What Are You Searching For? (1 Samuel 9:15-27)

Now the day before Saul came, the Lord had revealed to Samuel: “Tomorrow about this time I will send to you a man from the land of Benjamin, and you shall anoint him to be ruler over my people Israel. He shall save my people from the hand of the Philistines, for I have seen the suffering of my people, because their outcry has come to me.” 

When Samuel saw Saul, the Lord told him, “Here is the man of whom I spoke to you. He it is who shall rule over my people.” Then Saul approached Samuel inside the gate and said, “Tell me, please, where is the house of the seer?” 

Samuel answered Saul, “I am the seer; go up before me to the shrine, for today you shall eat with me, and in the morning I will let you go and will tell you all that is on your mind. As for your donkeys that were lost three days ago, give no further thought to them, for they have been found. And on whom is all Israel’s desire fixed, if not on you and on all your ancestral house?” 

Saul answered, “I am only a Benjaminite, from the least of the tribes of Israel, and my family is the humblest of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin. Why then have you spoken to me in this way?”

Then Samuel took Saul and the young man and brought them into the hall and gave them a place at the head of those who had been invited, of whom there were about thirty. And Samuel said to the cook, “Bring the portion I gave you, the one I asked you to put aside.” The cook took up the upper thigh and set it before Saul. Samuel said, “See, what was reserved is set before you. Eat, for it was kept for you for this appointed time, so that you might eat with the guests.”

So Saul ate with Samuel that day. When they came down from the shrine into the town, a bed was spread for Saul on the roof, and he lay down to sleep. Then at the break of dawn Samuel called to Saul upon the roof, “Get up, so that I may send you on your way.” Saul got up, and both he and Samuel went out into the street.

As they were going down to the outskirts of the town, Samuel said to Saul, “Tell the young man to go on before us, and when he has passed on, stop here yourself for a while, that I may make known to you the word of God.” (New Revised Standard Version)

There are many times in our lives when we are on a quest for something that is lost. Saul was on a mission to find some lost donkeys. But, all along, there was a much larger quest taking place; God was on a quest to find a leader for Israel. Saul was wandering and looking for donkeys; he tried to find the “seer” (Samuel) in order to find the animals. He found, however, that he himself was the object of a bigger search.

I wonder how often we look and seek and turn over every rock in order to find something, only to discover that we had the thing all along. And if we were to look a bit deeper into ourselves, I believe we would find that we already have what we need.

We search for an answer, seek for a person who can lead us where we want to be, or go on a quest to find the something, or that someone, which will satisfy our longing for peace, normalcy, or at least, a smidge of relief. Yet, we just might be on the wrong search.

If spiritual guidance is what we want, then what, precisely, do we need? What exactly is it which requires help? We may end up looking like a jack ass, simply because we are searching for one.

In contrast to Saul’s blind searching, Samuel sits patiently and waits, knowing exactly who he’s watching for.

Even though Samuel, as the mouthpiece of God, had warned the people against asking for king, the people still demanded one. Yet, God was flexible and moved with the will of the people. And Samuel trusted the Lord and moved with God. None of this, however, negated the situation of the people’s misguided stubbornness.

The Lord takes our human decision-making, responsibility, and accountability seriously. So, we too, are to weigh our decisions carefully so that they are consistent with good purposes. And when things go sideways, we are to own up to our decisions and actions (or inactions).

Throughout the story, even though Saul looks impressive, he is continually clueless to everything going on. He isn’t aware that the donkeys have been found. He doesn’t know where to look for the seer, and that the seer is Samuel. He isn’t aware of why he is being invited to a feast. Saul was clueless that he was being chosen for a task.

To be unaware is to be driven by the forces within us which we do not recognize. Yet, conversely, to be aware is to have the conscious power of choices; we can choose one path over another because we have awareness of where those paths lead, as well as what is going on inside of us. In other words, we can make decisions wisely with awareness of self, others, and the world.

Saul had none of this awareness. And as his story unfolds throughout the rest of the book of 1 Samuel, we can observe how much he seems out of control and disconnected from himself, others, and the situations around him.

One of things which inevitably results from a lack of self-awareness, is impatience. The life of Saul, as we shall see, is marked by having ants-in-his-pants; he had a hard time waiting. The introduction we have of Saul in today’s story begins to clue us in on the fact that he actively searches for dumb animals, intimating that he himself may not be the brightest bulb in Israel.

Samuel, however, is self-aware, and thus, patient. He is able to wait, and does not give into any anxiety to do differently. Samuel’s quest for humility, wisdom, and knowledge of God helped him become aware and confident.

Which character do you most relate to, Samuel, or Saul? Why? In what ways might you gain a greater awareness of yourself, others in your life, and your circumstances? How might you develop a better awareness of the divine?

Most of all, what is it that you are truly searching for?

Blessed God, help me to see myself and my life through your unconditional love and acceptance of me so that your love and power can flow in and through me. Help me to remember that nothing can separate me from your love. Amen.

Use Your Freedom For Good (Exodus 33:1-6)

Then the Lord said to Moses, “You and the people you brought out of Egypt must leave this place. Go to the land I promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob with an oath, saying, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I will send a Messenger ahead of you, and I will force out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. Go to that land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not be with you, because you are impossible to deal with, and I would destroy you on the way.”

When the people heard this bad news, they acted as if someone had died. No one wore any jewelry. The Lord had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are impossible to deal with. If I were with you, I might destroy you at any time. Now take off your jewelry, and I’ll decide what to do with you.’” After they left Mount Horeb, the Israelites no longer wore their jewelry. (God’s Word Translation)

It took little time for the covenant between God and the Israelites to be violated. The relationship between the Lord and the people was meant to be cemented through a special covenant in which Yahweh makes promises to them and gives them instructions and commandments; and the Israelites pledge their fealty and promise to obey.

But the people quickly reneged on the relationship. While Moses was up on Mount Sinai, receiving the Law from God, the Israelite grumbles and complaints came to full flower. They went their own way and made a calf idol out of gold.

So, the Lord’s judgment broke out amongst them. The Levites, to their credit, rallied around Moses and the Lord, and took out the rabble rousers in the camp. What’s more, God sent a plague that killed many.

In the aftermath of the rebellion against Moses and the Lord, God ordered the people to leave Mount Sinai – the place where everyone was to have a positive experience of Yahweh’s presence. God’s anger and wrath were so aroused that it became impossible for the divine presence to go with the people. Only Moses, as God’s emissary, would be able to guide the Israelites so that they are not completely eradicated.

Mount Sinai, by Sefira Lightstone

Yet, even after all the bad attitudes, rebellious actions, and an idolatrous spirit among the Israelites, Yahweh will still keep the divine promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to deliver them and bring them to the Promised Land.

Today’s story has the feel of a chastened child sitting in the corner, having to think about what they just did to raise the ire of the parent. The Israelites moved from Sinai in a somber mood, realizing more clearly than ever how much their lives are tied and linked to God’s divine presence.

At God’s command, the people removed their jewelry and took off their party clothes from the celebration that got them into so much trouble. It began to sink in, that the Lord departed from them because of their great sin. They started to realize, albeit too late, that they really screwed up their relationship with God.

The Israelites didn’t know how good they had it with the divine pillar of cloud by day and fire by night to lead them – and how much they actually depended on the God-given manna for their sustenance and existence.

It’s all too typical for us humans that we fail to realize what we have, until it’s gone. The ancient Israelites were freed from a cruel slavery in Egypt. They clearly did not handle their freedom well, at all. Perhaps the people were so used to being in bondage that, when they go their freedom, they just adopted a different sort of slavery – to their sinful passions.

Let’s handle our freedom with some responsibility and accountability, so that we do not go down the same rebellious path as the ancient people of God. You and I are free to choose what we do, what we think, and how we spend our time. It’s easy to blame outside forces when circumstances are hard; and to grumble whenever we don’t like something.

Freedom is a spiritual discipline; we must learn how to intentionally practice it and use it for good. The following are four areas to purposefully work on with our freedom by making good choices:

Choose your words carefully. What comes out of your own mouth is up to you. Let those words reflect who you truly are; and let your speech impact others around you for good, and not evil.

Choose your attitude with some self-awareness. With awareness comes choices. For example, if we are not aware of our own anger, it will eventually come out sideways on another person. Our sullen attitude and jaded perspective will color our relational interactions. But if we are aware of our emotions, we can choose to effectively work through them, and then decide what sort of attitude we’re going to have.

Choose your actions before you do them. Seemingly insignificant choices turn into small actions. The small actions become habits. And habits shape character and create a life. We make choices every day about what we’ll do and not do. In every sort of situation we have choices to act, such as: Will I let go, or will I try and control others? Will I walk, or drive? Will I spend, or save? Shall I prepare, or procrastinate? Be fit, or be fat? Talk or listen?… and a thousand other choices of action.

Choose your beliefs with care. Our beliefs and our faith determines how we act and behave. If we believe in a good God who has our best interests at heart, we will freely trust such a God. But if we believe God to be a capricious Being who is aloof from my concerns, then we will make choices to watch out for number one and view others with suspect.

If you are behaving in ways that aren’t working for you, examine what belief is causing that behavior. Then decide whether that’s a belief you really need to have, or not, then change it, if necessary.

Every choice we make, contributes to the person we want to become, and sets us on the path to where we want to be in life. Maybe if the ancient Israelites had more awareness of this, they might have chosen very differently.

Gracious God, grant me clarity and awareness to make wise decisions. Enlighten my heart and mind, as I seek to follow your divine guidance. In the face of uncertainty, give me the courage to trust your promises. Help me embrace the path set before me, with a spirit of love and grace. Amen.

Acceptance (Acts 7:17-40)

“As the time drew near for God to fulfill his promise to Abraham, the number of our people in Egypt had greatly increased. Then ‘a new king, to whom Joseph meant nothing, came to power in Egypt.’He dealt treacherously with our people and oppressed our ancestors by forcing them to throw out their newborn babies so that they would die.

“At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child. For three months he was cared for by his family. When he was placed outside, Pharaoh’s daughter took him and brought him up as her own son. Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action.

“When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his own people, the Israelites. He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other?’

“But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, ‘Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?’ When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons.

Moses and the Burning Bush, by Marc Chagall

“After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight. As he went over to get a closer look, he heard the Lord say: ‘I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.

“Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground. I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.’

“This is the same Moses they had rejected with the words, ‘Who made you ruler and judge?’ He was sent to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. He led them out of Egypt and performed wonders and signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea and for forty years in the wilderness.

“This is the Moses who told the Israelites, ‘God will raise up for you a prophet like me from your own people.’ He was in the assembly in the wilderness, with the angel who spoke to him on Mount Sinai, and with our ancestors; and he received living words to pass on to us.

“But our ancestors refused to obey him. Instead, they rejected him and in their hearts turned back to Egypt. They told Aaron, ‘Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who led us out of Egypt—we don’t know what has happened to him!’ (New International Version)

Martyrdom of St. Stephen, by Bernardo Daddi, 1345

We humans are a confusing paradox of sinner and saint. We are majestic people, created in the image and likeness of a good God.

And we are also profoundly fallen, touched by the power of sin in every area of our lives. Our hearts exist with both light and darkness, having the capacity for both incredible altruism as well as inexplicable evil.

So then, it will do no good to retreat into binary definitions of people as being either good or bad. No, we shine and shadow at the same time. The thing that really gets us into a terrible mess is when we ignore or deny our shadow selves. We then demonize the other while claiming purity for ourselves.

This is precisely what occurred with Stephen and a group of his fellow Jews who refused to acknowledge their shadow side. And it resulted in Stephen’s stoning and death. Whereas Stephen lifted and brought to light the unseemly aspects of their collective heritage, the people wanted nothing to do with it.

In our present day, the response might be something like, “Quit being so negative. We focus on the positive. Expel this recalcitrant troublemaker once and for all!”

Oy. Acceptance cuts two ways. We must accept both our blessings and our curses. And the acceptance of what is will not occur apart from a solid self-acceptance of who we are and how we are feeling in any given situation. On the practical level, it works something like the following story…

Several years ago, I went on a leadership retreat in the Canadian wilderness. We were so far out in the sticks that we needed special first aid training before leaving – because if someone got severely injured it would be hours before any medical attention could be received. There was no cell phone service, no towns, no anything except mile after square mile of wilderness. 

One day, it was very windy and several of us were on a lake canoeing to a destination. It was late May, which means the water was still ice cold in Canada. One of the canoes capsized and we had to act quickly and deliberately – which was no small feat in a stiff wind. More than fifteen minutes would result in hypothermia for the two people in the water.

I did not like being in that situation. In fact, I didn’t much like the Canadian wilderness. Too many black flies and giant mosquitoes for me. My shadow side was coming out. But here I was, and I had to accept the reality I was in. One of the lessons I learned in that moment was that acceptance can sit alongside other reactions and emotions.

For example, a person can be outraged by an injustice, as Stephen was, and accept that it is a reality. Acceptance does not mean complacency or giving up. We can accept something while at the same time trying to make it better.

I also needed to accept what was happening inside of me. I was cold and worried. Trying to push those feelings away would have only added to the stress of the situation. If I failed to accept what was true about myself, I would be less able to deal with the situation, and so, would compromise my ability to help two people at risk.

I needed to accept the whole circumstance, including myself. Accepting what is inside gave me more influence over the situation, not less. Self-acceptance became the key to acceptance of unwanted conditions, and more importantly, acceptance of one another as human beings.

In that moment of rescuing two people (which ultimately proved successful) I became aware of a part of myself – the part that gets afraid and irritated – and chose not to stuff it or deny its existence. I became the guy who talked to the panicked people in the water and kept them as calm as possible so that the others could get them out. I was able to do my part to help fearful people because I acknowledged and accepted my own fear.

Unlike my situation, however, Stephen’s experience ended in martyrdom. Just because we respond rightly is no guarantee that everything will work out for our benefit. Rather, we say and do the things we must say and do, while leaving the results to a sovereign Lord.

It is our responsibility to work on ourselves, not others. And acceptance is the path to get there, all of it, not just part of it.

Jesus, let your mighty calmness lift me above my fears and frustrations. By your deep patience, give me tranquility and stillness of soul in you. Make me in this, and in all things, more and more like you. Amen.

Dealing with Spiritual Blindness (John 9:1-41)

Coptic Church depiction of Jesus healing the man born blind

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” Some claimed that he was.

Others said, “No, he only looks like him.”

But he himself insisted, “I am the man.”

“How then were your eyes opened?” they asked.

He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”

“Where is this man?” they asked him.

“I don’t know,” he said.

They brought to the Pharisees the man who had been blind. Now the day on which Jesus had made the mud and opened the man’s eyes was a Sabbath. Therefore the Pharisees also asked him how he had received his sight. “He put mud on my eyes,” the man replied, “and I washed, and now I see.”

Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”

But others asked, “How can a sinner perform such signs?” So they were divided.

Then they turned again to the blind man, “What have you to say about him? It was your eyes he opened.”

The man replied, “He is a prophet.”

They still did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they sent for the man’s parents. “Is this your son?” they asked. “Is this the one you say was born blind? How is it that now he can see?”

“We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind. But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue. That was why his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”

A second time they summoned the man who had been blind. “Give glory to God by telling the truth,” they said. “We know this man is a sinner.”

He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”

Then they asked him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”

He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples too?”

Then they hurled insults at him and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple! We are disciples of Moses! We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don’t even know where he comes from.”

The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”

To this they replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.

Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

“Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”

Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”

Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

Jesus said] “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Some Pharisees, who were with him, heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains. (New International Version)

Jesus healing blind Bartimaeus by Johann Heinrich Stöver, 1861. St John’s Church, Hesse, Germany

Assuming Blindness

Behind everything we believe and talk about, there are pre-suppositions or assumptions. The disciples had an assumption about blindness: its sin – not just a result of living in a fallen world, but personal sin. That is, an individual sinner whom we can point the finger to. The disciples demonstrated they were just as blind as the physically blind man.

Jesus had a clear and concise response to that assumption: nobody is at fault here, nobody. Which, to me, begs the question:

Have you considered that your thoughts are subjective, not objective?

Too many people treat their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs as if they were pure gospel truth (which is probably why they feel justified in assuming they are always right and are arbiters of truth!). Reality check: You, nor I, have the corner on truth. Jesus is the truth, not anybody else.

Healing Blindness

Since Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, he has the power and authority to heal, making the blind to see. Sin wasn’t the issue; the true issue was an opportunity to showcase the gracious work of God. So, Jesus healed the man’s eyes so that he could see again. Healing is not a one-size-fits-all, which is why Jesus did something unique with the blind man, and then gave specific instructions on what to do.

Therefore, we must not assume that we know how a healing is supposed to happen. There’s no codifying a particular process or prayer in order to leverage God into performing one.

Investigating Blindness

The religious leaders always seem to have a problem about something. They, like the disciples, assumed sin was at the core of the man’s blindness. The leaders were befuddled that a sinner like Jesus (who doesn’t keep the Sabbath properly) could ever heal another sinner (a blind man). That’s a conundrum they couldn’t live with, and so, the questions kept getting heaped on the poor guy who was healed.

The religious leaders were trying to make sense out of what they thought was a nonsensical situation. It’s only nonsensical to them because they didn’t have any good sense to begin with. Their interaction with the healed man, and then with Jesus, only demonstrated their profound lack of awareness resulting in spiritual blindness.

Remaining in Blindness 

Many of the religious leaders, heretics in the early church, and spiritual phonies of today are not deliberately trying to deceive or lead others astray; they think they are doing the right thing when they are actually not. 

An eye-opening reality I discovered when I first studied church history is that the early heresies, condemned at church councils, were doctrines promoted by men who were not evil – they were just sincerely misguided. The heretics believed they were helping the church better understand the nature of God and Christ. However, they were unaware and blind to the actual nature of their teachings. 

Back when I wrote my master’s thesis in nineteenth century American Religious History, I read hundreds of sermons from southern preachers before the American Civil War. They had a “biblical” defense of Black chattel slavery. Many of them were influential pastors of large churches who led many people to Christ, that is, white people. Yet, at the same time, they were blind to how they slammed the door of God’s kingdom in the faces of Black folk, were complicit in slaveholder abuse, and fueled antagonisms between North and South.

Churches and Christians may be unaware and blind to how they keep people out of God’s kingdom by saying God’s grace is for all, and then avoid certain people; by having explicit written statements or rules that exclude people from service; or by binding people to human traditions and practices instead of Holy Scripture.

Our Eyes

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6:22-23, NIV)

In the ancient world, the eye represented what you fixed your gaze on, or what your focus was. In our culture, we could replace the word “eye” with the word “goal.” The word “body” represents the entirety of one’s life.  So, we might interpret Christ’s words in this way: 

A goal is the focus of a life. If your goals are good, your whole life will be full of proper focus. But if your goals are bad, your whole life will be full of blindness. If then, the focus within you is only really blindness, how great is that darkness!

If goals and dreams are toward earthly treasure, one will blindly move in that direction and have misplaced values. Today’s Gospel story portrays the need to be self-aware as individual Christians and as a church. We can choose to:

  1. Be open to new information
  2. Entertain the notion that you might be wrong
  3. Embrace a full range of knowing (head, heart, and gut)
  4. Allow the light of Christ to shine on every person and each situation
  5. Stick to your experience of others and events
  6. Consider how your words and actions affect others
  7. Keep accountable to others and ask for feedback

Monitoring ourselves and our own emotional landscape will help us to become aware of what’s happening inside us. And then, in turn, having our eyes opened enables us to truly see others and be aware of their needs.