Work and Family (Psalm 127)

The Carpenter’s Son, Holy Cross Chapel, Houston, Texas

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord guards the city,
    the guard keeps watch in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
    and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil,
    for he gives sleep to his beloved.

Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the sons of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has
    his quiver full of them.
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (New Revised Standard Version)

God is the Creator. We humans are creatures, created in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, we are inextricably tied to God, and quite dependent upon the Lord.

For the activities of our daily human life, we need God. When it comes to establishing a home, protecting our community, daily work, and raising children, we very much need God’s help to do all of this in a way that is successful and good.

Unless God is with us, in the center of all that we do, then our work in building a good life shall be in vain. How we go about living our lives with work and family, and who we look to as role models, makes a significant difference in the quality and effectiveness of our labor and relationships.

When my wife was growing up, her family had a prominent portrait of John Wayne in the living room above the television. That picture spoke volumes about the family ethos. They had horses and loved to ride and enjoy the outdoors. Hard work was a daily reality of life, as well as a rugged individualism that often suppressed all else in order to engage in work. 

Doing your best, striving for excellence, and learning responsibility are good things that mature people do every day. Yet, there is a fine line between hard work that provides and enriches, and lonely work that is frenetic and fueled by anxiety about the future.

The motives behind why we burn the candle at both ends are just as important to the Lord as the work itself. The psalm for today is a wake-up call for us to consider the frenetic pace of work and family life.

If we independently believe that our life is in our own hands, and we work with a worry that animates our every task, then we have lost touch with the understanding that it is God who ultimately provides us with every good thing in life. 

However, if we begin to relax and let go of our stubborn independent streak, then we work hard with the strength God gives. We let the Lord watch over us.

Trusting God in our work is connected to children being a heritage from the Lord. In the ancient world, children worked alongside their parents. Fathers and mothers did not go it alone – work was a family affair, as well as a community endeavor. 

Whenever we slip into a groove of worshiping individualism, rather than simply taking personal responsibility, then we must come back to the inter-dependence we were designed for as created human beings. 

The ethos the psalmist espoused is trust in God, reliance on others, and working together for the common good of all. 

Here are a few ways of working together and not carrying the load of work on our own:

Ask for what you want and need to accomplish the task. Whenever we don’t ask, we inevitably go the route of hustling for help through manipulation, guilt, and shaming others.

If someone says, “no,” simply ask another person or persons. Asking once just won’t do. And neither is commanding others to get things done. We have the ability to ask calmly, confidently, and compassionately. Accept the “no” which you might get, without retreating back to manipulation. This is especially needful when it comes to asking family members.

Ask God to help you in your work. Each day as I enter the hospital for which I am a Chaplain, I say a prayer, “God almighty, blessed Father, Son, and Spirit, please go before me, with me, and after me to each patient, their family members, and every team member I encounter today, with the love and compassion of Jesus Christ.”

Delegate, if possible. This is not the same thing as barking orders. Delegating is a realization that we are finite creatures with limitations of time, energy, and resources. It’s okay to share the load with others. In fact, most people are more than willing to help, if we but ask. It enables them to feel needed and important.

Be vulnerable and gracious. We all mess up our work, at times. And it’s important to own mistakes without heaping unnecessary criticism on ourselves, or others. Offering an apology, recognizing that you’ve bit off more than you can chew, and admitting your lack of energy are healthy, not sinful. Also, whenever others fall short of their responsibilities, it’s our job to handle it with grace – seeking to understand and help, rather than criticize and judge.

Working together, consulting, collaborating, and engaging in fellowship enable us to speak with those who may oppose, misunderstand, or misinterpret us. It’s also a more joyful way to live.

Sovereign God, you created all things and in you everything holds together. Preserve me with your mighty power that I may not fall into disconnection with you and others, nor be overcome by anxiety. In all I do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

Showing Kindness (Ruth 2:10-14)

Calling in the Gleaners, by Jules Breton, 1859

Then she fell prostrate, with her face to the ground, and said to him, “Why have I found favor in your sight, that you should take notice of me, when I am a foreigner?” But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told me, how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. May the Lord reward you for your deeds, and may you have a full reward from the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge!” Then she said, “May I continue to find favor in your sight, my lord, for you have comforted me and spoken kindly to your servant, even though I am not one of your servants.”

At mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come here and eat some of this bread and dip your morsel in the sour wine.” So she sat beside the reapers, and he heaped up for her some parched grain. She ate until she was satisfied, and she had some left over. (New Revised Standard Version)

Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi were widows, living in the land of Moab. But Naomi decided to go back to Judah, to her hometown of Bethlehem. She and her husband had originally left because of a great famine.

Naomi had encouraged Ruth to remain in her own country, among her own people. But Ruth insisted on remaining and being with Naomi. But just because the two of them had each other, and they were in Naomi’s native land, it did not mean things were going to be easy or better.

The truth was that that Ruth and Naomi had next to nothing. It was common that during the harvest, the less fortunate folk would walk a ways behind the workers who were gleaning the fields, in order to pick up what was left behind.

Picking up after the workers in the field is precisely what Ruth went out to do. Naomi was too old for the work, so it was up to Ruth. The field that Ruth ended up walking, belonged to a man named Boaz.

Depending upon the owner of the land, the poor folk who came to walk the fields were treated either with kindness or contempt. Boaz was the sort of person who was attentive to God’s law, and sought to do what was right. He knew what Torah said:

“‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.’” (Leviticus 23:22, NIV)

Boaz had taken notice of Ruth. He approached her and told her to remain in his field and stay close to his workers. Boaz also commented to Ruth that he instructed the young men working for him to leave her alone and not bother her. He let Ruth know that she could drink from the vessels appropriated for his laborers.

This was a kindness which was overwhelming to Ruth. As a foreigner and a widow, she was not expecting anything from anyone in Judah. And yet, here is this man extending mercy to her.

One of the reasons Boaz showed kindness to Ruth is because he had heard about her commitment to Naomi, and admired her courage and spunk in coming to a land which was not her own.

Indeed, the picture we gain is that Ruth was a modest and faithful person, upright, diligent, and full of kindness. She understood who she was, where she was, and she was willing to do whatever she could for the sake of her dear mother-in-law.

Ruth had faith that Naomi would lead her well, and to a life of commitment to both God and God’s people. Ruth’s bravery and willingness to submit to Naomi is a beautiful portrayal of faith, hope, and love.

We can be inspired from such courage. For we, too, must take risks and allow ourselves to venture out into places we aren’t familiar with.

We will do well to understand that it was Ruth’s willingness to act, and her commitment to the life she chose, that helped bring about a family and an adopted community which she did not think possible.

It would be good for each of us to take the time to get a long look at our own lives. We must decide what risks we will take, and which things to avoid, and then go out in faith and perform those actions to the best of our ability, and with the grace which God grants us.

In stepping out and acting with kindness and commitment, Ruth discovered God’s care when she and Naomi were in poverty.

The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
    and their inheritance will endure forever.
In times of disaster they will not wither;
    in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. (Psalm 37:18-19, NIV)

Boaz eventually found the blessing of family through his own act of kindness toward Ruth. He was well-off and had plenty, yet he used his privilege to bless others.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. (1 Timothy 6:17-19, NIV)

So, whether we are poor or rich, underprivileged or privileged, we all can find ways to show kindness and live on this earth in peace and goodwill.

How, then, will you live?

O Lord, give me strength today to show kindness in all that I do. Help me to open my arms to those less fortunate and extend my hand to those who may need it, so that they may see You in my kind words and actions. Amen.

Be Honest (Job 42:7-9)

Job’s Sacrifice, by William Blake (1757-1827)

After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you did not speak the truth about me, the way my servant Job did. Now take seven bulls and seven rams to Job and offer them as a sacrifice for yourselves. Job will pray for you, and I will answer his prayer and not disgrace you the way you deserve. You did not speak the truth about me as he did.”

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar did what the Lord had told them to do, and the Lord answered Job’s prayer. (Good News Translation)

After all of Job’s terrible trouble in losing everything and everyone he cared about; after all of the longwinded speeches of his supposed friends; and after God’s breaking of silence through unanswerable questions; the epilogue of the story brings us God’s verdict concerning Job and his situation.

God finally dispenses his assessment, and renders his judgment. The Lord was not at all happy with Job’s companions; and was pleased with Job. Therefore, God made a decision against the companions, and for Job.

Four times in three verses, God refers to Job as “my servant,” but does not describe the friends as such. It is Job, and not Job’s friends, who spoke truth. Only Job spoke words consistent with reality.

At best, the friends spoke unhelpful words. At the worst, their words were hurtful and full of hubris. In retrospect, they probably should have at least kept their mouths shut. And ideally, they could have been true comforters, and consoled Job in his agony.

This gets at something which I believe we all need to get a firm hold upon: Not extending help, mercy, and consolation to those in dire straits, pisses-off God.

It irks God because it is a misrepresentation of God’s basic character, and distorts God’s true nature.

Being dishonest and pretending to be okay when one is not…

telling someone who is hurting to suck it up and confess their sin…

believing that the world operates according to good guys getting health and wealth, and bad guys getting sickness and poverty…

downright angers the holy and merciful God of the universe.

Job, unlike the Three Stooges he had as friends, affirmed what is right and true:

  • God is the Sovereign of the universe who dispenses both good and bad (Job 2:10)
  • God is the One who gives and who takes away (Job 1:21)
  • God is the Lord to whom we must bow in willing submission (Job 42:5-6)

In the dialogue with his friends, Job rightly insisted that God is sometimes an enemy, and that God’s inexplicable silence and absence is unjust and destructive.

I don’t want you to easily pass over what I just referred to, or to flip-out over it. In truth, God is both present and absent. And God’s absence hurts. Sometimes, it hurts like hell. We must affirm that God is sometimes silent. There are times when it feels like God is on vacation and is paying no attention.

I want you to get ahold of this important dimension to the spiritual life:

Human pretentions and posturing only present a false self to God and the world. That sort of behavior angers God. The Lord wants honest vulnerability.

Whereas Job’s friends insisted on maintaining theological respectability and an ordered theological system, Job essentially said, “To hell with all that!”

And Job was right.

Job contended with God. He cried, yelled, and exposed his innermost thoughts and feelings to God. Job was real. No phoniness existed with him. Yet, Job did not forsake God, curse God, or say there was no God.

The genuine spiritual life is always a tricky and risky combination of devotion and confrontation toward God.

Job presented his true self to God.

Job’s friends presented to God what they believed God wanted to see and hear.

There is a big difference between those two approaches.

God affirmed Job. God was against Job’s friends.

Maybe today it is necessary to rethink what you have always believed it is which gets God’s affirmation, and what raises God’s ire.

If we cannot be honest about what we are really thinking, and about how we are really doing, then we are hopeless people. In that state, no one can help us. And God is not pleased.

The final verdict of God is that only the prayers of one who speaks truth, like Job, will be effectively heard. Less honest prayers, like those of Job’s wife and friends, are foolish and ineffective.

One of the big overall messages of the Book of Job is this: For God’s sake, be honest!

My own culture is one of Midwest nice. That’s a nice way of saying that Midwesterners are mostly dishonest creatures. Every Midwesterner I know, understands being nice and polite to someone’s face, and then speaking gossip and slander to their back.

Ask any Midwestern American how they are doing, and they’ll tell you, “Just fine,” or “Great!” or “The sun is shining,” or some other deflection or blathering lie about how they are really doing. More than once, I have actually heard a depressed person with suicidal ideation tell another person that they are “doing fine today.”

That sort of claptrap gets us nowhere, especially with God. The Lord is okay with you and I telling him what we really think, even if we are extremely upset with God. God isn’t bothered by our anger, yelling, or messed-up thinking. But God is bothered by our pretending, our dishonesty, and our false presentations.

None of this means that we must wear our heart on our sleeve. In fact, I have found that persons who declare to me that they “tell it like it is,” are some of the most false people on the planet. It’s usually a sign that I’m not going to get from them how they are really feeling. It usually means they’re angry, and want to talk smack against someone, without ever examining themselves.

Don’t be a jerk. There are nice jerks, and obnoxious jerks, but in the end, they’re all just jerks. You and I really can speak honest words of truth, without being a jerk about it.

Job was honest, real, raw, hurt, angry, sad, lonely, and grieving out of his mind. And he was no jerk. And God affirmed him.

Personally, I’d rather have God’s affirmation than anyone else’s. How about you?

Almighty God, help us to speak and act truthfully in all situations. May we be honest with ourselves and with others, building trust and integrity in our relationships. Thank you for your example of truth and honesty. Help us to follow in your footsteps and to live with authenticity.

Guide us to be honest even when it is difficult, recognizing that honesty is the foundation of trust and respect. Help us to confront our own falsehoods and to seek the truth in all aspects of our lives. May we create environments where honesty is valued and encouraged, fostering open and transparent communication.

We pray for those who struggle with honesty, asking for your guidance and support in their journey towards truthfulness. Thank you for the clarity and peace that comes from living honestly. Help us to embrace and uphold this value every day. Amen.

Living Without Answers (Job 41:12-34)

“I will not keep silent concerning its limbs
    or its mighty strength or its splendid frame.
Who can strip off its outer garment?
    Who can penetrate its double coat of mail?
Who can open the doors of its face?
    There is terror all around its teeth.
Its back is made of shields in rows,
    shut up closely as with a seal.
One is so near to another
    that no air can come between them.
They are joined one to another;
    they clasp each other and cannot be separated.
Its sneezes flash forth light,
    and its eyes are like the eyelids of the dawn.
From its mouth go flaming torches;
    sparks of fire leap out.
Out of its nostrils comes smoke,
    as from a boiling pot and burning rushes.
Its breath kindles coals,
    and a flame comes out of its mouth.
In its neck abides strength,
    and terror dances before it.
The folds of its flesh cling together;
    it is firmly cast and immovable.
Its heart is as hard as stone,
    as hard as the lower millstone.
When it raises itself up the gods are afraid;
    at the crashing they are beside themselves.
Though the sword reaches it, it does not avail,
    nor does the spear, the dart, or the javelin.
It counts iron as straw
    and bronze as rotten wood.
The arrow cannot make it flee;
    slingstones, for it, are turned to chaff.
Clubs are counted as chaff;
    it laughs at the rattle of javelins.
Its underparts are like sharp potsherds;
    it spreads itself like a threshing sledge on the mire.
It makes the deep boil like a pot;
    it makes the sea like a pot of ointment.
It leaves a shining wake behind it;
    one would think the deep to be white-haired.
On earth it has no equal,
    a creature without fear.
It surveys everything that is lofty;
    it is king over all that are proud.” (New Revised Standard Version)

In a long anticipated response, God finally spoke to Job with his companions present. And it was nothing like anyone expected.

Today’s Old Testament lesson continues God’s questioning of Job, and talking of the great Leviathan – a large and uncontrollable creature.

Trying to figure out exactly what Leviathan is or was (e.g. a dragon, a dinosaur, or some dang demon) is not the point of having this chapter in Holy Scripture.

We can become obsessed with having our questions answered, everything neatly categorized and understood, every problem and mystery solved to our satisfaction.

If the Book of Job teaches us anything, it is that there are questions for which there are no answers this side of heaven. There are problems which we humans cannot logically and scientifically solve.

Ironically, we discover the presence of God through God’s absence; and hear the voice of God through God’s silence.

Any encounter we may have with God will typically shatter any preconceived notions about divinity. Any experience with God shall prevent us from packaging up an answer with some nice pretty paper and bows, as if we were enjoying a delightful Christmas at home.

Facing God is much more like coming face to face with who you really are, and what motivations and intentions are really in your heart. It’s more like Halloween than Christmas. It’s staring at a scary monstrous Leviathan, and not a bright jolly Santa Claus.

Coming to grips with our fears and anxieties, struggles and weaknesses, mortality and vulnerability, is the real sort of encounter people have with God. It’s not so much that God is scary; it’s we who are scary.

It’s scary what people will sometimes do in order to try and get answers to their questions. And it is equally scary what we will do to avoid the questions asked of us.

We don’t like hearing there are some things which are unanswerable. Yet, the mystery of God is real, which means that we are never going to know about everything we want to understand.

And we also don’t like being questioned. But what can you do, whenever you cannot move, and God begins peppering you with his own questions?

We would like to justify and vindicate ourselves – even rationalize our words and actions, if that’s what it takes. Yet, it is God alone who has the power to absolve and exonerate, to bring justice while in the teeth of injustice.

Furthermore, such justification comes in God’s own timing, not ours. Again, this is one of those realities which is far above us, for which we have only a very limited perspective on.

As we move ever closer to the end of the Book of Job, Job’s quest for answers and vindication hasn’t come, at least yet. We, along with Job, must handover the entire affair thoroughly to God in complete trust – without insisting that God say or do what I want God to say or do.

Living by faith is the only real option we have. All other options leave us in an existential angst, sliding toward nihilism.

Anyone who believes they can govern the world better than God, better brace themselves for some serious questioning.

There is not a person on this earth, including myself, that I would trust to run it for ten minutes. Because within ten seconds the world would be burning.

I don’t want that world.

I want a world with God – because I wholeheartedly believe that grace is the real and true operative force on this earth.

The grace of God allows us to see the divine without having to have our puny questions answered. Grace reassures us that we are not lost, that God sees and knows what is happening, and will do something about it.

So therefore, I can rest assured that everything is held in the sinewy strong arms of God. And no person, no monster, no Leviathan, is outside of God’s ability to effect justice and righteousness in the world.

It may take some time to realize complete and total justice, but God has given me enough faith to rest in mystery, and to live with uncertainty.

May it be so, to the glory of God.

Creator of the world, we pray

That you, with steadfast love, would keep

Your watch around us while we sleep.

From evil dreams defend our sight,

From fears and terrors of the night;

Tread underfoot our deadly foe

That we no sinful thought may know.

O Father, we ask your will to be done

Through Jesus Christ, your only Son;

And Holy Spirit, by whose breath

Our souls are raised to life from death. Amen.