Parable of the Ten Bridesmaids (Matthew 25:1-13)

The Parable of the Ten Virgins, by Lilibeth Kindle

“When the end comes, the kingdom of heaven will be like ten bridesmaids. They took their oil lamps and went to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. The foolish bridesmaids took their lamps, but they didn’t take any extra oil. The wise bridesmaids, however, took along extra oil for their lamps. Since the groom was late, all the bridesmaids became drowsy and fell asleep.

“At midnight someone shouted, ‘The groom is here! Come to meet him!’ Then all the bridesmaids woke up and got their lamps ready.

“The foolish ones said to the wise ones, ‘Give us some of your oil. Our lamps are going out.’

“But the wise bridesmaids replied, ‘We can’t do that. There won’t be enough for both of us. Go! Find someone to sell you some oil.’

“While they were buying oil, the groom arrived. The bridesmaids who were ready went with him into the wedding hall, and the door was shut.

“Later the other bridesmaids arrived and said, ‘Sir, sir, open the door for us!’

“But he answered them, ‘I don’t even know who you are!’

“So stay awake because you don’t know the day or the hour. (God’s Word Translation)

Here’s the point of Christ’s parable, up front, so that we know what we are dealing with:

We prepare for things we really care about; we anticipate things that are important to us.

For example, people who really care about hunting make careful preparations for the season and anticipate opening day. Those who care about professional football look forward to game-day, plan for special food to eat, and set aside normal activities to watch them play.

And, of course, weddings are events that take lots of preparation because families care about the upcoming marriage. Since I have raised three girls, I can testify first-hand that wedding plans begin in third grade for many females.

The Wise and the Foolish Virgins, by Charles Haslewood Shannon, 1920

Here’s the point of Christ’s parable, stated in the negative: People show up to things unprepared mostly because they don’t value the event enough to be ready for it.

Casual hunters and fair-weather football fans go home when it gets too cold. That’s because they are not adequately prepared for the conditions.

Quickie weddings happen in Las Vegas where two people are not prepared to have a marriage for a lifetime. 

People drop out of impromptu events when there is no fun or gets too hard. However, if they really care about it, they prepare for it, have patience through it, and persevere in it when things get tough.

The true test of authentic commitment comes when things are not easy and it takes blood, sweat, and tears to see something through.

A Christian is one who not only professes Christ as Lord and Savior, but also backs the words up with a resolve to:

  • live into their baptism
  • avail themselves of communion
  • plan and prepare for both personal and public worship
  • make it their aim to love God, one another, and neighbor

There are few human events more freighted with emotion and preparation than weddings. Parents invest a lot of time, energy, resources, and love to have a meaningful wedding for their kids. There’s also the potential for disaster at a wedding.

A Greek Orthodox fresco of Jesus and the Parable of the Ten Virgins

Since I have done many weddings, I can tell you that a lot of things go sideways in the preparation process and even at the wedding itself. I have seen bridesmaids pass out, grooms forget the ring, and families fight like cats and dogs in the narthex just as the bride is ready to come down the aisle. All kinds of crazy stuff can happen with a wedding. 

At my own wedding, the bridesmaids were literally sown into their dresses by the seamstress just hours before the wedding; one of my groomsman did not show up because, I later found out, he was in jail; and, we were married on the hottest and most humid day of the year – 100 degrees – which did not go so well for a bunch of women trying to have their best ever hair day.

But you know what? We got married anyway. The wedding happened because it was important to us. I think it’s interesting that Jesus chose a parable about a wedding to tell us what the kingdom of God is really like. Weddings in Christ’s day were just as prone to mishap, maybe even more, than weddings today.

In ancient Israel, a couple would become engaged but not set a wedding date. The groom would take the time to busily prepare a home for himself and his bride to live. It might take days, or weeks, or months, even years. It is this imagery that Jesus picked up to communicate his point of being prepared for things we care about. 

No one knew when the groom would be finished with preparations. (Note: We are told in the Gospel of John that Jesus the bridegroom is busy preparing for a great wedding feast at the end of the age when he will come back and take us to be with him forever).

When the groom was ready, he left the home he had prepared and went to the bride’s house. Then, the two of them, along with their wedding party, would have a grand procession through the streets of the town, almost always after dark, and then back to the home of the groom. So, oil lamps were important to have ready, and on standby.

Here is the parable’s setting: The groom has left his house and begun his trek through town. He might come straightaway, and he might not, depending on what route he takes. The bridesmaids (virgins) have their oil lamps ready. Five of them have plenty of oil, and five of them do not.

The groom takes the circuitous route, so the virgins fell asleep waiting. At midnight the groom finally shows up at the bride’s house. Five virgins spring into action and are ready. The other five aren’t ready, at all. 

The five virgins without enough oil go out to find or buy some more, while the five virgins with plenty of oil join the celebration. The procession goes back to the groom’s house, posthaste, before the five virgins who were not part of the procession finally catch up to them at the house.

The five foolish bridesmaids knock on the door and expect to get in. But the door is shut and it isn’t going to be opened. The marriage will happen without them. Therefore, the bottom line of the story: The five foolish virgins were not ready because they did not care enough to be prepared.

Orthodox icon of Jesus and the Parable of the Ten Virgins

This, at face value, might seem harsh. Yet, in Christ’s time, not having the oil needed for the lamps would be like, in our day, having half the bridesmaids show up at the wedding at the last minute in jeans and t-shirts without having done their hair and expecting to stand up with the bride. No bride or groom and their family in our culture is going to roll with that kind of behavior. Why? Because it is deeply offensive.

As in all of Christ’s parables, the characters represent the people listening. The five wise and five foolish bridesmaids point to the mixed characters who were following Jesus. They consisted of both faithful authentic disciples of Jesus, as well as wedding crashers who were not there because they valued and respected Jesus.

Jesus told us to keep watch, because we do not know the day or the hour when he will return. So, today’s parable raises the big question: Are you prepared? 

We are to maintain constant vigilance, being always alert for Jesus to show up. It’s one thing to make a profession of Christ; and it is quite another thing to live each day doing God’s will and being prepared for Jesus to return.

Jesus wants more than fair-weather Christians. 

We cannot assume someone else will give us oil. No one can simply rely on another person to have everything they need to live the Christian life. Each one of us must listen and learn from God’s Word for ourselves, cultivate a life of prayer, and serve the church and the world in ways God has called us to – without relying on someone else to do the work that I should be doing. 

Every day is a fresh opportunity and privilege to serve Jesus. My personal practice is to rise each morning by 4:30am. I light a candle and spend some quiet unhindered time reading the lectionary passages for the day. I spend time in prayer. Throughout the day I pause to intentionally connect with God in prayer and some Scripture reading. 

I get up early in the morning regardless of how I feel. I engage in spiritual disciplines even when it does not strike my fancy. I go to work and do what it takes to get myself in a position to be a blessing to others.

Now, let’s come back to the message of Christ’s parable: We prepare for things we really care about, and we anticipate things that are important to us. The return of Jesus is a future reality. It’s up to each of us, whether it will be on our spiritual radar, or not.

Yet, I can tell you this: Jesus wants us to watch and pray, and to be prepared, because today the bridegroom may show up.

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