Tag: relationships

Skilled Work (1 Kings 5:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
King Solomon and King Hiram, by Unknown artist

Because King Hiram of Tyre was loyal to David throughout his rule, Hiram sent his servants to Solomon when he heard that Solomon had become king after his father. Solomon sent the following message to Hiram: 

“You know that my father David wasn’t able to build a temple for the name of the Lord my God. This was because of the enemies that fought him on all sides until the Lord put them under the soles of his feet. Now the Lord my God has given me peace on every side, without enemies or misfortune. So I’m planning to build a temple for the name of the Lord my God, just as the Lord indicated to my father David, ‘I will give you a son to follow you on your throne. He will build the temple for my name.’ Now give the order and have the cedars of Lebanon cut down for me. My servants will work with your servants. I’ll pay your servants whatever price you set, because you know we have no one here who is skilled in cutting wood like the Sidonians.”

Hiram was thrilled when he heard Solomon’s message. He said, “Today the Lord is blessed because he has given David a wise son who is in charge of this great people.” Hiram sent word back to Solomon:

“I have heard your message to me. I will do as you wish with the cedar and pinewood. My servants will bring the wood down the Lebanon Mountains to the sea. I’ll make rafts out of them and float them on the sea to the place you specify. There I’ll dismantle them, and you can carry them away. Now, as for what you must do for me in return, I ask you to provide for my royal house.”

So Hiram gave Solomon all the cedar and pinewood that he wanted. In return, Solomon gave an annual gift to Hiram of twenty thousand kors [2,000 tons] of wheat to eat, and twenty thousand kors [4,000 liters] of pure oil for his palace use. Now the Lord made Solomon wise, just as he had promised. Solomon and Hiram made a covenant and had peace. (Common English Bible)

King Solomon was granted by God all the wisdom necessary to rule over Israel and Judah (1 Kings 3:1-15). Early in his reign, he began the construction of a permanent Temple in Jerusalem – a task that was originally in the heart of his father King David.

Today’s Old Testament lesson is the beginning of the account of Solomon’s grand building project. It focuses on the assistance offered by King Hiram of Tyre.

Skilled Leaders

The city of Tyre was a major port in Lebanon. The cedar trees of Lebanon were renowned in the ancient world as being large and strong. Solomon – always the savvy one in knowing where to find the best of the best – looked to King Hiram for the cedar logs needed for building the Temple.

What’s more, Solomon asked Hiram for the builders to help in construction of God’s Temple. King Solomon not only had a broad knowledge of just about everything in creation, but he also understood human nature. He named the reality that the Sidonians were the best at handling their exceptional lumber.

Furthermore, Solomon was clear about the reason for the ambitious building project of the Temple. He believed that the task of erecting the Temple was divinely given to him. Solomon therefore trusted God to help him complete the job.

As a result, the two kings negotiated a treaty in which Hiram provided the lumber and the lumbermen, with Solomon providing grain and olive oil for Hiram’s court. In recounting this, the editor of Kings emphasized Solomon’s wisdom, and the peaceful relations that Jerusalem and Tyre enjoyed.

Perhaps all of this rehashing of an old agreement between a couple of ancient kings seems irrelevant to the modern and post-modern person. Yet, it is a classic example of the realities concerning communication and theology.

Skilled Communication

Hiram had the resources for building, and the skilled builders; Solomon had the money, goods, and administrative knowledge to make their relationship a mutually beneficial one.

Each king negotiated successfully, namely because there was no disadvantage in their treaty relationship. The two nations balanced one another by offering it’s advantages to the other.

Solomon and Hiram came to a genuine win-win agreement. Each of them stated exactly what they wanted and what they would provide, without apology. Both kings promoted their own interests while showing concern for the other’s interests, as well.

The success of their deal was based on mutual trust, which began years earlier with King David.

Skilled Theology

Today’s narrative is more than an example of how to negotiate a deal. It fits into a larger narrative of what God was doing with the nation of Israel. Central to every biblical story is God, who is both object and subject of Holy Scripture.

The Lord revealed a slow and unfolding drama of redemption for people. The construction of the Temple was a prominent way of God revealing divine mercy to the people. It’s central place at the highest point in Jerusalem communicated that the Lord is in the middle of everything, and high above it all.

And the way in which Solomon went about constructing the Jewish Temple included non-Jewish builders. God, through divine sovereignty and grace, led Gentiles to hob-nob with Jews who worship Yahweh, and to thus experience a glimpse of the Lord through the people and the place.

Indeed, all things work together for good to those who love God. (Romans 8:28)

Gracious God, I ask that your love and goodness will have its way for all those who seek to live according to justice and righteousness. You are full of steadfast in love and abounding in mercy. Help me accept your love and mercy. May it flow powerfully in me, and through me, to your glory and honor. Amen.

Resolving a Problem (Acts 6:1-7)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Exploring Church Ministry Blog, Year BLeave a comment

In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. 

So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.”

This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.

So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith. (New International Version)

Growing Pains

The burgeoning new church grew both spiritually and numerically. The apostolic ministry proclaimed the good news of Jesus Christ every day in the Jerusalem temple, and from house to house.

Anytime a group gets larger, there are growing pains. Problems arise which need to be addressed. In the earliest church, a conflict developed because the Greek-speaking widows were being neglected and overlooked in the distribution of food, whereas the Hebrew-speaking widows were not.

You can easily see how all sorts of feelings and judgments could pop up from that situation. Just because the church ministry was growing and thriving, did not mean that there would never be problems. Quite the contrary.

A Bad Approach

We can observe what the apostles did, and did not, do when the conflict came to their attention. The apostles did not:

Work harder

They didn’t simply add more work to what they were already doing with the old philosophy that “if you want something done right, do it yourself.” The apostles were clearly not control freaks. They appear to understand that God has ultimate control of all things, and that they themselves were practice self-control.

Operate in their weakness

The apostles weren’t experts on food distribution. Some of them, like Peter and John, knew how to get food to a market; but they likely knew nothing of keeping hundreds of widows daily fed. After all, there were no government food programs for needy people to rely upon. Everyone relied on family. And if there was no family to help, then the church stepped in to fill the gap.

Do everything themselves

Not every problem or situation has to be handled by an apostle (or a church clergyperson). God has gifted every believer with spiritual gifts of various kinds. Having skills, abilities, and talents wasted because the top leadership does everything, not only makes no sense, but it is also bad spiritual theology.

Attack the complainers

It’s one thing to grumble out of a sense of selfishness and ingratitude; it’s another thing altogether to complain because of grief, of being neglected and overlooked as a legitimate person to receive something you need. This is what we call “justice,” that everyone has what they need to thrive and flourish in this life. The apostles listened; they didn’t belittle the complaints or simply tell the people to stop complaining.

Take a vote

Leaders lead. Apostles engage in apostolic ministry. They don’t vote. Oftentimes, voting is a cop out for leaders to not make a decision that they ought to be making. In their insecurity, they’ll do anything but be decisive. They’ll ask for more information, and promise to take care of it sooner than later. But they won’t make a decision. Putting that on the congregation or the group as a whole is unnecessary.

Form committees and subcommittees

The apostles did not research the problem to death. They didn’t commission a group of people to study the issue and come up with at least three options to choose from. The issue of widows not getting food was serious. A matter of health, and life, and death. The problem needed to be handled quickly and efficiently. Leaders are given authority to make decisions and get things done – not to keep vital issues in a committee for months on end.

Start a new church

It was never a thought in any of the apostle’s heads to have two churches: one Greek, and the other Hebrew. No, they were determined to maintain the unity of the church through the bond of peace. The apostles didn’t ask anyone to leave and start a new ministry on the other side of Jerusalem.

A Good Approach

Instead of doing any of that goofy stuff, here is what the original apostles of Christ did do:

Came up with a practical solution

Instead of commissioning committees, the apostles commissioned faithful people to ensure that the work of distributing food would be carried out with integrity and competence.

Had people with skin in the game do the work

The men the apostles commissioned for the work were Greek Christians. These guys were likely familiar with the widows and knew their situations. And they were the best people for the job of making sure the ladies got needed food. Ministry is always personal, not impersonal.

Kept doing their important work

The apostles decided that their ministry of the word and prayer was too important to neglect for even a moment. They kept up the teaching, praying, mentoring, and encouraging ministry to which they were called. It is possible to affirm the good work of others and let them do it, while also affirming one’s own good work and sticking to it.

Focused on people and relationships

The presenting problem was food distribution. Yet, the real issue was widows in need. They were hungry. The apostles implemented a system based upon people and relationships, and not just on solving a problem.

Impacted the community

The way in which the conflict of food distribution was handled made a big difference – both in the church community, and also in the city of Jerusalem. As a result of the apostles and their decision in this matter, their ministry became even more effective, and people were added to the church – including a number of priests, who likely understood better than anyone how an internal issue can get out of control. They wanted in, as they heard the good news, and saw it demonstrated in the life of the church.

Conclusion

Dealing with church problems and internal issues within a group of people is not about being right and winning arguments. It’s about meeting the needs of people, and glorifying God. It matters how we treat one another within the church. Christians are meant to be the light of the world, and not the dark underbelly of detached systems, policies, and doctrinal statements.

The choices we make, how we go about making those decisions, and the way in which we implement them, reflects whether the life of Christ is within us, or not.

Blessed God, may the humility, wisdom, and compassion of Jesus Christ flow powerfully within me, so that what comes out of me is thoroughly loving, in my words, affect, tone of voice, gestures, and actions. Amen.

Pass Along Values (1 Kings 2:1-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David’s Dying Charge to Solomon, by Ferdinand Bol (1616-1680)

David’s time was coming to an end. So he commanded Solomon his son, “I’m following the path that the whole earth takes. Be strong and be a man. Guard what is owed to the Lord your God, walking in his ways and observing his laws, his commands, his judgments, and his testimonies, just as it is written in the Instruction from Moses.

“In this way you will succeed in whatever you do and wherever you go. So also the Lord will confirm the word he spoke to me: ‘If your children will take care to walk before me faithfully, with all their heart and all their being, then one of your own children will never fail to be on the throne of Israel.’ 

“You should know what Joab, Zeruiah’s son, has done to me and what he did to the two generals of Israel, Abner, Ner’s son, and Amasa, Jether’s son. He murdered them, spilling blood at peacetime and putting the blood of war on the belt around his waist and on the sandals on his feet. So act wisely: Don’t allow him to die a peaceful death. 

“As for Barzillai’s sons from Gilead, show them kindness. Let them eat with you. When I was running away from your brother Absalom, they came to me. 

“Now as for this Shimei, Gera’s son—a Benjaminite from Bahurim—who is with you, he cursed me viciously when I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord, ‘Surely I won’t execute you with the sword.’ But you don’t need to excuse him. You are wise and know what to do to him. Give him a violent death.”

Then David lay down with his ancestors and was buried in David’s City. He ruled over Israel forty years—seven years in Hebron and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. (Common English Bible)

David

On David’s deathbed, he ensured that his son Solomon would be king. And David had some pragmatic advice to pass along, before he himself passed away.

Along with an encouragement to remain faithful to God’s covenant stipulations, David communicated some personal scores to Solomon that needed to be settled. Old general Joab, as well as Shimei, a servant from Saul’s old house, were threats to the new king’s reign in Israel and Judah.

Joab and Shimei

King David had a complicated relationship with Joab. At issue for David was the murder of two opponents to the king. Joab had killed them in a time of peace, and not because of a wartime situation.

On top of that, Joab had thrown his lot in with Adonijah, Solomon’s half-brother, who had tried to wriggle onto the throne before David was even gone.

And then there was the character Shimei. He had cursed David repeatedly when yet another half-brother to Solomon, Absalom, engaged in a coup attempt against his father.

Once the threat had passed, Shimei made a quick about face back to David. The king told Shimei that he would not kill him. But with Solomon, David communicated that he was completely free to do what needed to be done with the old rascal Shimei.

Fathers

Ideally, all fathers would have the chance to communicate to their children at the end of their lives. Yet, having been at the bedside of many a father in my work as a hospital chaplain, I’ve not seen many who pass along wisdom and instructions on their deathbed.

Fortunately, there are times when I can help facilitate the conversation between father and family. Yet, unfortunately, there are far too many times when fathers simply die with no loved ones present; or they badger someone to promise to stop doing something.

Rare, however, are the experiences of expressing some sound instruction, along with instructions about how to deal with life.

I realize that wills and documents do much of this work nowadays, yet I still argue that face-to-face communication which reinforces one’s values is always a good idea – especially at the end of one’s life.

Honestly, nobody really needs to wait until they are nearly gone to communicate important values and sage advice to loved ones. It can be done now, before it’s too late.

I’m talking about more than healthcare decisions for the actual end of life situation – but about the grace, forgiveness, wisdom, and/or moral values one wants their loved ones to know; or to reinforce those things that are of upmost importance.

It seems to me that thinking through the following values, and how to communicate them, can be done now, and, if appropriate and possible, at the end of one’s life:

Empathy

Treat others with compassion and understanding. Practice kindness. Consider the emotions of others. Seek to understand another’s point of view. Encourage family members to talk about their feelings. 

Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12, CEB)

Relationships

In the end, the only thing permanent and enduring is relationships. We cannot take any of our stuff with us. Prioritize time with people, especially family. It only makes sense to value loved ones by putting our time into them.

Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying. Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. (Romans 12:15-16, CEB)

Honesty

Telling the truth is not always easy, but it’s essential to maintaining trust between people. Life requires knowing and living by the truth.

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teaching. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32, CEB)

Love

Deep affection and attachment connects people and keeps them together. It’s important to verbally express love, as well as to demonstrate it with actions.

Don’t be in debt to anyone, except for the obligation to love each other. Whoever loves another person has fulfilled the Law. (Romans 13:8, CEB)

Commitment

Support one another in difficult times; and do not intentionally harm each other. Don’t shame your family for mistakes they’ve made. Instead, express loyalty and encouragement.

Be the best in this work of grace in the same way that you are the best in everything, such as faith, speech, knowledge, total commitment, and the love we inspired in you. (2 Corinthians 8:7, CEB)

Respect

Treat everyone, and especially family members, with the upmost care and politeness; and discourage disrespectful words and offensive behavior.

Submit to each other out of respect for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21, CEB)

Perseverance

Your family will face many complex challenges in the years ahead. Encourage them to embrace shared goals, practice self-care, and patiently work together in order to overcome obstacles. 

We even take pride in our problems, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. (Romans 5:3-4, CEB)

It is always open season on passing along wise and good values, no matter whether it’s in a calm or a calamitous season of life.

Almighty God, enable me to be mindful of your mercy and happy to do your will. Bless my family with honest work, sound learning, and good manners. Save us all from violence, division, and confusion; and from pride and arrogance, and all evil. Protect us, and keep us united.

Grant Your wisdom to all in positions of authority and influence, so that there may be justice and peace at home, and obedience and submission everywhere. In times of prosperity, fill our hearts with grace and gratitude, and in times of trouble, help us trust in Your divine justice, righteousness, and goodness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Family Drama (2 Samuel 13:37-14:24)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
The woman of Tekoa before King David, by Caspar Luiken, 1700

Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son.

After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.

Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom. So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him.” And Joab put the words in her mouth.

When the woman from Tekoa went to the king, she fell with her face to the ground to pay him honor, and she said, “Help me, Your Majesty!”

The king asked her, “What is troubling you?”

She said, “I am a widow; my husband is dead. I your servant had two sons. They got into a fight with each other in the field, and no one was there to separate them. One struck the other and killed him. Now the whole clan has risen up against your servant; they say, ‘Hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed; then we will get rid of the heir as well.’ They would put out the only burning coal I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth.”

The king said to the woman, “Go home, and I will issue an order in your behalf.”

But the woman from Tekoa said to him, “Let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt.”

The king replied, “If anyone says anything to you, bring them to me, and they will not bother you again.”

She said, “Then let the king invoke the Lord his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed.”

“As surely as the Lord lives,” he said, “not one hair of your son’s head will fall to the ground.”

Then the woman said, “Let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.”

“Speak,” he replied.

The woman said, “Why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son? Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.

“And now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. Your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; perhaps he will grant his servant’s request. Perhaps the king will agree to deliver his servant from the hand of the man who is trying to cut off both me and my son from God’s inheritance.’

“And now your servant says, ‘May the word of my lord the king secure my inheritance, for my lord the king is like an angel of God in discerning good and evil. May the Lord your God be with you.’”

Then the king said to the woman, “Don’t keep from me the answer to what I am going to ask you.”

“Let my lord the king speak,” the woman said.

The king asked, “Isn’t the hand of Joab with you in all this?”

The woman answered, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right or to the left from anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who instructed me to do this and who put all these words into the mouth of your servant. Your servant Joab did this to change the present situation. My lord has wisdom like that of an angel of God—he knows everything that happens in the land.”

The king said to Joab, “Very well, I will do it. Go, bring back the young man Absalom.”

Joab fell with his face to the ground to pay him honor, and he blessed the king. Joab said,

“Today your servant knows that he has found favor in your eyes, my lord the king, because the king has granted his servant’s request.”

Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king. (New International Version)

By Bible Art

Absalom’s sister, Tamar, was sexually assaulted by their half-brother Amnon. As a result, Absalom brought Tamar to live in his house, because she had become a desolate woman.

When their father, King David, heard all this, he was, of course, furious; yet, he did nothing. And Absalom never talked to Amnon again; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.

For two years, Abasalom stewed on the terrible event of his sister’s assault. When the man’s bitterness came to it’s full poison, Abasalom created a ruse in order to kill Amnon. And the murderous plot was successful.

Then, Absalom fled and went to Geshur (north of Israel, in present day Syria) and stayed there three years. King David longed to go to Absalom, but he never did, nor did he do anything, either good or bad.

All of that stuff is what led up to today’s story about bringing Absalom back. When I was younger, I would read these stories of David and his sons and scratch my head as to why a guy that’s so wise to so many things seems stupid when it comes to his own family.

And then I became a father myself, with grown adult children. Now, I understand David’s actions and in-actions. I get it. When it comes to being a parent of adult kids, there is a very different perspective. It’s an outlook that’s hard to communicate and put into words.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s how God looks at us.

The nearest I can get to describing it, is that the sense of awe and wonder at that little baby being born never quite goes away.

The incredible and seemingly miraculous thing we call childbirth creates a view that this human being is so special, there is always hope they will become a little child again, that is, not literally, but in the sense of being yet again humble, right, good, and endearing – that the relational value will return.

In this sense, a parent never loses hope. And I think that is something of what King David was experiencing with his own adult children. What’s more, it seems that God has this unfailing love for us that continually longs for humanity to come back to the divine relationship.

God appears in Holy Scripture as this heavenly Father (and Mother) who is slow to judgment and long on steadfast love and covenant loyalty. The Lord is not slow in keeping promises or doing what is right. Rather, God is patiently waiting for humans to come to repentance and faith.

Admittedly, there is the sense that King David seems unreasonable, that he was unwilling to do something about his adult children’s shenanigans. Yet, there is also this sense of longing, of King David knowing the potential of his children, and holding out the hope that they will live into who they were created to be on this earth.

I definitely don’t think David always got it right. But he also didn’t always get it wrong, either. Which is pretty darned close to how every parent is doing, if we are honest about it. So, here is a blessing for parents of adult children:

May the Lord bless your adult children with the gift of the Holy Spirit. May they be filled with faith, hope, love, peace, truth, and spiritual power, so that they may be blessed and be a blessing to others.

And may God guide parents everywhere with discernment and wisdom, so that everything they do will come from the place of grace, truth, and love. Amen.