Tag: spiritual pain

The Penitent Soul Changes the World (Hosea 5:15-6:6)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year ALeave a comment
Saint Dominic in Penitence, by Filippo Tarchiani, c.1607

I will return again to my place
    until they acknowledge their guilt and seek my face.
    In their distress they will beg my favor:

“Come, let us return to the Lord,
    for it is he who has torn, and he will heal us;
    he has struck down, and he will bind us up.
After two days he will revive us;
    on the third day he will raise us up,
    that we may live before him.
Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord;
    his appearing is as sure as the dawn;
he will come to us like the showers,
    like the spring rains that water the earth.”

What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
    What shall I do with you, O Judah?
Your love is like a morning cloud,
    like the dew that goes away early.
Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets;
    I have killed them by the words of my mouth,
    and my judgment goes forth as the light.
For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
    the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (New Revised Standard Version Update Edition)

We are meant for righteousness, not wickedness. So, whenever we fail to do what is right, we will suffer pain. This is because wicked attitudes, words, and behavior go against how we were designed and created as humans.

There are times when we all transgress what is right by either doing outright wrong, or by failing to do what is good, right, and just when we have the opportunity to do so. Therefore, repentance is vital and necessary. That is, to practice something that seems to be lost in our contemporary language: penitence.

Penitence simply means to have regret over wrongdoing. When we are penitent, we seek to repent (turn from what is wrong and do what is right). God has no interest in those who offer the forms of repentance without any penitence. That’s why God told the ancient Israelites that love and knowledge are what’s important, more than sacrifices and offerings.

What’s more, penitence is necessary for spiritual maturation and growth. The penitent soul finds that one’s faults and wrongs can be transformed into assets – such is the power of God through one’s penitent repentance.

And even more, the individual who experiences penitence and repents of wrongdoing, is forgiven, leading the whole world to be forgiven along with them.

Just one penitent and repentant person will intercede and confess the sins of the world; and that can change everything. So, imagine when a community of forgiven persons are motivated to bring about humanity’s greatness and nobility through penitent prayer.

I want you to think this thought: Any sort of moral misdeed committed by an individual weakens the soul of the entire community, and indeed, all the world.

Every attitude and action has a consequence, whether good or bad. Penitence, repentance, and forgiveness are the mandatory practices to restoring and renewing a life-giving dynamic to everyone.

Thus, penitence brings healing to the world; the individual who repents is forgiven; and the whole world is forgiven with him.

The powers of evil want to keep us ignorant of such things – which is why knowledge of God is so very important. Ignorance inevitably leads to sin and to the construction of a false self, which then encrusts itself upon the soul.

Penitence and repentance remain as lights deep within a person, even if they are buried beneath all sorts of arrogance and bravado of the ego.

Change of our world and transformation of our lives will not come apart from a vigorous and popular education of God and God’s Word. With so much ignorance all around us, it is imperative that individuals and communities become familiar with how spiritual realities work.

Although it appears that sinister darkness is spreading across the world and into the depths of humanity, the hope and promise of light discerns that evil can and will be overcome.

Penitence is the key to the healing presence this world needs.

For those who have experienced the renewal and reformation of a forgiven life, the steadfast love of God’s grace is very much needed for those still stuck in the mud of wickedness.

In truth, the meanness of a person betrays how much anguish of soul they are actually experiencing. Their estrangement of God is such that they are in great spiritual pain.

So, every situation designed by God to evoke penitence and repentance within such a mean person leads not only to a struggle in the soul, but also to outward conflicts with others in the forms of bullying, arrogance, and hardness of heart.

Not only do we suffer because of another’s grotesque sin, so does God. The pain of the wicked person unfortunately works to bring others pain, including God.

The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. (Genesis 6:5-6, NLT)

Both humanity and God are in anguish when the dark powers take hold within an individual, and in the community.

We must have the grace to bear with others and hold our ground, giving the Spirit of God time to bring about penitence and repentance. For our part, continual learning of divine things and a commitment to steadfast love becomes the hands and feet of our prayers.

When one suffers, we all suffer, because there is an inextricable connection between all people.

Regret, remorse, and sorrow over wrongdoing are the prerequisites for goodness to become ensconced in the world. Penitence serves both the individual and the community, preventing any poisonous root of bitterness to grow up and corrupt many people.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15, NIV)

God and humanity are meant to be united. And the Lord will create whatever conditions are necessary for divisions to be healed, and for people to love one another and love God will all their hearts, souls, minds, and energy.

Almighty God, my heavenly Father: I have sinned against you, through my own fault, in thought, and word, and deed, and in what I have left undone. For the sake of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, forgive me all my offenses; and grant that I may serve you in newness of life, to the glory of your Name. Amen.

Spiritually and Emotionally Overwhelmed

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment
Gethsemane – His Will, by Lucy Dickens

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2, NRSV)

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – Timber Hawkeye

Even Jesus got overwhelmed.

He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:37-39, New International Version)

Jesus was so spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed, he felt so bad, that depression and grief were a powerful part of his experience in the garden as he anticipated facing his horrendous death.

Yes, Jesus became grieved and depressed. Not only did he express such emotions in prayer, but he also told his feelings to his disciples. I personally don’t know of any leader – either in the world or in the church – that would ever admit such a thing to his/her parishioners, employees, or constituents.

Christ confessed that his very soul was encircled with grief-stricken depression. The weight of the emotion was so heavy that Jesus felt as though he was being crushed to death.

“It is one thing for Jesus to feel this way; but should a leader tell his followers he feels this way? Isn’t a part of effective leadership keeping fears from followers? But if Jesus having depression has already taught us it is acceptable, at times, to be depressed, then Jesus talking about his depression teaches that it is acceptable, at times, for leaders to tell followers the bad state of their souls.” – Frederick Dale Bruner, The Church Book: Matthew 13-28

If Jesus needed human companionship and the ability to bear his soul, then how much more do his followers need to do so? And especially the clerics who are ordained to his ministry?

Becoming overwhelmed is a universal human experience:

May my prayer come before you;
    turn your ear to my cry.

I am overwhelmed with troubles
    and my life draws near to death.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am like one without strength. (Psalm 88:2-4, New International Version)

We may become overwhelmed by being devastated or feeling overpowered by a confluence of circumstances all at once. To be overwhelmed is to experience several big emotions all at once – including an awful feeling of estrangement from God and/or others.

Whenever complicated grief, relational distance, traumatic experiences, and too many responsibilities come together, they create a perfect storm which can leave us stuck, lonely, and chronically tired.

There are times when it seems as if every time we turn around, there’s another big shoe that drops. We might end up dealing with so many large circumstances and important situations happening at the same time, that we become spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed with it all.

Although it’s easy to become overwhelmed, it’s hard to get over those big, troubled feelings. Yet, we can do it. We can initially calm ourselves enough to function.

Yet, we also need to understand that the emotional array surrounding our difficult circumstances will take more than a few minutes and a few breathing exercises to overcome; it could take weeks, months, even longer.

What’s more, going forward, there will always be a need to listen to our bodies, be attentive to our feelings, and remain in touch with our gut instincts.

We could use some helpful habits to serve us well, whenever we sense the tug toward that sinking feeling of becoming spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed:

  • Sit with your emotions, especially the grief. That is, acknowledge your feelings, and actually let yourself feel them, and express them in positive ways that don’t damage others or their property.
  • Identify and list your current stressors. Then, prioritize them as to which you will work on first. Avoid multi-tasking. Breaking down your life into manageable pieces, done over time with patience, is a healthy way of approaching the behemoth in front of you.
  • Write out your experiences. Keep a daily journal. Focus on expressing both your emotions and your gratitude. The act of writing in and of itself is a powerful means of bringing health, wholeness, and some sort of sense to your situations.
  • Create art. Learn a musical instrument, write your own poetry, sculpt, or paint. Let any anger and frustration come out through your art, rather than coming out sideways onto others through verbal violence.
  • Discover new or alternative spiritual practices, i.e. mindfulness, meditation, Reiki, aromatherapy, breath prayers, etc. Crazy new circumstances you’ve never experienced before may require some seemingly new or strange practices you’ve never tried before.
  • Change the story you are telling yourself. Look for parts of your experience within your control. Learn from the past. Consider what you might do differently in the future in similar situations. In other words, let your story not be one big nasty carbuncle on your soul; allow it to be a companion that teaches you.
  • Consider having a comfort animal. Caring for a pet fosters emotional healing. This one addition to your life could change it immeasurably for good.
  • Engage your inner critic. Face the judgment you may be giving yourself and replace it with grace. Work on dropping the ego and becoming your true self. And there is perhaps no better way of this happening than facing your inner critic.
  • Exercise. Pay attention to where you carry stress in your body. Find an enjoyable way of moving your body.
  • Connect with others. Join a group of like-minded people, such as a faith community or a volunteer organization. Tell your story to another trusted person, such as a friend, therapist, or pastor.
  • Find your identity. Most spiritual traditions take a high view of humanity as having intrinsic worth. As for me, I know to whom I belong: God. Having my identity firmly in Christ – and not in my abilities, or the lack of them – makes all the difference.

Our limitations, screw-ups, diseases, disorders, and disasters need not define our lives. There is no shame in admitting when we are full of sorrow, in the throes of grief, experiencing depression, or living in an awful situation.

Taking Jesus as an example, we have the courage to face stressful adversity and become the people we were always meant to become.

May the places of darkness within you be turned towards the light. And may you know divine shelter and healing blessing when you are called to stand in the place of pain. Amen.

Waiting with Hope (Romans 8:22-25)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Art depicting cracked earth, a dry riverbed, white plastic shapes, a lack of life and the red glow of fire. The figures are separated, lacking any real connection. By artist Chris De Hoog

For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering.

We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) (New Living Translation)

Salvation is not only personal; it’s also cosmic.

That is, freedom from the power of sin, death, and hell is not only for an individual person, but this deliverance is for all of creation, for the entire earth.

So then, all of creation – not just people – long for and groan for the advent of Christ. My oak tree in the backyard longs for it. My dog whines for it. When it rains, the sky is wondering how long it will have to keep up its tears.

Together with the entire cosmos, we look forward to the complete fulfillment of our inheritance as God’s creation, as God’s creatures.

Since that is true, it is Christians who need to see the privilege and responsibility of conducting ourselves with unity, harmony, and non-violence. We are to live this way because we are foreshadowing the end of the world’s story.

There is a day coming when there will be no more malevolent and selfish posturing for power and control. No more oppression and victimization. No more injustice.

And we have the chance to begin living that way now, and not only in a future time. We get to do this because of Christ.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t suffer anymore. Presently, along with all creation, we have pain like that of a woman in childbirth. This is no papercut inconvenient pain; this is “I hurt like hell” pain. That sort of pain has us awaiting the redemption of our bodies.

I work as a hospital chaplain. Every day, I see suffering, some of it unimaginable. I listen to stories of people longing for healing, and grasping at hope. And I hear plenty of groaning (both the actual physical groans, as well as the more quiet internal sighs and groans).

I say to you: The human body is not meant to be destroyed. Our physical selves are not destined for elimination. No, our bodies are meant to be redeemed; they are meant for salvation. It will not always be this way!

So, we hope.

The Christian has the confident expectation that not only is the soul redeemed, but the body, as well. We can enjoy spiritual salvation now. But we must wait for the physical deliverance. There must be patience on our part until Resurrection Day.

The Apostle Paul was calling on believers to hope. Five times he said it in only two verses. Paul was emphasizing the need for spiritual endurance because we have not yet arrived.

In case you haven’t noticed, we aren’t in heaven; this isn’t a renewed earth; people around the globe are not all presently singing kumbaya together.

Therefore, it is imperative that we live with the tension between the “now” and the “not yet.” It’s a weird existence, this Christian life. But, in reality, we exist in the paradox of being saved now, and not yet being saved.

Another way of putting this is that God’s adopted children have not yet received their inheritance.

But that doesn’t mean we’ve been left to ourselves. We have the first fruits of our salvation: the Holy Spirit.

We presently, right now, enjoy a real and significant portion of God’s freedom and deliverance. We have God’s gift of presence. There is the continuing presence of Jesus Christ with us, the blessed Holy Spirit.

And this divine presence is what today helps us to endure and hold onto hope. By holding this future hope, we learn to accept, cope, and transcend our circumstances through love.

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:1-5, NLT)

The very suffering which we so often try to avoid and get out of, becomes the means of connecting us with Christ and with others.

The problem becomes the answer.

The Spirit groans with our own spirit, and we all become connected together.

I point out, however, that not everyone wants this sort of connection. There are many people who want nothing to do with solidarity.

Some folks want to remain in their own little huddle or small world; and they take offense at anyone outside of their group who seeks to understand and connect with that group’s suffering.

Although everyone’s pain and suffering is unique – and no one can fully know another’s sorrow – that does not mean solidarity and connection are impossible, or undesirable.

I don’t need to have cancer in order to connect with a cancer patient. I don’t have to become victimized to show genuine empathy and extend competent comfort. Yet, sadly, some persons only want connection and consolation from a certain person or group.

But I say to that: Who are you to tell God whom God can love you through?

To suffer is one thing, because we all must suffer in some way. But to compound your suffering by your own volition is another thing altogether.

You deserve better than harming yourself through cutting off help.

It could be that today is the day you reach out to that person you know will be there for you. Or, perhaps now is the time to quite putting off making space for prayer and reflection.

Whatever it is that you need to do, it’s okay to do it, without putting it off until tomorrow.

Lord Jesus Christ, by your patience in suffering you hallowed earthly pain and gave us the example of obedience to your Father’s will: Be near me in my time of weakness and pain; and sustain me by your grace, so that my strength and courage may not fail. Heal me according to you will; and help me always to believe that whatever happens to me here is of little account if you hold me in eternal life. Amen.

Feeling the Pain (Job 23:1-9, 16-17)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Then Job answered:

“Today also my complaint is bitter;
    his hand is heavy despite my groaning.
Oh, that I knew where I might find him,
    that I might come even to his dwelling!
I would lay my case before him
    and fill my mouth with arguments.
I would learn what he would answer me
    and understand what he would say to me.
Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power?
    No, but he would give heed to me.
There the upright could reason with him,
    and I should be acquitted forever by my judge.

“If I go forward, he is not there;
    or backward, I cannot perceive him;
on the left he hides, and I cannot behold him;
    I turn to the right, but I cannot see him….

God has made my heart faint;
    the Almighty has terrified me.
If only I could vanish in darkness,
    and thick darkness would cover my face. (New Revised Standard Version)

Here is Job, sitting on an ash heap, of all things, and feeling like an ash. His children are gone, all killed by tragic circumstances. His wealth is no more. And now he is lamenting, because he can do nothing else; he has painful nasty sores covering his body that won’t let him do anything.

Job and his friends, by Ilya Repin (1844-1930)

And if that isn’t enough, Job’s “friends” come and end up giving him unhelpful speeches about how all this suffering is really his fault. They reasoned (wrongly) that there must be loads of sin in Job’s life for him to be going through such horror. God is punishing him, they insist.

Job’s companions had initially started out well. For seven days they sat with him in silence (Job 2:13). But then, after a week had passed, they just couldn’t take it anymore. They had the compulsion to speak. And when they opened their mouths, it was merely a bunch of ignorant gobbledygook.  

The friends, the companions, were themselves having an existential theological crisis. Their worldview was being challenged and threatened. So, rather than be open-minded and consider that their views may need to be altered, the friends acted like enemies, accusing Job of sin.

At issue was their clear and clean theology of believing that good guys are blessed with wealth, health, and happiness; and bad guys are cursed with poverty, illness, and misery – like Job.

They could not imagine or entertain the thought that God would let a good person suffer like Job was suffering. Therefore, Job must be bad, and they tried to find that hidden sin within him  to which he must repent of.

Yet, in truth, not all suffering – even terrible grinding suffering – is the result of personal sin or bad decision-making. Sometimes, good people suffer horribly, too.

Times may change, but people throughout the ages don’t. Today, we still think along the same lines as the companions of Job. There is far too much blaming of victims for their victimization; and way too many flippant beliefs which say to others in a terrible situation things like, “You reap what you sow.”

Job, through all of the loss, tragedy, and then suffering from his friends, held onto his integrity. Even though Job knew his situation was undeserved, he did not curse God, nor his friends.

Job made the incredible claim that suffering is not always the result of one’s personal sin – something he himself might not have said before his tragic experiences.

But just because Job did not curse, does not mean he was nice and okay with what unfolded in his life. He wished he was never born. He felt like death would be preferable to living. He contended with God, and longed for justice. His ultimate wish was that God would just speak and say something, anything.

Job was hurting so terribly, that he had bitter words of despair for God. He could make absolutely no sense of what was happening. He could not understand why he was the brunt of so much suffering. It felt like God was attacking him, and he said so.

The silence and absence of God were palpable for Job. He longed to speak with God. And his greatest lament – out of all the reasons to lament – was the horrible feeling of being alone without God’s presence and consolation.

It is interesting that we have no mention in the story about Job’s friends speaking directly to God, or praying to God, or addressing God in any way.

They certainly felt free to tell Job who God is, and how God operates in the world. But there was never any intercession for their friend, and no words of crying out to God on behalf of Job. There was only words of rebuke and chastisement, words of hurt that were as painful as the physical sores on his body

The phrase I hear most often from people speaking to the person in grief and pain is, “You just need to be strong.” And a close second is, “Everything happens for a reason.” The latter phrase is simply unhelpful, and the former phrase is actually hurtful.

It is not a sin to be weak. Just in case you read that sentence too quickly, I will say it again: It. Is. Not. A. Sin. To. Be. Weak!

We understand that when someone breaks a bone, they’ll be limited with weakness for a while. And we make helpful accommodations to that effect. But when someone’s heart is broken, and their life emotionally shredded, we expect them to be strong for everyone else around them.

It may be true that everything happens for a reason, yet most of the time, none of us knows the reason why we’re going through what we’re going through. And we probably won’t, this side of heaven.

If we try to have explanations for everything, then we join the company of Job’s companions who had to try and understand what was happening. And their conclusions were very wrong.

However, there is nothing wrong with weeping with those who weep; and expressing pain, grief, and even anger – both for the one who laments, and those who lament with them.

Pain cannot be relieved unless it is acknowledged, affirmed, and addressed by both the one who suffers and the community who surrounds them.

Where there is lament, there are loud words and expressions of grief. When lament is said to God, then God can hold that person, and rock them in the arms of mercy.

But silence is agonizing. We need friends who will listen and grieve with us. It is vital to have companions who voice to God what we cannot voice in our weakness. All of us, together, must hold onto God, and trust that the Lord hears, and will answer.

As Jesus cried out on the cross, I cry out to you in pain, O God my Creator. Do not forsake me. Grant me relief from this suffering and preserve me in peace; through Jesus Christ my Savior, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.