Tag: spiritual life

Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-19)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Tamar, by Alexandre Cabanel, 1875

In the course of time, Amnon, son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.

Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.

Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?”

Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

“Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’”

So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.”

David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.

“Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”

“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”

“No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”

But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. (New International Version)

Tamar, David’s daughter, photo by Dikla Laor

There is a very sad reality that has been pervasive throughout human history. Sexual assault and rape has existed as long as people have been on this earth.

Today’s account of Tamar’s awful experience, of having her life upended and changed forever, and of being dehumanized – treated as an object and not as a person created in the image of likeness of God – is unfortunately a story of far too many women in history, as well as today.

To have this sort of thing happen to just one woman is unacceptable, and ought never to happen again. And yet, countless female lives (not to mention many male lives, as well) have been altered by another (or others) who only viewed them from a place of evil desire.

It isn’t right. It’s not just. It is not good. Downright ungodly is what it truly is. There is nobody who should ever have to go through something like Tamar did.

There are enough of these sorts of stories in history, in literature, and in the news, that it’s hard for past victims not to be re-traumatized all over again – remembering what happened in their own lives, and being triggered yet again with unwanted memories.

That is neither the Bible’s intention, nor mine. Rather, I want to acknowledge Tamar’s experience as having happened, and that it was not her fault in any way, shape, or form. I see Tamar, in the healthy sense of seeing. And I hope, if you in some way relate to Tamar, that you are seen this day by someone who cares, and by a God who understands and grieves along with you.

There’s no need for me, therefore, to rehash the particulars of today’s Old Testament story. This is a scriptural case in which reading it once is sufficient for today. The real question is what we are going to do with it.

For those who are concerned, and wonder how to help someone, a friend or family member, who has been harassed or assaulted, consider the following:

  • Believe them, period. There’s no need to ask a lot of probing questions, as if you’re trying to find the truth. Encourage and support, don’t judge or criticize.
  • Affirm to them that they are not alone. Offer your support and time. Let them know of resources which might help (see below).
  • Let them know this was not their fault. Avoid blaming or trying to find out what they could have done differently.
  • Empower them. It’s their choice to tell their story, or not; or what parts of the story they want to reveal. Do anything you can to let them know they have options, and that they are in control of the conversation.
  • Ask how you can help. “How can I help you?” assumes that the other person knows better than you do about what they need. And keep asking as the days, weeks, and months go on.
  • Tell them your observations. If they look mad or sad, anxious or depressed, or are doing something which seems concerning, offer your observations without judgment. You can always ask them if your own perspective is on, or off.
  • Refer to others who can help. A person in crisis needs more help, not less. Not only might they need a trained therapist, but they may also need other forms of support in order to cope with what happened. Changing a residence, dropping classes, or help with basic daily chores are examples of assistance they may want. They might also need others who can help them with unhealthy ways of coping such as alcohol or risky behaviors.
  • Know your own limits. Steer clear from trying to do the job of people who have the training to do it. Know what you can do and not do. Also, if you do all the problem-solving, they might miss opportunities to learn new ways of coping. For example they might be reluctant to confront important but painful issues in therapy if they have already been discussed with you.

A few resources of help for those affected by sexual assault:

The National Sexual Assault Hotline has confidential 24/7 support either online at online.rainn.org, or by phone at 800-656-4673

End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI) is an organization which is a catalyst for justice and healing, so that every survivor of sexual assault and domestic violence gets the right response, every time. The EVAWI specializes in trauma-informed law enforcement responses. You can find them online at evawintl.org

Rise serves to bring equality to sexual assault survivors across the country and around the world; and seeks to help anyone who has the vision and drive to pen their own rights into existence. They can be found at risenow.us

The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), a social change organization, is dedicated to creating a social, political, and economic environment in which violence against women no longer exists. You can find them online at nnedv.org

Gracious heavenly Father: You love and care for all of your children, especially the smallest and most vulnerable. We entrust to you the lives of the many who have been sexually abused, and whose trust and innocence have been destroyed. Help us to hear their cries of pain and to take responsibility for their broken lives.

May they may find understanding and support so that with the help of your grace their wounds may be healed, and they may again know peace. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who shared our weakness in all things but sin, and lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.

The Effects of Bad Decisions (2 Samuel 12:15-25)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David and Nathan, by Angelika Kauffman (1741-1807)

After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.”

David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked.

“Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.”

Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”

He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah. (New International Version)

The backstory to today’s Old Testament lesson is that King David not only screwed up, but he also jumped off the diving board into a big nasty pool of immoral excrement.

He saw a woman, Bathsheba, and had to have her. Thinking of only his desire, and not her needs, or that she was a married woman, he used his royal authority to get her. And he slept with her. What’s more, she became pregnant by the king.

At that point, David went to the dark side by covering up his immorality and shame. He eventually went so far as to ensure that Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah (who was both an upright man and an innocent victim) was killed in battle. The king again used his authority to arrange a murder to look like a death in military battle.

With Uriah dead, David brought Bathsheba to his palace as another one of his wives. And no one was the wiser… Except God, who was very displeased with the entire affair. So, the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to David. Through the savvy use of parable, Nathan was successful in helping the king to see his own terrible guilt.

To King David’s credit, he came to the point of recognizing his great faults, and repented of his awful doings. And to God’s credit, David was forgiven.

However, despite the reality of repentance and forgiveness, there are still consequences to our actions. And what is heartbreaking, is that the effects of our bad decisions and bad actions can and do affect others.

As a result of one man’s sin, a woman was violated, a man was murdered, and a baby was conceived, born, and soon died.

Bathsheba attends to her child as David fasts and prays, by W.A. Foster, 1897

King David came to the point of understanding this reality. True repentance, forgiveness, and faith, leads us to a real life which exudes genuineness and authenticity. It won’t undo the past; yet, it will affect the present, and can change the future – that is, if we let mercy and grace have its way.

David’s genuine fatherly love came from his restored place, and was shown by his authentic grieving and mourning. He did not want Bathsheba’s baby son to die. Yet, the child did die. Unfortunately, innocent people often become collateral damage because of another’s unthinking actions.

The king’s behavior, after the child died, shows his pained acceptance of the situation. And his consoling of Bathsheba is the first real evidence we have of David thinking of her instead of himself.

The story reassures us that God loves the next child born from Bathsheba and David. This baby (the future King Solomon) will not pay for his father’s crimes; nor will any other child that David fathers.

The typical trajectory of David’s life was to learn from God’s law and from the experiences God gave him. Yet, in the case of Bathsheba and Uriah, King David ended up learning the hard way that he could not rest on his laurels once he was in a secure and successful place in his life.

Maybe because David spent so much of his adult life facing life-and-death situations, that once he could relax a bit and not have to worry about his life, he let his spiritual and emotional guard down and fell into sin.

After committing adultery, David found himself in a spiritual and emotional place he had never been in before. Yet, instead of confessing his crime to God and making things right with Bathsheba and Uriah, he worked to cover up everything.

Specifically, shame is the place that David had never experienced before, at least to this degree. And when shame gets its poisonous talons into us, it is very hard to be open, real, genuine, and authentic.

In an effort to keep the secrets, the lies morph into more bad decisions, and more bad decisions become ever-increasing bad actions. It becomes a downward spiral of icky guilt which will never be assuaged apart from the divine tools of confession, repentance, faith, and reconciliation.

I trust and hope that it will not take a prophet like Nathan to show you and I how egregious some of our decisions and actions actually are.

Instead, we can make the daily decision to practice our spiritual disciplines, so that when we find ourselves in that good position of no longer having to fight for survival, we will be able to exercise wisdom from the largess of God’s grace which fills us.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin. Amen. (Psalm 51:1-2, NIV)

Divine Goodness, Despite Human Ingratitude (Psalm 78:23-29)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Quail in the Wilderness, by Caspar Luyken, 1698

Yet he commanded the skies above
    and opened the doors of heaven;
he rained down on them manna to eat
    and gave them the grain of heaven.
Mortals ate of the bread of angels;
    he sent them food in abundance.
He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens,
    and by his power he led out the south wind;
he rained flesh upon them like dust,
    winged birds like the sand of the seas;
he let them fall within their camp,
    all around their dwellings.
And they ate and were well filled,
    for he gave them what they craved. (New Revised Standard Version)

Today’s psalm is the second longest in the psalter (72 verses, with Psalm 119 the longest at a hefty 176 verses). Along with Psalms 105-106, Psalm 78 remembers and rehearses the history of Israel. This is a psalm which is meant for teaching and passing on important lessons.

The upshot of this psalm’s historical recollection is that the people’s ancestors were faithless; therefore, those reading the psalm now should live differently in a positive life of goodness, having observed how the past actors serve as a negative example of ingrates.

The psalmist, Asaph, viewed past events as highly informative for present circumstances. His purpose for crafting the psalm was explicit. He wanted the people:

 to put their hope in God—
        never forgetting God’s deeds,
        but keeping God’s commandments—
    and so that they won’t become like their ancestors:
    a rebellious, stubborn generation,
        a generation whose heart wasn’t set firm
        and whose spirit wasn’t faithful to God. (Psalm 78:7-8, CEB)

The verses for today’s lectionary reading have a unique place within the psalmist’s rehearsal of the past. They connect to the previous section (verses 9-22) which recounts the Lord’s angry response concerning Israel’s unbelief and rebellion.

In many ways, Psalm 78 has a consistent theme of human stubbornness, lack of faith, and wanting to do their own thing apart from God. Bucking God’s covenant code and moral law was ever-present in Israel’s history. And yet…

The Lord remained the same: Faithful and true. Furthermore, God stubbornly showed steadfast divine love and covenant loyalty to the people, despite their herky-jerky commitment and fickle faith.

Manna from heaven

Although the theme of human failure runs throughout the psalm, the dominant idea points to God’s gracious mercy, eternal faithfulness, and steadfast love. Most of all, the psalmist wanted his readers to remember the goodness and grace of God.

The people’s unbelief in no way stymied the promises of God. That’s because salvation and deliverance, faith and hope, do not originate and are not sustained by humans, but by the Lord God almighty who created heaven and earth.

Even though the people were faithless, and thus, had no trust in God’s power; nevertheless, the Lord opened the doors of heaven in order to meet the needs of people who did not deserve divine help.

The verses for today remember the story of God’s provision of manna and quail in the desert (Exodus 16). The Lord was gracious, merciful, and kind to the Israelites, despite their incessant grumbling. God responded to them because of their sheer need, and not because of any righteousness coming from them.

God not only provided food, but gave the manna in abundance, and the quail in superabundance. The contrast could not be any more glaring: Israel murmured, grumbled, complained, and demonstrated a lack of faith; God granted the Israelites a ridiculous amount of food, and evidenced steadfast faithfulness to the covenant.

The supreme goodness of God brings out, in stark relief, the incredible foolishness of Israel’s attitude. In the Exodus account, while the meat was still in their mouths, God’s anger flared because of the people’s recalcitrance.

On the surface, the divine response of judgment may appear out of sorts to the divine grace shown to Israel. Yet, the Lord cares about the holistic needs of people, and not only in giving sustenance.

God wants faithful and obedient people. The Lord desires goodness, righteousness, and justice to be the hallmark of the community.

To have your belly full and your spirit empty is an affront to God – because the Lord is good, right, and just, and does not tolerate impertinence, impudence, and impetuousness. Vice and ingratitude only makes a person an imbecile who is worthless to their fellow humanity.

Divine punishment – anywhere you find it in Holy Scripture – is meant to draw people back into relationship with God. Another way of phrasing this, is that God delivers people and grants them freedom, so that they will have no obstacles toward living a good, right, and just life.

No matter the response of God – whether it is by miraculous provision or by divine punishment – it’s always a response of grace; the Lord consistently acts from a place of compassion and commitment to doing what is best for the community.

Whereas the Israelites repeatedly cycled themselves through spirals of faith and unbelief, gratitude and grumbling, obedience and disobedience; God, however, constantly demonstrated the presence of grace and mercy, righteousness and justice, holiness and love.

The only reason the Israelites (and the entire human race, for that matter) are not wiped out is because God forgave their iniquity and did not destroy them. What’s more, the Lord didn’t even let them destroy themselves, unwittingly by their own unawareness and foolishness. (Psalm 78:36-39)

I am profoundly glad that God is the bigger person in the relationship with humanity. The Lord is continually mindful of who we are, as well as God’s own divine essence and power.

Yet he, being compassionate,
    forgave their iniquity
    and did not destroy them;
often he restrained his anger
    and did not stir up all his wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh,
    a wind that passes and does not come again. (Psalm 78:38-39, NRSV)

As people created in the image and likeness of God, we find our highest joy and greatest fulfillment in receiving the good things from God with gratitude; and of giving goodness to others in a spirit of love – no matter what.

Gracious and almighty God: Open wide the eyes of my soul that I may see the good in all things. Grant me today a new vision of your truth. Inspire me with the spirit of joy and gladness. Make me a cup of strength to suffering souls. Amen.

Avoid the Downward Spiral (Judges 6:1-10)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, and for seven years he gave them into the hands of the Midianites. Because the power of Midian was so oppressive, the Israelites prepared shelters for themselves in mountain clefts, caves and strongholds. Whenever the Israelites planted their crops, the Midianites, Amalekites and other eastern peoples invaded the country. 

They camped on the land and ruined the crops all the way to Gaza and did not spare a living thing for Israel, neither sheep nor cattle nor donkeys. They came up with their livestock and their tents like swarms of locusts. It was impossible to count them or their camels; they invaded the land to ravage it. Midian so impoverished the Israelites that they cried out to the Lord for help.

When the Israelites cried out to the Lord because of Midian, he sent them a prophet, who said, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I brought you up out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. I rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians. And I delivered you from the hand of all your oppressors; I drove them out before you and gave you their land. I said to you, ‘I am the Lord your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.’ But you have not listened to me.” (New International Version)

Frankly, the biblical Book of Judges is rather depressing. Its descriptive arc is a sad downward spiral of forgetfulness and disobedience – with the people crying out for deliverance and being saved – and then another slide, even lower than before, into memory issues, and negligence of the law.

Newer and greater levels of depravity occur, the further one reads into the Book of Judges. Indeed, early in the book we are given the reason for such an immoral and idolatrous slide:

The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel…

After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals. They forsook the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They aroused the Lord’s anger because they forsook him and served Baal and the Ashtoreths. 

In his anger against Israel the Lord gave them into the hands of raiders who plundered them. He sold them into the hands of their enemies all around, whom they were no longer able to resist. Whenever Israel went out to fight, the hand of the Lord was against them to defeat them, just as he had sworn to them. They were in great distress. (Judges 2:7, 10-15, NIV)

In today’s Old Testament lesson, yet another round of disobedience brought yet another threat, in the form of the Midianites and Amalekites. Midian’s annual raids of Israelite land destroyed crops and led to the livestock eventually starving. The people were left just trying to eek-out a living and survive.

The Midianites were a nomadic people, subsisting mostly through trade. They were not farmers, and really did not need to raid Israel. It seems they came and did their damage just to keep Israel weak and under their thumb, unable to compete in the caravan markets that Midian depended upon.

The story of crop destruction, and Midianites as thick as locusts, communicates divine judgment and connects with Joshua’s warning to remember God and be faithful to the covenant law:

“If you violate the covenant of the Lord your God, which he commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and you will quickly perish from the good land he has given you.” (Joshua 23:16, NIV)

The Israelites cried out in their distress to God for deliverance. They were answered by an unknown prophet who clearly connected the people’s disloyalty to their adverse situation. Although Canaanite gods may have been tolerant of worshiping other deities, the Lord, Israel’s God, is certainly not.

In the case of the ancient Israelites, the people’s disobedience caused their suffering. The prophet did not promise any sort of deliverance. And the distressed people were left wondering if they had been abandoned by God.

This entire situation is a set up for the character of Gideon, who will come on the scene as one of the dominant deliverers in the Book of Judges. And Gideon’s story further illustrates the ever-increasing relationship between Israel, Canaan, and immoral behavior.

By the time we get to the end of the book, there is a sort of morbid and depressing anarchy that has settled amongst the people, ending in the statement:

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit. (Judges 21:26, NIV)

That was not a statement of freedom, but of depravity. It was almost like living in a dystopian society in which nobody was really safe.

Yet God always has had a remnant of people who are faithful and remember the great things which the Lord has done.

So, if we want to avoid the downward spiral in the Book of Judges, the believer is encouraged to keep memory of God’s works, words, and ways in this world; and to remain faithful in obeying God’s law and embracing God’s love.

We need the law of love, and the love of law, in order to rightly relate to our neighbor and be concerned for the common justice of all persons – instead of living in a bubble of supposed safety, doing only what seems right to me.

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought us in safety to this new day: Preserve us with your mighty power, that we may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.