Category: Christian Spirituality Blog

Violence Against Women

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog1 Comment

shame-image

The harassment, abuse, and assault of women is now rightly being discussed by all kinds of people.  It is high time that this is becoming front and center to public awareness.  Far too many times, and for far too long women have endured shaming silence, too afraid to talk for a whole host of reasons in all kinds of contexts from the workplace, the home, and the church.  There are also far too many places where women are not being taken seriously and are dismissed with no policies, procedures, and protocols in place for them to have any recourse.  That needs to change.

Let’s define some terms when it comes to violence against women so that we are on the same page:

Harassment – Any unwelcome advances or requests for favors or any conduct of a sexual nature which intimidates, bullies, or affects a woman’s ability to work effectively, worship joyfully, or live without fear of being blacklisted.

Abuse – Any intent by a boss, church leader, spouse, or person in authority to intimidate or control either by threat or by use of physical force on a woman, her children, and/or her property by inducing fear.

Assault – Any act in which someone sexually touches a woman without her consent, or coerces, or physically forces her to engage in a sexual act against her will.

The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women  states, “violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women… and, violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position compared with men.”

Harassment, abuse, and assault of women, whether in speech and/or action, is violence.  We need to put it in those persons so that we can unequivocally say without hesitation in our words and policies that there is a “zero tolerance” for violence of any kind here.

Sometimes churches are the last to develop the needed language and protocol for dealing with violence against women.  Many times, the church is the perpetrator through twisted webs of family-based power, clerical abuse, board indifference, biblical misinterpretation, and outright denial.  That needs to change.

This need for change is why I am pleased my own Christian denomination, The Reformed Church in America, through its Women’s Transformation & Leadership Commission, has crafted a well-written statement on the subject.  I am providing a partial text of the document here, with a link to the full text it at the bottom.  Also, I provide a link to The Christian Reformed Church in North America’s Safe Church program, which helps churches implement safe practices, policies, and procedures.

#WeAreSpeaking

A call to the church to end harassment, abuse, and sexual violence against women and girls

From the earliest story of our faith, God has painted a picture of a reality in which women and men together reflect the image of God. In Genesis 1:26-27, God establishes a vision—a vision God calls very good—of a world where men and women alike are treated with dignity, respect, and love as people created in God’s image.

And yet, not long after that vision was cast, an insidious narrative took its place. For far too long, women and girls have been victims of harassment, abuse, and sexual violence rather than being treated with the dignity God intended for them. Women have shared their stories of pain, only to have those stories fall on ears that did not wish to hear. Many women who dared to speak have been mocked and vilified.

A culture of shame and secrecy has stifled the voices of countless others (men and boys included). These people have not felt safe to share their stories because of the very real fear that their lives would be destroyed by those in positions of power. This culture has begun to shift in recent days and weeks, and we in the church are obligated to listen and respond.

We find ourselves in a pivotal moment. Social movements like the women’s march or the hashtags #timesup and #metoo show that people are grappling with how to respond to these stories of pain. Each story of #metoo has reverberated in hearts, in lives, in communities, and throughout the world. These stories have even come from within the church, which we see with the hashtag #churchtoo.

We believe the church must find its voice and speak….

If we keep silent, we are complicit in the continued dehumanization of women and girls.

If we keep silent, we fail to be coworkers with Christ in the renewal of the world and of the relationships between men and women.

If we keep silent, we ignore God’s call to be agents of change committed to ensuring that all people are treated with dignity.

We are speaking because we are committed to standing with and for women and girls who have experienced harassment, abuse, and sexual violence.

We are speaking because we are committed to seeking healthy ways for men and women to live and work together.

We are speaking, even if words fail us and our anxieties leave us uncertain about what we can do.

We are speaking because of our Christian convictions and because of the kind of world in which we want to live. When one part of the body is mistreated, the whole body is mistreated. When one person suffers, we all suffer.

We, as women and men, as children of God, as a church, courageously stand together against any word, deed, or policy that diminishes the dignity of women and girls in our communities….

Reformed Church in America #wearespeaking

Safe Church

The Sixth Sense of Spirituality

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

newborn baby

There are times you have no explanation for what is happening.  There are no real words to describe the experience you went through.  That’s because your five senses (taste, sight, touch, smell, and sound), although alert and reliable with taking-in all kinds of sensory data, are simply inadequate to explain the transcendent situation.

I was once talking with an agnostic person who became a father for the first time.  He was fresh off the incredible experience of being in the room with his wife when she gave birth to their son.  Bill (not his real name) was flush with enthusiasm.  He took in the sight of his newborn baby boy, held him and touched him for the first time, and joyfully listened to his very first screams of new life in this great big world.  Bill described it all to me with such awe.  Then he said something to me that I haven’t forgotten: “I don’t know how to explain it, Tim.  Something spiritual happened when my son was born, something I can’t put into words.  All I can say is that I experienced something that was not of this world.”

Something not of this world.  That was Bill’s way of saying that he had no mental categories from which to draw from to give any kind of sensory explanation to the awesome reality of being right there in childbirth.  Our five senses do not tell the whole story.  As important as our ability to taste, see, touch, smell, and hear is, there are other ways of knowing and experiencing life.

Faith and spirituality are the sixth sense which enable us to discern and know things about ourselves, this world, and God – that we would not know with only our five senses.  There is a spiritual reality that transcends the physical.  The soul, whether we acknowledge we have one or not, is the place of communion with this unseen reality.  The inner person is where we meet-up with God and find a vast world of spiritual resources which boggle the five senses.  Somehow, we know this is true, even though we cannot explain it.

Jesus said, “The Spirit is the one who gives life! Human strength can do nothing.”  In other words, God is Spirit and he gives meaning, connection, relationship, and even physical life.  Human abilities cannot ultimately do this.  Yes, we do have biological explanations for human attraction, marriage, and where babies come from.  But this is not the whole story.  There is a transcendent reality behind it all that gives life meaning and purpose.

God reaching for humanity

There are times, once-in-awhile, when the unique, the astonishing, and the beautiful grab us.  Our souls spring to life.  We “see” the transcendent, and get an awesome glimpse of this place where the physical and the spiritual “touch.” We “taste” that the Lord is good, and “hear” the call to a deeper experience of recognizing the care and compassion of Christ.  We take in a deep breath and “smell” the aroma of him who created us in his image and likeness.

Let your senses draw in all the wonderful information it can.  But don’t stop there.  Allow your soul to drink in the spiritual, and feed your inner person with Jesus Christ, who saves us from the sinful and the mundane, and lifts us to the world of the Spirit where there is life, hope, and infinite love.

On the Need for Metaphysicians

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

metaphysician

Hospitals and health clinics are probably not on your A-list of fun places to hang out.  But you go.  Maybe begrudgingly, and perhaps because your spouse or significant other insisted or even made threats.  You and I go because we recognize the need.  When there is a change in our health, or an emergency arises, or even because we understand its good to get an annual physical, we take the time out of our lives to go.  What’s more, we in the U.S. are blessed with some of the best healthcare in the world.  You know the importance and the need for competent physicians who have a good bedside manner.

All of that is for our bodies.  Yet, we are not one-dimensional blobs of protoplasm who walk around needing our cells fixed once-in-awhile.  We are living breathing human beings with as much need for doctors of the soul as we need doctors for the body.  To ignore that we need competent “metaphysicians” [more than just the physical] with a good bedside manner is to not recognize the high value of the unseen inner person.

In some ways I feel like the old country doctor you see in Westerns – patching up people who got shot in the street in a gunfight – and getting paid with a bushel of apples or a basket of eggs.  I admit I would much rather operate (pun intended) more like the modern-day family physician who insists on annual physicals, med checks, and makes good referrals to other competent professionals.

Imagine with me if you saw as much importance to go to your local pastor to get an adjustment for your soul as you did going to your local chiropractor for a back adjustment; if you believed there was value in scheduling an annual “metaphysical” on your calendar; and, if you were faithful to take some needed biblical medicine every day and come in every so often to your soul doctor for a check to see how it was all going.

I can hear some of your objections.  Yes, I know that there are a great many metaphysical quack pastors out there who only give unhelpful panaceas and have questionable educational credentials.  But that doesn’t take away from your need to find a good metaphysician and stick with him/her.  They are out there, and there are a lot of good ones.

Jesus said, “Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body…” (Matthew 10:28).  It’s important and necessary to care for your body; to address disease; to do the things necessary to restore your health through medication, surgery, and/or therapy.  It is equally important to care for your soul; to address the sickness of your heart; and to do the things necessary to restore your spiritual health through metaphysical therapy.

You need to schedule an appointment – maybe with your physician – but also, and just as necessary with your metaphysician.  Even if you’re feeling fine.  Get that annual metaphysical and catch any warning signs of danger in the future of your spiritual health and well-being….  What are you waiting for?

Create New Experiences

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment

trail riding horses

My wife grew up around horses.  They’re almost second nature to her.  When she was young, each kid had their own horse.  It was a daily ritual to go riding when the weather permitted.  After we were married and had kids of our own, horse culture was still important.  I learned to enjoy watching rodeos, bull riding, and barrel racing.  Even though we lived in the city, the annual sojourns back to the country led to our own girls learning to ride.  My father-in-law, while not the horse whisperer, knows horses quite well.  He knows a lot about what it takes for any person to ride and care for such powerful and majestic animals.

To ride a horse means to learn, and to learn means falling off the horse and/or being thrown from a horse.  I never saw my father-in-law so adamant and tough than when each of my girls fell off the horse for the first time.  They didn’t want to get back on.  But Grandpa more than insisted – he commanded them back on that horse with some very firm instructions on what to do.

Grandpa knew, as all horse people do, that its important to get back on for two reasons:

  1. You have got to create a new experience with the horse so that you will overcome the bad experience; and,
  2. The horse needs a new experience with the rider so that he doesn’t get the idea that the old experience is the norm.

I don’t pretend to be a horse guy, but I’ve come to appreciate how to ride and how necessary it is to not let old experiences and spirited horses dictate the way things are going to go.  I’ve learned to take charge of a powerful animal and discovered the enjoyment of being in rhythm with a horse.  If you have a bad experience – whether it’s with a horse, a person, an event, a group, or a circumstance – it is vital you create new experiences.

Daily chronic bad situations and experiences is not healthy.  I’ve come to discover, and maybe you have, too, that emotional vitality and health will only come with some good solid positive new experiences that strengthen and reinforce your faith and spirituality. 

The Apostle Paul mentored Timothy (and numerous others) in the teachings of Jesus and the craft of ministry.  He did it because he knew that young persons need new experiences under the tutelage of an experienced mentor.  Paul also did it because Jesus intensively mentored twelve disciples, not to mention an entire coterie of men and women who followed him.

People, no matter where they’re from, need the encouragement to begin a new experience, and someone to come alongside and help them when it’s needed.  That’s important because every one of us has fallen off the horse at one time or another.  Some people have fallen badly and required surgery with a long time of healing or convalescence.  They especially need new experiences.   Its more than understandable that they’re afraid.  Yet,

Fear cannot dictate what needs to happen any more than a horse should call the shots about what happens when riding.

Even when you have a bad experience, you can look at it, learn from it, and celebrate the new knowledge of things.  Then, you have the choice to move on.  You can be, and maybe should be, ruthless about purging things, including experiences, that don’t serve you well.

Find new ways and experiences that do serve you well.

That will take some experimentation and the freedom to allow yourself to fail and fall off the horse.  Maybe it means saying “yes” to something you’ve been saying “no” to.  Maybe it means taking the step of doing something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t had the gumption to do.  Maybe there is just some old negative stuff cluttering your mind and rambling around in your heart, and you, like me, need to do some early Spring cleaning with some new thoughts and experiences.

Today is the day, my friend.  Go ahead and walk with me.  Let’s take some small steps.  Tomorrow, we’ll take some more.  The next day, we’ll get rid of some more stuff and take another step.  I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.  You just need somebody telling you, commanding you, to get back on that horse and create a new experience.  Do it to the glory of God, for the blessing of others, and to serve yourself well.