Tag: transitions

Face Reality (Numbers 20:22-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Aaron’s Death, by David Roberts, 1842

The whole community of Israel left Kadesh and arrived at Mount Hor. There, on the border of the land of Edom, the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “The time has come for Aaron to join his ancestors in death. He will not enter the land I am giving the people of Israel, because the two of you rebelled against my instructions concerning the water at Meribah. Now take Aaron and his son Eleazar up Mount Hor. There you will remove Aaron’s priestly garments and put them on Eleazar, his son. Aaron will die there and join his ancestors.”

So Moses did as the Lord commanded. The three of them went up Mount Hor together as the whole community watched. At the summit, Moses removed the priestly garments from Aaron and put them on Eleazar, Aaron’s son. Then Aaron died there on top of the mountain, and Moses and Eleazar went back down. When the people realized that Aaron had died, all Israel mourned for him thirty days. (New Living Translation)

There is a tendency for us “enlightened” humans to believe that we are far more advanced than our ancestors – who did not know all that we very smart people today know.

Such a mental stance only demonstrates that perhaps we are getting more stupid as the centuries and the millennia wear on.

Despite all of our accumulated knowledge and research, and incredible technical advances, we have (in my humble opinion) strayed rather far from a wise understanding of anthropology and theology. In other words, many people in this contemporary world have little to no idea about who they are, why they are here, and what to do when life and death happens.

The death of Aaron the priest happened over 3,500 years ago. Yet, here I am, referencing it. Why? Because there is meaning to it. The ancients have a great deal to teach us, that is, if we have the spiritual and emotional ears to hear, and eyes to see. Notice just some of the lessons they continue to teach us…

The Need to Accept Death

Just as we have all been born into this world, we shall all die someday. If we are such an enlightened people, it would seem to me that we all might have highly developed coping skills, strategies, and ways of honoring and accepting the inevitable death of another – not to mention having adequately prepared for our own demise.

And yet, we go on, day after day, as if we will live forever. Then, when someone we care about dies, it’s as if we cannot believe it has happened. But there is only one sure event in this life, and that is death. It is inexorably coming, whether we like it, or not.

It also seems to me that a great deal of contemporary religious piety is shallow, and does not plumb the depths of real spiritual substance. The irony of it, for many, is that they long for heaven, but ignore death. This is nothing but the denial of reality. Our very real lives here and now must be contended with, including the inevitable death to come.

Reality is the one substantial door that must be acknowledged, experienced with all of our senses and emotions, and passed through – not denied. Only through complete acceptance of this world can the greater reality of the world to come be truly known.

Fantasy and endless gospel songs about heaven can only lead us astray. We picture a future of our own imaginations, which deludes and dulls us of how to actually pass from one dimension to another.

Death was a daily reality amongst the Israelites in their forty years of desert wandering. They understood that each individual passing was inextricably connected to the whole of the community.

John Donne was an Anglican priest and poet in seventeenth century England. He was insistent that all humanity is connected, that whatever happens to one of us, happens to all of us. I take some liberties in contemporizing his Old English language written in 1627:

“No one is an island, entirely independent. Every person is a piece of the continent, a part of the main body of land. If a clod of dirt happens to be washed away by the sea, the whole land mass is the less, just as if an entire peninsula fell off into the water. Whether a friend dies, or anyone in the world dies, it diminishes me because I am involved in the whole of humanity. Therefore, never question to know for whom the bell of death tolls; it tolls for you.”

John Donne (1572-1631)

The Need for Bereavement

A story is told of an old Sufi mystic who visited a sheikh in Baghdad. He found the sheikh gazing into a bowl filled with water. So, he inquired about this odd practice. The sheikh replied that he was watching the moon in the basin. To which the Sufi mystic cried out:

“Unless you have a boil on the back of your neck, lift up your head and look at the sky! There you will see the moon as it is, and not in this basin. Why are you leaning over basins, when all you are really doing is depriving yourself of what you are really looking for?”

Sufi Master, 13th century

As a Pastor and Chaplain who engages in a lot of grief support for those who have lost loved ones to death, and who has dealt with hundreds of people with significant emotional issues, I can say that a lot of people’s grief goes unattended. A good many people go looking for comfort, all by themselves, in staring into a bowl of water.

Death is real. And when someone close to us dies, it hurts like hell. It’s as if somebody came along and pulled the rug out from underneath us. We are flat on our backs and unable to get up.

The only way we can get back up is with the help of others. When Aaron died, the entire community mourned for a full month. Perhaps nothing speaks more to the modern delusion of death and grief than of taking a day or two off work, then expecting to return as if nothing ever happened. No wonder so many people end up in significant depression and anxiety.

The Need for God

Ignoring God is what got the Israelites in their predicament of desert wandering in the first place. And it is also what got both Aaron and Moses a refusal by the Lord to enter the Promised Land.

God isn’t some genie in a bottle that we can control, or a divine Santa to receive presents from. Like death, God is a reality that must be contended with. To go your own way, and decide which commands and instructions you’d like to keep, and which one’s you’ll discard, will not end well – not to mention simply stating that there is no God at all.

Humans are creatures, formed by their Creator. Obedience to God is vital, not optional, because the Lord’s presence is much like the unseen and constant force of gravity. You ignore it at your own peril.

Although we have a lot of freedom in how we can live our lives, and the choices we can make, there yet remains a basic way of existence for everyone. And that way is meant for good, not evil; it has its foundation in the character of God. The Lord is pure love, justice, righteousness, and goodness.

Therefore, as people in God’s image and likeness, we too, are to live in a way that is just, right, good, and loving. To not live in this way would be like walking off the roof of your house because you don’t believe in gravity – then blaming God for your broken body (and soul).

The Need for Ritual in Transition

Israel was transitioning from desert wandering to entering the Promised Land. They were also transitioning leadership from Aaron to Eleazar. And it was all acknowledged with rituals to help people make those transitions.

The community did not simply get an email from Moses informing them of a new priest and welcoming Eleazar to the company. There was an extended time of mourning the loss of Aaron, and a meaningful ritual that demonstrated the change of leaders.

Transitions can be hard. But with every change there is a transition time that must be faced and walked through. Rituals can help us with that. If we ignore this reality, we will find ourselves unable to navigate changes that we personally never asked for. 

The following are some things that I have found helpful in handling change and dealing with the transition from one reality to another:

  1. Maintain personal spiritual rituals. If the change is one that I did not choose, then having regular times of silence and solitude, prayer and bible reading, fasting and journaling help me make sense of what is happening and put it in proper perspective.
  2. Maintain personal health rituals. Freaking out by burning the candles at both ends, forgetting to eat sensibly, and ignoring exercise only exacerbates the change and makes the transition time unbearable.  Instead, take the time necessary to remain healthy through proper sleep, nutrition, and activity.
  3. Grieve and ritualize your losses. Lament, I would argue, is a spiritual practice – a necessary one. It is also biblical.  To focus on next steps without acknowledging transition is to set oneself up for later emotional difficulty and/or trauma. Unpack the heart and allow yourself to feel the loss.
  4. Be patient. Rituals cannot be hurried. The Lord cares more about our spiritual growth and character development than avoiding painful transitions. Let God teach you all that you need to learn.

Institutions and faith communities are sometimes notorious for being inflexible and allergic to change. But, after all, they are made up of real flesh and blood people. To struggle with change is to be human.

Let’s first help ourselves to know how to cope with needed transitions so that we can do the important work of transitioning others from one spiritual place to another. 

It’s high time for us to face the reality that the ancients have much to teach us – including ancient literature such as the Bible.

Facing Transitions

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            Life has its seasons.  The journey from childhood to teenager, from adult to spouse, from parent to empty-nester, from caregiver to being cared-for, are all just a sampling of the different seasons of life that people travel through.  Each period of life has its own joys and sorrows, rewards and regrets.  But the really difficult trick is moving from one season to the next.  Transitions imply change – every time.  These transitions are things everyone experiences, and some are more difficult for us than others.  But if there ever were sure events of life, transitions are it.  So, we must learn to navigate them with some attention and care.
 
            At the time of this writing, I am in the process of moving my youngest daughter to a new job and new adventure in a new city for her.  It is all good stuff.  But it is a transition.  And it is not particularly easy.  But I am committed to not simply move on with life as if there were no challenge to it.  Her leaving marks a new era in the lives of me and my wife (who will certainly find this transition more than challenging!). 
 
            Churches also face the challenge of transitions because they inevitably go through cycles of change.  To try and never change is to forsake the sheer reality that congregations have their own life experience of birth, growth, change, maturity, decline, and eventually death.  None of the churches mentioned in the New Testament of the Bible still exist.  It does not necessarily mean they did anything wrong or unwise; they just underwent a particular life journey, experienced a full range of Christian life and service to their people and communities – then they passed away.  But just as we, in some ways, live forever through the ongoing generations of our progeny, so churches never really die in the sense that they live on in the many people who came to Christ, grew in spiritual maturity, and multiply by proclaiming the good news of Jesus to others.
 
            Since life transitions are highly significant, here are some ways to approach them when they occur:
 
—It is a new opportunity to be in a different role.  When a child leaves for college, the parental role is changed to become an adult peer and even a friend.  Yes, in one sense parenting never ends; but in another sense it just shifts to being a faithful mentor and example like never before.  When a church member or family leaves a congregation, the relationship is changed.  People leave for all kinds of reasons, but the relationship should be kept open to respond to them as the universal Body of Christ.
 
–It is okay to bawl and be sad.  Grief attaches itself to any significant change or loss, and not only to bereavement.  It is both normal and necessary to experience the passing of a season of life that you will never have again.  It is also appropriate to celebrate and remember a job well done in raising a well-adjusted person who is becoming an important contribution to society.  Go ahead, pat yourself on the back.  It’s okay.  It is also okay to remember and celebrate church ministries that have had their day, but are no longer viable.  Give them a decent remembrance so that you can move on to the new thing God is doing.
 
–It is important to connect with others who have been through it.  Everyone goes through transitions.  But not everyone has done it well.  Seek out and find those persons for whom you see a successful and fruitful transition from one season of life to another.  As it pertains to churches, they almost always need help from those outside the congregation to transition well into a new phase of ministry.  Let it happen by purposely seeking out wise people who have been through it.
 
–It is finally now your chance to pursue God’s unique calling.  That ministry, job, or education which has been set on the back burner for so long now has the chance to come to the fore in your life.  Embrace the new beginning that God has been stirring in you for a while to come out and have its day.
 

 

            I am not communicating as any sort of expert on the subject of transitions.  I just have had to experience a good many of them in my life, and have learned a few things along the way.  But I am still discovering along with everyone else.  And each transition is new and different than all the others before it.  I am not sure yet what God has for me with my daughter’s transition.  But I do know that I am entering a new season which is full of fresh possibilities.  May you discover yours, as well.

Transitions

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            At the beginning of this year I could not have anticipated that I would have to face the kinds of changes that have happened in my life.  So far into this year my oldest daughter and grandson have moved in; my wife had major surgery with a host of complications afterwards; my Mom passed away; and, if God didn’t think I had enough changes in my life right now, church ministry has taken a radical turn for me with my beloved associate pastors leaving.  Some changes we encounter are big, some small; some are good, some are bad; most are bittersweet.  The thing about change is that even though we know it will happen and may like it, the transition from one thing to another is the stinker that usually trips us up.  It is the getting from one place to another that gets the attention and the difficulty.  For example, going to Grandma’s house is a good thing; the five hour drive there with cramped car space and ornery kids is not.  If we could eliminate the transition, we’d do it in a heartbeat.  The same is true for church ministry.  Starting a new ministry is a cool thing; changing from a big bible study or worship service to a network of small groups may be a wonderful initiative; grafting spiritual practices into traditionally business-like meetings is an improvement.  But it is that dang transition time that trips us all up, and it is the transitions that need as much attention as the change itself.
 
            Think about it this way:  when Jesus came to this earth and lived, taught, was crucified, died, rose from death, ascended and glorified, this was all really good stuff.  But the Jewish people had to make a transition from worship focused in the particular place of Jerusalem as a particular covenant people to focusing on Jesus as the fulfillment of all the promises that they anticipated for centuries with a Gentile people that they were not too crazy about.  Most either could not or would not make the transition.  The Apostle Paul spent most of his Christian life trying to help his fellow Israelites come to grips with making the transition from Judaism to Christianity – and he usually got beat up for it, both verbally and physically.
 
            Transitions are hard.  We’d rather not do them.  But with every change there is a transition time that must be faced and walked through.  If we ignore this reality, we will find ourselves unable to navigate the changes that are chosen not to mention becoming downright depressed with the changes foisted upon us by others and by sheer circumstance.  Here are some things that I have found help me to handle the changes that occur, and to make it through the transitions from one reality to another:
 
1.      Maintain personal spiritual disciplines.  If the change is one that I did not choose, then having regular times of silence and solitude, prayer and bible reading, fasting and journaling help me make sense of what is happening and put it in proper perspective.
 
2.      Maintain personal health practices.  Freaking out by burning the candles at both ends, forgetting to eat sensibly, and ignoring exercise only exacerbates the change and makes the transition time unbearable.  Instead, take the time necessary to remain healthy through proper sleep, nutrition, and activity.
 
3.      Grieve your losses.  Lament, I would argue, is a spiritual practice – a necessary one.  It is also biblical.  To focus on next steps without acknowledging transition is to set oneself up for later emotional difficulty and/or trauma.  Unpack the heart and allow yourself to feel the loss.
 
4.      Be patient.  God is rarely in a hurry about anything.  He cares more about our spiritual growth and character development than avoiding painful transitions.  Let him teach you all that you need to learn.
 
5.      God never changes.  Times change, but God doesn’t.  Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Let this truth be a ballast to the challenges of transition.
 
6.      Listen, learn, and lead.  The time to start listening to others is before change happens.  Learn all you can, especially as a pastor or church leader, and shepherd others with the spiritual resources you have gained over a lifetime of experience.
 

 

Churches are sometimes notorious for being inflexible and allergic to change.  But, after all, they are made up of real flesh and blood people.  To struggle with change is to be human.  Let’s first help ourselves to know how to cope with needed transitions so that we can do the important work of moving people from one spiritual place to another in order that the Body of Christ can thrive and not just survive.  May it be so, to the glory of God.