Tag: spiritual confusion

Questions Without Answers (Job 38:1-7, 38-41)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
God Answers Job Out of the Whirlwind, by William Blake, 1805

Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind:

“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Gird up your loins like a man;
    I will question you, and you shall declare to me.

“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
    Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
    Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
    or who laid its cornerstone
when the morning stars sang together
    and all the heavenly beings shouted for joy?…

“Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,
    so that a flood of waters may cover you?
Can you send forth lightnings, so that they may go
    and say to you, ‘Here we are’?
Who has put wisdom in the inward parts
    or given understanding to the mind?
Who has the wisdom to number the clouds?
    Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens
when the dust runs into a mass
    and the clods cling together?

“Can you hunt the prey for the lion
    or satisfy the appetite of the young lions,
when they crouch in their dens
    or lie in wait in their covert?
Who provides for the raven its prey,
    when its young ones cry to God
    and wander about for lack of food? (New Revised Standard Version)

The Book of Job is rather long. After the initial two chapters which set the scene for Job’s awful suffering, we then get an extended and agonizing thirty-five chapters of speeches between Job and his companions. It’s a lot of words which generally go nowhere.

So, by the time we get to this point in chapter 38 of Job, we may likely say, “Finally, God speaks!” Indeed, this is the moment Job has anticipated.

Perhaps we are looking for something in Job’s story which may help us in our own story of suffering. Like Job, maybe we’re looking for vindication of our situation, a restoration to some semblance of life before the grief, or to have our reputation upheld.

But that is not what we get from God. For the next nearly four chapters, God only speaks in questions, and does not answer a single one of them.

If it’s answers to questions we’re searching for, it is unlikely you will get them, at least on this side of heaven. You are more likely to get even more questions than you started with. And then, imagine being questioned by God, and having no answers for God whatsoever.

Yet, that is the point. We humans know jack squat – absolutely nothing, in comparison to an omnipresent and omniscient God.

If it’s God’s voice you really want to hear, you may not know what you’re actually asking for. That was certainly true for Job and his friends. God’s questions are really rather rhetorical; there is no way any of us could really answer them with any sort of knowledge or understanding. It would be a bit like a parent asking their toddler to describe his own birth and how it happened.

God’s unanswerable questions revolve mostly around the workings of the universe. God is the Creator, and none of us were around when it all came into existence. So, of course, we have no answers.

Yet, with all of the questions, we quickly get the impression that humans have very little control over much of anything. And I think that perhaps God wants us to be aware of that reality.

It seems to me that with every question of God, we are led to believe that God is God, and is really big; and that we are not God, and are pretty dang small.

I don’t think any of this is meant to make us feel irrelevant or disposable. Rather, it gives us some needed perspective, that is, that our perspective on world issues, events, and problems is very narrow. But God sees the whole big picture and has a stellar full perspective of all things and all people.

The God in the Book of Job is no vending machine deity, in which we can pick-and-choose what we like and don’t like. There is no grand certainty that if we press the right buttons in prayer that we get what we want.

Therefore, God is not some automaton who predictably rewards the righteous, and punishes the wicked (according to our definitions of those terms). Yet this is the God that Job’s friends believed in – which is why they reflexively interpreted Job’s situation as Job himself being a sinful man.

Even Job believed in this sort of God, at least to some degree. Up to the point of his terrible trouble, he was good and righteous, and received due reward for his faithfulness. The divine system was serving Job well.

But then the system seems to have broken down. Job interpreted God as not doing the expected divine job of operating within the predictable divine structure.

Believers in every generation and era must come to grips with the reality that – although personal virtue and devotion are important – one’s piety does not necessarily lead to personal health nor wealth.

In other words, good guys don’t always win in this life, because having faith typically means we will actually suffer, rather than not.

This is, to me, good news. Why? Because it means, conversely, that persons victimized by violence, poverty, and loss are not necessarily to blame for their troubles. Frankly, there are times when bad things happen to us that are not our fault, and we don’t see any good reason for it happening.

Whenever God is silent, we might start to think that God is also absent. We may begin to entertain nihilist thoughts that nothing matters, that everything in this universe is just random chaos.

Yet, God’s response with all the questions lets us know that there is a solid structural foundation to this universe that we aren’t always aware of. In other words, there is meaning, purpose, and order to it all. We are not forgotten. God sees and remembers us.

I do believe there is a reason for everything. However, I do not believe that we are always privy to know what that purpose may be. Which means that oftentimes, like Job, we don’t have any answers to our existential questions of human tragedy and trouble. This line of thinking isn’t meant to be a cop out; it’s meant to help us accept that we are human.

Sometimes all we can do is affirm what we know to be true, and accept the limits of our own human understanding of things such as:

  • God is God. I am not.
  • God created the world. I didn’t.
  • God established order in the universe. I sometimes see order, and oftentimes see what looks like random chaos.
  • God is Love all the time. I love, but not always.
  • God is with us, even though I may not always sense or feel that divine presence.

Maybe what is most important is that we humans keep up our dialogue with God – our questions, musings, emotions, and expressions of faith and devotion. Because it is in the relationship that we discover the key to the universe.

O God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light rises up in darkness: Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what you would have us to do, so that the Spirit of wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in your light we may see light, and in your straight path may not stumble. Amen.

Why? (Job 18:1-21)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Job speaks with his friends, by Gustave Doré, 1866

Then Bildad the Shuhite replied:

“When will you end these speeches?
    Be sensible, and then we can talk.
Why are we regarded as cattle
    and considered stupid in your sight?
You who tear yourself to pieces in your anger,
    is the earth to be abandoned for your sake?
    Or must the rocks be moved from their place?

“The lamp of a wicked man is snuffed out;
    the flame of his fire stops burning.
The light in his tent becomes dark;
    the lamp beside him goes out.
The vigor of his step is weakened;
    his own schemes throw him down.
His feet thrust him into a net;
    he wanders into its mesh.
A trap seizes him by the heel;
    a snare holds him fast.
A noose is hidden for him on the ground;
    a trap lies in his path.
Terrors startle him on every side
    and dog his every step.
Calamity is hungry for him;
    disaster is ready for him when he falls.
It eats away parts of his skin;
    death’s firstborn devours his limbs.
He is torn from the security of his tent
    and marched off to the king of terrors.
Fire resides in his tent;
    burning sulfur is scattered over his dwelling.
His roots dry up below
    and his branches wither above.
The memory of him perishes from the earth;
    he has no name in the land.
He is driven from light into the realm of darkness
    and is banished from the world.
He has no offspring or descendants among his people,
    no survivor where once he lived.
People of the west are appalled at his fate;
    those of the east are seized with horror.
Surely such is the dwelling of an evil man;
    such is the place of one who does not know God.” (New International Version)

It only makes sense that Bildad was expecting a sensible discussion with Job.

But it was not going to happen.

Why?

Because grief doesn’t make sense; it’s nonsensical, whimsical, and fractal.

If you’ve ever been in a discussion with someone in which the person speaks illogically, it’s likely that you tried to talk sensibly and logically, pointing out the thought process.

And if you have ever done that, it’s also likely that the person did not change one iota of what they said.

Why?

Because people are not primarily thinking creatures who happen to have emotions. Instead, people are emotional creatures who happen to think.

Why do people ask, “Why?”

Because they’re angry. It’s not a cerebral question; it’s an emotional question.

Bildad, a “friend” of Job, was exasperated with his carrying on about being innocent, contending with God, and expressing anger – which is rather funny, because Bildad himself was angry.

Why?

Because supposedly logical and controlled people have illogical and emotional issues, too.

Welcome to the human race, all of you who pride yourselves on your flawless logic and neatly formed theology.

There is a chunk of people in this world who think that everything either works, or ought to work, according to Cartesian coordinates.

A Cartesian coordinate system describes the position of points in space using perpendicular axis lines that meet at a point called the origin. Any given point’s position can be described based on its distance from the origin along each axis. In other words, Cartesian coordinates allow one to specify the location of a point.

So, why am I talking about Cartesian coordinates?

Because that is what Bildad the Shuhite was trying to do with Job, to fix him on a plane that he could understand.

Because in Bildad’s theological world, the wicked are punished by God with bad circumstances and suffering. In the Cartesian world, as the wickedness increases, so does the pain and suffering.

Hence, one is being punished by God… But does the world really operate according to Bildad’s conception of it?

Hell no! (apparently wicked people say that sort of thing when not in the Cartesian world; they should probably get right with God; and, by the way, sarcastic people are wicked, too)

Bildad went so far as to suggest that perhaps Job doesn’t know God at all.

After all, that’s where one goes in a conversation with someone who doesn’t conform to clear and tidy Cartesian-style theology.

They can preach hellfire and damnation to others, yet when another even uses the word “hell” in a phrase, that is where they’re going to go.

It seems that Bildad isn’t really making sense.

Why?

Because he’s stuck. He cannot imagine life outside of his theological bubble.

The difference between Bildad and Job is that Job will admit that he is stuck, confused, messed-up, angry, and has no decent answer to what is going on in his life.

Whereas Bildad would never admit such a thing, even though he is so far stuck in the mud that it would take a divine miracle to get him out.

In fact, it appears we all need a divine miracle.

But God is silent.

Why?

I don’t know. But I do know that it won’t be for long.

Everyone might want to brace themselves for what’s coming.

Why?

Because we will receive precisely what we’re looking for: A word from God. But it’s probably not going to be what we expect.

After all, we aren’t living in a world of Cartesian coordinates.

O Lord God almighty, Creator of heaven and earth: I admit that these people you created drive me nuts! And I’m one of them! I can barely live with myself, let alone others.

In my wondering and confusion and pain, it’s hard to focus on anything. I don’t know why everything is upside-down and topsy-turvy. Yet, somehow I know, and am convinced, that you are present with me, and that you love me.

How in the world could I accept good from you, and not bad? If you love me, and are present with me, then I believe that whatever happens from this point forward, I shall not be forsaken by you.

Contend with those who contend against me. Help me with today, for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Amen.

Get Low Enough To See (John 7:25-36)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

At that point some of the people of Jerusalem began to ask, “Isn’t this the man they are trying to kill? Here he is, speaking publicly, and they are not saying a word to him. Have the authorities really concluded that he is the Messiah? But we know where this man is from; when the Messiah comes, no one will know where he is from.”

Then Jesus, still teaching in the temple courts, cried out, “Yes, you know me, and you know where I am from. I am not here on my own authority, but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, but I know him because I am from him and he sent me.”

At this they tried to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come. Still, many in the crowd believed in him. They said, “When the Messiah comes, will he perform more signs than this man?”

The Pharisees heard the crowd whispering such things about him. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees sent temple guards to arrest him.

Jesus said, “I am with you for only a short time, and then I am going to the one who sent me. You will look for me, but you will not find me; and where I am, you cannot come.”

The Jews said to one another, “Where does this man intend to go that we cannot find him? Will he go where our people live scattered among the Greeks, and teach the Greeks? What did he mean when he said, ‘You will look for me, but you will not find me,’ and ‘Where I am, you cannot come’?” (New International Version)

Once in a while, I pray something like this: “Lord, if I’m not seeing you when I ought to, or am not getting something you’re trying to show me, please use your divine baseball bat and whomp me upside the head!”

That’s because, far more often than I would like to admit, I miss seeing the Divine whenever God shows up. That’s true for all of us, as well. We tend to mistake experiencing God when the Lord comes and stands in front of us.

In the New Testament Gospels, some who followed Jesus ended up turning around and going back to their old life. Either the situations with Jesus got too dicey, or Christ’s teaching seemed too confusing. When that happens, it’s too easy to forget Jesus altogether, and never pay attention to him.

There are others who treated Jesus with contempt, simply because they didn’t recognize who he really is. One cannot have faith if they don’t know or acknowledge the object of faith. You cannot believe Jesus if you don’t believe he is from God.

And, of course, there are those who see Christ for who he is. Yet, some of them see Jesus as a threat and want to be rid of him. Others see him as a great healer and teacher, and follow Jesus in order to gain something from him.

However, there are others who see through spiritual eyes and gain the faith to believe and follow him.

All of us, in some way or another in our lives, have misread Jesus and mistaken him for the gardener or some other person.

Many of the Jews in Christ’s own lifetime rejected him because they believed him to be a common nondescript Jew. They knew his parents, and his family. Jesus was too familiar to be special, let alone the Son of God. Besides, everyone knows nothing good comes from the Hicksville that’s Nazareth, right?

The thing is: People miss seeing Jesus for who he is (sometimes including you and me) because we have particular expectations and requirements of our personal Jesus. In other words, it is awfully easy to make Jesus Christ into our own image of how he should be.

Having worked with college students for many years, I continually got a kick out of some of them who had precise requirements for a spouse, and certain expectations of how their potential kids were going to be someday.

It went well beyond having the same core cardinal values. Handsome and beautiful, smart but not too smart, assertive but not sassy, subservient but not a washrag, a 3-point Calvinist but not 5-point, willing to eat anything on the table except weird food that would embarrass, willing to live on a shoestring budget, funny but not quirky…. Actually, I could keep going; there’s a lot more. But you get the idea.

You may be curious as to my counsel to them. I typically said something along the lines of “I guess you’ll never get married, because marriage has nothing to do with any of that stuff. If you’re willing to have your eyes open and see a good person when they come along, and if you’re patient enough to develop a solid relationship built on grace, truth, and love, then you’ll likely find yourself a spouse you can be with for a lifetime.”

I remember one day on a college campus talking with a student after he asked me why he should ever be a Christian. I don’t think he expected my answer. I had already assessed that the guy was looking for a philosophical debate, so I went in a different direction. I said something like:

“I don’t think you should be a Christian. Jesus had people misunderstand him all the time. He was ridiculed and persecuted, tortured and killed. And he had the chutzpah to tell his followers that suffering would be a big part of being his disciple. Many of them followed him anyway. If you’re interested in why they did, we can talk. But if you just want to try and feel good by talking about Jesus, and avoid facing life’s pain and suffering, then I’m not wasting my time. So, what do you want to do?”

We will miss Jesus altogether if we are looking for a particular person. Whenever we get married to specific outcomes, then we’ll miss him for sure.

I wonder how many times Jesus showed up in your life this week, and you didn’t recognize him. In truth, Jesus is with us, by means of the Spirit, all the time. If you don’t see him, it’s not God’s fault, or anybody else’s.

Humility accesses spiritual sight. The religious leaders of Christ’s day were flummoxed and fuming all the time because of their arrogance, and their settled theological and biblical dogma. And so, they could not see who Jesus is, even though he was smack in front of them.

Yet, even though we may be spiritually blind and deaf, and finally see a glimpse and catch a sound of Jesus, that graciously means he is still there, beside you, never having given up on you.

Even a blurry and faint awareness realizes Jesus coming in the people we meet each day who encourage and bless us. Christ even comes and speaks through those we would not expect to hear a word from God.

Whenever we may wonder where Jesus is in our suffering and pain, he is there, sometimes even holding us and carrying us, despite our lack of awareness.

In reality, Jesus is in front of us, beside us, and holding us, all of the time. It’s just a matter of whether we know it, or not. Christ is in everything we experience. He is in both our sadness and joy, the noise and the silence, our work as well as worship, business and leisure, at night when we fall asleep and in the morning when we open our eyes.

So, if we are looking and longing for Christ, he has already come. Jesus came in the most humble forms possible. So, in order to see and experience him, we need to get low enough to see and hear him.

My Lord and my God, help me to see You in all of the ways You come to me today. Teach me not to despise any of the forms in which You come to me as being too common, humble, or ordinary. 

Wake me with Your presence in the morning and tuck me into bed when I sleep. Labor with me in my work today, and cause my leisure to lead to thanksgiving. 

Speak to me through the people You have ordained for me to meet today, and speak even through me, in spite of myself. 

For good and for ill, better and worse, in sickness and health, and in richness and poverty, reveal Yourself to me that I may receive whatever blessing You have chosen for me this day; through Jesus Christ Your Son, my Lord, who with You and the Holy Spirit are One God, now and forever. Amen.

How Long, O Lord? (Psalm 80)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Hear us, Shepherd of Israel,
    you who lead Joseph like a flock.
You who sit enthroned between the cherubim,
    shine forth before Ephraim, Benjamin and Manasseh.
Awaken your might;
    come and save us.

Restore us, O God;
    make your face shine on us,
    that we may be saved.

How long, Lord God Almighty,
    will your anger smolder
    against the prayers of your people?
You have fed them with the bread of tears;
    you have made them drink tears by the bowlful.
You have made us an object of derision to our neighbors,
    and our enemies mock us.

Restore us, God Almighty;
    make your face shine on us,
    that we may be saved.

You transplanted a vine from Egypt;
    you drove out the nations and planted it.
You cleared the ground for it,
    and it took root and filled the land.
The mountains were covered with its shade,
    the mighty cedars with its branches.
Its branches reached as far as the Sea,
    its shoots as far as the River.

Why have you broken down its walls
    so that all who pass by pick its grapes?
Boars from the forest ravage it,
    and insects from the fields feed on it.
Return to us, God Almighty!
    Look down from heaven and see!
Watch over this vine,
    the root your right hand has planted,
    the son you have raised up for yourself.

Your vine is cut down, it is burned with fire;
    at your rebuke your people perish.
Let your hand rest on the man at your right hand,
    the son of man you have raised up for yourself.
Then we will not turn away from you;
    revive us, and we will call on your name.

Restore us, Lord God Almighty;
    make your face shine on us,
    that we may be saved. (New International Version)

What do you do when your life is not going as expected? How do you deal with the confusion of unwanted circumstances you didn’t ask for?

Nobody willingly signs up for chronic pain, constant hardship, debilitating situations, and unanswered prayer. And yet, all of us know what it feels like to have our hearts broken over a child, parent, or relative; or to be grief-stricken with either a physical malady, mental disease, emotional disorder, spiritual abuse, or some combination of them.

The psalmist most certainly knows your difficulty and your pain. That’s because he intimately knew God – and still had questions! In fact, all of us who worship and adore the Lord have faced the conundrum that God seems, at times, to be missing in action.

We may wonder, like the psalmist, where the God of the past is. Where is the One who manhandled enemies, provided for the godly, and brought abundant life? The Lord might sometimes seem to be foreign to our human condition, and far from our human experience of things.

There are plenty of stories in the Bible about God doing the miraculous, bringing deliverance, and extending help in dire situations. Yet, for many, in this present time, there is silence. Prayer after prayer brings nothing but bupkis from God. A sullen angst can easily settle into our spiritual bones.

It could also be that people we love and care for are experiencing too many hardships, boatloads of anxiety, and are wracked with worry. And we wonder why God has not risen up to answer our prayers on their behalf.

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me? (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV)

The very fact that with only a cursory look at the news there are children dying in war, senseless murders in the streets, and wanton destruction throughout the world, we may cry out, “Where is God in all this? Wake up! How long, O Lord, must we endure this!?”

Even the small tragedies of life might push us beyond what we can bear, because grief is stacked upon grief in a big lamentable sandwich of spiritual hurt. And if God seems nowhere to be found, our afflictions are multiplied.

The psalmist drew upon agricultural metaphors that his culture was quite familiar with. A society of farmers knows how much hard work is involved in their vocation – and the hours of anxiety and concern for the field to produce some crops and bear some fruit.

Farmers very much realize the power that nature can do through either drought or flood, hail or wind. The picture of the attentive farmer, gardener, and vinedresser is an apt picture of how God looks upon us.

I grew up on an Iowa farm. I have an intimate understanding of the requirements for tending to the land so that it will produce a crop, and yield a good harvest. Like many jobs, farming isn’t something that requires the same amount of attention every single day.

There are times and seasons for a high degree of activity, like planting in the Spring and harvesting in the Fall. At other times, there isn’t much to do but wait.

By no means does the farmer expect the plants to grow overnight. The faithful farmer learns to be patient, knowing that it will be weeks before anything breaks the ground; and that it will take all summer for the crops to grow and mature before they are ready for harvest.

In those times of inactivity, the corn stalks don’t start talking to one another about where the farmer went to, and whether he is off fishing or not. Even though the farmer is absent, the actions of the farmer are still very much evident.

Our own wonderings and questions about God’s presence and absence are all understandable and valid. Yet, we must keep in mind that there is continual evidence all around us that the Lord has been at work, and is still laboring as the Divine Gardener in ways we cannot see.

God is continually watching over us, ensuring that we have the proper conditions of sun, water, and good soil in order to grow, thrive, and produce a harvest of righteousness. We will still face the adverse circumstances of inclement weather, unfavorable weeds, and pests eating on and around us. Yet, we already and always have everything we need to live a successful spiritual life – without choking or starving to death.

We are not going to have all of our questions answered this side of heaven. We are, however, assured that God is good and can restore us when we are broken or failing to thrive. However, it just might take some time to do it, that’s all.

O God of heavenly powers, by the might of your command, drive away from our bodies all sickness and infirmity, and everything that brings us ill health of either body, mind, or spirit. Be present in your goodness with all your servants who are in need, that their weakness may be banished and strength restored; and that, with health renewed, they may bless your holy Name. Amen.