Tag: anxious

Learning to Trust (Psalm 4)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Answer me when I cry out, my righteous God!
    Set me free from my troubles!
        Have mercy on me!
        Listen to my prayer!

How long, you people,
    will my reputation be insulted?
How long will you continue
    to love what is worthless
    and go after lies?
Know this: the Lord takes
    personal care of the faithful.
The Lord will hear me
    when I cry out to him.
So be afraid, and don’t sin!
    Think hard about it in your bed
    and weep over it!
Bring righteous offerings,
    and trust the Lord!

Many people say,
    “We can’t find goodness anywhere.
    The light of your face has left us, Lord!”
But you have filled my heart with more joy
    than when their wheat and wine are everywhere!
I will lie down and fall asleep in peace
    because you alone, Lord, let me live in safety. (Common English Bible)

The psalmist, David, was a man after God’s own heart. But that did not mean that he was inoculated from trouble and hardship.

David had a lot of adversity and much difficulty throughout his life. So, it only made sense to him to cry out to the Lord for deliverance and help. God had helped David in the past, and David was confident that the Lord would help him yet again.

We all find ourselves in a tight spot, between a rock and hard place, at times. It’s what we do when we are in that position that is critical. David had a history of looking to God, seeking God’s grace, and soliciting answers to prayer.

David, the psalmist, was a real victim of slander and lies. More than once in his life, he had people out to get him, to actually take his life. Whatever your understanding of stress is, it doesn’t get much more stressful than someone hunting you down like an animal to literally kill you. I’m sure that many times David wondered how long this surreal madness was going to go on.

Whenever we are especially stressed, it can be hard to even breathe. If we aren’t mindful of ourselves, we will take lots of short staccato breaths that only feed anxious signals to the brain. It leaves us in a perpetual state of hypervigilance, almost unable to pray and have thoughts of God.

But we absolutely need to take deep breaths and trust in God’s sustaining presence. We’ll never get to sleep, nor stay at rest, without a sense of the divine presence.

Insomnia happens for a lot of reasons. Many people have diagnosed sleep disorders that are very real medical conditions. Others can’t get a good night’s rest because of poor sleep hygiene by not planning for adequate sleep, drinking too much caffeine during the day, inattention to a healthy diet, or a host of other habits. Some have issues of chronic pain which can make it difficult to sleep well.

And then there are yet others who suffer from racing thoughts, anxiety, and depression. The stress of their waking life is so significant that several hours of deep sleep seems only like some pipe dream. It’s impossible to sleep when the weight of the day is pressing on you. Finding a sense of calm before bed isn’t easy—especially when you can’t unplug from the demands of your day.

I am wondering if many of us will even allow ourselves to unplug and establish some quiet wind-down time. Reading a real book – not one on a backlit tablet device – or talking with a friend or family member are simple ways of easing our anxiety and letting rest come.

The psalmist, David, had a regular practice of meditating on Scripture, recalling the events of God, and expressing gratitude and praise for answered prayer. Each of us has a built-in spiritual rhythm just like we have a circadian rhythm. Always trying to buck those God-given rhythms will inevitably result in being “off,” at the least, and experiencing debilitating depression, at the worst.

Yet, when we learn to move with the unforced rhythms of grace, there is a groove we slip into which serves us well. In other words, what I am trying to say, is that by allowing ourselves to be human, we can discover health.

David neither had delusions, nor illusions, about his enemies, friends, others, and himself. He didn’t try to be somebody he was not. Instead, David had firm and confident convictions about God and the place of prayer.

By taking in a steady diet of David’s psalms, we can learn to hold together both faith and doubt, confidence and confusion, perseverance and perplexity, in ways which strengthens our faith.

Everyone of us who desire God must learn to trust; and it’s in the school of hard knocks where our faith is developed in order to sustain us for a lifetime of service and resilience.

There will always be those who believe ill of us through slander, lies, or outright oppression. In such times, let’s cry out to God for both peace and guidance; and ask the Lord for help in learning to breathe, lie down, and get some rest.

As our trust develops, we may even find the grace and courage to confront our oppressors, so that they can seek their own peace with God.

May Christ be with you, and within you;
May Christ go before you, and linger behind you;
May Christ be on your right, and on your left;
May Christ hover above you, and bring support beneath you;
May the Lord Jesus Christ completely and thoroughly surround you, now and forever. Amen.

Trust vs. Anxiety (Isaiah 30:15-18)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

The holy Lord God of Israel
    had told all of you,
“I will keep you safe
if you turn back to me
    and calm down.
I will make you strong
    if you quietly trust me.”

Then you stubbornly said,
“No! We will safely escape
    on speedy horses.”

But those who chase you
    will be even faster.
As few as five of them,
or even one, will be enough
    to chase a thousand of you.
Finally, all that will be left
    will be a few survivors
as lonely as a flag pole
    on a barren hill.

The Lord God is waiting
to show how kind he is
    and to have pity on you.
The Lord always does right;
he blesses those who trust him. (Contemporary English Version)

God’s plan for our lives calls for times of retreat and renewal, of quiet patience and perseverance, for restraint and waiting.

Ancient Judah was experiencing one of their many periods of rebellion toward God’s commands. One of the things that happens – whether in ancient times or today – is that whenever we go off the road of God’s ways, our lives become characterized by a grand self-help program.

Those in the Judean royal court could not wait on God. They had to do something about Assyria. The Assyrian Empire was waning, and Judah wanted to take advantage of it, seeing an opportunity for some relative autonomy.

So, many of the activists in the royal court rushed to Egypt for help – not at all considering to turn toward God and wait on the Lord. God blesses those who trust and wait on divine promises and initiative. But, in their anxiety, the people of Judah would not exercise faith and patience.

As a result, the enemy would overtake them. The people’s refusal to take the quiet course would not end well for them.

On many days, as I attend to the hospitals for which I work, I visit many hurting people, including patients, their families, and teammates. In my time there, I deal with a vast array of emotional problems, spiritual struggles, and mental disorders. One of things I have discovered through this work is that people’s internal issues absolutely need to be expressed, out loud, to someone who cares and knows what to do with those expressions.

And this is not only a modern problem; the need to deal with our internal stuff has been there throughout all of human history. Every culture and society who does not attend well to personal and communal spiritual health is literally killing their bodies – because body and soul are inextricably connected in a union as one.

It continually amazes me that people who think nothing of going to a medical doctor, an emergency room, or having a surgery, would never think of getting help when their minds are mixed up, emotions are frayed, and spirits are downcast.

Stubbornly holding onto self-help to handle a spiritual crisis, refusing help from others, and ignoring God, is just as sure to kill you as believing that chest pains, shortness of breath, and inability to walk across the room will simply get better on its own.

Conversely, isolating oneself and calling it “waiting on God” and remaining passive – when the Lord has clearly told us to be active – will accomplish the same ends as the committed self-help person. Faith and action are not mutually exclusive terms. It takes some wisdom to know when to retreat, pray, and be patient; and when to take initiatives of faith, and trust God to work through action.

Rebellion gets us nowhere. It’s what puts us in the awkwardness of making bad decisions and discernments. The Lord had told the people of Judah to stay put and not rely on Egypt to help them. There were clear instructions through the prophets about what to do. But the people were too anxious, too impatient, wondering too much about whether God would show up or not.

The Spirit God gave us does not make us afraid. His Spirit is a source of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7, ERV

No matter where we have been or what we have done, the Lord is continually waiting on us – and will consistently respond with grace and mercy to our petitions and overtures to live for God. It’s never too late to flee to God in quiet trust.

Running to God is not escaping our problems. Rather, the Lord enables us to face both our outward situations, as well as our inward thinking and feeling. It’s easy to engage in busywork and keep active when we are anxious; yet it is very difficult to sit still before God and be alone. Silence and solitude put us face to face with ourselves. And doing that is what many people would rather avoid.

“I’ll do it myself!” is the cry of many a person who is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelmed. That approach, however, is a highway to the grave. And, in fact, it is a stubborn rebellion that puts a stiff arm to God.

I’m not saying that opening-up is easy; I am stating that it is necessary to our spiritual and emotional health. It might be helpful to begin communicating with some vulnerability and authenticity to God. The following are some appropriate ways that might help:

  1. Be congruent between the outer self and inner self. Make sure your outside affect and behavior is congruent with your inside feelings and thoughts. If you are discouraged on the inside, but wear a smile and pretend to be spiritually with it, you’re not fooling God. You cannot receive grace apart from humble authenticity.
  2. Focus on feelings. You won’t get struck by lightning if you express your anger, or other emotions, to God. Be aware of how you are feeling. In fact, ask the Lord to help you understand your feelings. Share them openly as much as you can.
  3. Change questions into statements. Sometimes, when we have an attitude or a feeling, we’re afraid to say it and be open. So instead, we ask a question. Try changing questions such as “Do you love me?” into “I love you.” And, “Do you want me to do this?” to “I want to do your will.”
  4. Speak in the first person. Begin sentences with “I” instead of “you,” For example, ” I am happy that you are with me,” instead of asking, “Are you there?”
  5. Say out loud what you really want and need. It’s okay to do that. This is when it is appropriate to ask questions. The Lord’s ear is ready to listen.

Patient and confident trust in God is always a better option than anxious and nervous striving by yourself.

O God, the source of all health: So fill my heart with faith in your love, that with calm expectancy I may make room for your power to possess me, and gracefully accept your healing; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Distressed (Psalm 77)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

I cry aloud to God;
    I cry aloud, and he hears me.
In times of trouble I pray to the Lord;
    all night long I lift my hands in prayer,
    but I cannot find comfort.
When I think of God, I sigh;
    when I meditate, I feel discouraged.

He keeps me awake all night;
    I am so worried that I cannot speak.
I think of days gone by
    and remember years of long ago.
I spend the night in deep thought;
    I meditate, and this is what I ask myself:
“Will the Lord always reject us?
    Will he never again be pleased with us?
Has he stopped loving us?
    Does his promise no longer stand?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
    Has anger taken the place of his compassion?”
Then I said, “What hurts me most is this—
    that God is no longer powerful.”

I will remember your great deeds, Lord;
    I will recall the wonders you did in the past.
I will think about all that you have done;
    I will meditate on all your mighty acts.

Everything you do, O God, is holy.
    No god is as great as you.
You are the God who works miracles;
    you showed your might among the nations.
By your power you saved your people,
    the descendants of Jacob and of Joseph.

When the waters saw you, O God, they were afraid,
    and the depths of the sea trembled.
The clouds poured down rain;
    thunder crashed from the sky,
    and lightning flashed in all directions.
The crash of your thunder rolled out,
    and flashes of lightning lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and shook.
You walked through the waves;
    you crossed the deep sea,
    but your footprints could not be seen.
You led your people like a shepherd,
    with Moses and Aaron in charge. (Good News Translation)

Psalm 77, by Jeremy Grant

I Worry

You and I know what it feels like to be in trouble. We understand the sense, at times, of having our prayers bounce off the ceiling, as if our cries are not heard by heaven. Loneliness and discouragement are palpable. Sleep is elusive. Worries and racing thoughts go round and round in our heads, like some sort of demented NASCAR event.

Swirling around us like a black cloud are all the questions asked without any answers:

  • Has God walked off the job? Is the Lord ever coming back? Is God even there? Did the Lord retire from being God?
  • Is God angry at me? What have I done to piss him off? Is the Lord fed up with us?
  • Is the Lord really a God of love? Did grace run out of steam? Does God hate me?

Then, when the questions go unanswered without any replies, we begin to remember the good old days… when God was a mover and shaker in this messed up world… when the Lord delivered the people from Egyptian bondage… when God pulled people out of the worst kind of troubles….

We continue to reminisce, even recalling that the very elements of the earth were moved by the command of an almighty God: setting aside the Red Sea so that the people were delivered from impending doom… congealing the Jordan River so that the people could cross over into the Promised Land… causing clouds to form and belch out buckets of rain to end droughts in the land… and so much more….

Like a concerned and compassionate shepherd, protecting the sheep and caring for them, God had led the people out of slavery and into freedom, speaking to Moses, delivering people, moving mountains…. Yet, here I lay, hearing and experiencing bupkis from God. *Sigh*

So, what’s a spiritually sensitive person to do?

I and Thou

In 1937, the Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber wrote an insightful book entitled “I and Thou.” Buber postulated how people exist in the world and how they actualize that existence. We engage the world through both monologue and dialogue. For Buber, “all real living is meeting.” In other words, to exist, to live, is to encounter another and relate to a “Thou.” We only have meaning in relationships. We only have our being in God.

The psalmist acknowledges there is a “Thou” besides his distressed “I” – that this Thou will hear, make a difference, and open a way of deliverance… even if it might not happen right away. There are four actions the psalmist decides to do in his distress, actions which put him in a vital dialogue with the divine “Thou”… even if it seems like nothing is happening.

I Pray

Prayer, at its heart, is a dialogue with God. From the place of our spiritual poverty and bankruptcy, we beg; and God gives us the kingdom. To be a spiritual beggar, pleading for our needs to be met, knowing we have no way to repay, is a posture which God delights in.

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (Matthew 5:3, MSG)

I Search

In the I and Thou relationship, the search works both ways.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways….

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:1-2, 23-24, NIV)

I Remember

The psalmist intentionally sought to recall the mighty works of God, especially in delivering the people from slavery and bringing them to the Promised Land. In our forgetfulness, we get lost in our troubles and our perspective becomes skewed. We cannot see beyond the end of our nose. Remembering, however, grants us a fuller picture of what is happening in light of the past. It brings us out of the lonely “I” and into the relationship of “I and Thou.”

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. 

Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10:32-36, NIV)

I Meditate

Pondering and thinking upon God’s deeds enables praise to arise from us. It fosters the I and Thou relationship, bolstering and buoying our faith through life-events which produce our distress.

I lie awake thinking of you,
    meditating on you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
    I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. (Psalm 63:6-7, NLT)

Thou Art Worthy

The psalm ends with no resolution to the personal distress of the psalmist. Whether there is a happy ending, or not, isn’t the point. It’s about the process.

The journey of moving through our troubles causes us to learn as much (or more) from God’s absence than of God’s presence. We learn how to pray, search, remember, and meditate because of and despite our troubles. We learn to relate to God and eventually proclaim that Thou art worthy.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11, KJV)

Amen.

Anxious (Genesis 32:3-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob praying for deliverance from his brother Esau, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

Jacob sent messengers on ahead to Esau, who lived in the land of Seir, also known as Edom. Jacob told them to say to Esau, “Master, I am your servant! I have lived with Laban all this time, and now I own cattle, donkeys, and sheep, as well as many slaves. Master, I am sending these messengers in the hope that you will be kind to me.”

When the messengers returned, they told Jacob, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is heading this way with 400 men.”

Jacob was so frightened that he divided his people, sheep, cattle, and camels into two groups. He thought, “If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape.”

Then Jacob prayed:

You, Lord, are the God who was worshiped by my grandfather Abraham and by my father Isaac. You told me to return home to my family, and you promised to be with me and make me successful. I don’t deserve all the good things you have done for me, your servant. When I first crossed the Jordan, I had only my walking stick, but now I have two large groups of people and animals. Please rescue me from my brother. I am afraid he will come and attack not only me, but my wives and children as well. But you have promised that I would be a success and that someday it will be as hard to count my descendants as it is to count the grains of sand along the seashore.

After Jacob had spent the night there, he chose some animals as gifts for Esau: 200 female goats and 20 males, 200 female sheep and 20 males, 30 female camels with their young, 40 cows and 10 bulls, and 20 female donkeys and 10 males.

Jacob put servants in charge of each herd and told them, “Go ahead of me and keep a space between each herd.” Then he said to the servant in charge of the first herd, “When Esau meets you, he will ask whose servant you are. He will want to know where you are going and who owns those animals in front of you. So tell him, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob, who is coming this way. He is sending them as a gift to his master Esau.’ ”

Jacob also told the men in charge of the second and third herds and those who followed to say the same thing when they met Esau. And Jacob told them to be sure to say that he was right behind them. Jacob hoped the gifts would make Esau friendly, so Esau would be glad to see him when they met. Jacob’s men took the gifts on ahead of him, but he spent the night in camp. (Contemporary English Version)

Anxiety’s a booger. It arises as an unwanted guest within our psyche, putting pressure on our chest, and becoming a squatter in the pit of our gut. To be anxious is to have a vague sense of dread, anticipating some upcoming threat.

Jacob knew the feeling well. His mind raced with thoughts of what might happen and how to placate Esau when he encountered his brother. Jacob left home two decades earlier to escape Esau’s vengeance. Now their meeting up was imminent. Jacob was scared spitless.

What do you do when distress and dread wrap you in a straitjacket of anxiety?

Avoid avoidance

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding it prevents us from moving forward. It makes us anxious.  One way of facing your fear and/or anxiety is to name it. When fear, anxiety, terror, apprehension, or distress arises, then name it. In naming our fears and anxieties, they become real and, thus, manageable. 

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”

Thict Nhat Hanh (1926-2022)

Another way to face fear is to “sit with it” for a short while. Give yourself permission to feel the anxiety for a set amount of time without judgment or trying to get over it. Pay attention to where you are carrying your anxiety in your body.

Focus on what’s within your control

We cannot control other people. There’s no way Jacob was going to control or manipulate his brother Esau. Many circumstances are outside our control. And yet, we always have the choice of self-control. Giving into addictions, or not facing problems are ways of giving up control of ourselves. Taking good care of ourselves, and focusing on good attitudes are ways of strengthening personal control.

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder in those times when we feel out of control:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Promote a positive mindset

Positive attitudes help us widen our perspective on things – and with a broader view of things comes more awareness of choices. Making wise choices for ourselves now, builds resilience and fortifies us for difficult situations down the road – without succumbing to old unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Find purpose and meaning in life

Experiencing traumatic events might cause us to question whether our lives have meaning, or not. We may feel unnecessary or expendable, and see no meaning for the future. 

So, it’s important to discover or reconnect with the spirituality within you. Take the time and energy to read Scripture, walk through nature, or discuss matters of the spirit with others. Just as our physical spine helps to support us and is not optional, so we also have a spiritual spine that needs attention for which we cannot live without.

Get support

Other people, like trusted friends and family, can help us make a realistic assessment of the fear and anxiety we are experiencing. With the support of others, we become more confident that we can deal with issues. Finding a church or some other religious gathering can be a fresh means of emotional support.

You are not alone. We are all in this life together. So, let’s rely upon one another and not believe that we just need to pull up ourselves out of impending trouble. There is a God (and God’s people) who are ready to help, if but we just ask.

O God, preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.