Tag: vulnerability

Accept Accountability (Genesis 35:22-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment

So then, each one of us will be held accountable. (Romans 14:12)

While Israel lived in that land, Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine, and Israel heard of it.

Now the sons of Jacob were twelve. The sons of Leah: Reuben (Jacob’s firstborn), Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. The sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s maid: Dan and Naphtali. The sons of Zilpah, Leah’s maid: Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob who were born to him in Paddan-aram.

Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre, or Kiriath-arba, that is, Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac had resided as aliens. Now the days of Isaac were one hundred eighty years. And Isaac breathed his last; he died and was gathered to his people, old and full of days, and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him. (New International Version Updated Edition)

For me, one of the great tragedies of the human experience is that we share so little of ourselves to and for one another. And that especially goes for those times when we fail, make a poor decision, or feel guilty for not being a better person.

It seems that in those times we gravitate toward covering up whatever misdeeds we have done. Why do we do that? There’s a myriad of answers to that question. There are many folks who simply do want to be held accountable for their wrongdoing – not to mention the shame and embarrassment the action may bring to them. They would like to keep some sort of manufactured pristine image to project for the world, instead of what’s really going on.

I like that the Bible is mostly straightforward about issues concerning accountability (both at the personal, and especially at the corporate level). It’s hard to live in a safe and enjoyable society whenever there is a lack of accountability within the community.

In today’s Old Testament lesson, we get this seemingly isolated verse thrown into the mix of a Scripture story. But it’s an important insertion. It has consequences to its actions, with the sort of ramifications that reverberate throughout time.

Reuben was the firstborn son of Jacob – which carried with it a whole set of responsibilities, as well as privileges. Yet, Reuben did something that left him accountable before both his earthly and heavenly fathers. He “lay with” his father’s concubine (that is, a lesser wife) who was not his own mother.

We aren’t told why Reuben did it. But I think we are meant to read between the lines enough to know why.

What eventually happens is that Reuben loses his family status. At the end of Jacob’s life – as he was doling out blessings to each son – he had this to say about Reuben:

Assemble and hear, O sons of Jacob;
    listen to Israel your father.

Reuben, you are my firstborn,
    my might and the first fruits of my vigor,
    excelling in rank and excelling in power.
Unstable as water, you shall no longer excel
    because you went up onto your father’s bed;
    then you defiled it—you went up onto my couch! (Genesis 49:2-4, NRSVUE)

Unfortunately, this fails to sound like the sort of blessing one would want to hear at the end of his father’s life. But that’s what accountability does; it makes sure that the offense is put squarely on the perpetrator, and not the victim.

For me, one of the maddening things about today’s political climate is that personal wrongdoers, along with the institutional evils surrounding them, have no thought or appetite for being accountable to the very people to whom they are supposed to be serving. It’s as if public service and the value of the nation’s common good isn’t even in the current presidential cabinet vocabulary.

However, accountability will have its day. And it’s not only in government. Business corporations, healthcare organizations, financial systems, educational institutions, and much more are rife with all sorts of clever ways to get around being accountable to others for their unjust activity.

I have personally experienced it myself, multiple times. And right now, today, there are millions of people whom no one knows is going through hell at their job because of this very issue of the powerful using their position at the expense of the powerless.

“Accountability breeds responsibility.” Stephen Covey

Please hear me when I say this, even though it can be a very scary and intimidating thing: Not naming the person or persons or institutions which perpetrate injustice protects those perpetrators from the accountability they need. Investigations into unethical and/or illegal activity cannot happen unless it is identified and named.

Not everyone is a deliberate knucklehead who goes around hurting people. Sometimes they just need a whistleblower to call them on their injustice. And once that happens, behavior and attitudes change. That’s how it’s supposed to work. Yet, we all know that it doesn’t always work like that – which is why it is important to have plenty of support through your own unwanted and fiery experience.

Taking a lesson in accountability from Jacob toward Reuben, he didn’t attack his son, but stuck to the issue which brought his downfall from firstborn status. In other words, it’s always best to attack problems, not people. If not, we ourselves end up becoming the very sort of perpetrators we try to expose.

And, by the way, if you are observing or seeing a pattern of illicit behavior, keep a journal of it; write it down; document what actually happened and what kind of impact it had on you. In today’s society, failing to have appropriate documentation usually means the perpetration is going to go unaccounted for.

One of the reasons there is not a full-fledged soap opera account of Reuben’s act with Bilhah is the nature of Holy Scripture itself. The Bible leaves lots of details out with open stories in order for us as readers to understand with our imaginations what’s going on; and to envision the potential outcomes of particular actions.

What “really happened” is much less important than the lessons we are meant to learn from any biblical story. We may consider large gaps in stories as an annoyance, yet I believe those gaps are quite intentional.

Holy Scripture is meant to not only be an individual reading experience, but is a valuable opportunity for robust moral and theological discussion about contemporary realities as they relate to ancient wisdom traditions.

As readers and interpreters, we must fully engage the story, paying attention to what’s there, and what’s not there. Then, figure out together how we might (or ought) to fill in those gaps of what’s missing.

And for me, I see all sorts of ways in which all of us must be surrounded by and surrendered to accountability. Being accountable to others means that we accept responsibility when it is ours to accept, thus strengthening the bonds of community.

What’s more, accountability fosters courage and humility, as well as stopping the blame game in its tracks.

When it comes to the Church, we have a collective responsibility because of our baptismal covenant to strive for justice, peace, and the common good of all heavenly citizens. That means we will continually work toward observing the dignity and worth of every human we encounter – even the ones we don’t much like.

Blessed God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, help me to be honest with myself and release the excuses that hold me back.

Give me the strength to take responsibility for my actions and the courage to choose growth over comfort.

Renew my mindset so I see challenges as opportunities, not reasons to delay.

Align my thoughts and actions with purpose, discipline, and truth.

Teach me to be consistent in the small things,

and to follow through on what I start, even when it feels difficult.

Help me to trust my ability to grow,

and to move forward with confidence instead of doubt.

Guide me to move forward with clarity, ownership, and intention,

becoming the person I am meant to be, in the power of your Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Work and Family (Psalm 127)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
The Carpenter’s Son, Holy Cross Chapel, Houston, Texas

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord guards the city,
    the guard keeps watch in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
    and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil,
    for he gives sleep to his beloved.

Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the sons of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has
    his quiver full of them.
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (New Revised Standard Version)

God is the Creator. We humans are creatures, created in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, we are inextricably tied to God, and quite dependent upon the Lord.

For the activities of our daily human life, we need God. When it comes to establishing a home, protecting our community, daily work, and raising children, we very much need God’s help to do all of this in a way that is successful and good.

Unless God is with us, in the center of all that we do, then our work in building a good life shall be in vain. How we go about living our lives with work and family, and who we look to as role models, makes a significant difference in the quality and effectiveness of our labor and relationships.

When my wife was growing up, her family had a prominent portrait of John Wayne in the living room above the television. That picture spoke volumes about the family ethos. They had horses and loved to ride and enjoy the outdoors. Hard work was a daily reality of life, as well as a rugged individualism that often suppressed all else in order to engage in work. 

Doing your best, striving for excellence, and learning responsibility are good things that mature people do every day. Yet, there is a fine line between hard work that provides and enriches, and lonely work that is frenetic and fueled by anxiety about the future.

The motives behind why we burn the candle at both ends are just as important to the Lord as the work itself. The psalm for today is a wake-up call for us to consider the frenetic pace of work and family life.

If we independently believe that our life is in our own hands, and we work with a worry that animates our every task, then we have lost touch with the understanding that it is God who ultimately provides us with every good thing in life. 

However, if we begin to relax and let go of our stubborn independent streak, then we work hard with the strength God gives. We let the Lord watch over us.

Trusting God in our work is connected to children being a heritage from the Lord. In the ancient world, children worked alongside their parents. Fathers and mothers did not go it alone – work was a family affair, as well as a community endeavor. 

Whenever we slip into a groove of worshiping individualism, rather than simply taking personal responsibility, then we must come back to the inter-dependence we were designed for as created human beings. 

The ethos the psalmist espoused is trust in God, reliance on others, and working together for the common good of all. 

Here are a few ways of working together and not carrying the load of work on our own:

Ask for what you want and need to accomplish the task. Whenever we don’t ask, we inevitably go the route of hustling for help through manipulation, guilt, and shaming others.

If someone says, “no,” simply ask another person or persons. Asking once just won’t do. And neither is commanding others to get things done. We have the ability to ask calmly, confidently, and compassionately. Accept the “no” which you might get, without retreating back to manipulation. This is especially needful when it comes to asking family members.

Ask God to help you in your work. Each day as I enter the hospital for which I am a Chaplain, I say a prayer, “God almighty, blessed Father, Son, and Spirit, please go before me, with me, and after me to each patient, their family members, and every team member I encounter today, with the love and compassion of Jesus Christ.”

Delegate, if possible. This is not the same thing as barking orders. Delegating is a realization that we are finite creatures with limitations of time, energy, and resources. It’s okay to share the load with others. In fact, most people are more than willing to help, if we but ask. It enables them to feel needed and important.

Be vulnerable and gracious. We all mess up our work, at times. And it’s important to own mistakes without heaping unnecessary criticism on ourselves, or others. Offering an apology, recognizing that you’ve bit off more than you can chew, and admitting your lack of energy are healthy, not sinful. Also, whenever others fall short of their responsibilities, it’s our job to handle it with grace – seeking to understand and help, rather than criticize and judge.

Working together, consulting, collaborating, and engaging in fellowship enable us to speak with those who may oppose, misunderstand, or misinterpret us. It’s also a more joyful way to live.

Sovereign God, you created all things and in you everything holds together. Preserve me with your mighty power that I may not fall into disconnection with you and others, nor be overcome by anxiety. In all I do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

Be Honest (Job 42:7-9)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Job’s Sacrifice, by William Blake (1757-1827)

After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you did not speak the truth about me, the way my servant Job did. Now take seven bulls and seven rams to Job and offer them as a sacrifice for yourselves. Job will pray for you, and I will answer his prayer and not disgrace you the way you deserve. You did not speak the truth about me as he did.”

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar did what the Lord had told them to do, and the Lord answered Job’s prayer. (Good News Translation)

After all of Job’s terrible trouble in losing everything and everyone he cared about; after all of the longwinded speeches of his supposed friends; and after God’s breaking of silence through unanswerable questions; the epilogue of the story brings us God’s verdict concerning Job and his situation.

God finally dispenses his assessment, and renders his judgment. The Lord was not at all happy with Job’s companions; and was pleased with Job. Therefore, God made a decision against the companions, and for Job.

Four times in three verses, God refers to Job as “my servant,” but does not describe the friends as such. It is Job, and not Job’s friends, who spoke truth. Only Job spoke words consistent with reality.

At best, the friends spoke unhelpful words. At the worst, their words were hurtful and full of hubris. In retrospect, they probably should have at least kept their mouths shut. And ideally, they could have been true comforters, and consoled Job in his agony.

This gets at something which I believe we all need to get a firm hold upon: Not extending help, mercy, and consolation to those in dire straits, pisses-off God.

It irks God because it is a misrepresentation of God’s basic character, and distorts God’s true nature.

Being dishonest and pretending to be okay when one is not…

telling someone who is hurting to suck it up and confess their sin…

believing that the world operates according to good guys getting health and wealth, and bad guys getting sickness and poverty…

downright angers the holy and merciful God of the universe.

Job, unlike the Three Stooges he had as friends, affirmed what is right and true:

  • God is the Sovereign of the universe who dispenses both good and bad (Job 2:10)
  • God is the One who gives and who takes away (Job 1:21)
  • God is the Lord to whom we must bow in willing submission (Job 42:5-6)

In the dialogue with his friends, Job rightly insisted that God is sometimes an enemy, and that God’s inexplicable silence and absence is unjust and destructive.

I don’t want you to easily pass over what I just referred to, or to flip-out over it. In truth, God is both present and absent. And God’s absence hurts. Sometimes, it hurts like hell. We must affirm that God is sometimes silent. There are times when it feels like God is on vacation and is paying no attention.

I want you to get ahold of this important dimension to the spiritual life:

Human pretentions and posturing only present a false self to God and the world. That sort of behavior angers God. The Lord wants honest vulnerability.

Whereas Job’s friends insisted on maintaining theological respectability and an ordered theological system, Job essentially said, “To hell with all that!”

And Job was right.

Job contended with God. He cried, yelled, and exposed his innermost thoughts and feelings to God. Job was real. No phoniness existed with him. Yet, Job did not forsake God, curse God, or say there was no God.

The genuine spiritual life is always a tricky and risky combination of devotion and confrontation toward God.

Job presented his true self to God.

Job’s friends presented to God what they believed God wanted to see and hear.

There is a big difference between those two approaches.

God affirmed Job. God was against Job’s friends.

Maybe today it is necessary to rethink what you have always believed it is which gets God’s affirmation, and what raises God’s ire.

If we cannot be honest about what we are really thinking, and about how we are really doing, then we are hopeless people. In that state, no one can help us. And God is not pleased.

The final verdict of God is that only the prayers of one who speaks truth, like Job, will be effectively heard. Less honest prayers, like those of Job’s wife and friends, are foolish and ineffective.

One of the big overall messages of the Book of Job is this: For God’s sake, be honest!

My own culture is one of Midwest nice. That’s a nice way of saying that Midwesterners are mostly dishonest creatures. Every Midwesterner I know, understands being nice and polite to someone’s face, and then speaking gossip and slander to their back.

Ask any Midwestern American how they are doing, and they’ll tell you, “Just fine,” or “Great!” or “The sun is shining,” or some other deflection or blathering lie about how they are really doing. More than once, I have actually heard a depressed person with suicidal ideation tell another person that they are “doing fine today.”

That sort of claptrap gets us nowhere, especially with God. The Lord is okay with you and I telling him what we really think, even if we are extremely upset with God. God isn’t bothered by our anger, yelling, or messed-up thinking. But God is bothered by our pretending, our dishonesty, and our false presentations.

None of this means that we must wear our heart on our sleeve. In fact, I have found that persons who declare to me that they “tell it like it is,” are some of the most false people on the planet. It’s usually a sign that I’m not going to get from them how they are really feeling. It usually means they’re angry, and want to talk smack against someone, without ever examining themselves.

Don’t be a jerk. There are nice jerks, and obnoxious jerks, but in the end, they’re all just jerks. You and I really can speak honest words of truth, without being a jerk about it.

Job was honest, real, raw, hurt, angry, sad, lonely, and grieving out of his mind. And he was no jerk. And God affirmed him.

Personally, I’d rather have God’s affirmation than anyone else’s. How about you?

Almighty God, help us to speak and act truthfully in all situations. May we be honest with ourselves and with others, building trust and integrity in our relationships. Thank you for your example of truth and honesty. Help us to follow in your footsteps and to live with authenticity.

Guide us to be honest even when it is difficult, recognizing that honesty is the foundation of trust and respect. Help us to confront our own falsehoods and to seek the truth in all aspects of our lives. May we create environments where honesty is valued and encouraged, fostering open and transparent communication.

We pray for those who struggle with honesty, asking for your guidance and support in their journey towards truthfulness. Thank you for the clarity and peace that comes from living honestly. Help us to embrace and uphold this value every day. Amen.

You Can’t Leverage a Leviathan (Job 41:1-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

“Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook
    or press down its tongue with a cord?
Can you put a rope in its nose
    or pierce its jaw with a hook?
Will it make many supplications to you?
    Will it speak soft words to you?
Will it make a covenant with you
    to be taken as your servant forever?
Will you play with it as with a bird
    or put it on a leash for your young women?
Will traders bargain over it?
    Will they divide it up among the merchants?
Can you fill its skin with harpoons
    or its head with fishing spears?
Lay hands on it;
    think of the battle; you will not do it again!
Any hope of capturing it will be disappointed;
    one is overwhelmed even at the sight of it.
No one is so fierce as to dare to stir it up.
    Who can stand before it?
Who can confront it and be safe?
    —under the whole heaven, who?” (New Revised Standard Version)

Just as “Behemoth” is an English transliteration of the Hebrew word (Job 40:15), so is the word “Leviathan” (לִוְיָתָן). The reason for merely transliterating the words is that we don’t really know what sort of creatures they are with any certainty.

Yet, what we do know, is that both of them are strong and ferocious creatures, described by God as beyond the control of humans. They cannot be domesticated, or serve as pets. That’s because no human could ever hunt or capture one of them. Just to look at a Leviathan would cause a person to flee in fear.

The biblical character of Job had been through a lot. Back in the beginning of the Book of Job, he is described as a man who is upright and blameless. Because of this, Satan entered the picture, going to God and accusing Job of only being faithful because he was blessed. So, God allowed Satan to afflict Job, but not kill him.

Yet, Job knew nothing about this celestial conversation. All he knew was that he lost everything and everyone he cared about. On top of it all, Job experienced painful sores which left his health ravaged and his body unable to do much of anything.

Job’s three “friends” came to comfort him. But they did just the opposite by arguing with him and accusing him of secret sinning. All Job wanted was some vindication, some answers to his questions, and some sort of sense to all the senseless suffering.

After long speeches of both Job and his companions, God’s agonizing silence was finally broken. For several chapters (Job 38-41) God gives no answers, but instead, asks his own questions. The gist of God’s confrontational response comes down to this:

You are wondering about things that are way above your ability to know and understand. But what you need to know is that life consists in relationships, in dialogue and interaction with me, and especially with honesty and vulnerability which goes along with those relations.

Life cannot be boiled down to a nice, neat system of good people getting good stuff, and bad people getting bad stuff. Yell at me, and rage at me, if you must. Then you will be honest, real, and relating to me. But I have no tolerance for anyone who tries to be Me, and thinks they know how things actually are, and how they work.

There is no “The Universe For Dummies” by God on the way things operate in the universe. That’s because it cannot be dumbed-down enough for any human to grasp. All we have is relational interaction and connection.

We can’t even figure out what in the world creatures like Behemoth and Leviathan are, let alone understand how to deal with them. Methinks that despair has a much more prominent place for us humans than we realize. But that is a bigger discussion than Behemoth, and so, is for another time.

It could be that God talking of Leviathan – this big uncontrollable and unpredictable creature – is one way of helping us come to grips with our divine/human relationship.

You and I have absolutely no control over God. It’s not remotely possible, at all. And if nobody can domesticate, let alone capture, a Leviathan, then there is no possibility of ever using God as a personal pet for our own purposes.

Far too many of us humans, demand God to show up and explain himself; or we do all sorts of genuflections and pray volumes of words to try and leverage God into answering us and giving us what we want. But there is no leveraging a Leviathan.

Precious few persons on this earth simply let God be God; and choose to focus on being a real, vulnerable human who needs and wants God. Such persons do not try and capture God, because they have already been captured by God.

We are all at the mercy of God, and in no way can manipulate or cajole God toward our agenda for how we think things ought to go. We might as well try and catch a Leviathan.

Humanity does not hold onto God; God holds onto us. God is not obliged to serve us and do our bidding; but we are very much obliged to God in service and fidelity.

God, I believe, rightly seems perturbed by all of longwinded speeches, only because he was being treated as some sort of divine vending machine who dispenses the proper candy bar with an obligatory monetary oblation.

Do we actually believe that we can do a sort of spiritual credit card slide, and get a belly full of goodies? If you want good from God, then do good and be a good person, right?…

Um, no. Frankly, that kind of spirituality irks God. Good people sometimes get bad stuff. And that reality bothers some of us humans to no end.

There is a reason for all that occurs, but it’s way above our human pay grade to know and understand what it’s really all about. So, treat God as God, as the Sovereign of the universe, as the Holy One whom we must relate to in truth, honesty, realness, and vulnerability.

This is another day, O Lord. I don’t really know what it will bring forth. Regardless, make me ready for whatever this day may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words, and please give me the Spirit of Jesus. Amen.