Tag: anxiety

Reframe the Situation (Exodus 4:1-9)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?”

Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?”

“A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.

“Throw it down on the ground,” the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back.

Then the Lord told him, “Reach out and grab its tail.” So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand.

“Perform this sign,” the Lord told him. “Then they will believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—really has appeared to you.”

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Now put your hand inside your cloak.” So Moses put his hand inside his cloak, and when he took it out again, his hand was white as snow with a severe skin disease. “Now put your hand back into your cloak,” the Lord said. So Moses put his hand back in, and when he took it out again, it was as healthy as the rest of his body.

The Lord said to Moses, “If they do not believe you and are not convinced by the first miraculous sign, they will be convinced by the second sign. And if they don’t believe you or listen to you even after these two signs, then take some water from the Nile River and pour it out on the dry ground. When you do, the water from the Nile will turn to blood on the ground.” (New Living Translation)

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Victor Frankl

Moses needed a big-time reframing of his situation.

Reframing is a way to help see a situation from a different perspective.

For example, Moses seemed to say to himself, “I’m going to do horrible at communicating to the Israelites that God appeared to me. They’re never going to believe me that I saw God in a burning bush!”

Instead, Moses could reframe the circumstance by saying, “I saw God. I know God is going to deliver the Israelites from their slavery to the Egyptians. I’ve been thinking about this in the backside of the desert for the past 40 years. And God’s got my back to use me here. So, I’ve got this. I can do this!”

But, of course, Moses didn’t say that. He needed a reframing from God that came from some powerful illustrations of the Lord’s ability to change things.

The big reframe for Moses was this: If God can change a staff into a snake, and then turn it back again; and if God can change my hand to be white with leprosy, then turn it back to a healthy hand; then God can certainly change the minds and hearts of the Israelites to accept that I am the Lord’s chosen deliverer from Egyptian bondage.

Whenever we put the onus on our abilities, or lack thereof, in order to alter a situation, then we are likely to have little confidence and a negative outlook.

Yet, when we can do some reframing, and rightly put the emphasis on God’s power and God’s promise, then our faith is placed rightly and we can step forward with courage, knowing it’s ultimately about God, not me.

Moses contends with God about facing the Israelites and convincing them he’s the deliverer. He sees himself as a tongue-tied hick who is only good for moving sheep around. And yet, all these millennia later, we now remember Moses as the one who boldly and repeatedly spoke to Pharaoh and moved an entire nation from Egypt to the Promised Land.

The Lord helped reframe the situation for Moses. Instead of a backward shepherd who was no good at talking, Moses was a magnificently resilient person who was able to reinvent his life multiple times and thrive in each new situation.

Moses survived a murderous decree as a baby, grew up in the Egyptian court, moved to Midian in a completely different existence, and then became perhaps the greatest leader in Jewish history. All of that is the very definition of resilience.

I am willing to surmise that you also need some reframing of your circumstance or even your life. After all, you’ve made it this far in life, and you’re still here. That means you have some significant things going for you. No matter the situation you find yourself in, it’s likely that a good reframe may be needed.

In his book, From Death Camp to Existentialism, Victor Frankl writes of being in a Nazi concentration camp for three years. Everything was taken from him. Frankl’s wife, family, and most of his fellow inmates died. Yet, he survived. And, after the war, he became one of the great psychological healers of our time.

Victor Frankl kept reframing his horrible situation and using his mind for worthy purposes. He survived by using his suffering to help others find hope, to know that no other person or nation can steal his mind from him. Frankl could continually choose his attitude and mindset, irrespective of the circumstances.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Victor Frankl

There are always opportunities to experience life more fully, to become a more integrated and whole person, and to transform what seems daunting into a chance to improve one’s life or the lives of others.

Reframing is neither denial nor positive thinking. Rather, it is an invitation in learning to trust God, in the presence, promise, and power of the divine.

We all discover, like Moses, that life can turn out very differently than we might expect. And along the way, we also find that we reinvent ourselves more than once; and that we are transformed by the seasons of life which we all must pass through.

When we learn to trust the Lord, evermore with each and every adverse situation, we are less likely to be controlled or overcome by moods of pessimism, hopelessness, or resentment. Our prevailing attitude becomes optimistic, as our faith is exercised and proven in the difficult trials of life.

Through his several encounters with God – and then with the people and with Pharaoh – Moses found resources he didn’t know he had. By experiencing a reframe of his life, Moses became the sort of person and leader that we are still talking about 3,500 years later.

So, don’t close your heart and mind to the adversity in front of you. That only leads to bitterness and unhappiness. Instead, open yourself to God and trust the spiritual reality and resources you possess.

Anxious (Genesis 32:3-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Jacob praying for deliverance from his brother Esau, by Gustave Doré (1832-1883)

Jacob sent messengers on ahead to Esau, who lived in the land of Seir, also known as Edom. Jacob told them to say to Esau, “Master, I am your servant! I have lived with Laban all this time, and now I own cattle, donkeys, and sheep, as well as many slaves. Master, I am sending these messengers in the hope that you will be kind to me.”

When the messengers returned, they told Jacob, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is heading this way with 400 men.”

Jacob was so frightened that he divided his people, sheep, cattle, and camels into two groups. He thought, “If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape.”

Then Jacob prayed:

You, Lord, are the God who was worshiped by my grandfather Abraham and by my father Isaac. You told me to return home to my family, and you promised to be with me and make me successful. I don’t deserve all the good things you have done for me, your servant. When I first crossed the Jordan, I had only my walking stick, but now I have two large groups of people and animals. Please rescue me from my brother. I am afraid he will come and attack not only me, but my wives and children as well. But you have promised that I would be a success and that someday it will be as hard to count my descendants as it is to count the grains of sand along the seashore.

After Jacob had spent the night there, he chose some animals as gifts for Esau: 200 female goats and 20 males, 200 female sheep and 20 males, 30 female camels with their young, 40 cows and 10 bulls, and 20 female donkeys and 10 males.

Jacob put servants in charge of each herd and told them, “Go ahead of me and keep a space between each herd.” Then he said to the servant in charge of the first herd, “When Esau meets you, he will ask whose servant you are. He will want to know where you are going and who owns those animals in front of you. So tell him, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob, who is coming this way. He is sending them as a gift to his master Esau.’ ”

Jacob also told the men in charge of the second and third herds and those who followed to say the same thing when they met Esau. And Jacob told them to be sure to say that he was right behind them. Jacob hoped the gifts would make Esau friendly, so Esau would be glad to see him when they met. Jacob’s men took the gifts on ahead of him, but he spent the night in camp. (Contemporary English Version)

Anxiety’s a booger. It arises as an unwanted guest within our psyche, putting pressure on our chest, and becoming a squatter in the pit of our gut. To be anxious is to have a vague sense of dread, anticipating some upcoming threat.

Jacob knew the feeling well. His mind raced with thoughts of what might happen and how to placate Esau when he encountered his brother. Jacob left home two decades earlier to escape Esau’s vengeance. Now their meeting up was imminent. Jacob was scared spitless.

What do you do when distress and dread wrap you in a straitjacket of anxiety?

Avoid avoidance

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding it prevents us from moving forward. It makes us anxious.  One way of facing your fear and/or anxiety is to name it. When fear, anxiety, terror, apprehension, or distress arises, then name it. In naming our fears and anxieties, they become real and, thus, manageable. 

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”

Thict Nhat Hanh (1926-2022)

Another way to face fear is to “sit with it” for a short while. Give yourself permission to feel the anxiety for a set amount of time without judgment or trying to get over it. Pay attention to where you are carrying your anxiety in your body.

Focus on what’s within your control

We cannot control other people. There’s no way Jacob was going to control or manipulate his brother Esau. Many circumstances are outside our control. And yet, we always have the choice of self-control. Giving into addictions, or not facing problems are ways of giving up control of ourselves. Taking good care of ourselves, and focusing on good attitudes are ways of strengthening personal control.

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder in those times when we feel out of control:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Promote a positive mindset

Positive attitudes help us widen our perspective on things – and with a broader view of things comes more awareness of choices. Making wise choices for ourselves now, builds resilience and fortifies us for difficult situations down the road – without succumbing to old unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Find purpose and meaning in life

Experiencing traumatic events might cause us to question whether our lives have meaning, or not. We may feel unnecessary or expendable, and see no meaning for the future. 

So, it’s important to discover or reconnect with the spirituality within you. Take the time and energy to read Scripture, walk through nature, or discuss matters of the spirit with others. Just as our physical spine helps to support us and is not optional, so we also have a spiritual spine that needs attention for which we cannot live without.

Get support

Other people, like trusted friends and family, can help us make a realistic assessment of the fear and anxiety we are experiencing. With the support of others, we become more confident that we can deal with issues. Finding a church or some other religious gathering can be a fresh means of emotional support.

You are not alone. We are all in this life together. So, let’s rely upon one another and not believe that we just need to pull up ourselves out of impending trouble. There is a God (and God’s people) who are ready to help, if but we just ask.

O God, preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Change and Stress (Acts 27:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

When it was decided that we would sail for Italy, Paul and some other prisoners were handed over to a centurion named Julius, who belonged to the Imperial Regiment. We boarded a ship from Adramyttium about to sail for ports along the coast of the province of Asia, and we put out to sea. Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica, was with us.

The next day we landed at Sidon; and Julius, in kindness to Paul, allowed him to go to his friends so they might provide for his needs. From there we put out to sea again and passed to the lee of Cyprus because the winds were against us. When we had sailed across the open sea off the coast of Cilicia and Pamphylia, we landed at Myra in Lycia. There the centurion found an Alexandrian ship sailing for Italy and put us on board. We made slow headway for many days and had difficulty arriving off Cnidus. When the wind did not allow us to hold our course, we sailed to the lee of Crete, opposite Salmone. We moved along the coast with difficulty and came to a place called Fair Havens, near the town of Lasea.

Much time had been lost, and sailing had already become dangerous because by now it was after the Day of Atonement. So Paul warned them, “Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also.” But the centurion, instead of listening to what Paul said, followed the advice of the pilot and of the owner of the ship. Since the harbor was unsuitable to winter in, the majority decided that we should sail on, hoping to reach Phoenix and winter there. This was a harbor in Crete, facing both southwest and northwest. (New International Version)

Change is an emotionally charged word. For some, change is longed for. Those with adverse circumstances and difficult situations may look for change, and even for a miracle to turn their life around. Others want nothing to do with change; they’ve had a bad experience with it. Their fortunes were good, until something changed. And now they’re stressed out.

The majority of us have some sort of love/hate relationship with change – which is why there are people who look askance on Christianity and raise their eyebrow in skepticism toward Christians or religious folk in general. At the heart of Christianity is change, and change can be quite threatening toward a lot of people.

The Apostle Paul perhaps knew about change better than any Christian in history. He went from resisting change with violence, to embracing change so wholeheartedly that he became a victim of other’s violence. We meet him in today’s New Testament lesson as a prisoner being shipped from Palestine to Rome.

Paul’s message, at its core, is the good news of transformation because of Christ’ crucifixion and resurrection. It’s a message of radical and joyous change, of new life. And it’s also a scandalous message which impacts the surrounding culture.

Wherever the gospel of Jesus Christ went, people responded, and it influenced society to a significant degree. Throughout the Acts of the Apostles, political authorities, religious leaders, and cultural elites felt powerful shifts in their societies. Yes, a few became Christians themselves, but most resisted the change, and in some cases, in their irritated stress response, retaliated against believers.

The message of Christianity doesn’t yield to political forces that attempt to domesticate God; and that reality put many believers in the crosshairs of those forces.

Paul’s ability to keep up his witness to Christ, even while held prisoner under powerful Roman authority, comes from a theology that God is above all earthly rule and can make a way where there seems to be no way. In other words, no matter whether human institutions, empires, and structures either acquiesce or oppose the gospel makes no difference; God is able to bend any system and authority for divine purposes.

And this is precisely why the Apostle Paul appears calm, non-anxious, and able to encourage others in the center of a storm in which everyone might lose their lives. Put simply: Paul trusted God.

Yes, we have unwanted circumstances. Yet, if we are able to entrust ourselves to a good God (which may sound trite and easy, yet is anything but that) then we find that we’re also able to have a radical acceptance of the situation we’re presently in.

Faith and trust help us to accept difficult changes and respond to stress with resilience because faith is attentive to the following:

  • Knowing change is coming. Throughout the New Testament we are told that adversity and suffering are an integral part of the Christian life. Paul wasn’t caught by surprise with a storm. In his life, he expected the difficulties to come.

You have seen me experience physical abuse and ordeals in places such as Antioch, Iconium, and Lystra. I put up with all sorts of abuse, and the Lord rescued me from it all! In fact, anyone who wants to live a holy life in Christ Jesus will be harassed. (2 Timothy 3:11-12, CEB)

  • Paying attention to the feelings of self and others. Emotions are not a necessary evil. They play a very important role in helping us come to grips with what’s happening. Paul acknowledged the emotions of everyone on the ship, as well as his own. And this became the pathway to both acceptance and encouragement.

There’s a season for everything
    and a time for every matter under the heavens…

a time for crying and a time for laughing,
    a time for mourning and a time for dancing. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, CEB)

  • Becoming resilient. The ability to adapt, to find ways of surviving and thriving, is buoyed by a robust faith which can see with spiritual eyes and make decisions of faith, hope, and love.

“When I was born into this world,
    I was naked and had nothing.
When I die and leave this world,
    I will be naked and have nothing.
The Lord gives,
    and the Lord takes away.
Praise the name of the Lord!” (Job 1:21, ERV)

Stress and change can be hard and overwhelming. Yet, at the same time, it can be an opportunity to put faith into practice and be a blessing to the world.

Assist us, Lord, in living hopefully into the future. In the face of change, help us to set unnecessary fears aside and to recognize our potential for creative response. Help us to develop a reasonable optimism and to guard against our own defensiveness. Be with us as we remember and celebrate former times, and keep us from unreasonable yearning for them, which takes us from the work you have set before us in our time. All this we ask in the name of your Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Anxiety In the System (Acts 9:1-20)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Ananias restoring sight to Saul, stained glass in St Mary Abbot`s Church, London, UK

Meanwhile, Saul was still spewing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest, seeking letters to the synagogues in Damascus. If he found persons who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, these letters would authorize him to take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. During the journey, as he approached Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven encircled him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice asking him, “Saul, Saul, why are you harassing me?”

Saul asked, “Who are you, Lord?”

“I am Jesus, whom you are harassing,” came the reply. “Now get up and enter the city. You will be told what you must do.”

Those traveling with him stood there speechless; they heard the voice but saw no one. After they picked Saul up from the ground, he opened his eyes but he couldn’t see. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind and neither ate nor drank anything.

In Damascus there was a certain disciple named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, “Ananias!”

He answered, “Yes, Lord.”

The Lord instructed him, “Go to Judas’ house on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias enter and put his hands on him to restore his sight.”

Ananias countered, “Lord, I have heard many reports about this man. People say he has done horrible things to your holy people in Jerusalem. He’s here with authority from the chief priests to arrest everyone who calls on your name.”

The Lord replied, “Go! This man is the agent I have chosen to carry my name before Gentiles, kings, and Israelites. I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”

Ananias went to the house. He placed his hands on Saul and said, “Brother Saul, the Lord sent me—Jesus, who appeared to you on the way as you were coming here. He sent me so that you could see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Instantly, flakes fell from Saul’s eyes and he could see again. He got up and was baptized. After eating, he regained his strength.

He stayed with the disciples in Damascus for several days. Right away, he began to preach about Jesus in the synagogues. “He is God’s Son,” he declared. (Common English Bible)

A telltale sign of spiritual blindness, a lack of awareness, and an unwillingness to change is to put all the focus on another person or group as the real problem of a society.

That’s exactly what Saul did. And that’s precisely why he needed a conversion.

Family Systems Theory

Murray Bowen was an influential psychiatrist of the twentieth century. His family systems theory, also known as Bowen theory, views a family (or any group of persons) as an emotional unit. Within this unit, a change in any of the individual persons results in the others compensating for the emotional functioning that’s been altered. 

Like touching one part of a spider web, the entire thing shakes. Bowen’s focus was that, rather than trying to change the other person, one can change themselves without becoming part of the problem. The theory states that if any family or group member can change their emotional functioning within the system, the whole family will improve its corporate functioning in response to that change. 

In short, we must learn to function in a healthy way within the group system. Personal transformation becomes the best approach to handling family crises and problems.

Saul the Pharisee to Paul the Apostle

Bowen’s statement of the human condition could be said of Saul and his conversion:

“The human is a narcissistic creature who lives in the present and who is more interested in his own square inch of real estate, and more devoted to fighting for his rights than in the multigenerational meaning of life itself. As the human throng becomes more violent and unruly, there will be those who survive it all….  I think the differentiation of self (remaining connected to others, yet separate from their problems) may well be one concept that lives into the future.”

Murray Bowen

Saul the Pharisee was an anxious soul. He was determined to keep the Christian sect from infecting his Jewish way of life. As the followers of Jesus grew, so did the anxiety of Saul and the Pharisees. Saul turned his attention to unhealthy ways of handling the situation – to the point that Christ himself showed up and let Saul know that his harassment needed to stop.

Our Need for Change

Whatever you think of Bowen’s theory, it’s easy to see that anxiety plays a major role in many individuals, families, and even churches. Whenever worry, fear, and anxiety take over a person or group of people, things become emotionally charged. 

The church is an emotional unit. Typically, the response to anything we don’t like is to try and change the other person who is rocking the boat or upsetting the status quo. The converted and changed Apostle Paul learned his lesson about the intricate web of anxious emotions: 

Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, CEB)

Learning to manage our own anxiety, and cope with the incessant worry within ourselves, is imperative to dealing with relational problems in the group. The peace of God, not the peace of others, is what makes the difference. 

People are all for change, that is, we want others to change so that we don’t have to. The Christian, however, is to conform to Jesus, and not the other way around. Because the Lord is near to us, we have a consistent and continual presence to anchor ourselves, no matter whether the circumstances are to my liking, or not. 

Prayer becomes the means of casting anxiety away so that peace can take its place. Sounds easy – it’s anything but.

It’s only human to want everyone else to change when there are problems, adversity, or challenge. Yet the change most needed is quite personal, perhaps even an outright conversion.

Our focus must be on finding ways to remain connected to God and others without resorting to passive-aggressive tactics, cutting-off relationships altogether, or bullying others into changing with our violent or manipulative words.

Faced with unwanted change and/or difficult circumstances, rather than looking for others to alter their lives, try asking yourself one of these questions: 

  • What is one small step I can take to improve my situation?
  • If I were guaranteed not to make the situation worse, what would I do differently?
  • Is there a person in my life whose voice and input I haven’t heard in a long time?
  • What is one positive trait I possess that can serve me well in this situation?

Are there other questions you could ask that would be helpful? A journey that seems a thousand miles must begin with one step. What will that step be?