failed the test of apostolic authority.

We pray to God that you will not do what is wrong by refusing our correction. I hope we won’t need to demonstrate our authority when we arrive. Do the right thing before we come—even if that makes it look like we have failed to demonstrate our authority. For we cannot oppose the truth, but must always stand for the truth. We are glad to seem weak if it helps show that you are actually strong. We pray that you will become mature.

I am writing this to you before I come, hoping that I won’t need to deal severely with you when I do come. For I want to use the authority the Lord has given me to strengthen you, not to tear you down. (New Living Translation)

God is concerned about our spiritual health and vitality. And so, it’s important that we have regular spiritual check-ups and tests to evaluate the vitality of our faith. If we are spiritually sick or debilitated, the Lord seeks to restore us back to health.

In the Gospels, whenever Jesus miraculously healed a person, it was for far more than taking away a disease or correcting a disability. The Lord sought to make them well in order to restore a person’s life by including them in the community. For example:

  • Leprosy put a person on the outside, both literally and relationally. Ceasing to be a leper meant that a person now had no obstacles to full participation in communal life.
  • Blindness reduced a person to being a beggar in order to survive. Having sight restored meant that the person can now work with others, make a living, and contribute to the needs of others.
  • Incarceration was (and still is) a complete removal of a person from society. Being in prison severs many human connections. Release from jail opens the way to reconnection and an opportunity to have a different way of being with others.
  • Poverty encumbers a person and weighs them down so heavily that it limits their ability to function socially and relationally. Without poverty, a person is able to establish healthy patterns of giving and receiving within the community.

Those who are physically whole, mentally sharp, emotionally satisfied, and spiritually redeemed are free of obstacles and impediments to communal life.

So, it is a travesty whenever the people who enjoy full inclusion in the community, turn around and separate themselves, keeping relational distance from certain persons, and do not participate in the common good of all. They makes themselves sick and weaken their faith because of their lifestyle.

The type of spiritual examination of faith the Apostle Paul was talking about was not to obsess over whether one is a true believer, or not. He was referring to the person who claims faith yet maintains separation from others. In other words, to exclude others is the kind of behavior that unbelievers do, not Christians.

Yet, there are many sections of Christianity and entire Protestant denominations who pride themselves on such separation. They believe they’re being holy and keeping themselves from impurity. However, far too many of them are really putting a sanctified spin on their own sinful predilections to avoid people they don’t like.

Paul has no tolerance for calling exclusion of others “holiness” and naming the maintenance of an insider/outsider status as “sanctification.” The Apostle knew this was all poppycock and wanted nothing to do with it.

Christ didn’t die on a cruel cross, take away the obstacles to faith, open the way to know God, and create peace through his blood for a pack of so-called “Christians” to then erect imaginary concrete border walls to keep others out of Christian community and fellowship.

In God’s upside-down kingdom, the privileged insiders are really the outsiders; and the underprivileged outsiders are actually the insiders.

The privileged believers are just as sick as the leper, the blind, the poor, and the prisoner; and just as much in need of restoration. The path to their inclusion is solidarity with the entire community of the redeemed – rather than picking and choosing who is in and who is out.

All this, of course, is another way of stating that Christianity is as beset with cliques as anywhere else – with individual believers, local churches, and particular traditions following their pet theologians and pastors and not associating with others who follow a different set of folks.

The ancient Corinthian church was a train wreck of opposing groups and cliques. The Apostle Paul had had enough of it and called the people to do some serious self-examination. And he was careful not to degrade or discourage them but to try and encourage the church to tap into the Christ which dwells within them.

Spiritual health and restoration, for Paul, meant specific behaviors which intentionally include people. To be inclusive means we actively work toward grafting people into community, as well as discourage behaviors that create division, and thus, spiritual illness. Here are three ways of including others:

  • Practice hospitality. The word hospitality literally means, “love of stranger.” A hospitable believer goes out of their way to invite another into their life, to give them the gift of relationship and fellowship.

Take care of God’s needy people and welcome strangers into your home. (Romans 12:13, CEV)

Above all, show sincere love to each other, because love brings about the forgiveness of many sins. Open your homes to each other without complaining. And serve each other according to the gift each person has received, as good managers of God’s diverse gifts. (1 Peter 4:8-10, CEB)

  • Nip bitterness in the bud. In an ideal world, everyone holds hands and sings kumbaya together. We live, however, in a fallen world. Harmony, unity, and peace take copious amounts of energy. Like an attentive gardener, we must do the work of identifying weeds and uprooting them, so they don’t take over the garden.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV)

  • Seek to encourage others, and learn how to do it. Encouragement is both a gift and a skill to be developed. To encourage another is to come alongside and help someone with both affirming words and willing hands. It’s what Jesus did (and does) for us.

Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So, encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:10-11, NLT)

Hospitality, harmony, and help are all forms of love. And love is to be the guiding principle and practice of church and community. Love is always the prescription for a healthy spiritual life and a restored community of faith. It prevents truth decay.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Forgive (Mark 11:20-25)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jesus Cursing the Fig Tree by Ganosh Kelagina Beedu Shenay, 2016

In the morning as they passed by, they saw the fig tree withered away to its roots. Then Peter remembered and said to him, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered.” Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and if you do not doubt in your heart but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (New Revised Standard Version)

Sometimes forgiveness seems about as possible as moving a mountain or withering a fig tree. Yet, it can be done. It needs to be done. An unforgiving spirit withers a person from the inside-out.

The heart of the good news in the Bible is forgiveness of sins. It comes through the person and work of Jesus Christ. Forgiveness is both an event, and a process. Forgiveness is to be a constant dynamic within our relationships because we live in a fallen world. 

People sin against us, and others hurt us. We sin against other people and hurt them, too. Relational pain is a reality this side of heaven. Revenge and/or passive-aggressive behavior are neither biblical nor healthy ways of handling our hurt. So, what is a person to do?

We practice forgiveness. The following is some biblical guidance as to what forgiveness is, and is not:

Forgiveness is hard work

God did not promise forgiveness would be easy. He knows exactly the kind of cost it brings. Through the death of Jesus there can be and is forgiveness. The price of forgiveness for Jesus was not cheap.

The blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean.  How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! (Hebrews 9:13-14, NIV)

Forgiveness is a process

Forgiveness is an ongoing process of putting off bad relational habits and putting on good ones. It takes time and cannot be hasty. Forgiveness must be deliberate with no shortcuts to it, otherwise it will not stick. 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:21-32, NIV)

Forgiveness does not mean we condone bad behavior

Forgiveness is not blanket amnesty. It does not simply give another person a “pass” on their hurtful words or actions. Forgiveness means we do not hold the offense over the other person’s head. 

“Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.”

Fred Luskin, Stanford University

We cannot undo the past. Yet, we have control of the present, and can choose to forgive. True forgiveness calls a spade a spade and names the specific offense in all its ugliness, and lets it go.

You’re an evil man! When you begged for mercy, I said you did not have to pay back a cent.  Don’t you think you should show pity to someone else, as I did to you? (Matthew 18:32-33, CEV)

Forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation

It takes two to reconcile. It only takes one to forgive.

I have often been told that it will not do any good to forgive another person because it would not change them. I respectfully retort: That is not the point. We forgive because it is our responsibility to work through our forgiveness issues and do it. We are not in control of whether another person will feel sorry for what they did, or not.  We regulate our own decision to forgive, no matter what the other person does or does not do, or whether they feel the gravity of their sin, or not.

If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. (Romans 12:18, CEB)

I [Jesus] say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44, NRSV)

Jesus said [on the cross], “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, CSB)

Forgiveness is primarily for our benefit

If we hold on to bitterness toward another for their offense, we only hurt ourselves. Drinking the poison of bitterness will kill you, not the other person. Avoid the magical thinking that they are going to come to you all slobbery sorry for what they said or did. That often does not happen. When it does, it is a beautiful thing. 

Regardless, of another’s decisions, we are to forgive everyone who sins against us just as God has forgiven us.

Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us…. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:12, 14-15, NLT)

Forgiveness is to be frequent and generous

The relational currency in God’s kingdom is forgiveness. Without it, we can neither operate well together, nor can we enjoy a satisfying life. However, with forgiveness, there is a demonstration of the practical effects of Christ’s crucifixion to life, not to mention a good witness to a watching world.  

Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22, MSG)

Forgiveness is an act of faith

To forgive is risky business. If we hold a grudge like a warm security blanket, to toss aside the odd comfort of unforgiveness will seem strange, even fearful. When we are hunkered down in bitterness, we rarely see how it causes faith to weaken.

The longer the lack of forgiving goes on, the harder it will be to give it up. Faith steps out and acts, believing that God is in it. On the other side is the hope of freedom and peace. Besides, the consequences of unforgiveness are downright unpleasant.

Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. (Matthew 6:13-14, MSG)

Forgiveness is a blessing

The end of the matter for many people comes down to the intensely practical. So, here it is: Do you want to be happy or miserable? I am not familiar with anyone who wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, “Well, I think I’ll be miserable today.” No, we want to be happy and blessed. Forgiving others is the path to blessing.

It is a great blessing when people are forgiven for the wrongs they have done, when their sins are erased. (Psalm 32:1, ERV)

May you know the blessing of being forgiven and forgiving others. May this freedom allow you to enjoy the peace of God the encouragement of others. Amen.

To Forgive Is Divine (Genesis 50:15-26)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Joseph pardons his brothers, by Bacchiacca (1495-1557) http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/NG1219

When Joseph’s brothers realized that their father was now dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge against us, and wants to pay us back seriously for all of the terrible things we did to him?” So they approached Joseph and said, “Your father gave orders before he died, telling us, ‘This is what you should say to Joseph. “Please, forgive your brothers’ sins and misdeeds, for they did terrible things to you. Now, please forgive the sins of the servants of your father’s God.”’” Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

His brothers wept too, fell down in front of him, and said, “We’re here as your slaves.”

But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I God? You planned something bad for me, but God produced something good from it, in order to save the lives of many people, just as he’s doing today. Now, don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.” So he put them at ease and spoke reassuringly to them.

Thus Joseph lived in Egypt, he and his father’s household. Joseph lived 110 years and saw Ephraim’s grandchildren. The children of Machir, Manasseh’s son, were also born on Joseph’s knees. Joseph said to his brothers, “I’m about to die. God will certainly take care of you and bring you out of this land to the land he promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.” Joseph made Israel’s sons promise, “When God takes care of you, you must bring up my bones out of here.” Joseph died when he was 110 years old. They embalmed him and placed him in a coffin in Egypt. (Common English Bible)

“All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a divine way when they forgive.”

Alexander Pope, “An Essay on Criticism”

If there was anyone who had a supposed right to be bitter and unforgiving, it would be Joseph. His brothers had hated him, left him for dead, sold him into slavery, and lied to their father Jacob about him. For years, Joseph languished in servitude and prison – for no fault of his own.

And yet, Joseph was able to discern that it wasn’t his place to be the judge. At the end of his life, he had the perspective and the insight to understand that all the hardship earlier in his life was noticed by God, and then bent for good and divine purposes in the saving of many lives.

If we can keep in mind that it is God’s business to run the world, and our business to forgive others, then life will go a lot better for everyone.

Many people live discontented lives because they say to themselves, “I will not forget what you did, and I will not forgive.” Persistent thoughts of revenge only serve as a cancer that destroys the mind’s thoughts, erodes the soul, and hinders the heart’s ability to love. 

But people who practice forgiveness are much less likely to be hateful, hostile, and belligerent toward others. They are healthier and happier, and more at peace.

I’ve had many people tell me over the years, “But you don’t know what I’ve been through.” My typical response is, “You don’t know what I’ve been through, either. You may not even believe some of the things I have experienced, and some of the things that have happened to me and were said to me. So, can I tell you what I have done to forgive those who have sinned against me?”

1. When I am trying to forgive someone, I pray for them.

It’s hard to keep resenting someone and wish them ill, whenever you are praying for them on a regular basis. Joseph was the victim of his brothers’ abuse. If there was ever a dysfunctional family to grow up in, it was Joseph’s. Being sold into slavery by your own brothers and being the target of their derision would cause anyone to be upset. But, many years later, Joseph chose to forgive his brothers. He acted with their best interests at mind. He prayed for them and did not actively work against them. What’s more, he saw the hand of God in it all.

2. I write a letter of forgiveness (which I may or may not send).

In the letter I write in full detail how the person hurt me. I leave nothing out. I express exactly how it made me feel, and how it affected my life. Then, I express forgiveness and say that I will not hold the offense over their head. The following is a five-step process for forgiving others using the acrostic REACH:

Recall 

Name the hurt, and name it squarely. Don’t fudge by saying it’s not that bad, or as bad as others have experienced. Call it what it is: deceit, stealing, harassment, assault, abuse, adultery, verbal shaming, murder, etc. 

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa after apartheid was based on providing full disclosure of all crimes. Those that stepped forward, giving a complete account of their actions, were offered a full pardon. 

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who led the commission, was most struck by how many people wanted to hear what had happened to their loved ones from the perpetrators themselves so that they could know whom to forgive. Methinks we have much to learn from our African brothers and sisters.

Empathize

Try and see the offense from the other person’s perspective. Attempt to put yourself in the other’s shoes. This does not mean we paper over the offense; it just means we don’t demonize another as a monster. That only feeds and fuels our own lack of forgiveness. When we view others as non-human, then we feel no responsibility to forgive.

Altruistic

Choose to do the right thing and treat the other person well, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because it is within your control to extend grace. Again, this is what Joseph chose to do with his brothers. He gave them words of assurance, and promises of taking care of them and their children.

Commit

Commit to practicing forgiveness. Make the decision to do it. Don’t wait too long for your feelings to catch up to you.  

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The Apostle Paul (Colossians 3:13, NIV)

Hold

Hold on to your forgiveness. Just because you make the decision to forgive does not mean you’ll never have to do it again. Once you have forgiven, let it be a stake in the ground in which you look back to it again and again, saying, “I forgave him/her, and I will not let the enemy of my soul keep trying to make me bitter about it all over again.” 

One of the reasons we repeat the Lord’s Prayer Sunday after Sunday in my church is to keep forgiving those who have sinned against us.

3. I talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor about my effort to forgive.

Many people get stuck and have an inability to forgive because they don’t seek a wise person to help them walk through the process of forgiving. 

The easy path is to complain about the offense to someone we know who will react with the same level of disgust and spirit of revenge that we ourselves have in our hearts. But that only reinforces the bitterness. We must have someone who can offer us what we need to hear, and not only what we want to hear.

Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel, and, so, ought to be at the core of a healthy spiritual life. It is always open season on offering grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation. To see all of life from a divine perspective is to forgive.

Pray like this:

Our Father who is in heaven,

uphold the holiness of your name.

Bring in your kingdom

so that your will is done on earth as it’s done in heaven.

Give us the bread we need for today.

Forgive us for the ways we have wronged you,

just as we also forgive those who have wronged us.

And don’t lead us into temptation,

but rescue us from the evil one.

If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:9-15, CEB)

Get Rid of Grumbling (Numbers 16:41-50)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

Grumbling broke out the next day in the community of Israel, grumbling against Moses and Aaron: “You have killed God’s people!”

But it so happened that when the community got together against Moses and Aaron, they looked over at the Tent of Meeting and there was the Cloud—the Glory of God for all to see.

Moses and Aaron stood at the front of the Tent of Meeting. God spoke to Moses: “Back away from this congregation so that I can do away with them this very minute.”

They threw themselves face down on the ground.

Moses said to Aaron, “Take your censer and fill it with incense, along with fire from the Altar. Get to the congregation as fast as you can: make atonement for them. Anger is pouring out from God—the plague has started!”

Aaron grabbed the censer, as directed by Moses, and ran into the midst of the congregation. The plague had already begun. He put burning incense into the censer and atoned for the people. He stood there between the living and the dead and stopped the plague.

Fourteen thousand seven hundred people died from the plague, not counting those who died in the affair of Korah. Aaron then went back to join Moses at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. The plague was stopped. (The Message)

grum-bled, grum-bling, grum-ble:

  • to murmur or mutter in discontent; complain sullenly
  • an expression of discontent; complaint; unhappy murmur; growl.

Out of all the bad things in this old world, grumbling and murmuring aren’t typically at the top of our list of heinous sins. Yet, they’re bad. The reason grumbling needs squelching is because complaining is like a gateway drug – start using it and it will surely lead to worse things, unless stopped.

A surefire way to divide a community of people is by grumbling and complaining. This was the deliberate tool of Korah – a Levite who was angling for more power and authority amongst the Israelites in their sojourn in the desert. His stirring up rebellion through constant complaints was a high-handed sin, meant to undercut Moses as the leader.

The revolt he incited resulted in a dramatic intervention of God in causing the earth to open up and swallow Korah and the rebels. The Lord has a zero tolerance policy toward satanic plans of upending godly leadership and replacing it with a lust for power.

The Punishment of Korah, Holman Illustrated Bible, 1890

Unfortunately, this was not the end of the story. Aftershocks of grumbling erupted around the community. And it was dealt with by God with the same sort of wrath that Korah experienced. A plague broke out and many more died.

So, why all the death? This was far more than a bunch of malcontents who were griping about how things were going. It was an assault against the Lord – in the same way Lucifer once brought rebellion to heaven. In both cases, swift action was taken.

Please keep in mind that we need a nuanced understanding of complaining, grumbling, and arguing. A great deal of complaining is an expression of grief, of pushing back against the hurt. There’s also the grumbling that comes because everybody else is doing it. But then there is the sort of grumbling that is intended to topple God as the authority and place oneself in that position. That’s the nasty sort which will get one in a heap of trouble.

I once had a parishioner, several years back, who continually complained about me. More than that, he seemed to be always trying to get others to join him in his constant grumbling. I certainly tried to be as meek as Moses. Whether that happened, or not, I’m not sure.

It got bad enough that one Sunday, the grumbler invited me to come outside after church and settle things “like men,” which meant with fisticuffs. Oy.

About a month later, the man was standing in his driveway, then fell straight over. He was dead before he even hit the pavement. I’ll leave it to you for an interpretation. I’ll also say that, obviously, the grumbling and rebellion stopped.

The people’s grumbling and revolt against Moses was tantamount to rebelling against God.

Grumbling is not okay. Whenever folks dig in and complain in order to overturn something or someone which the Lord has established, their plans for destruction get turned in on themselves. In other words, what happens to themselves is what they were planning all along for another.

The New Testament author of Hebrews picked up this tone of grumbling from the ancient Israelites, and offered a warning to his own contemporary audience:

“Today, if you hear his voice,
    do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
    during the time of testing in the wilderness,
where your ancestors tested and tried me,
    though for forty years they saw what I did.
That is why I was angry with that generation;
    I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
    and they have not known my ways.’
So I declared on oath in my anger,
    ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. (Hebrews 3:8-12, NIV)

The author also provided some simple yet profound exhortation for keeping grumbling and murmuring at bay:

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13, NIV)

Encouragement is the daily practice which prevents a hard heart and soul rot – the very things which lead a person to begin complaining and rebelling.

If there is no encouragement, complaints will take root. And if complaints take root, bitterness begins to grow. And if bitterness begins to grow, it will feed itself on grudge-bearing. And if grudge-bearing persists, it will have very unpleasant results.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15, NIV)

So, let us cultivate the fruit of the Spirit, and put aside the shameful deeds of darkness. Let us look for ways to encourage one another, rather than tearing down each other. Let us:

Fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:2-3, NIV)

Holy God, you work in us to will and to act in order to fulfill your good purpose. Help us to do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that we may become blameless and pure, without fault in a warped and crooked generation, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.