This Is No Time for Bitterness (2 Samuel 3:31-38)

David at the tomb of Abner, by Unknown Artist, 1850

Then David said to Joab and all the people with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and walk in mourning in front of Abner.” King David himself walked behind the bier. They buried Abner in Hebron, and the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept also.

The king sang this lament for Abner:

“Should Abner have died as the lawless die?
    Your hands were not bound,
    your feet were not fettered.
You fell as one falls before the wicked.”

And all the people wept over him again.

Then they all came and urged David to eat something while it was still day; but David took an oath, saying, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I taste bread or anything else before the sun sets!”

All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them. So on that day all the people there and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner.

Then the king said to his men, “Do you not realize that a commander and a great man has fallen in Israel this day? (New International Version)

To put it succinctly, Abner was a rascal. He was smart and savvy, as well as self-centered and treacherous. Abner was the general of Israel’s armies. In his shrewdness, Abner knew that King David of Judah would eventually win out.

So, he set things up to sell-out his position with Ish-Bosheth, the king of Israel, and bring all of Israel and Judah together as one people. Then, he would be the general in a united kingdom under David.

However, Abner had burned some bridges in his day, and created some enemies. Joab was one of them, David’s general. What’s more, Joab was loyal to King David and did not have intentions like those of Abner. All of this (and more) stirred within Joab, as Abner and David talked through a transition plan.

Joab was a bitter man. He and his brother Abishai did not like their king consorting with Abner. Abner had killed their brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon. Bitterness turned Joab into a myopic person who could only see his own perspective. So he and his brother murdered Abner without David’s knowledge. Abner was a stinker in a lot of ways. But he didn’t go around murdering people, and he himself didn’t deserve to be murdered.

When David found out, he chose not to channel his anger into another murder. Instead, he wisely focused on grieving the loss of Abner and demonstrating to all Israel and Judah what sort of king he really was.

“Many people suffer because of the false supposition on which they have based their lives. That supposition is that there should be no fear or loneliness, no confusion or doubt. But these sufferings can only be dealt with creatively when they are understood as wounds integral to our human condition.” Henri Nouwen

Far too many people allow their spiritual and emotional wounds to fester – eventually poisoning their own character. With the illness of bitterness, someone is always bound to get hurt.

We all have to contend with adverse situations and hard circumstances. Our doubts, wonderings, hurts, and suffering may be legitimate, yet if addressed in an illegitimate way, those things become emotional wounds that seek to wound others.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV)

David had no picnic for a life. Saul had tried to repeatedly kill him, hunting David down like an animal. After Saul was killed in battle, there were all sorts of shenanigans going on with people like Abner and Joab. This was no idyllic setting for David to set up a kingdom.

And yet, David made it work by not succumbing to the bitterness which was so easy for others. King David did something different. He seemed to understand that his own woundedness, sufferings, and doubt was the place for personal and spiritual growth – a way of connecting with God.

The hurts which David acquired in his life never became a source of shame to him. Instead, those things became a source of healing – which made him a wounded healer who was able to rule Israel and Judah with mercy, wisdom, and justice.

For us, the same thing can happen. All of the stuff we’ve been through, from people who intended harm for us, doesn’t have to end with being poisoned by bitterness. Our actual woundedness can become the place where we bless the world.

Indeed, ‘tis our weaknesses which give us our true strength.

Bitterness, on the other hand, may fuel some anger and give us a false sense of strength; but it’s only really a matter of time until we implode. And before that happens, the bitter person will likely take down others with the inevitable spit of poison which is vomited up from the pit of their serpentine belly.

We are, like David, to take a different path in dealing with the troubles brought upon us by others:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32, NIV)

The road to a better life is full of twists and turns, and fraught with severe potholes and downed trees. But the road to a bitter life is quite easy, straight and paved perfectly smooth with asphalt. The problem is that it is a one way highway to the cemetery.

The clock is ticking, and it’s no time for bitterness. Which road will you take?

Blessed God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, please don’t let our appropriate anger morph into destructive revenge. Don’t let our raw hurts become a festering and putrid abscess of the soul, which is bent on getting even—repaying harm for harm, evil for evil, and death for death.

Holy Spirit, our Companion and Counselor, don’t let our hearts become gardens for the roots of resentment, growing into bushes of bitterness. Give us, instead, the desire to forgive others. May redemption and restoration have their way in us, through Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Addressing the Divisions Amongst Us (1 Corinthians 4:8-13)

Are you already satisfied? Are you now rich? Have you become kings while we are still nobodies? I wish you were kings. Then we could have a share in your kingdom.

It seems to me that God has put us apostles in the worst possible place. We are like prisoners on their way to death. Angels and the people of this world just laugh at us. Because of Christ we are thought of as fools, but Christ has made you wise. We are weak and hated, but you are powerful and respected. 

Even today we go hungry and thirsty and don’t have anything to wear except rags. We are mistreated and don’t have a place to live. We work hard with our own hands, and when people abuse us, we wish them well. When we suffer, we are patient. When someone curses us, we answer with kind words. Until now we are thought of as nothing more than the trash and garbage of this world. (Contemporary English Version)

On this particular July 4 in the USA, there is perhaps no more pertinent biblical passage than today’s in addressing the current American political and emotional climate. Yet, before this is specifically addressed, let’s understand what was going on with the Apostle Paul and the Corinthian Church…

The Corinthian Divisions

Special interest groups had formed within the church. Each was following a specific person – some Paul, some Apollos, and some other leaders and teachers. The groups began to harden into political church factions. And Paul wanted nothing to do with this way of being Christian, because it is antithetical to the gospel itself.

Christ died to bring unity, not division. Paul established egalitarian churches that showed no favoritism. The Corinthians were called to a way of being that breaks down barriers between rich and poor, Jew and Greek. This business of groups and factions only fostered the division which Christ died to do away with.

By the time the Apostle wrote his letter to the Corinthian Christians, they had devolved a way of being with each other that was judgmental. They were pointing out unhealthy and demeaning comparisons, and boasting about how their group was more spiritual and wise than the others.

The Apostle Tackles the Divisions

So Paul, never one to shy away from initiative and justice, went on the offensive. Admittedly, in today’s New Testament lesson, Paul is quite sarcastic. He was actually mocking the Corinthians for their sinful arrogance and pride; and he used their own ways of being together against them to demonstrate how utterly foolish and ridiculous they were being.

The Apostle Paul countered with some comparisons of his own, using the example of the apostles themselves. Through his sarcastic comparison, he essentially argued that God used the very real oppression and suffering of the apostles toward good and positive ends.

Paul contrasted the apostles and the Corinthians to show the injustice that was happening in their factional wars with each other. By drawing attention away from the Corinthians and putting it on the apostles, Paul upheld a Christian ministry of weakness, not strength.

The apostles endured much suffering and opposition in their ministry. Paul viewed himself as a sort of dishrag that was used to clean the dirty dishes of the world. And he was okay with that, because it had a redemptive purpose. But he was not at all okay with the dirty business of factions and divisions within the church.

George Washington Addresses the Divisions

In our own day, it’s as if we have not learned the lessons of the past. And that is most likely because we have such little historical knowledge and awareness. I know of few people who realize George Washington was very much against a party system of government – and argued against it for similar reasons to the Apostle Paul.

Washington considered parties to be the bane of republican government. Parties were factions that threatened to divide the electorate into competing groups who might use violence to advance their interests.

He argued that political parties might also disrupt the separation of powers, especially in the case of unified government where loyalty to a party could interfere with the system of checks and balances.

What’s more, Washington said that parties threatened to stand in the way of effective representation, with elected officials tempted to represent only fellow party members and to leave opposition groups without a voice in government.

George Washington was mostly unique among the founders in never reconciling himself with political parties and never acknowledging the positive things that parties can bring to republican government.

Although it’s likely that Washington understood that parties were inevitable, he argued for keeping them under restraint and limiting their interference in the political process as much as possible.

Obviously, the party system won out, and rather quickly. In a healthy state of being, political parties can mobilize voters and encourage voter participation. They help build support for officeholders and serve as conduits of communication to the people. Political parties allow minorities to form coalitions to create majority rule.

Stick with the Evidence

Yet, what we seem to continually experience nowadays is the unhealthy aspect of the party system. People are hardened and reified into established positions and refuse to listen to the other. In such a position, evidence-based practices take a back seat.

For example, although there is not a shred of evidence that the former U.S. President experienced a hung jury and a corrupt judge in being convicted on 34 felony counts, a sizable chunk of Americans believe the corruption to be true – seemingly only because the former President said so, and without any objective, reasonable, and serviceable evidence to offer in backing up that claim.

And that prideful hardened spirit is the very thing that was happening in the ancient Corinthian Church. They wanted what they wanted, and they didn’t care what the other group thought. Each group believed (without evidence) they were wise and right. Yet, all of them were, in reality, foolish and unjust.

If we want a better public political climate; the freedom to be who we are; and confidence for the future; then, we had better begin with examining ourselves and listening well to the other first, before we assume that our own group is in the right and should be in control.

The privileges of freedom can only be enjoyed by embracing the responsibilities of freedom. And those responsibilities include a unified concern for the common good of all citizens, and not just the ones I like and who agree with me.

O God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, and the Prince of Peace; Give us grace to lay aside our unhappy divisions. Take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatsoever else may hinder us from godly union and concord. Help us to build bridges, not walls, and live into the unity you provided for us in Christ, through the Spirit. Amen.

The Wounded Healer (Psalm 18:1-6, 43-50)

By French painter Georges Rouault (1871-1958)

I love you, Lord;
    you are my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.
I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
    and he saved me from my enemies.

The ropes of death entangled me;
    floods of destruction swept over me.
The grave wrapped its ropes around me;
    death laid a trap in my path.
But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
    yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
    my cry to him reached his ears…

You gave me victory over my accusers.
    You appointed me ruler over nations;
    people I don’t even know now serve me.
As soon as they hear of me, they submit;
    foreign nations cringe before me.
They all lose their courage
    and come trembling from their strongholds.

The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
    May the God of my salvation be exalted!
He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
    he subdues the nations under me
    and rescues me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
    you save me from violent opponents.
For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
    I will sing praises to your name.
You give great victories to your king;
    you show unfailing love to your anointed,
    to David and all his descendants forever. (New Living Translation)

King David, the psalmist, had no problem with publicly expressing his great feeling of love for God. His desire was to be thoroughly devoted to the Lord; and he confidently discerned God as the source of his strength.

What’s more, David freely recognized God as the One who brought him deliverance. David cried out in distress. In his despair and desperation, he looked to the Lord, and God responded.

This is in contrast to those who complain about God and consider the Lord as distant and uncaring – if existing at all. David’s experience was that of being heard by God. And he wanted everyone to know, so that the faithful may be encouraged.

David didn’t want people becoming discouraged because of the bitterness of others who accuse God of being unconcerned.

The psalmist was not just talking about some mundane request, like asking for parking spot close to the building. David was in a life-and-death situation, stressful beyond imagination. Things were not looking good for him.

It seemed that the insolent, who think God isn’t watching, believed they could act unjustly and do whatever they wanted. Sadly, their lust for power and control blinds them to the larger reality of an invisible God who sees, and who responds at just the right time.

David wanted people to remember and not to forget about the saving actions of God. Because by keeping in mind who God truly is, then we can have confident trust, and will live in a way that is right, just, and good.

“Our service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which we speak.”

Henri Nouwen

A good, right, and just life is always the appropriate response to divine mercy and deliverance. We are saved from evil, so that we might live in the spiritual freedom of purity and peace. And David gave God some due praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for rescuing him from his enemies.

Since David went through all of the adversity, hardship, stress, and suffering of dealing with unjust people, he was in a position to be a wounded healer for us.

A wounded healer is not someone who endorses a victim mentality. Rather, this is a person who has been profoundly hurt – physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually – and comes through the experience with an ability to be present with others and help facilitate healing in those who suffer.

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5, NIV)

We all suffer and face various hard circumstances. And we are all changed by the hurtful encounters. But we don’t all respond the same way to that adversity. The difficult experiences of pain lead us to become either bitter or better.

If we have a wounded healer in our life, there is a good chance that we will be able to move through the hardship and come to a place of gratitude for what the Lord has done for us and how God brought us deliverance.

“As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.”

Henri Nouwen

Deliverance may not end up looking like anything we anticipate. If we are stuck on particular outcomes and have a singular expectation, then we may very well miss the Rescuer when the ship of salvation shows up.

Yet, if we can remain open to and aware of God – as well as of what’s going on inside us – then we shall likely experience healing for our deep wounds of pain. And we will embrace the scars it leaves as a reminder of the Lord’s deliverance.

It could be that things don’t change, at least like we want. In such times, perhaps the greatest healing that can take place is to be healed from the need for healing.

The Lord shows unfailing commitment and steadfast love to the faithful, to those who seek God. We shall find the divine in all circumstances, that is, if we seek God with all our heart.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13, NIV)

Pain cannot be taken away unless we enter into it. So, it only makes sense to me, that we have a guide like the psalmist to lead us, and a Savior like Jesus to rescue us.

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.”

Carl Jung

May you be patient in suffering, as Christ was in his earthly pain.

May the Lord be near you in your time of weakness and wondering.

May God sustain you by divine grace, and grant you courage not to have a failure of faith.

May you know healing of both body and soul.

And may you always believe that what happens to you in this present life is of little account if you hold Christ in eternal life. Amen.

How To Handle the One Who Grieves (Job 37:1-13)

The Wrath of Elihu, by William Blake, 1805

“At this my heart pounds
    and leaps from its place.
Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice,
    to the rumbling that comes from his mouth.
He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven
    and sends it to the ends of the earth.
After that comes the sound of his roar;
    he thunders with his majestic voice.
When his voice resounds,
    he holds nothing back.
God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways;
    he does great things beyond our understanding.
He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’
So that everyone he has made may know his work,
    he stops all people from their labor.
The animals take cover;
    they remain in their dens.
The tempest comes out from its chamber,
    the cold from the driving winds.
The breath of God produces ice,
    and the broad waters become frozen.
He loads the clouds with moisture;
    he scatters his lightning through them.
At his direction they swirl around
    over the face of the whole earth
    to do whatever he commands them.
He brings the clouds to punish people,
    or to water his earth and show his love.” (New International Version)

Job’s Despair, by William Blake, 1821

On the one hand, the biblical book of Job needs little introduction. Many people know it has to do with a man’s innocent suffering and tenacious faith. Most folks are familiar with how it feels to suffer for no apparent reason. And everyone understands the struggle when life is broken by pain and loss.

Yet, on the other hand, the book of Job defies simple anecdotes about suffering. And the relationship between Job and God has a lot of complexity to it. Add in Job’s friends with their wordy offerings into his situation, and there becomes a fuller picture of the true wrestling of faith and patience that occurs.

Elihu was a young person who was with the three friends of Job. After listening to everyone speak, he himself went on a long speech, stretching six chapters from Job 32-37. He was angry with Job, and with Job’s three friends.

The young Elihu had picked up that Job thought of himself more righteous than God. And he was also upset that the “friends” offered nothing helpful, and could provide no convincing answers to Job – thus making it appear that God was guilty of Job’s intense suffering and grief.

Job, by French painter Léon Bonnat, 1880

In today’s Old Testament lesson, we are getting an end part of Elihu’s speech in which he sought to defend God’s justice through observing the majesty and order of creation.

The testimony of God’s sovereign governance of the world is found in the rain, the thunder, and the lightning; through the winter storms and the frost. The Lord uses the created order to both judge and sustain people. And through the ecological systems we can see that God is at work, regulating it all, and using it for divine purposes, Elihu points out.

What strikes me about Elihu’s words is that he is not wrong, he’s just not very helpful. As a believer, I look at his speech as more of a Captain Obvious moment; yes, he is stating theological reality, but no, he’s not really breaking any new ground or giving any great insight here.

Both Job and Job’s friends had already expressed a theological perspective in kind. Which makes me curious as to why Elihu felt so compelled to even talk at all. I think he would have been better remembered, and maybe even hailed as spiritual beyond his years, if he would have just kept silent.

I realize not everyone is going to go with me on that observation, and that’s fine. Yet it seems to me that a good many people lob too many words toward the suffering among us, when what is actually needed is a compassionate presence that has learned to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

There are times when words are not needed, when the situation is so incredibly unique and/or difficult that to offer a speech is like yelling in the woods with no one around; it might make the one yelling feel better but that’s about it.

If anyone needed to feel better it wasn’t Elihu. What’s more, a perceived need of defending God’s reputation or honor perhaps betrays a shortsighted theology to begin with. The Lord is quite big enough to handle any rebuffs or misunderstandings from mouthy humans. God isn’t in Junior High School, requiring a mouthpiece to help him out in a scuffle.

I would personally rather give comfort to a hurting person, instead of theological exhortations and speeches about how we ought to talk to, and about, God. That’s because I observe Jesus bringing genuine comfort and help. And I would much rather take my cues for dealing with grieving people from Christ than from Elihu, or anybody else for that matter.

“God blesses those people who grieve. They will find comfort!” (Matthew 5:4, CEV) Jesus said this in his Sermon on the Mount, as a beatitude of all who desire God’s kingdom. Christ understood well the psalmist’s understanding of God’s role and stance concerning people’s grief: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18, CEB)

The Apostle Paul, taking a lesson from both his Jewish learning and his encounter with Christ said, “mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15, NIV) Comfort because of grief and suffering will be built into the end of time. Methinks, then, that this is important…

“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4, NIV)

In whatever way you choose to look at the book of Job, please don’t miss what is to be our response to another’s pain. There is a time for theological education, and there is a time to put a robust theology into practice through a very real comforting presence of another who is in terrible suffering.

God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of those who suffer: Hear my prayers and grant those who suffer in body, mind, or spirit the power of your grace, that affliction may be turned into health, and sorrow into joy. Amen.