Tag: acceptance

Face Reality (Numbers 20:22-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Aaron’s Death, by David Roberts, 1842

The whole community of Israel left Kadesh and arrived at Mount Hor. There, on the border of the land of Edom, the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “The time has come for Aaron to join his ancestors in death. He will not enter the land I am giving the people of Israel, because the two of you rebelled against my instructions concerning the water at Meribah. Now take Aaron and his son Eleazar up Mount Hor. There you will remove Aaron’s priestly garments and put them on Eleazar, his son. Aaron will die there and join his ancestors.”

So Moses did as the Lord commanded. The three of them went up Mount Hor together as the whole community watched. At the summit, Moses removed the priestly garments from Aaron and put them on Eleazar, Aaron’s son. Then Aaron died there on top of the mountain, and Moses and Eleazar went back down. When the people realized that Aaron had died, all Israel mourned for him thirty days. (New Living Translation)

There is a tendency for us “enlightened” humans to believe that we are far more advanced than our ancestors – who did not know all that we very smart people today know.

Such a mental stance only demonstrates that perhaps we are getting more stupid as the centuries and the millennia wear on.

Despite all of our accumulated knowledge and research, and incredible technical advances, we have (in my humble opinion) strayed rather far from a wise understanding of anthropology and theology. In other words, many people in this contemporary world have little to no idea about who they are, why they are here, and what to do when life and death happens.

The death of Aaron the priest happened over 3,500 years ago. Yet, here I am, referencing it. Why? Because there is meaning to it. The ancients have a great deal to teach us, that is, if we have the spiritual and emotional ears to hear, and eyes to see. Notice just some of the lessons they continue to teach us…

The Need to Accept Death

Just as we have all been born into this world, we shall all die someday. If we are such an enlightened people, it would seem to me that we all might have highly developed coping skills, strategies, and ways of honoring and accepting the inevitable death of another – not to mention having adequately prepared for our own demise.

And yet, we go on, day after day, as if we will live forever. Then, when someone we care about dies, it’s as if we cannot believe it has happened. But there is only one sure event in this life, and that is death. It is inexorably coming, whether we like it, or not.

It also seems to me that a great deal of contemporary religious piety is shallow, and does not plumb the depths of real spiritual substance. The irony of it, for many, is that they long for heaven, but ignore death. This is nothing but the denial of reality. Our very real lives here and now must be contended with, including the inevitable death to come.

Reality is the one substantial door that must be acknowledged, experienced with all of our senses and emotions, and passed through – not denied. Only through complete acceptance of this world can the greater reality of the world to come be truly known.

Fantasy and endless gospel songs about heaven can only lead us astray. We picture a future of our own imaginations, which deludes and dulls us of how to actually pass from one dimension to another.

Death was a daily reality amongst the Israelites in their forty years of desert wandering. They understood that each individual passing was inextricably connected to the whole of the community.

John Donne was an Anglican priest and poet in seventeenth century England. He was insistent that all humanity is connected, that whatever happens to one of us, happens to all of us. I take some liberties in contemporizing his Old English language written in 1627:

“No one is an island, entirely independent. Every person is a piece of the continent, a part of the main body of land. If a clod of dirt happens to be washed away by the sea, the whole land mass is the less, just as if an entire peninsula fell off into the water. Whether a friend dies, or anyone in the world dies, it diminishes me because I am involved in the whole of humanity. Therefore, never question to know for whom the bell of death tolls; it tolls for you.”

John Donne (1572-1631)

The Need for Bereavement

A story is told of an old Sufi mystic who visited a sheikh in Baghdad. He found the sheikh gazing into a bowl filled with water. So, he inquired about this odd practice. The sheikh replied that he was watching the moon in the basin. To which the Sufi mystic cried out:

“Unless you have a boil on the back of your neck, lift up your head and look at the sky! There you will see the moon as it is, and not in this basin. Why are you leaning over basins, when all you are really doing is depriving yourself of what you are really looking for?”

Sufi Master, 13th century

As a Pastor and Chaplain who engages in a lot of grief support for those who have lost loved ones to death, and who has dealt with hundreds of people with significant emotional issues, I can say that a lot of people’s grief goes unattended. A good many people go looking for comfort, all by themselves, in staring into a bowl of water.

Death is real. And when someone close to us dies, it hurts like hell. It’s as if somebody came along and pulled the rug out from underneath us. We are flat on our backs and unable to get up.

The only way we can get back up is with the help of others. When Aaron died, the entire community mourned for a full month. Perhaps nothing speaks more to the modern delusion of death and grief than of taking a day or two off work, then expecting to return as if nothing ever happened. No wonder so many people end up in significant depression and anxiety.

The Need for God

Ignoring God is what got the Israelites in their predicament of desert wandering in the first place. And it is also what got both Aaron and Moses a refusal by the Lord to enter the Promised Land.

God isn’t some genie in a bottle that we can control, or a divine Santa to receive presents from. Like death, God is a reality that must be contended with. To go your own way, and decide which commands and instructions you’d like to keep, and which one’s you’ll discard, will not end well – not to mention simply stating that there is no God at all.

Humans are creatures, formed by their Creator. Obedience to God is vital, not optional, because the Lord’s presence is much like the unseen and constant force of gravity. You ignore it at your own peril.

Although we have a lot of freedom in how we can live our lives, and the choices we can make, there yet remains a basic way of existence for everyone. And that way is meant for good, not evil; it has its foundation in the character of God. The Lord is pure love, justice, righteousness, and goodness.

Therefore, as people in God’s image and likeness, we too, are to live in a way that is just, right, good, and loving. To not live in this way would be like walking off the roof of your house because you don’t believe in gravity – then blaming God for your broken body (and soul).

The Need for Ritual in Transition

Israel was transitioning from desert wandering to entering the Promised Land. They were also transitioning leadership from Aaron to Eleazar. And it was all acknowledged with rituals to help people make those transitions.

The community did not simply get an email from Moses informing them of a new priest and welcoming Eleazar to the company. There was an extended time of mourning the loss of Aaron, and a meaningful ritual that demonstrated the change of leaders.

Transitions can be hard. But with every change there is a transition time that must be faced and walked through. Rituals can help us with that. If we ignore this reality, we will find ourselves unable to navigate changes that we personally never asked for. 

The following are some things that I have found helpful in handling change and dealing with the transition from one reality to another:

  1. Maintain personal spiritual rituals. If the change is one that I did not choose, then having regular times of silence and solitude, prayer and bible reading, fasting and journaling help me make sense of what is happening and put it in proper perspective.
  2. Maintain personal health rituals. Freaking out by burning the candles at both ends, forgetting to eat sensibly, and ignoring exercise only exacerbates the change and makes the transition time unbearable.  Instead, take the time necessary to remain healthy through proper sleep, nutrition, and activity.
  3. Grieve and ritualize your losses. Lament, I would argue, is a spiritual practice – a necessary one. It is also biblical.  To focus on next steps without acknowledging transition is to set oneself up for later emotional difficulty and/or trauma. Unpack the heart and allow yourself to feel the loss.
  4. Be patient. Rituals cannot be hurried. The Lord cares more about our spiritual growth and character development than avoiding painful transitions. Let God teach you all that you need to learn.

Institutions and faith communities are sometimes notorious for being inflexible and allergic to change. But, after all, they are made up of real flesh and blood people. To struggle with change is to be human.

Let’s first help ourselves to know how to cope with needed transitions so that we can do the important work of transitioning others from one spiritual place to another. 

It’s high time for us to face the reality that the ancients have much to teach us – including ancient literature such as the Bible.

Accept Your Shadow Side (Acts 7:30-40)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

“Forty years later, in the desert near Mount Sinai, an angel appeared to Moses in the flame of a burning bush. When Moses saw it, he was amazed at the sight. As he went to take a closer look, the voice of the Lord called out to him, ‘I am the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.’ Moses shook with terror and did not dare to look.

“Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground. I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groans and have come down to rescue them. Now go, for I am sending you back to Egypt.’

“So God sent back the same man his people had previously rejected when they demanded, ‘Who made you a ruler and judge over us?’ Through the angel who appeared to him in the burning bush, God sent Moses to be their ruler and savior. And by means of many wonders and miraculous signs, he led them out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, and through the wilderness for forty years.

“Moses himself told the people of Israel, ‘God will raise up for you a Prophet like me from among your own people.’Moses was with our ancestors, the assembly of God’s people in the wilderness, when the angel spoke to him at Mount Sinai. And there Moses received life-giving words to pass on to us.

“But our ancestors refused to listen to Moses. They rejected him and wanted to return to Egypt. They told Aaron, ‘Make us some gods who can lead us, for we don’t know what has become of this Moses, who brought us out of Egypt.’ (New Living Translation)

We humans are a confusing paradox of sinner and saint. We are majestic people, created in the image and likeness of a good God. We are also profoundly fallen, touched by sin in every area of our lives. Our hearts exist with both light and darkness, having the capacity for both incredible altruism as well as inexplicable evil.

So then, it will do no good to retreat into binary definitions of people as being either good or bad. No, we shine and shadow at the same time. What really gets us into a terrible mess is when we ignore or deny our shadow selves. We then demonize the other while claiming purity for ourselves.

This is precisely what occurred when Stephen stood and spoke to a group of his fellow Jews. They stubbornly refused to acknowledge their shadow side. And it resulted in Stephen’s stoning and death. Whereas Stephen lifted and brought to light the unseemly aspects of their collective heritage, the people wanted nothing to do with it.

The Martyrdom of Stephen

In our present day, responses that do not want to acknowledge the shadow side include statements such as, “Quit being so negative. We focus on the positive. Expel this recalcitrant troublemaker once and for all!”

Oy. Acceptance cuts two ways. We must accept both our blessings and our curses. The acceptance of reality will not occur apart from a solid self-acceptance of who we are and how we are feeling in any given situation. On the practical level, it works something like the following story…

Several years ago, I went on a leadership retreat in the Canadian wilderness. We were so far out in the sticks that we needed special first aid training before leaving because if someone got severely injured it would be hours before any medical attention could be received. There was no cell phone service, no towns, no anything except mile after square mile of wilderness. 

One day, I was canoeing with a group of leaders, far out into the Canadian wilderness where there were no towns or people anywhere near us. It was very windy on this day in late May – which meant the water was still ice cold in Canada. One of the canoes capsized. We had to act quickly and deliberately – which was no small feat in a stiff wind. More than fifteen minutes would result in hypothermia for the two people in the water.

I did not like being in that situation. In fact, I didn’t much like the Canadian wilderness. Too many black flies and giant mosquitoes for me. My shadow side was coming out. But here I was, and I had to accept the reality I was in. One of the lessons I learned in that moment was that acceptance can sit alongside other reactions and emotions.

For example, a person can be outraged by an injustice, as Stephen was, and accept that it is a reality. Acceptance does not mean complacency or giving up. We can accept something while at the same time trying to make it better.

I also needed to accept what was happening inside of me. I was cold and worried. Trying to push those feelings away would have only added to the stress of the situation. If I failed to accept what was true about myself, I would be less able to deal with the situation, and so, would compromise my ability to help two people at risk.

I needed to accept the entire circumstance, including myself. Accepting what is inside gave me more influence over the situation, not less. Self-acceptance became the key to acceptance of unwanted conditions, and more importantly, acceptance of one another as human beings.

In that moment of rescuing two people (which ultimately proved successful) I became aware of a part of myself – the part that gets afraid and irritated – and chose not to stuff it or deny its existence.

I became the guy who talked to the panicked people in the water and kept them as calm as possible so that the others could get them out. I was able to do my part to help fearful people because I acknowledged and accepted my own fear.

Unlike my situation, however, Stephen’s experience ended in martyrdom. Just because we respond rightly, is no guarantee that everything will work out for our benefit. Rather, we say and do the things we must say and do, while leaving the results to a sovereign Lord.

It is our responsibility to work on ourselves, not others. And acceptance is the path to get there, all of it – including the shadow side – and not just part of it.

Jesus, let your mighty calmness lift me above my fears and frustrations. By your deep patience, give me tranquility and stillness of soul in you. Make me in this, and in all things, more and more like you. Amen.

Accept the Situation (Jeremiah 30:12-22)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

“This is what the Lord says:

“‘Your wound is incurable,
    your injury beyond healing.
There is no one to plead your cause,
    no remedy for your sore,
    no healing for you.
All your allies have forgotten you;
    they care nothing for you.
I have struck you as an enemy would
    and punished you as would the cruel,
because your guilt is so great
    and your sins so many.
Why do you cry out over your wound,
    your pain that has no cure?
Because of your great guilt and many sins
    I have done these things to you.

“‘But all who devour you will be devoured;
    all your enemies will go into exile.
Those who plunder you will be plundered;
    all who make spoil of you I will despoil.
But I will restore you to health
    and heal your wounds,’
declares the Lord,
‘because you are called an outcast,
    Zion for whom no one cares.’

“This is what the Lord says:

“‘I will restore the fortunes of Jacob’s tents
    and have compassion on his dwellings;
the city will be rebuilt on her ruins,
    and the palace will stand in its proper place.
From them will come songs of thanksgiving
    and the sound of rejoicing.
I will add to their numbers,
    and they will not be decreased;
I will bring them honor,
    and they will not be disdained.
Their children will be as in days of old,
    and their community will be established before me;
    I will punish all who oppress them.
Their leader will be one of their own;
    their ruler will arise from among them.
I will bring him near and he will come close to me—
    for who is he who will devote himself
    to be close to me?’
declares the Lord.
“‘So you will be my people,
    and I will be your God.’” (New International Version)

Jeremiah, by Marc Chagall, 1956

Once in a while, I get a response from a patient in the hospital who was given a poor diagnosis, or a very challenging prognosis, that goes something like this: “These doctors are always focusing on the negative. I’m only going to listen to the positive. I don’t need all that negative talk and energy.”

I believe in things like hope, optimism, and confidence. Yet, those qualities can only be acquired through the purgative force of hard circumstances and suffering. That means, in order to truly embrace the positive and encouraging, we need to first sit with the negative and discouraging realities in front of us.

Bottom line: It hurts to heal. Cuts need peroxide. Serious wounds need to be vacuumed. Severe internal issues require a surgery – being opened up – with a surgical knife, in order to get the body in a position to heal itself.

I find it curious that so many folks who believe in the Bible have never read the Old Testament prophets.

And very few preachers have never even given a sermon from the prophets. “It’s too gloom and doom, too negative. I focus on the positive and build up the church with New Testament truth!”

So, how’s that working for you? If there is a spiritual cancer that needs removal, it’s going to take some pain and hard treatment. And that is a lot of “negative” stuff.

There wouldn’t be a New Testament without an Old. I am suggesting that perhaps one reason why there is so much spiritual immaturity amongst many churches and Christians is that there is a lot of biblical illiteracy, due to the neglect of the prophets.

Without the prophets, we do not get a true feel for the pathos of God; that is, the Lord’s spiritual and emotional energy against injustice and oppression. And, practically speaking, it leaves us with neither resources nor skills to cope with adversity and trouble when it comes.

What do you do when you – or someone you love – hears that they have an incurable disease or condition?

Those without a solid grounding in the biblical prophets will likely want to rush to the places in Scripture that talk of answers to prayer and miracles and resurrections. But little do they realize that one cannot experience life apart from death, that there is no resurrection without a crucifixion, no positive glory without negative suffering.

No healing can take place if there is no pain of a cross.

Conversely, those who have become familiar with the message of the prophets are sure to respond to the incurable situation with expressions of personal grief and public lament, with humility and submission to the will of God.

Prayers will arise from deep within them that are grounded in the justice of God, and rely upon the promises of God. They will look to their inner spirit, without outwardly blaming God and medical staff for being uncaring and negative.

And, most of all, the spiritually and prophetically aware person will lean into their prodigious support system of a loving and gracious God, as well as the many persons who want to help.

The mature believer engages in a combination of submission and subversion – submitting completely to the will and ways of God, while simultaneously praying against the unfairness of disease, disaster, and death.

Healing and restoration will happen. The kicker is that we just don’t know the timing of any of it. We may not realize healing until the next life. Then again, we might experience a dramatic restoration of health and happiness, far beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.

The wise person learns to be patient, and wait for the proper time. They are comfortable with whatever timetable the Lord has for them. For what is most important to them is that they are close to the God who is near to the brokenhearted.

If we are guilty, we admit it, and seek to repair whatever damage may have been done. And if we are innocent, well then, we admit that we are not our own, but belong, both body and soul, to our faithful Creator.

Even in pain, we rest; even though suffering, we are at peace.

Accept the situation as it is, and not as you want it to be.

O God of love, you are the true sun of the world, evermore risen and never going down: We pray you to shine in our hearts and drive away the darkness of sin and the mist of error. We pray that we may, this day and all our lives long, walk without stumbling in the way you have prepared for us, which is Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God in glory everlasting. Amen. – A prayer of Erasmus of Rotterdam (1466-1536)

Loneliness and Silence (Jeremiah 20:7-13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year B1 Comment
The Prophet Jeremiah, by Marc Chagall, 1956

O Lord, you misled me,
    and I allowed myself to be misled.
You are stronger than I am,
    and you overpowered me.
Now I am mocked every day;
    everyone laughs at me.
When I speak, the words burst out.
    “Violence and destruction!” I shout.
So these messages from the Lord
    have made me a household joke.
But if I say I’ll never mention the Lord
    or speak in his name,
his word burns in my heart like a fire.
    It’s like a fire in my bones!
I am worn out trying to hold it in!
    I can’t do it!
I have heard the many rumors about me.
    They call me “The Man Who Lives in Terror.”
They threaten, “If you say anything, we will report it.”
    Even my old friends are watching me,
    waiting for a fatal slip.
“He will trap himself,” they say,
    “and then we will get our revenge on him.”

But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior.
    Before him my persecutors will stumble.
    They cannot defeat me.
They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated.
    Their dishonor will never be forgotten.
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
you test those who are righteous,
    and you examine the deepest thoughts and secrets.
Let me see your vengeance against them,
    for I have committed my cause to you.
Sing to the Lord!
    Praise the Lord!
For though I was poor and needy,
    he rescued me from my oppressors. (New Living Translation)

Jeremiah was a lonely man.

In reality, loneliness has little to do with geography. A person can be surrounded by people, and yet still be lonely. Loneliness is the personal sense that either no one cares, or that nobody is taking me seriously. To be alone means that a person doesn’t have another human being to share their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with. Nobody wants to listen.

That’s how the prophet felt. Jeremiah was called by God to preach a message to the city of Jerusalem. He was faithful to do it. However, the message was very unpopular. Jeremiah was discounted, dismissed, and dissociated from others.

So, how would you feel in a similar situation?

The Prophet Jeremiah by Michelangelo, c.1545

Jeremiah felt almost betrayed by the Lord. He understood that the message would be tough to swallow by the people. What’s more, God even promised Jeremiah that no one would respond, nobody was going to repent, and not one person would listen and take the prophet seriously. In short, God let Jeremiah know up front that he was embarking on a very lonely ministry. (Jeremiah 1:4-19)

And it was this loneliness that began to gnaw at the prophet Jeremiah. Yet, what was he really going to do about it? After all, Jeremiah was compelled to speak. He just could not simply hold it in. The message was like fire in his belly; he had to let it out!

The prophet’s calling and life’s work bubbled up and out of him, no matter what he did to try and keep a lid on it. Whenever Jeremiah would try and walk away and say, “Forget it! No more God-Messages to the people from me!” then the words from God burned inside of him.

The hot furnace within had to find the outlet of preaching because Jeremiah was worn out trying to keep God’s words domesticated within him.

Maybe you can relate in some small way. It isn’t always easy talking about God to others, let alone talking about some subject other people really don’t want to hear. Yet, as the people of God, we discover it’s more painful to keep it inside than it is letting it out and taking the consequences as they may come.

Or it could be that you resonate with Jeremiah’s trying to distance himself from God. You were hurt, wounded in some way, and no matter how hard you run from God, your inner sacred space will not leave you alone – it relentlessly tracks you down and hounds you, barking to be heard and expressed.

What then should we do? How, then, shall we live? Don’t keep silent. Speak! Let your voice out. Say what is important to you. Because ignoring it, wishing that it would go away, or believing God will give-up on you isn’t going to happen.

At some point, there must be an acceptance of the way things are, and not what we want them to be. If others are not taking me seriously, nor listening at all to what I am saying, then this doesn’t mean that I remain silent. There are plenty of folks around who want that; they just want you to keep your mouth shut. But you have a voice – and your voice needs to be heard.

When the blind man, Bartimaeus, voiced his need out loud in the crowd, nobody took him seriously. People told him to shut up and leave Jesus alone. But Bartimaeus wasn’t having it. He simply lifted his voice louder. He wanted to be heard by Jesus, and he didn’t care if it upset the folks around him. (Mark 10:46-52)

Perhaps you will have to go it alone, or speak without anyone’s help. Well, then, that’s what you do. If your gut is crying out inside of you to speak, then speak! Not all silence is golden. Sometimes silence is a sign that someone is being oppressed and not allowed to talk – or, at least, isn’t being listened to.

God called Jeremiah to proclaim some very inconvenient interruptions to the people’s delusional thoughts. It left the prophet alone and hurt. But there was a message that needed proclaiming.

There are times when silence only ends up protecting the privileged over the underprivileged. The Old Testament prophets speak into this environment of unjust actions and unloving words.

Unspoken words that need to be heard by others will only fester inside your gut, that is, until you speak out. Then, when we do let the words out, let’s make sure it is precisely the message that has been locked up and kept silent. It doesn’t matter whether it is unpopular, or not; what matters is that the voice God gave you has a chance to be heard.

God Almighty, you have your ways in this world, and they don’t always make sense to me. Sticking my fingers in my ears trying to pretend you are not there isn’t working – my heart burns within me. So, help me to speak with all the confidence of the message I have, through Jesus Christ my Lord, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.